"Phew." Hinata breathed while wiping a drop of sweat from his forehead. It was way too hot to be cleaning the entire restaurant, but Usami had assigned him to do the dreaded task today. Having finally finished washing all the dishes 'and with 16 students, there were a lot of dishes.' Nobody wanted to be told, forced, to sweep the entire restaurant, leaving it spotless just for it to be dirtied again the next morning.
Because Hanamura decided to cook a special breakfast for everyone, Hinata was locked up with even more pots and plates to scrub than usually. He had finally finished, walking in the burning sun to find someone to hang out with in his well-deserved free time. Sadly, because he was the last person to finish his job, everyone already choose someone to spend their precious time with. He looked at his handbook to see if he could find someone, anyone, alone. Being greeted by the cutesy, 8-bit pictograms of themselves, he saw that Komaeda was his only option, being alone, as usual, in the library.
Hinata nearly decided to go back to his cottage, and just take a nap there. But he was craving social interaction. "I guess he has to do." he sighed as made his way to the second island.
Arriving at the colossal library, this had to be overkill, a single blob of white stood out against the warmth of the mahogany furniture. Nose pressed deep inside a thick, red book, while stacks of other books were sprawled next to him on the table. He really did like to read, spending almost all his free time soaking up the black, fine print on contrasting, white paper.
Taking some pamphlets and small, informational books at random, Hinata sat down across the pale boy. Komaeda's head shot up, face emotionless for a second before a bright smile adorned his features. "Hinata-kun!" He was practically beaming at the sight of the brunet in front of him. "What a surprise you would want to spend time with someone as pathetic as me."
"Don't feel too flattered, everyone else is already occupied." Hinata already knew it was a mistake to come here. His self-loathe spewing mindlessly from his lips. At first, he felt bad for the pale male, but after a while is started to get under his skin, getting annoyed every time Komaeda explained how much of trash he was and how he was a stepping stone for hope.
"Ah... I didn't expect less from you, Hinata-kun." Could the boy ever stop smiling, Hinata thought? Getting annoyed by everything Komaeda did, he decided to cast his gaze down to the glossy papers below him. He grabbed 2 paperback books, around 30 pages each and 3 pamphlets. The pamphlets, Hinata noted, explained some of the sightseeing that could be done on Jabberwock island, including maps and information about its facilities.
How boring, he thought as he brushed those off, grabbing a book about ships instead. Hinata liked ships, but not being much of a reader himself he was glad the book contained plenty of pictures and an easy font to read.
They sat in silence for a little, Komaeda went back to his book once Hinata stopped answering the boy. They sat there for a couple of minutes, Hinata quickly losing interest in the column that was 'mechanics of watercraft engines'. He didn't care about the technology, he thought as he looked over one of the pictures of a black cargo ship. Eyes meeting Komaeda, who was sitting in front of him, intently reading the heavy book in front of him. Hinata was kind of envious how concentrated Komaeda was when it came to books. Closing the paperback, Hinata decided that his ultimate talent wasn't reading.
"What are you reading?" Hinata asked carefully. He didn't want to disturb the other from his book, but he was getting quite bored, deciding he rather talk to the other male than staring off into the distance.
All Komaeda did was lift the heavy book, showing the plain front of it to Hinata, eyes not leaving the sentence he was reading. The book looked boring, not a single picture on the cover, only a few tiny, black words. Hinata had to squint to read what it said 'The Neuroscience of Sex'. Hinata deadpanned, he wasn't sure if he read that right. The first couple of words sounding overly complicated while the last, well, let's say it felt like the word fell out of place.
Finishing the sentence he was reading, Komaeda shows him the book in more detail. The pages plainly white only covered with an endless sea of black words. It looked, extremely boring as he let his eyes fell over a sentence. It was talking about some hormones and whatnot. Hinata expected the book to be a little more risqué with that kind of title, but the complicated words were staring back at him, mocking.
Not the super high-school level neuroscientist either, he thought.
"It seems…" Hinata tried his best to word it as nicely as possible, "boring." Komaeda laughed at this, explaining how it was actually quite interesting. Hinata snickered a 'pervert' at him as he was trying to piece together was the sentences meant.
Seeing the confusion in the other's eyes, Komaeda took a deep breath before simplifying the sentences in the book in front of him. Words like oxytocin, prolactin and dopamine were thrown at Hinata in solid sentences, Komaeda barely pausing to breathe before starting a new sentence again. The white haired male just laughed at the empty expression he received. "Let's say it like this, then… Oxytocin is a love hormone, dopamine is a pleasure hormone and prolactin is the hormone that's responsible for developing breast milk."
One of those was not like the other ones, Hinata thought. About to ask what the last hormone was doing in that list, Komaeda opened his mouth again, not missing a beat. "Studies have shown that prolactin is one of the main hormones involved in the males' sex drive." Hinata hummed, nodding at the simple explanation. "In females, the hormone oxytocin is mainly released after orgasm, while males get more dopamine after climaxing."
Hinata snickered, thinking about how scientists had to find participants who were willing to have sex in front of them so they could monitor them. At least, that's what he assumed. He wondered if there was actual intercourse involved in these experiments. He asked Komaeda and he got another swift reply about hormone levels are significantly different when comparing sex and masturbation.
"Apparently, having intercourse will release four times as much of the hormone prolactin than with masturbation." It was fun to see the gray eyes shine in curiosity as he read the words. Silently taking in what he had said, as if deep in thought. "So, does that mean sex is four times as good as masturbation?" The question was more directed to the book than Hinata as if he could get an answer on something so personal if he asked it nice enough to it.
He asked it as if he had never experienced before, and before Hinata could stop himself, the question left his lips. "You're still a virgin?" He mentally hit himself on the head, realizing that it might have been a little too rude to ask. Then again, Komaeda doesn't seem to have the word 'boundaries' in his dictionary. Hinata will be fine.
Strands of white bouncing as he cocked his head to the side, pointing a finger at himself as if he was unsure the question was directed at him. Only answering the question when Hinata gave him a nod that, yes, he asked him. "Of course I am." He said as if it was the most sensical thing in the entire world. "I'm not worthy of someone's touch, you see." The gentle smile contradicting the harsh words leaving his lips.
"how about Hinata-kun?" The boy interferes before Hajime could scold him for his self-loath once again. "No." Was the simple answer. Hinata didn't plan on giving him information on his sex life, so he kept his answer as short as possible, hoping the latter would get the hint.
Instead, Komaeda's eyes lit up in awe, as if the boy in front him just told him he climbed the mount Everett or something. Looking genuinely impressed by the fact that Hajime wasn't a virgin. It was weird, to say the least, he thought as he shot up a defensive pose, trying to show him that really wasn't as big of an achievement the other made it be.
"But, it didn't feel as good as the book described." Hinata stammered. He always felt smothered by the compliments he received from the other, wishing he could just recognize a flaw in him so he wouldn't worship him as much.
Breathing a soft 'Oh', Komaeda turned some of the pages in his book, scanning the words quickly. "Well, it is stated that the subjects who didn't feel an emotional connection to their bed partners, and the ones who were not sexually attracted to their significant other had a significantly lower release of dopamine than the subject who did fulfill those needs."
Thinking back, His girlfriend was gentle and sweet. He remembered having a crush on her for a couple of months before finally gathering the courage to ask her out. So, there was definitely an emotional bond between them, right? "There was a connection of some sort, no doubt in that" He mumbled to himself, loud enough for Komaeda to hear.
Thinking about her appearance, he started to describe her to Nagito who was patiently listening to his every word. While her body type fell over his lips, he started to doubt himself a little. She was as much gorgeous as she was sexy, Narrow waist, a solid C cup, childbearing hips on top of long, slim legs. But even though he seemed to explain the perfect body type to the male in front of him, no sexual attraction was being felt by Hinata.
After he finished his explanation, Komaeda suddenly burst out "She sounds like a bombshell!" A small giggle leaving his lips, laughing at his joke, or whatever it was. Hinata thought back to his relationship with said bombshell. They barely had intercourse in the months they had a relationship, and Hinata remembered rather jerking himself off that having sex with her. Not because it didn't feel good, but masturbating felt just as nice, and then at least he didn't have to worry about the other girl's needs. "Maybe she just wasn't my type."
The conclusion started the both of them to brainstorm what Hinata's type did was. Komaeda happily helping his self-proclaimed friend by voicing some of the body types of the woman on the island. Names rolling out of the white haired male as he gave a brief explanation of their body type 'Tsumiki, petite but curvy' Hinata nodded a no. 'Owari, athletic and busty' another nod. Mioda, Nanami, and miss Sonia were voiced questionably. Hinata sighed. It's not like his classmates weren't attractive, contrary, actually. They all were near perfect, like a harem of different type for Hinata to choose from.
After all the girls were mentioned, Hinata hung his head low. Was he that hard to please? Was he that picky?
Suddenly, he saw Komaeda's eyes lit up in recognition as if he solved the Othello puzzle or something. He pointed his fingers up to nowhere, snapping the digits as he smiling widely at Hinata. He had to admit, Hajime was clinging to his words. Komaeda might be a pain in the ass sometimes, all the time, but he sure was smart. He wanted to know what his conclusion was, holding his breath so he wouldn't miss a beat as Komaeda's lips started moving.
"Maybe we're looking at the wrong gender."
Hinata's face drew a blank as he looked at the beaming boy in front of him. Softly taking a slow breath again as to register the other's words. "…What?" He was sure by now that he heard him wrong, but after letting the sentence sink in word for word, it finally clicked.
Did Komaeda just accuse him of being gay?
He jumped on his chair, nearly falling off from it. "Of course I'm not fucking gay!" he nearly shouted at the other. Realizing his temper, he lowered his voice and sat back down again. Komaeda pulled his hands up in defense, throwing an apologetic look at the other. Much softer now, Hinata finished his train of thought "What even made you think that?" He puffed, clearly displeased with the others answer. Komaeda had to be pulling his leg.
"Well… I kind of recognize your situation." Gray eyes blanking, a pause before continuing his explanation. "Not that trash like me could ever be compared so someone as wonderful as Hinata-kun, of course. That would be preposterous!" The words leaving his mouth so quickly, Hinata barely understood what they meant. After having too long of a silence, he sighed, urging Komaeda to go on. "But, well" The pale lips opening uncertain again, carefully finishing what he meant to say. "I… I Remember being confused about not being attracted to woman as well-"
Komaeda trailed off, all the enthusiasm he had before trailed off in shame and shyness. He didn't need him to finish his sentence anymore, Hinata knew fully well what he was talking about. He had theorized about his classmates' sexuality when I was bored, and Komaeda didn't come off as fully straight to him. It was nice to see his gay-dar working correctly, but he honestly couldn't care less about the other boy's preferences. That's what he said to himself, that is.
Hinata puffed, propping his hand under his chin to support his weight on. His eyes roaming the vast library, scanning some of the colorful books lazily. "Maybe I'm asexual." He mouthed to himself, sighing. Wasn't that a depressing conclusion, he thought while setting his gaze on a particularly thick green book in one of the many bookshelves.
"Hmm…" Hinata didn't even care to look the other in the eye while he was about to make another one of conclusions. He got embarrassed enough by his straightforward statements today. "Do you masturbate regularly?" The question leaving his lips smoothly, as if it was a question about something as irrelevant as the weather, smile gently dusting his face.
The arm under Hinata gave out at hearing those words, and, with the loss of the support, his face smacked against the table with a loud thud. His head jerking up, raising fast enough to temporary see stars dance in front of his eyes. "…WHAT!?" Hinata was stammering over the words that forcefully left him. What kind of question was that?
"You see… In some cases of asexuality, you do not feel the need to condone in any sexual activity. therefore you will not feel the need to pleasure yourself frequently" He gazed off into nothingness, thinking deeply. "Then again, there are multiple spectrums within this subject, so it's hard to say."
When the analyzing words slowly sunk in, feeling heat rise to his cheeks, Hinata had to admit that Komaeda did have a point, he thinks. He answered the question in his head because he sure as hell wasn't going to admit to Komaeda that, yes, he did masturbate, and, yes, he did masturbate quite frequently.
Sighing, he leaned against his palm again, looking empty at the male in front of him. Back to square one, it is.
Komaeda tapped his finger against his lip, vocalizing his thoughts. "So… You're not particularly attracted to women, and definitely not attracted to men." Hinata snorted, he never said he wasn't attracted to men, but he was still glad Komaeda had the decency to pick up on his body language to reach that conclusion anyway. "And, I think it's safe to say that you're not asexual." He finished his sentence, humming at the words as if he was trying to solve a hard math problem.
Hinata ignored the boy in front of him, showing that this conversation was over. As silence fell over the two of them, Komaeda went back to his book as Hinata let his mind wander, letting his eyes stare at nothing in particular while playing with one of the pamphlets underneath him.