Day by Day

Basically a fic to just going day by day though the life's of loveless characters as they get older- focusing mainly on Ristuka and Soubi's relationship

(PS if you're reading "No going back" by me1.I'm sorry 2.I will update soon-ish and 3. I actually have some good stuff coming!) Here goes nothing

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Ritsuka walked into his room, threw himself onto his bed, and stared up at the ceiling .

He had been so tried lately- both emotionally and physically. Thinking of Soubi all day did that to him.

He was older now – turning 15 next month - but instead of growing closer to Soubi their bond weakened every day. Soubi was growing distant and losing interest, Ristuka didn't understand what he was doing wrong. He had tried being more affectionate (which only caused him to disappear for a whole week), he tried being less affectionate (which really did nothing at all).

Ritsuka raked his brain for reasons why Soubi was doing this. 'Maybe he's hiding something, maybe he's finally realizing that he doesn't need to be with me…. or maybe he's finally realizing he deserves better…' The last thought hit him hard.

Beside SE's order, Risuka never really understood why Soubi stayed with him. The blond claimed it was out of love (or at least he used to), but Ristuka had his doubts. The man was so amazing, beautiful, artistic, -why would someone like that want to be with a kid?

His eyes slid shut, and he thought backed to when they first met. That day in the park- his and Soubi's first kiss- it seemed like a lifetime ago. He could still remember the way he felt against his lips, and the way his heart skipped a beat when he first said 'I love you.'

He longed to feel that again. He was older now, shouldn't Soubi be more willing? The blond left him a confused and distraught, like he always did.

He glanced over to his nightstand where his phone was sitting. God, Ritsuka wanted to call him. To hear his voice, even for just a second, to let him know that he there -that he would fulfill the promise to always be there.

Seimei left. His dad was always gone. His mom hated him. His friends didn't really know him. …Now Soubi was leaving too. Slowly but surely Ritsuka could feel him slipping out of his hands. He knew it was only a matter of time before he left all together.

Eventually the boy fell asleep wondering why he wasn't good enough for anyone to stay. Maybe he truly was Loveless.

Meanwhile Soubi sat in front of a canvas, a forgotten paint brush in his hand, while his mind was off in other places.

It felt like forever since he last saw Ristuka, last touched him, held him. He missed the boy. He wanted nothing more than to see him again, to kiss him, to run feather-like touches down the boy's back, to hear him gasp-

Soubi shook his of these thoughts. He knew he shouldn't think things like that about R. He was still just a boy, innocent ...pure.

But God sometimes the blond couldn't help himself. Ristuka used to be cute, but now he was border-line irresistible. As Soubi predicted, he got tall -like his brother- now his little fighter was only a head shorter than him, but still thin as a rail. R's shoulders broaden slightly, his jaw line became more defined, and his voice was lower now, and more mature.

Besides the height, the changes happened subtlety and gradually, but he couldn't help but to dwell on them. Soubi swore that Ritsuka looked more attractive every time he saw him. Sure, Seimei was attractive, but never like that. Soubi could hardly see the boy without wanting to pounce, it seemed the less he saw Ristuka the worse it got.

Soubi sighed. He promised himself a long time ago that he would wait. He would wait until Ristuka was older, and he would just have to be satisfied with kisses and light touches here and there. He promised himself that he would try to let Ristuka have a semi-normal childhood; he deserved at least that much. Soubi's childhood was stolen from him when he was so young- at least he had hope for the boy.

So Soubi distanced himself, for both their sakes.

Ritsuka… the boy who made him human again and practically brought him back from the dead. The boy who gave him freedoms he never wanted or even thought possible. He was the boy that saved him.

And God did he want to prove it took him.

((Bleh whatever though… leave a review please, and if you like it Ill continue. Thanks for reading!))