I'm still alive~!! This is my first shounen-ai story, wanted to do this one for a while. The idea just popped in my head (because that's what ideas do, they pop in your head *pop*) I still blame the doujin, I found a really great site with a lot of doujin and I started reading so…

Pairing: Hijikata x Gintoki

Warnings: mentions of nightly activities, Gintoki's foul mouth, Hijikata's mayo obsession and Katsura being an idiot

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama, not even a single volume 'cause they're too lazy to translate them here

Enjoy!

Remember to always have a pair of extra boxers

Gintoki paced in front of the Shinsengumi barracks, doubt clearly on his face. He found some courage and wanted to go inside, but changed his mind and started pacing again. 'To go or not to go' He felt the need to strike a dramatic pose and hold a skull in his right hand but decided against it, the cosplaying could wait. Another few minutes of pacing and stopping every once in a while to sigh later, Gin saw the door open. He jumped a bit and wanted to hide but stopped as he heard a familiar voice.

"Ah, Danna! What brings you here?" Local sadist/Hijikata's assassin/Captain Okita greeted the freelancer, jogging on the spot. Kondo was also jogging on the spot, guiding their men out the barracks with enthusiastic 'hums', the occasional 'one, two, three, four' and 'Stop playing 'minton Yamazaki and focus on jogging!'. Because of Katsura's numerous and miraculous escapes, the Shogunate decided that the Shinsengumi was slacking off, so ordered them that they needed to get more exercise, thus making the whole Shinsengumi run laps around town every day around three in the afternoon, abandoning their barracks completely, leaving it open and just screaming for terrorism. Gin still wondered what good running around town with a small army could do, but decided to ignore their behaviour, they had to do something to pass the time.

"Just wandering around."

Okita, still jogging on the spot, nodded and got something out of his jacket, dropping a little bottle of poison which earned him a look from Gin and finally got a paper out of his pocket.

"Here." He threw the paper into Gin's hands, "I need to go now, Danna, still got to do a few more laps." He took out his red mask with the eyes on it, pulled it over his eyes and casually told him 'Oogushi-kun' was still in his office. With a wave, he turned around to catch up with the rest of his police force. The older samurai watched with a slight amused look as the young man caught up and saw them disappearing in the streets of Edo.

After checking that the paper was indeed harmless, he folded it open and looked at the content. 'What the…' He was slightly confused and looked it over quickly. It was a map of the Shinsengumi barracks, drawn by the sadist himself. He slightly sweatdropped as he saw that both Hijikata's office and bedroom where encircled with a bright red colour, also a secret door that had a note with it 'Danna only' and something hastily scribbled in the same red ink that looked like 'I hope you die of expired mayonnaise, Hijikata' and a few other threats meant for the chain smoker.

With a sigh, he folded it again and tucked it in the pocket of his yukata, knowing it would come in handy. 'Well they're all out, except for…' He heard a small explosion and a loud 'Damn you, Sougou!' followed by colourful cursing.

'Bingo.'

"So what are you doing here?" Hijikata asked annoyed, his hair giving off even more smoke than his cigarette. Gin shrugged and with a sigh, Hijikata went back to the seemingly endless stack of paperwork. The freelancer looked around the office to check for some other booby trap that might have been placed, he wondered how Hijikata could sleep with the constant threat of being murdered by one of his subordinates.

Hijikata put out his cigarette in the ashtray and wanted to grab another but stopped and looked up as he heard Gin talk for the first time since he had arrived.

"Seen any good movies lately?" The light haired man asked out of the blue. The latter just stared at him for a few seconds, not sure if he was annoyed or just stunned by his more than poor attempt to start up a conversation and just lighted up another cigarette.

"I take it your not here to ask me about that." He inhaled and blew some smoke into the others face after seeing the disgusted look Gintoki gave him.

"N-no not really." Gintoki answered with a slight cough and fanned his hand in front of his face to blow away the offending smoke, gaining a glare from the smoker. Hijikata didn't answer and just looked at the intruder, waiting for his excuse for barging into his office.

"Y-you know..", the vice-commander reached for another nicotine bomb and Gin continued, "The first time was probably a bit unplanned and all…" Hijikata almost dropped his lighter in his lap as he realised what Gin was talking about. This went unnoticed by the speaker as he just continued and paced around the room a bit, unable to look at Hijikata.

"Stop right there Katsura!" Okita was currently running after Katsura, rocket launcher resting on his right shoulder, mask still covering his eyes.

"Hahaha! You will never stop me from freeing this country!" He yelled after his chaser. Elizabeth took out a sign with 'Hell yeah!' gaining a look from Katsura.

"Elizabeth!", he shrieked in shock, " Where have you learned such foul words!?"

Okita ignored the terrorist's girly scream and looked behind him to see the rest of the Shinsengumi also giving chase, or running laps, he couldn't really tell. He abruptly stopped and took of his mask to ready his rocket launcher. He took aim and shot. Katsura avoided the most of it but lost a few bombs along the way. Okita ran past the bombs but his men stopped before they reached the bombs, or they were just too tired from running, could be either one.

Katsura ran into an alley and was met by a dead end, he turned around dramatically and faced Okita, a bit surprised when he noticed the lack of chasers.

"Where is the other dog?" Okita ignored the dog comment and since every dead man could have a final wish, he answered.

"Hijikata-san's still at the barracks with Danna." He said with no emotion, already aiming his rocket launcher.

"Gintoki!", Katsura wailed dramatically, "Why have you betrayed me!" Elizabeth took out another sign which read 'I knew it, Eric. I told you all along.' It turned the sign around, 'But you wouldn't believe me even if I showed you those DVD covers!' Katsura recited the lines from the last episode of 'Days of our Lives' and Elizabeth also seemed up to date with the current television drama.

"But I shall return." Katsura struck a pose and out of nothing, the floor under his feet disappeared and with loud laughter and 'My burning spirit shall free this country of the corrupt government! Sayonara, dogs of the Shogunate!' he and his Amanto pet were gone and the ground closed again.

'Che, I'll need to watch soap reruns. I missed that episode.' And he walked back to his now out of breath and slightly blown up squad.

Gintoki continued ranting and Hijikata had returned to his work after he had recovered from the initial shock. He and Gin had something with each other, so much he could admit. The first time had been completely unplanned, he had had a rough day chasing terrorists and for once the freelancer also had had a though day and even got shot twice in the process. He didn't know why, but since that accident, he felt attracted to the bastard and he knew the other also felt there was something more than just plain sex.

"But you know, by the seventh time," Hijikata noticed he was coming to the end of his rant and looked back up, "I-…" The freelancer fell silent and didn't meet Hijikata's gaze. The dark haired man knew what the other wanted to say, but he just enjoyed watching him in distress oh so much.

"I think I …", Gin gulped a bit and finally met his gaze, making his voice sound as serious as possible, Hijikata leaned a bit forward over his desk, now rather curious, "left my extra pair of boxers here." Hijikata just fell over because of the power of anime and quickly sat back up, an annoyed mark on his face.

"That's just why you came here you bastard?!" He shouted and put out his cigarette with as much fury as he could muster.

Gin felt a bit sorry for the poor cigarette and looked at Hijikata who had returned to his work once again. 'So he was expecting something else he…' He couldn't help but smile and felt now a bit more confident after seeing Hijikata's reaction. He went to sit again and watched him work. 'I should just…'

"Oogushi-kun."

"I already told you-" He lifted his head to retort but it was muffled by Gin's lips occupying his own. He didn't respond because of the shock and after a while, he felt Gin retreat. he forcefully pulled him back earning a sound from the other. He shoved some paperwork out of the way and climbed over his desk without breaking their contact. He digged his left hand in the silver curls to keep him in place and used the other to undo the others robes. He reached out to pull the yukata of but stopped when he felt a small paper inside it. Curious, he slowly broke the intense kiss and let Gin catch his breath again. He breathed a bit hard, grabbed the paper and looked at Gin, indicating his curiosity. Gin took the paper out of his hands and unfolded it.

"The sadist knows everything." He said, finally breathing normally again. Hijikata nodded with a knowing look on his face and looked over the map, annoyed by the numerous death threats and almost ripping it apart once he reached 'I hope your lighter will cause your clothes to catch fire, Hijikata-san'. Gin stopped him just in time and held the map out of the Shinsengumi's reach. Because of the sudden movement, a note that they hadn't noticed before fell out, Gin picked it up and turned around, much to Hijikata's dismay. The other didn't give in just yet and rested his chin on the shoulder of the silver haired samurai. His arms snaked around his waist, dug his face in the side of his neck and started to undo the buttons of the black shirt. Gin let him be and read the letter.

Dear Danna and Hijikata-san,

By the time you'll read this, you two will probably now be officially together. So I want to congratulate you both.

Okita Sougou

Gin smiled a bit, maybe the sadist was capable of human emotions after all…

PS: As soon as Danna has entered, the bomb that I have placed will start it's downcount. It should be set around thirty minutes.

Ok maybe not, but at least he had warned them.

PPS: I locked all the outside doors.

Gin reminded himself that he should stop trusting him.

"Toushi," Gin asked as Hijikata proceeded to unbutton his shirt, "How long have I been here?"

"About half an hour. Why?" He turned his face towards the ex-Joui member and looked at his face.

"What's-…"

Okita Sougou stopped and jogged on the spot as he heard a loud explosion coming from their barracks. All the onlookers and the rest of the Shinsengumi men stopped to look at the huge explosion. Okita still had his mask on so they couldn't see the glint in his eyes as he heard the loud bang.

"Oh my, leaving the barracks alone isn't such a good idea." He said as he went back to his laps. "Who know what could happen next time."

Otose was outside her shop, cleaning up from last night. She had also heard the explosion and wouldn't be surprised if that perm was somehow involved.

"Tama, could you please clean up inside the shop?" Otose asked the robot.

"Understood." Without any complaint, she went inside to start cleaning. 'Somebody could learn from her.' She thought, remembering a certain slacker living above her snack shop.

"Ohayo, Otose-san." She looked up from her thought and saw one of the slackers friends, the one with the glasses. She greeted him back and got a pack of cigarettes out of her kimono sleeve. She lighted one of them and inhaled deeply. Shinpachi was about to go up the stairs when they heard a familiar voice.

"Gintoki I promise you." Said voice belonged to Katsura, who was currently hanging from the ends of Gin's yukata. Gintoki dragged the Joui member along, trying to ignore him, failing rather miserably.

"If you just join our side, I could give you even better sex than those traitors.!" He continued to cry dramatically. Some onlookers looked a bit horrified but Gin just ignored them and continued walking with some difficulty.

After sharing a look, both Shinpachi and Otose decided to never bring this up again.

FIN! I first wanted to do a serious story but somehow this turned out in a fic about jogging Shinsengumi, soaps and explosions. Which is actually the definition of Gintama. How I love Sougou, he's such a sneaky little bastard, but you gotta love him. I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing this.

If anyone wonders what doujin site I meant, it's gintama_route18 on LiveJournal, it's friends locked.

Leave a review and save a kitten~!