Very good, House

A House – Jeeves and Wooster – Highlander: The Series crossover

By JK Fie'r.

Summary: Wilson asks an old friend for a favour. House wakes up to find an Immortal by his bed. Jeeves finds himself grateful that this time his employer can't climb through the windows of country mansions.

Author's note: Never let your parents dare you.

For those who don't know the other series involved in this fic, allow me to explain.

Jeeves and Wooster is a comedy series based on the books by P.G. Woodhouse. The stories are (mostly) set in various parts of England during the 1920s. Bertie Wooster (Hugh Laurie) is a night-life-lover, and Jeeves (Stephen Fry) is his long-suffering valet. Wooster is continually getting himself into trouble, and more often than not it's up to Jeeves to help him out of it. Mention of the various characters shall probably be made in this fic (Madeline Basset comes to mind…)

Highlander: The Series, is a show about Immortals. None of the characters from that program are intended to appear or be mentioned in this fic. The only reason that this is a crossover with this universe is because I needed some way to get Jeeves into the House universe.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the series being used in this fic.

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Chapter one: No gin

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Gregory House woke to the sound of eggs cracking in the background, and decided that today was going to be slightly more interesting than the last.

For starters, there was somebody else in his apartment.

"Good morning sir."

For seconds, he had a hangover that spoke of one too many drinks the night before.

He opened his eyes, and glared as the dark-haired person standing at a polite distance from his bed loomed down at him, silver tray in hand and something unidentifiable in a glass resting on said tray.

"Who," he began, his tongue feeling as though 'fuzzy old gym sock' would only be the beginning of a paragraph of description, "the hell are you?"

"Jeeves, sir. Your drink, sir."

House eyed it suspiciously.

"What is that?"

"A beneficial tonic, sir. Something that I felt you would need this fine morning sir."

And because House was still more than a little intoxicated, he drank the stuff.

Around half an hour later, and by some staggering reversal of the natural order, a fully-dressed House limped into the lounge room, cane making semi-rhythmic taps on the ground.

There was the smell of frying eggs in the air, and that same someone –Jeeves, or something – was expertly sliding bacon onto a plate from a frying pan. For reasons that House was still at a loss to fathom, the man was wearing something that looked vaguely reminiscent of an immaculately kept tuxedo under a plain apron.

"Good morning sir."

"Who the hell are you?" House repeated. This morning was getting weirder by the minute.

"Jeeves sir."

"What the hell are you doing in my apartment?"

"Doctor Wilson asked me to come, sir. He seemed to believe that I would be useful to you."

Bloody Wilson. Despite himself though, House was almost impressed. He'd never met anybody who could actually sound as though he were fully pronouncing the word 'Doctor'.

House limped to the table, but didn't sit down. Instead, he leaned forward against his cane expectantly.

"How'd you get in?"

"A key, sir. Doctor Wilson was kind enough to supply me with one."

No, he hadn't been hearing things. Not 'Dr. Wilson', it was definitely 'Doctor Wilson'.

Jeeves, for his part, was mildly surprised that the question he had always been first asked in some form or another – up until this employer – hadn't been yet asked.

"What was that drink you gave me this morning?"

There it was.

"A tonic for taking care of hangovers, sir."

"Yeah? What was in it?"

"Mm, trade secret sir," Jeeves replied, deliberately not tapping the side of his nose conspiratorially.

House sat down.

"You're seriously not going to tell me?" he asked, reaching for his vicodin and blatantly ignoring the look that Jeeves gave him as he tossed it back with the glass of water that was handily already on the table.

"Some secrets are best kept, sir. I wouldn't wish for you to put me out of a trade, sir."

And thus House was introduced to his new valet.

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Closing note:

For the record, this is essentially the same way that Jeeves introduces himself to Bertie as well.

Yes, I tend to keep chapters relatively short, about a page or so on average. Sorry.

EDIT: I've fixed the bits (two words, actually), that say 'butler'. I should have written valet. Silly me.