Electricity

By LMR

Summary: Sequel to "The Other Side." Another funny murder mystery with furtherance of thecheesy romantic subplot. BA 'ship story Mystery, Humor, Romance Rated K plus for murder, mild language, and mild sexuality ("Yay! There's sexuality this time!" readers cheer.)

A.N.: You really have to read "The Other Side" first or you're going to miss some important details. It won't be too painful, I promise.

xXx A.N. 2 (the important one!): I want to really really thank you guys for all your reviews for "T.O.S" on and for the read count on When I'm having a bad day, reading these reviews just lifts me up again. I can never thank you enough for that! I love you guys!

A.N. 3 (no, this one's important, too. Really!): For some unknown reason, Claire (guitar73girl) is still Beta'ing for me. I would like to thank her for that. Very much. Also, I would like to call in Mulder and Scully to find out what ungodly force would make someone continue Beta'ing this stuff.

A.N. 4: There is not A.N. 4. I was just seeing if I could actually make the notes longer than the chapter.

Disclaimer: I'll bring them right back, I swear!

Chapter 1: But the Toe Bone's Supposed to be Connected to the Foot Bone!

xXx

In New York City's War on Crime, the worst criminal offenders are pursued by the detectives of the Major Case Squad. These are their stories. Doink, doink.

It was a dark and stormy night. Actually it was a bright Tuesday morning with a light breeze and a 14.785 percent chance of rain. But I've always wanted to start a story that way.

Anywho...

The young man took another gulp of water; set the glass down on the cluttered computer desk. He hastily jotted the number he'd just googled on the nearest scrap of paper he could find. He snorted a bit when he realized how appropriate this particular scrap was. All the better. He glanced at his watch. Yikes! He hastily exited out of the Internet and minesweeper and shut down his computer. He was late for work already, so there was no calling now. I can call during lunch, he figured.

It's not going to kill me to wait a few hours.

xXx

Grady Goodenhoppen stared at the toe. Toes, he knew, were supposed to grow out of feet, all ten of them. But this particular toe, he noted, was not. It was doing what his Daddy would have called thinking outside the box. Pushing the envelope. Being proactive not reactive. Taking it to the next level. Shifting the paradigm.

Because this particular toe was growing out of the ground.

Grady poked the toe. Hm. He poked it again. He wondered if it would grow leaves and petals. He would really like to see a toe with petals! The thought made him giggle. He wondered what color the petals would be.

Maybe polka dots.

Cherish, Grady's nanny, was thinking about sneezing. Not that she was considering sneezing - just thinking about it. Was it some kind of divine joke? And why is it some people always sneeze a certain number of times? Did people have sneeze numbers, and they always sneezed the same every time? Or was it just a coincidence that Mrs. Goodenhoppen always sneezed exactly four times? And why is "sneeze" such a funny word, anyway? she wondered. Sneeze, sneeze, sneeze.

"Nana, I found a toe," Grady reported solemnly, bringing Cherish out of her thoughts. "It's growing out of the ground, and it's got squirmy rice on it, too!"

"A what?" His nanny came to his side. She gasped when she saw what he had found. "Oh, no! Grady get away from that! Go back to the house," she insisted, reaching for her cell. "I said go back to the house now," Cherish emphasized when he remained, staring mesmerized at the maggot-ridden toe. She shivered as she dialed 911.

Doink, doink, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo! Doink, doink, doo-doo-doo-doooo-doo!

xXx

Next week:

"'There's a phone number, no name with it.' Goren held the business card delicately in his fingers, looking at the back. 'And it could have something to do with why he was killed.'"

A.N. 15: This story completely disregards the current season, in which the writers don't seem to know what "in character" means. "Now it's too late." WTF, Eames!?

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