Love me or let me go

By; InfectedTeddy

I do not own Fairy Tail or any of the characters in this story, they are owned by the lovely Hiro Mashima, any ways, enjoy and don't forget to review.

He watched her smiling across the table, the way her hazel eyes shone gold in the sun was mesmerising and oh that smile… he swore it had the ability to make flowers grow. She had a laugh that sounded like bells and her cheeks always turned the slightest shade of pink when she giggled. Her hair was the colour of the bluest summer sky and she had skin so peachy, it almost glowed, she was beautiful, and smart, and amazing but she… wasn't his. The sudden sad thought made him scowl and look down at the cup in his hands, the golden liquid in it swirled around and he glared at it, his anger of what he couldn't have boiling. She was so close, within an arm's length away but she felt a million miles to far, they were poles apart and he was on the coldest side.

She watched him glare at his cup from across the table, his intense, ruby eyes shone like jewels in the light and his mouth was clenched tightly, she rarely ever saw him smile, he was always so cynical. He had an amazing smile, whenever she saw it, it made her heart skip a beat, it sounded so deep and it vibrated in his chest like the roar of thunder. His hair was obsidian, so black and smooth, like the feathers of a raven and he had skin so sun kissed he looked like a god. He was perfectly toned, every inch of him rippled with power and masculinity, making even a nun lick her lips at the sight of him. But he didn't want her, he ignored her and teased her, she was like a little sister more than a friend, it was slightly heart breaking. He was so close you lands apart, they were at different sides of the pole and she was on the warmest side while he stayed buried under the ice.

His eyes travelled upwards to see her searching his face, her eyes pleading for the love he yearned to give her but he didn't have the right, not after the damage he had done. He looked away quickly, finding something to keep his wandering eyes distracted from her beautiful, agonisingly sweet face.

Levy bit her lip, her heart sinking as he looked away but that moment, in that second of eye contact felt like they connected, like he wanted her just as much as she wanted him but ever encounter, every single speck of attention he gave her pushed him further away from her. It was like they were drifting out to sea on different boats, she used her ores to get to him but he let the tide sweep him further away. Her heart felt like it was breaking over and over, like she was fighting a losing battle with him. She sighed, picking up her books, she couldn't do it any more, she couldn't be around him, it hurt too much to try and be everything for him and getting nothing in return. Her eyes lingered on his face, hoping he'd turn and ask her to stay but he didn't even flinch as her chair scraped across the floor.

He swore the sound felt like nails on a chalk board, making him clench his teeth and bite his tongue, he wanted nothing more than to grab her by the hand and pull her close. Instead he slowly turned his head, watching her disappear through the doors as her lapdogs watched her too, both pining for her attention like puppies. He at least had the decency to know when he didn't have a chance but they were relentless, every no only drove them forward. Watching her leave was like watching someone rip out his heart right in front of his eyes, every vein snapping and stinging in his chest. He tightened his hold on the cup, hoping that it would keep him from running after her; the wood began to groan under his fingers, his knuckles going white until there was a snap. His red eyes looked down to see the gold liquid pooling from the cracks in the cup until it was dripping over his fingers and on to the table, making him curse angrily.

"Gajeel… you can't keep this up…" he heard the low voice say and he looked up to see salamander stood there with his mate… well the woman he didn't understand was his mate but he knew better. Gajeel growled and looked away, what would he know? He was completely ignorant to his own mate.

"Shut it… you don't understand!" Gajeel growled angrily as he glared at the wall, his eyes going over every fine crack from the endless fights and he listened to Natsu pull up a chair, the pink haired mage sighing in defeat.

"Look, buddy, I know you're think your protecting her but you're hurting her more than you're doing good…" he said and Gajeel huffed, he doubted he could have hurt her more than he already had.

"Salamander, this is nothing to do with you, keep your nose out of my business!" Gajeel snapped and the fire dragon slayer glared at him as the iron dragon slayer scowled back.

"She is one of my closest friends, it's everything to do with me when you're upsetting her, she's fragile okay, and you can't treat her like this!" Natsu exclaimed and Gajeel roared angrily as he stood up abruptly, almost knocking over the table.

"You think I want to upset her? I don't okay but I can't have her, I don't deserve her, I hurt her… I hurt my mate, can you understand that? Can you get that through your thick fucking skull? I. Hurt. My. Mate… I tore away her spirit and I bruised her, I beat her and now… I can't bear to touch her… not with these hands… not after what I've done…!" He growled his voice dying down as he said the words out loud, for everyone to hear him and he looked around, in to their eyes, in to those eyes filled with so much pity, the pity he didn't want.

"And you've done so much to make up for that, you saved her from Laxus, you saved the guild more than once, you saved her against the goons from Grimoire Hearts and yet you still feel like it ain't enough, why? Why do you keep dragging it out?!" Natsu yelled angrily at him and he searched his fellow dragon slayers eyes, the things he'd done couldn't outweigh his sin though.

"Just… piss off Natsu; I don't have to explain myself to you…!" Gajeel snarled angrily, baring his fangs as he walked around the table, towards the doors.

"You don't have to explain to me… but one day… you'll have to tell her why you insisted on breaking her heart… and that day will hurt more than whatever you're going through now…" Natsu said and Gajeel scoffed in denial as he walked out of the door. The cool, autumn air helped his head a little as he began walking, not fully knowing where he was going but knowing that he needed to move, to clear his head, sooth his heart, ebb the aching inside.

She sat under the large tree, the tree that held so many scary and wonderful memories, the day she met the man she fell in love with. The first time they met… he was so full of hatred, of darkness she was sure he was something out of a nightmare but slowly, the shadows fell away and he became so much more than that man. Every day he grew brighter, burning hotter than the sun and he was one of the sweetest men she had ever met but he still lingered in the shadows, only accepting what he thought he deserved. She couldn't even concentrate on her book, every word melded into his name; every glimmer looked like the studs his skin was decorated with. It was making her go insane, she just wanted him, she wanted every single part of him, mind body and soul, it was agonising. She huffed with a sigh and closed her book, holding it to her chest as she closed her eyes, her chin resting on the top of the book as she took a deep breath. That's when she heard the heavy footsteps, the ones she knew all too well and she gasped as she scampered up; pressing against the tree as if it could hide her. She listened, waiting for him to walk around the tree but he didn't and she heard him slump against the bark, sliding down it with a grunt. There was a sigh and she slid down the tree, careful not to make a sound as she sat and bit her lip, knowing he was so close made her heart race as she closed her eyes again, relaxing in his unaware presence.

"This is so fucking stupid… why can't he just keep his mouth shut… stupid salamander… what does he know about love!?" He growled to no one in particular as he stared up into the green leaves, his arm on one of his knees as the other was laid straight and he ripped up the grass. "If I could just… grow a pair… if I could take back everything I've done then maybe… maybe I'd have a chance…" he said to himself as he closed his eyes. "God… please for fuck sake make it stop… it hurts so much to not be able to love her… not be able to give her every ounce of the love she deserves…!" He begged, his heart felt like every beat cracked a rib, it felt like it was in his throat and he gulped back the tears. "This… this is so stupid… Levy deserves so much more than me…!" He grunted bitterly, opening his eyes as he ripped away a flower and crushed it in his hands before laying it delicately against the green floor.

Levy's eyes snapped open when she heard her name, she knew who he was talking about but when he said her name it felt like she was being shot with a lightning bolt and she dropped her book. Slowly, carefully, she walked around the tree, so he would only see her at the last second and when he did, he was like a dear caught in the headlights of a truck.

"Gajeel… I… I want to talk to you…" she said and he stood, up dusting himself off as he gulped, oh god he hoped she hadn't heard what he had just said but he knew she had.

"Wh… what do you want… shrimp?!" He stuttered in surprise and she smiled, he looked so flustered it was sort of cute.

"I know… you feel like… you're keeping me safe by not having me by your side… but I… I can't do this any more… I can't stand on the side lines and love you from afar… I need you to love me back… I need you to say that to me…" she said confidently and he felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach as his cheeks deepened in colour.

"Wh-what are you talking about… of course… I…" he stopped and her heart sank, she felt the tears tugging at her eyes and she pushed them back as he stared into her eyes. All of a sudden it was like something snapped and he fell to his knees, making her let out a little yelp of shock. "Oh for fuck sake… why?" he paused. "Why do you make it so hard to stay away, I don't want to hurt you again and I don't ever want to break your heart but… !" He growled, punching the ground in anger and she jumped back, making him look at her in pain and she knelt down to be his size at that point.

"Gajeel… I don't care what you did, I don't care what you've done… that was then and this is now and I need to know… I need to know you love me, if not then let me go because I can't do this… its breaking me!" She whimpered tears fell from her golden eyes and he felt his own eyes well up; he wanted to let her go, to let her find happiness.

"I can't… I can't let you go and I can't love you because I don't deserve it… I don't deserve any of it…!" He sobbed and cupped her cheek, feeling the warmth it held and he didn't want to let go.

"Gajeel… please… stop it… can't you see it hurts too much, you have to make a choice love me or let me go… please!" She begged, her heart slowly crunching in her chest as she stared up at him through soaked golden eyes.

"Then let go of me… I'm not holding you here… you need to find someone who will love you and never ever hurt you!" He said, getting more and more frustrated as she shook her head.

"I don't want to let go… I want to love you but you won't let me… you accepting all of this pain as if it's okay and it isn't… you don't need it any more… you need someone and I need you!" She sniffled and she watched as his jaw tensed and she bit her lip, trying to stop the tears.

"But you don't want me… I'm not a good person to love… for fuck sake I crucified you to this fucking tree!" He yelled but she didn't flinch, which surprised him and he watched her stand up, she looked hurt…. Angry and he didn't expect the blow until his cheek began to sting. Gajeel held his sore face, blinking in confusion as he looked up at her.

"Who gave you the right to tell me what I do and do not want?… what gave you the right to bring up the fact that yes, you hurt me but you made up for it ten times over, you saved my life at least three times and yet you still act like a bitter child!?" She snapped; her voice loud enough to shake the ground and he looked down at the floor in shame.

"I… I don't want you to feel like that but" he didn't get to finish as she placed her finger on his lips with a stern look.

"The only words I want to hear come from your lips is 'I love you, Levy'…" she said and he blinked up at her as she moved her finger away and he bit his lip. He didn't want to say it for a moment, he didn't feel like he should but she wanted to hear the words and he wanted to say them so badly.

"Fuck this, I love you Levy, I love you like the sun loves the moon, he dies every day just so she can shine, I love you so much I can't breathe unless I'm by your side…!" He exclaimed and she smiled brightly at him, her cheeks tinted red and she watched him grin.

"I love you too, Gajeel Redfox!" She said loudly and proudly as she took his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his, lightly and gently. His eyes went wide as hers closed and he made a surprised noise before he groaned lightly, wrapping his arm around her waist and kissing her back passionately.