Weekly One-Shot Challenges of 2010

Week 27

Theme: Kill Bill

Title:Like a Knife Through Butter

A/N: All characters from the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Ms Charlaine Harris.

A/N:Many, many thanks to ehee, the fabulous Beta who has worked this story over, pounding it into understandable shape.

Bill Compton was a sycophant. He loved being at Court, playing the games and mixing with the power people. He could suck up with the best of them, and though people were used to having him around, he was like the extra man at a dinner party, needed, but not particularly wanted.

After about thirty years, he started to get on the Queen's nerves. It made no difference to her that Bill was her child Andre's lover. She wanted a peaceful evening without seeing his pasty face and long sideburns surrounding his smarmy smile. Bill had only one thing that he was good at... procuring - finding sweet human treats for the court and luring them into a false sense of security. Convincing them that everything will be well if they would just accompany this stranger to an unknown location. Your mother warned you about men like this, but she didn't know about vampires and glamour.

Queen Sophie-Anne's current favorite was a human girl named Hadley. She was extraordinarily pretty, with a sweet smell that drew everyone to her. Hadley loved the Queen passionately, and was always in fear that someone would replace her in the Queen's affections.

So, like Scheherazade, Hadley told Sophie-Anne stories. And because she had never been anywhere outside her little town of Bon Temps, her stories always focused on her cousin, Sookie, who had a strange quirk, she could read minds. And she would speak out, no matter where she was. In church, the congregation found out that Mr. Willcox was sleeping with Mrs. Bradley, while her husband was out working; that Miss Wilmot took twenty dollars from petty cash every week to get her nails done, something she considered a frivolity, and so didn't want to pay for, even though she wanted it done; and that the minister was secretly in love with his pretty secretary, Mrs. Herveaux.

People started avoiding Sookie. Hadley and Jason, Sookie's brother, wanting to be popular, started to avoid her too.

Sookie grew up lonely and with a big complex about her strange ability. She thought there might be some use for this weird addition to her brain, but she wasn't sure what it could be. So far, it had only caused her pain.

After Sookie and Jason's parents died in a flash flood, they went to live with their Gran. Gran loved Sookie best, and it was because of this unconditional love that Sookie started to feel better about herself, and to start controlling her gift.

Gran helped her to practice, and together they thought that she could work in law enforcement with her gift, helping to find and catch crooks. Unfortunately, local law enforcement was hideously unimaginative, and turned her down, so she joined a private detective agency in Shreveport, the nearest large city. It meant an hour's commute when she had to go into the office, but 6 years later, Sookie was one of their best investigators, and only had to make that trip once or twice per week.Otherwise, she worked from the home she still shared with her Gran.

Only her boss, Sam Merlotte, knew of her quirk, and that she used it in investigations. He thought he was very lucky to have Sookie working for him. When she worked a case it was always solved, and payments came in regularly. He was even thinking of making her a partner, to keep her with him.

Her current case was that of a young woman who had disappeared from a local nightclub. The parents were frantic, and the police were at a dead end. The police hadn't noticed that within the state young women had been disappearing regularly. But Sookie paid more attention, because it could affect her.

At 24, Sookie Stackhouse was beautiful woman. Her hair was long and blond, her eyes a blue that turned stormy when she was angry, and her figure that reminded older people of Marilyn Monroe, and young men of how close they were to their bedrooms. She was a virgin, because she couldn't date. The curse of hearing everyone's thoughts, including all those young men's, kept her out of the dating pool, and she thought it might be a good thing. She didn't want children who felt as distraught as she did her entire life.

Hadley's stories had borne fruit. Sophie-Anne became interested in her cousin and, in order to remove him from the court, sent Bill Compton to procure her for the Queen's her collection. Sophie-Anne thought a telepath would give her an edge in negotiations, plus winnowing out dangers among the humans that vampires hired to help them during the day.

Bill Compton hated the idea that he had to go to Bum Fuck, Louisiana to procure a certain female human for the queen. To him, any blood bag would do. The sheriff of the area could do it just as well, and he wouldn't have to leave his elegant nest for the boonies. But, he looked like a Southern gentleman, Sookie's favorite book was Gone With The Wind,and Bill had fought in the Civil War, on the Confederate side, of course - so it seemed destined to be a problem-free assignment.

It was serendipitous that Sookie lived next door to Bill's family home. He moved back to the shitty little town that he had left 150 years ago, when he went off to war, and worked up a plot to obtain Sookie and bring her back to the Queen, so he could rejoin Andre in their Louis XV apartment in the palace.

He was required by vampire law to check in with the local sheriff. Bill thought he would enjoy that. Eric Northman was renowned as a swordsman and lover. He was said to bed both women and men, and Bill was eager to test out the rumors.

So, like the sycophant he was, he showed up at Fangtasia, Eric's bar, the night after he moved into his house. He was dressed in his preferred neat clothing of pressed khakis and a button down shirt. Bill was born 100 years too early, but he was a Yuppie.

Eric was born 1,000 years too early not to recognize Bill's type of vampire. He had no interest in bedding men, only doing it when needed. He was a lover of women. He loved the way they smelled and tasted, how their skin felt under his hands. He loved the feel of them when surrounding his cock, and he slid in and out of their pussies until they both came. He was a generous lover, even to the fangbangers who frequented Fangtasia. Added to his looks; 6'5", blond with sea blue eyes, a strong jaw, aristocratic nose, and kissable lips, Northman was everything that was said about him, a Viking Sex God.

Bill strode confidently into Fangtasia. He couldn't believe that he was not as valued everywhere as he was in the Queen's court. He walked up to Eric, who was sitting on a dais, in a large comfortable chair, to introduce himself. Eric knew who he was, just not what he was doing in his area. Because Bill wanted information, he was polite, and bowed a little bit too deeply.

"Bill, what brings you to Area 5?" Eric questioned the lower caste vampire.

"The Queen has sent me on a mission here. So I thought I would check in with you."

"Is it something I can help you with? Or can you take care of it yourself?"

"I think I can take care of it myself. Do you know Hadley, the Queen's pet?" Eric nodded. "The Queen wants her cousin to join her at court; she wants a matched set." Bill hadn't been told that Sookie was a telepath.

"Since you are the Queen's procurer, that should be easy for you," Eric almost sneered. Procuring wasn't a job for a real man. "You've had a lot of practice attracting young women and men to court."

"Yes. I don't anticipate any problems." Bill was blind to the contempt in Eric's voice. "I'll meet her, glamour her, and take her to New Orleans. I hope to be leaving in three days. I don't want to spend any more time than necessary in Bon Temps."

"What is her name, Compton, perhaps I know of her?"

"It's Sookie Stackhouse. She lives by the old cemetery across from my old home."

"How convenient for you. Well, give me a call when you leave, Compton. And let me know if you find anything interesting in Bon Temps."

"Except for this one human, I don't expect to find anything of interest there."

Eric nodded again, and dismissed Bill. He looked around his club and saw who he wanted to speak to next. Using his mind, he called his child to come to him.

Pam finished her sentence, and turned to go to her maker. She was as petite and beautiful as he was big and handsome. Pam had an independent spirit that would have been crushed in 18th century England. As a vampire, she was free to live and love as she wished. She delighted in being Vampire and was thankful to her maker for choosing her. In the early days they had enjoyed sex together, but since she had matured, she preferred women. Some nights they played a game to see which of them a certain woman would choose. Since there were more straight women in the world than lesbians, Eric usually won. Pam dreamt of finding a sorority house full of lesbians so she could win more often.

She walked up the dais and leaned over the back of his throne (for that's what it was). "Yes, Master, you called," she purred.

"Yes, Pam. Compton is here on a mission for the Queen. He's to bring to court a female who is cousin to Hadley. I want you to go to Bon Temps, and see what you can find out about this cousin. What is it that would make Sophie-Anne so interested in her? Bill may think Sophie-Anne just wants a matched set, but I know her better than that. The human's name is Sookie Stackhouse, and her home is out by the old Bon Temps Cemetery."

"Shall I leave now, Master?"

"Yes. Yes. You're off duty for the rest of tonight."

"Thank you, Eric, this sounds like a lot more fun."

"Hmmpf," is all that she heard from Eric as she flew out the door.

When Eric awoke the next night, there was a message from Pam on his phone saying that she would be late coming in to work, but she would have news when she arrived. So he went to Fangtasia, with nothing more important on his mind but than who he'd chose for his next meal.

When Pam came in, they went back to his office to talk. She was full of news that she was excited to tell him.

"I started by going to the cemetery and looking over Bill's and the human's houses. Bill's house is an old wreck, I don't know how he could sleep there. The human's house is almost as bad. It's a farm house, and must be very old considering the number of extensions on it. I listened there, and it seems two people are living there - the Stackhouse female, and an old one, probably a grandmother. It's a very quiet and solitary spot.

"Then I went to Merlotte's, the bar also owned by her boss. She was hangin' out with friends. I thought there was something a bit strange about her, so I conversed with the locals. Everyone has a different idea of what's wrong with her. She's known as "Crazy Sookie" and never dates, despite being beautiful and sweet-smelling beyond belief.

"I found that one of the humans there was her brother, and his reputation is almost as large as yours," she smirked. "He is also beautiful, but hasn't the scent that his sister has. But he was very happy to go out to his truck with me for a quickie. Eric, the things I do for you! Sex with a man!"

"How was he, Pam?"

"Excellent, for a human. I'd volunteer for hardship pay, and do him again."

Eric laughed. "Sounds like you received your payment from the brother already. What did you find out from him?"

"His sister is a telepath!"

Eric sat up straight in his chair. "Are you sure? That would be amazing. I've heard of them, but in my 1,000 years, I have never met one."

"Yes, Eric. Apparently, she considered it a curse. That's why she never dated, and she's still a virgin! Can you imagine that? She must be the last American virgin! Soon to be extinct like the buffalo!"

"Why 'soon to be extinct'?"

"Because once you see her, you'll want to fight me for her! She's a prize!"

"Straight or gay?"

"No one knows. Not even her brother. She might be gay since she never dates. But it doesn't mean anything, because she can read minds and it drives her crazy to know what her dates are thinking of her. She tried dating in high school, and it didn't work out.

"She's 24, and working for Merlotte's Detective Agencyhere in Shreveport. She's one of their best operatives. I think her telepathy helps her find answers."

"Good work, Pam. I'll have Bobby call the detective agency tomorrow morning and request her help. We'll tell her we have money missing, and that we want her to inspect the human help."

"She won't believe us, Eric. She'll know we can glamour them into telling us. Everyone knows about glamour now."

"Shit. We'll tell her that we need her to infiltrate the Warriors of the Sun. If she's blond and blue-eyed, she'll look Aryan enough to fit in. Maybe we can get some new information about what they're planning, while co-opting her from the Queen."

"That's dangerous, Master. If she's really a telepath, she's valuable."

"Yes, well, we'll watch out for her. We don't want anything to happen to her."

"What about the Queen? I don't want anything happening to us either!"

"I'll take care of Sophie-Anne when the time comes, Pam. It will all be good. Now go out and check on the bar."

The next night, Sookie Stackhouse walked into Fangtasia wearing a grey pinstriped skirt and a crisp white shirt, with the top two buttons undone. Her jewelry was simple and white gold. Sookie thought that wearing the silver that she normally wore with this outfit would be insulting, and she still couldn't splurge on platinum. That was next. She carried her laptop, and her hair was up in a messy bun. The blonde belle didn't need a lot of make-up, and she didn't like it either, so she just darkened her lashes and used a tint on her lips. Sookie looked spectacular. This was her normal business wear, and she had no idea how hot she looked just trying to look professional. Sookie was every male's secretary fantasy. The click of vampire fangs lowering all over the club was a testament to her beauty.

Because this was business, she didn't wait on line, and there were angry murmurs as Pam brought her to Eric. When they saw each other from about half way across the club, it was as if spotlights shone on each of them solely for the other. If Sookie could float to him she would, and if he could race to her... he could! He moved with vampire speed right up to her. With anyone else, she would consider it invading her space; with Eric, he wasn't close enough.

Pam stood back and watched the two of them crackle with excitement. She was surprised. Her maker had never reacted like this before. It seemed as if there was an electrical current running between the two of them. They both looked stunned at first, then tried to act professionally.

"Miss Stackhouse, I'm Eric Northman. Thank you for coming outside of office hours." He reached his hand out to take hers, another first.

"I'm pleased to meet you, Mr. Northman. My hours are usually irregular, so it is no problem. Please call me Sookie." And she took his hand.

"I'd love to, Sookie. Call me Eric. Let's go to my office. We have a lot to talk about."

Without releasing her hand, Eric took her through the crowd to the hallway leading to his office. While he held open the door, he got a stronger whiff of her sweet scent as she walked past.

He was stunned. He had never reacted to anyone like this before. He wondered if she was a witch and had bespelled him, and he didn't care. Oh, oh, that was a problem. He had to care to stay safe. The vampires of his area depended on him to keep things running smoothly and securely, so he had better gather his wits about him, before he made a mistake.

"Here, sit on the couch with me while we talk," Eric said. "There are several topics I'd like to cover with you. 'Like this couch.' What did your boss tell you?"

"Only that you were worried about the Warriors of the Sun. Are there other problems that you are having?" 'Besides that erection?'

"There's something more important that's come up." 'Way up, and hard.'

"And what's that?" 'As if I couldn't see for myself?'

He took both of her small hands in his large ones. "Sookie, I know you are a telepath."

Sookie never thought this was very interesting and said, "So..."

"Have you no idea how valuable you could be to vampires?"

"Valuable? Why?"

"Because we depend on humans that we trust during the day to take care of our personal businesses. Plus, we depend on humans working in our businesses. If one of them is disloyal, it could mean our deaths.

"Sookie, tell me, can you hear my thoughts?"

"No. I like that, you know. It's so peaceful. I don't have to keep my shields up to block you out, so I can relax."

"Can you hear any of the other vampires in the club?"

Sookie listened. "No. I sense seven blank spots - voids - besides you. I assume those are vampire brains. No electrical impulses. But the only thoughts I'm receiving are from humans."

Eric sighed, "I'm glad. If you could hear us, you would be in even more danger than you are now."

"Why am I in danger? Aside from my profession, I live quietly with my Gran, and I'm home every night for dinner."

"That's going to end," Eric said smugly.

"Excuse me! What do you mean by that?" Sookie got huffy as she always did when someone tried to sap her independence.

Eric released his hands from hers and put them on each side of her face. "Because now you have me in your life." He leaned over and kissed her. Gently at first, feeling how soft her lips were as he touched them with his, then pushing only a little with his tongue to open them and let his enter.

Sookie didn't know what was happening to her. She had felt that electricity between them also, but she never expected to be kissed like this by a vampire, or anyone else. She thought she was doomed to be a spinster, always a bridesmaid. But here she was, being kissed by the most beautiful man she had ever seen. And she couldn't hear him! She was so happy, she threw herself into the kiss, forgetting her job, her professionalism, and everything else, but the firm, cool lips pressing on hers.

Her arms went around his neck, as she kissed him back. They pressed closer together. Then, as things started to ramp up, Eric pulled away.

"Sookie, we have a lot to talk about tonight. We can't be making love in my office. 'What did I call it?' Besides I want our first time to be special, not on a couch or over a desk." 'What the fuck?'

"I understand, Eric. 'Shit!' I don't know if I should even be kissing you, since we only met five minutes ago." 'How long do we have to wait?'

"I'll get us a drink and we'll talk. What would you like?" 'My blood?'

"Just a ginger ale, please. I have to drive home." 'Shit!'

A few minutes later, Pam walked in holding a warmed True Blood for Eric and a ginger ale for Sookie. Sookie was surprised, and she looked it. She hadn't seen Eric speak to anyone. Eric and Pam shared a smile, alarmingly alike, and Pam spoke to Sookie, "Eric is my maker, and we can communicate telepathically. But only the two of us."

"Pam, will you stay with us while I explain things to Sookie?"

"Of course, anything I can do to help, Master," Pam smirked, while Sookie looked alarmed.

"And cut that out! You know you only call me 'Master' in public!"

"But it got such a nice little reaction!" Pam said, still smirking.

"Sookie, have you had any contact with vampires before?" Eric asked her.

"No, Eric, until last night, I'd never even met one," Sookie replied.

"Who did you meet last night?" he asked grimly.

"A new neighbor. Really, an old one. William Compton. He was the owner of the adjacentproperty in the 19th century. His last descendent died recently, and he's come back to live on his land."

"What did he say or do, Sookie?"

"He was very polite. He looked like Rhett Butler." Eric looked blank. "You know, Clark Gable, from Gone With The Wind. Very romantic. But strange."

"What do you mean, 'strange'?"

"He kept staring at me, and I'd feel something like pressure in my head, then he would frown, and it would stop. That happened 3 or 4 times. When he left, he wasn't as smiley as he was when he arrived. He also asked if he could call on me, and if I could show him the town."

"Sookie, look at me." Eric tried to glamour her with all the strength of a 1,000 year old vampire, and nothing happened.

"That's it, Eric. That's just what it felt like."

"Sookie, when you go home tonight, as soon as you walk in the door, I want you to say, 'William Compton, I rescind your invitation.' And don't ever let him in your home again. Remember to tell your Gran too."

"God, Eric, you look so serious. Why?"

"Because he is here to kidnap you for the Queen. He just found out that he can't glamour you, and it's thrown a wrench in his plans, so he'll have to make new ones. Since he has to be invited in, you will have rescinded his invitation so he can't enter, and you'll be safe at home, until I arrive."

Sookie looked shocked from the news. 'There exists a Vampire Queen who wants to kidnap me.' She giggled, and looked at Eric, "This is a joke, right? Did Jason put you up to it? I saw you with him last night, Pam. You put a hell of a smile on his face."

"Well, I was smiling, too, Sookie. But what Eric told you is the truth. Queen Sophie-Anne of Louisiana wants you to join her, and your cousin, Hadley, at her court in New Orleans." Pam covered all the pertinent information in one sentence.

"Hadley? My cousin, Hadley?" Sookie was starting to look worse.

"Yes, Sookie. That's how the Queen knows about you. Hadley is her favorite. They have been together for almost two years now," Pam continued. "Snap out of it, Sookie! This is your life we're talking about!"

Pam got up from her chair and said, "I'm going to get her a real drink, I think she needs it," and then left the room.She was back in minutes with a glass of brandy, and handed it to Sookie. Pam stood over her like a drill sergeant and ordered, "Take a big drink. You'll feel better."

Sookie took a mouthful of the brandy and swallowed, immediately coughing as it burned it's its way down to her stomach. Eric picked her up and placed her on his lap, rubbing her back as he whispered to her.

"Pam, I think Sookie has had enough shocks for tonight. I'm going to drive her home, and maybe talk with her grandmother."

"Fine, Eric. Look out for Compton. I'll take care of everything here. Goodnight, Sookie."

Sookie turned her head and stared at Pam. She still couldn't talk so she just nodded her head.

xxx

Sookie's car was a tan Toyota Camry. The car that blended in everywhere. There were so many on the road, that she was never noticed tailing someone. Eric gently put her in the front seat, and locked in her seat belt, then walked around the car to get into the driver's seat. He pushed it way back, set the stick into "Drive", and peeled out of the parking lot, like he was driving his Corvette. Sookie hung onto the door handle, and the surprise woke her from her stupor.

"Eric! What are you doing? We'll crash! You're going too fast!"

Eric turned to her and smiled. "You're not going to be a backseat driver, are you, lover?"

"For god's sake, look at the road! Not at me!" Sookie covered her eyes, curling into the seat. Suddenly she dropped her arms and her eyes popped open. "What did you call me? You have a nerve! I am not your 'lover'!"

Eric smiled at her. "You will be."

"Well, I never...!"

"I know, and it will be wonderful."

"How do you know?" Sookie's curiosity got the better of her indignation.

"I can smell it. There's a scent to innocence, and you have it. Just as when we were kissing, I could smell your arousal."

She decided to ignore the last remark. "That's like reading minds. Doesn't it bother you to have so many smells assaulting you? All those people in Fangtasia, they don't look very clean."

Eric snorted, "Many of them aren't. But I've learned to ignore the unpleasant scents, and focus on the good ones."

"Just as I learned to put up shields to control my telepathy."

"Yes. Very similar."

They smiled at each other and the rest of the tension in the car dissipated. They were both comfortable and were thinking of that kiss. Eric removed his hand from the wheel and took Sookie's in his. 'This is how it should be,' he thought, 'traveling together, companionably, holding hands... Is this me?' He looked over at Sookie, and decided, 'Yes, this is me, and her. Together.'

They reached Sookie's home before midnight. Eric stopped the car before they reached the cut off to her house. He rolled down the windows, listened and sniffed."Good, Bill is not loitering around your home. We are good for tonight. Let's talk with your grandmother."

Eric pulled the car around back, as instructed, and shut it off. "I miss the old cars with bench seats," he bitched.

Sookie laughed and got out of the car without waiting for him to open the door. But he got out and was at her side before she could close it.

"Lover, you'll have to learn to wait for me to take care of you."

"Oh, that's sweet, but I didn't know how long you were going to sit and moan about the 'good old days'."

"They weren't very good. In fact, none of them could match today."

Sookie's eyebrow shot up, "That's my bullshit meter, Eric. And you just scored high."

"Come, let's talk with your Gran, because if we stay out here, you'll get cold, and I'll have to warm you up... and there's no telling where that would lead to."

"I have a good idea, Viking, and it's not my virginal bedroom - upstairs on the right."

They walked up to the porch together, and as they reached the door, she turned and said, "Eric Northman, please come in. William Compton, your invitation is rescinded."

Sookie went to awaken her Gran and change out of her work clothes. The shoes especially were uncomfortable. When she was working, not meeting potential clients, she wore running shoes.

Sookie came downstairs wearing a baby t-shirt and cotton pajama pants. She had brushed out her hair, and washed her face. Eric thought that she was just as beautiful as before. She called to her Gran that they were waiting for her, and the elderly woman joined them in the kitchen.

"Sorry to have taken such a long time. I move more slowly now," she said as she reached out her hand. "Adele Stackhouse - I'm pleased to meet you."

"Eric Northman. The pleasure is mine." He grasped her hand and smiled.

"Gran," Sookie began. "Eric explained some things to me tonight. First of all, I rescinded Mr. Compton's invitation. Don't, under any circumstances, invite him into the house again."

"Why, Sookie? He seemed pleasant enough..."

"Eric, you had better tell her," Sookie said, wearily.

"Because, Mrs. Stackhouse, he's here to kidnap Sookie for the Queen of Louisiana."

If Sookie expected her grandmother to react with as much surprise as she herself did, she was wrong.

"So what should we do?" Adele asked.

Eyebrows, on both blonds, raised. "Gran, why aren't you surprised?

"My sweet Sookie, there are so many things out there that you don't know about. But just because you aren't aware of things, doesn't mean that I'm not."

"Gran!"

"Shush. We have to make plans."

Eric pulled himself together. This old lady was tough and smart. He wanted to know more about her, but now was not the time. "Mrs. Stackhouse, you have another granddaughter named Hadley?"

"Yes, I do. Mr. Northman, may I call you Eric? I would like you to call me Adele. She disappeared more than two years ago."

"Thank you, Adele. Hadley is the Queen's lover. They've been together for almost two years."

"Do you know her? Is she well?"

"Yes, we've met. She is doing very well. The Queen is very fond of her."

"Good. I thought she'd wind up doing tricks for drug money. This is certainly preferable."

"Yes, but she must have told the Queen about Sookie's gift. And now Queen Sophie-Anne wants Sookie. She sent Compton here to bring Sookie back with him to court. But it happens that Sookie can't be glamoured. And it looks like Compton didn't have a 'Plan B'," he smirked.

"And you always have a 'Plan B'?" Adele asked.

"Of course I do! Sometimes a 'C' and 'D' also." Eric was still smirking, but with more humor.

"I'll arrange for protection for Sookie. During the day it will be Weres, at night, vampires. Hopefully, I'll be with her most nights."

Sookie blushed. And Adele looked down her nose at Eric. "Perhaps you should return to calling me Mrs. Stackhouse."

"Gran, the most extraordinary thing happened when we met."

"Really? Do tell," she snapped.

Sookie couldn't stop herself from telling her Gran, "When we shook hands we both got electric shocks. It was like the electricity was running between us. And later when we kissed…" Gran raised her eyebrow. "…it was like coming home. It was like puzzle pieces fitting together."

"Mr. Northman, what do you have to say?" Gran was still menacing.

"Mrs. Stackhouse, I am 1,000 years old, and I never felt anything like it before. This is the first time I have thought of…bonding or marrying. I am as surprised as Sookie. If you know anything that might help us figure this out, I'd appreciate if you would tell me."

"Hmmpf!" was all Adele Stackhouse said for a good five minutes. "We'll talk again tomorrow night. Meanwhile, Sookie and I both need our rest, and you have to be home before dawn. Sookie, I think you should work from home the next few days."

"Yes, Gran. Come on Eric, I'll walk you out, and get my laptop from the car. How will you get home?"

"Wait at the door Sookie, and I'll bring it to you. You'll see in a minute, lover."

Eric zipped to the Camry and removed the laptop for Sookie. There was still no trace of Compton on the air, but he wanted to stay vigilant. He return to the doorway and gave Sookie a toe-curling kiss. "I'm afraid this problem will interrupt our plans, lover. But as soon as you are safe, I'll have your Gran calling me 'Eric' again," he whispered. "I'll see you tonight."

He backed away from Sookie, and, still smiling, he took off, straight up into the air. Sookie's mouth dropped open. "Cool!"

The next day passed quickly. Sookie called into her office to say she'd be working at home for the rest of the week. There was nothing unusual with this. She did some work. But mostly she sat and thought about Eric. How he looked, how big he was, and what it felt like when he kissed her.

'She was looking forward to Gran accepting him as her "boyfriend", though he was hardly a "boy". But there was no other word to fit. She didn't think that Gran would approve of "lover" or "paramour". "Swain", "gentleman caller", and "suitor" were too old-fashioned. "Partner", "escort", and "young man", didn't sound very warm hearted. Maybe he'd accept "sweetheart" ? "And this is Sookie's sweetheart, 'Eric'." No, he prefers "lover". They will just have to get married so she could call him her "husband". That would simplify things.'

'I just scared myself,' Sookie thought. 'I've never thought of getting married before. I didn't think it was possible.' She was ready to cry, because it seemed possible now. He had said it to Gran last night. Oh my!

About the time that the sun was going down, Sookie and Adele were fixing dinner. They worked well together, having years of practice. Tonight Sookie was making one of her specialities, fajitas, and Adele was helping. Right before finishing, Sookie realized that she had forgotten the cilantro, and she asked Gran to go to the garden to cut some for her. Gran was happy to help. It was her job today to be sous chef. Adele took her chef's knife, that she had been using since her wedding, out to the garden with her. The handle fit her hand, and she kept it well honed, knowing that a sharp knife was less dangerous than a dull one. She preferred using her knife to scissors, which was Sookie's more modern choice.

It was already twilight when Adele opened the screen door. Walking slowly to the back of her vegetable garden, Gran thought about how happy Sookie was, just since yesterday, and how content she would be to see Sookie settled with Eric. 'He sure was a big one,' Gran thought. If Vampires were the only men that Sookie couldn't hear, then a vampire would be her Sookie's husband. But she would make damn sure that her heart wouldn't be broken. She had some things to tell that Vamp when he came tonight.

Adele was just about to bend over to cut the cilantro, when she felt a whoosh of air behind her, and turned around. "Mr. Compton, you surprised me. It doesn't seem that dark yet, that you would be out."

"Good evening, Mrs. Stackhouse. The sun is behind the horizon,so I can freely move around. Is Sookie at home this evening? I would like your permission to call on her, and perhaps take her for a walk."

"Would you do me a favor, Mr. Compton? This knife is too dull to cut the cilantro, would you pull some out for me?"

"Of course, Mrs. Stackhouse. How much would you like?"

"Oh, those bunches there, and there."

Bill leaned over to pull out the cilantro for his neighbor. 'The old blood bag didn't even answer my question,' he thought.

That was his last thought. The knife hit Bill at the back of his neck, with all of Adele's weight behind it. Before he could even look surprised, before he realized that a human grandmother had killed him, the knife was all the way through and his head was removed from his body.

"It was all those fried chicken contests," Adele later explained to Sookie and Eric. "I know it's easier to get the knife through at the joint where there's only cartilage and not bone. The human neck is not much more difficult, you just have to angle the knife properly at the disc."

fin