Note to receptive readers: This is not for the weak of heart. I apoligise
sincerely for any content which offends any readers. This was complied a
long time ago and is in no way serious. Thank you.
Sonette ~~{@
Chapter 1- In the beginning...
Thayet had just been to town to have her hair styled. She thought she looked beautiful.
"Why did you waste good money on that atrocious hair style?! You could have asked the PALACE hairdressers!" screamed her husband Jonathan.
"I like it like this!" cried Thayet, "Don't you think I look nice too?"
"The PALACE hairdressers are better!" insisted Jon stubbornly. "Why Mithros did I marry you?! Alanna uses the PALACE hairdressers!"
"Alanna this, Alanna that!" bawled Thayet.
"She is my friend!" scowled Jon.
"Well, I am sure your dear FRIEND thinks otherwise!"
"What do you mean?" asked Jon, (he was very slow on the uptake).
"What I mean is what I said!" snapped Thayet.
"I'm going to find my FRIEND Alanna. Maybe she will know what you are talking about!" wept Jon.
"I am sure she will!" yelled Thayet after him.
***
"Hello Alanna!" smiled Jon.
"What do you want?" hissed Alanna, who was grooming Darkmoon, her horse, who attempted to eat Jonathan.
"Thayet was acting like a hag!" complained Jon.
"Good!" approved Alanna, "The plan is working!"
"Pardon?" asked Jon.
"Nothing!" snapped Alanna quickly, "George isn't here. He's on business."
"Ha ha!" cackled Jon.
"Pardon?" asked Alanna suspiciously.
"Nothing!" answered Jonathan.
"Hmmm. Where's the hag?" demanded Alanna.
"She's just left on holiday, and I have to look after the kiddies, and I don't know when she'll be back! Would you like to be mummy?" asked Jon.
"No!" snapped Alanna.
"Please?" begged Jon.
"Never!" replied Alanna.
"PLEASE?" pleaded Jon.
"Oh, all right then." Conceded Alanna, then, in an undertone, "My plan is working!"
"Pardon?"
"Nothing!"
"MY plan is working too!" glinted Jon.
"Pardon?"
"Nothing!"
***
Buri walked across the yard. Raoul followed her at what he thought was a discreet distance. Buri was getting rather irritated. She swore at him in K'mir, but Raoul understood.
"Now, now, my pet, don't get angry."
"Drat!" she said in Common.
"Now, now my little flower, I know how you feel about me!" Raoul simpered.
"Yeah?" asked Buri.
"Yes!" he nodded.
"Then you will understand that all I want you to do, IS GET BACK TO YOUR OLD SELF! Failing that, GET LOST!"
"Now, now puppet, don't hide your real feelings!"
"I'M NOT!" yelled Buri.
"Everyone knows that you care greatly for me, my goose!"
"THEN WHY DO I KEEP IT A SECRET FROM MYSELF!?!?!" Buri screamed.
"My strawberry, I do not know. Perhaps you should seek counselling."
"I'm going!" decided Buri, and flounced off. Raoul smirked, and followed.
***
There was a rap on the door. Daine, who was very weary, answered it, but her face lit up when she saw that it was Kaddar, who had come all the way from Carthak
"I was worried about Numair." lied Kaddar, stepping in.
"So am I!" cried Daine, "My poor hubby has had unicorn fever for the last three years!"
"It's terrible," agreed Kaddar, "but it's YOU that I'm really worried about.."
"Me? But I'm as fit as a.."
Then she fainted.
"Oh dear, I shall have to give her the kiss of life!" smirked Kaddar, and continued to do so. Daine awoke, and kissed him back.
***
"Oooh, Cytheria!" squealed Gary.
"Oh, Gary!" tittered Cytheria. "You look particularly big today darling, and you seem to have tugged that moustache to hide a smile today at least a thousand times!"
"Oh, ta, Cytheria! You look very beautiful today."
"I know!" giggled Cytheria, "And how is your father?"
"Near dead." Reported Gary happily, "Though Varice seems to be keeping him company.. Why didn't Numair marry her instead of that Verilidaine girl? He's mad!"
"Well, he is actually." Agreed Cytheria.
"True. But why didn't he marry VARICE?"
"Love. Oh, what a good joker I am! Love indeed!"
"What shall we do now?"
"GO SWIMMING!" screamed Cytheria.
"What a good idea!" exclaimed Gary, and they walked off together to go 'swimming'. However, Alanna was watching..
***
"Don't die, Duke Gareth, please! At least not until you've changed your will and left everything to me!" screamed Varice.
"No chance!" declared Duke Gareth, and went off to find the palace healers.
***
"In order for my plan to work, George and Thayet must be removed. Murder is too tricky, and the grieving widow part is too hard. If only I could make them romantically uninvolved.That is it! A romantic moonlit night, their paths shall cross. Thayet in an accident, swimming - she had never been a strong swimmer. George would rescue her. They would.get caught up in the moment. Romance would prevail." Alanna nodded-it was perfect.
Little did she know that Jon was planning the exact same thing.
***
It was dark and stormy. George was taking a moonlit walk. In pleasant words, George was a crook. He was wondering if he could get away with stealing Jon's horse..
Not far away, Thayet was riding in a carriage. She had tried making conversation with the driver, but he wasn't too talkative. As they neared a lake, the carriage stopped, the cab driver turned and punched Thayet! Thayet fell out of the carriage, and the driver, purple eyes glinting, jumped out and picked up Thayet.
"Time to 'drown' queenie!" Alanna hissed, and chucked Thayet in the lake!
Jon, who had just arrived, was amazed to see someone else carrying out his plan! He sighted George, and yelled, "There's a hag- I mean woman, drowning in the lake! Save her, quick!"
"Eh?" asked George.
Jonathan, impatient, shoved George in the lake too.
"'Ere!" began George feebly.
Jon climbed a tree to watch..
Alanna was amazed as well, to see someone carrying out her plan. She concealed herself in a bush to observe.
George sighted Thayet, and with strong strokes, swam over to her.
"Help!" screamed Thayet.
"'Ere, now, don't you worry, missus, I got you-Goddess! It's you, Thayet!"
exclaimed George.
"GEORGE!" cried Thayet, "Rescue me! It was the wicked cab driver!"
"Was the cab driver Roger?" asked George.
"No." answered Thayet, as they waded to the side, "It was not Roger, he is dead!"
"Oh, yeah." remembered George, "Now, you're fair soaked to the skin. Let's go to the Dancing Dove and get warm."
"Oh, yes! George- I'm cold."
"You can borrow me wet coat."
"Thank you! Jonathan would never let me borrow his wet coat!" sniffed Thayet.
Up the tree, Jonathan scowled, then smirked. Alanna grinned foolishly, then, as she observed George and Thayet kissing, rubbed her hands together in glee.
"THE PLAN IS WORKING!" screamed Jon and Alanna at the same time, then, "Pardon?", then, "NOTHING!"
As George and Thayet walked off in the direction of the Dancing Dove, Jon and Alanna snuck off in the direction of the palace, bumping in to each other.
"Oh! Fancy meeting you here!" Jonathan said in suprise.
"Same to you!" replied Alanna.
"Let's go back to the palace." Simpered Jon.
"My plan is working!" they both hissed, then, "Pardon?", then, "Nothing!"
***
"Blah, blah," gabbled Numair, who, wandering about in his night-gown, was going for one of his frequent midnight walks. However, Numair, being Numair, didn't say anything else.
***
While Numair was out on his midnight nature ramble, Daine and Kaddar were making use of the time. "Mmmm Daine." Muttered Kaddar.
"Tell me, why did this not happen a long time ago?" Daine queried.
"I have no idea." Kaddar answered in between kisses.
"Well, as long as we make up for lost time, it does not really matter." Daine explained.
***
Numair bumped in to Onua.
"Blah!" gabbled Numair, who was riding Cloud, whom he had kidnapped from the stable.
I do not like this, the pony reminded him.
"Why, Numair!" cried Onua, "I didn't know you liked horses!"
"Pony!" blabbered Numair.
Cloud kicked him off and ran off to find Darkmoon.
"Horsy love!" simpered Onua.
"Pony!" wailed Numair.
"I love the design on your nightie!" exclaimed Onua.
"Gown!" bawled Numair.
"Pink roses, how beautiful."
"CARNATIONS!" shouted Numair, flapping his arms about in the air.
"Is that nightie one of Daine's?" inquired Onua.
"DAINE?" repeated Numair foolishly.
"Your wife." reminded Onua gently.
Suddenly Numair ran off in the direction of the Dancing Dove. Onua, hiding a smirk, followed..
***
Jonathan and Alanna were drunk.
"Let's re-incarnate Roger's followers!" declared Jon.
"Good idea!" giggled Alanna, "And let's throw in Faithful and Thom for good measure!" she added.
"Hubble-bubble-blah!" exclaimed Jon, and suddenly Faithful, Thom, Alex, Josiane, and Ralon all appeared from thin air.
"Hello!" bawled Jon, "Nice to see you all!"
Alanna, who was slightly less drunk than Jon was, greeted her twin brother and cat cordially, then lapsed in to hysterics which Jon joined in.
"Sister," said Thom, "so who did you marry in the end?"
"JON!" screamed Alanna.
"You lie!" shrieked Thom, then went off to find Delia.
"FAITHFUL!" screamed Alanna.
Never mind that, Faithful said tartly, this romance trouble you've gotten yourself in to just will not do! To start with, you are drunk! I'll soon see to that!
Faithful cast a spell, and Jon and Alanna became sober again.
"Come!" hissed Alex to Josiane and Ralon, "We must free Delia while their backs are turned!"
Right, announced Faithful, I'm staying 'cos I've become the god of gifted house cats and soberness in cat lovers. I'm going to sort this mess out once and for all!
***
Thom found Delia in a cell.
"Hello, Delia!" he smirked,
"Shut up, Alanna!" hissed Delia.
"I'm not Alanna!" responded Thom in a hurt voice. He unlocked the cell, and kissed her. "Would Alanna do this?"
"Thom!" shrieked Delia, "Take me to Roger!"
"All right." Agreed Thom, and they were magiced away to the realms of the dead.
***
Now look what you've done! frowned Faithful, and sent the remainder of Roger's followers back to the realms of the dead.
"You spoilsport!" screamed Jon, "That was fun!"
"Never mind all that!" interrupted Alanna. "What about the romance side of things?!"
Oh that. Purred Faithful. That is easy. Who do you love?
"Him!" Alanna announced, pointing at the king.
Whom do you love?
Jon could understand Faithful. He pointed at the first woman he had ever loved, Alanna.
What is stopping you?
"Our spouses." They replied together.
Where are they?
"In a suspicious pub." Replied the king.
"Yes." agreed Alanna grasping more of what the cat meant, "Together."
What are they doing?
"Kissing!" answered Alanna.
"Each other!" Jon added indignantly.
Are you sure there is anything stopping you?
"No!" answered Alanna.
"Nothing!" put in Jon. They started walking towards each other.
Stop! Ordered Faithful. There is so little time! We must stop Thom returning with Roger and Delia.
***
"Don't run away, my sweet cabbage cabbage." Begged Raoul.
"URGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Buri. "Leave me alone!"
"Come my dear snake in the grass; you know you wish for something between us."
"Yeah, a lot of distance!" screamed Buri.
"How clever and witty my powdered dandelion!" Raoul simpered.
"PUSH OFF!" Buri shouted.
"Why say that my dancing pumpkin, when there is so much between us?"
"RAOUL!" wailed Buri, shaking him for punctuation. "I thought you were my friend, but I think you must have contracted Unicorn Fever! Have you gone mad?! You do not love me, I do not love you, we are merely friends." Buri said.
"Are you dillusional my lovely lamb chops?" Raoul inquired.
"WAARRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Buri wailed and ran off. Raoul smirked, and followed.
Chapter 1- In the beginning...
Thayet had just been to town to have her hair styled. She thought she looked beautiful.
"Why did you waste good money on that atrocious hair style?! You could have asked the PALACE hairdressers!" screamed her husband Jonathan.
"I like it like this!" cried Thayet, "Don't you think I look nice too?"
"The PALACE hairdressers are better!" insisted Jon stubbornly. "Why Mithros did I marry you?! Alanna uses the PALACE hairdressers!"
"Alanna this, Alanna that!" bawled Thayet.
"She is my friend!" scowled Jon.
"Well, I am sure your dear FRIEND thinks otherwise!"
"What do you mean?" asked Jon, (he was very slow on the uptake).
"What I mean is what I said!" snapped Thayet.
"I'm going to find my FRIEND Alanna. Maybe she will know what you are talking about!" wept Jon.
"I am sure she will!" yelled Thayet after him.
***
"Hello Alanna!" smiled Jon.
"What do you want?" hissed Alanna, who was grooming Darkmoon, her horse, who attempted to eat Jonathan.
"Thayet was acting like a hag!" complained Jon.
"Good!" approved Alanna, "The plan is working!"
"Pardon?" asked Jon.
"Nothing!" snapped Alanna quickly, "George isn't here. He's on business."
"Ha ha!" cackled Jon.
"Pardon?" asked Alanna suspiciously.
"Nothing!" answered Jonathan.
"Hmmm. Where's the hag?" demanded Alanna.
"She's just left on holiday, and I have to look after the kiddies, and I don't know when she'll be back! Would you like to be mummy?" asked Jon.
"No!" snapped Alanna.
"Please?" begged Jon.
"Never!" replied Alanna.
"PLEASE?" pleaded Jon.
"Oh, all right then." Conceded Alanna, then, in an undertone, "My plan is working!"
"Pardon?"
"Nothing!"
"MY plan is working too!" glinted Jon.
"Pardon?"
"Nothing!"
***
Buri walked across the yard. Raoul followed her at what he thought was a discreet distance. Buri was getting rather irritated. She swore at him in K'mir, but Raoul understood.
"Now, now, my pet, don't get angry."
"Drat!" she said in Common.
"Now, now my little flower, I know how you feel about me!" Raoul simpered.
"Yeah?" asked Buri.
"Yes!" he nodded.
"Then you will understand that all I want you to do, IS GET BACK TO YOUR OLD SELF! Failing that, GET LOST!"
"Now, now puppet, don't hide your real feelings!"
"I'M NOT!" yelled Buri.
"Everyone knows that you care greatly for me, my goose!"
"THEN WHY DO I KEEP IT A SECRET FROM MYSELF!?!?!" Buri screamed.
"My strawberry, I do not know. Perhaps you should seek counselling."
"I'm going!" decided Buri, and flounced off. Raoul smirked, and followed.
***
There was a rap on the door. Daine, who was very weary, answered it, but her face lit up when she saw that it was Kaddar, who had come all the way from Carthak
"I was worried about Numair." lied Kaddar, stepping in.
"So am I!" cried Daine, "My poor hubby has had unicorn fever for the last three years!"
"It's terrible," agreed Kaddar, "but it's YOU that I'm really worried about.."
"Me? But I'm as fit as a.."
Then she fainted.
"Oh dear, I shall have to give her the kiss of life!" smirked Kaddar, and continued to do so. Daine awoke, and kissed him back.
***
"Oooh, Cytheria!" squealed Gary.
"Oh, Gary!" tittered Cytheria. "You look particularly big today darling, and you seem to have tugged that moustache to hide a smile today at least a thousand times!"
"Oh, ta, Cytheria! You look very beautiful today."
"I know!" giggled Cytheria, "And how is your father?"
"Near dead." Reported Gary happily, "Though Varice seems to be keeping him company.. Why didn't Numair marry her instead of that Verilidaine girl? He's mad!"
"Well, he is actually." Agreed Cytheria.
"True. But why didn't he marry VARICE?"
"Love. Oh, what a good joker I am! Love indeed!"
"What shall we do now?"
"GO SWIMMING!" screamed Cytheria.
"What a good idea!" exclaimed Gary, and they walked off together to go 'swimming'. However, Alanna was watching..
***
"Don't die, Duke Gareth, please! At least not until you've changed your will and left everything to me!" screamed Varice.
"No chance!" declared Duke Gareth, and went off to find the palace healers.
***
"In order for my plan to work, George and Thayet must be removed. Murder is too tricky, and the grieving widow part is too hard. If only I could make them romantically uninvolved.That is it! A romantic moonlit night, their paths shall cross. Thayet in an accident, swimming - she had never been a strong swimmer. George would rescue her. They would.get caught up in the moment. Romance would prevail." Alanna nodded-it was perfect.
Little did she know that Jon was planning the exact same thing.
***
It was dark and stormy. George was taking a moonlit walk. In pleasant words, George was a crook. He was wondering if he could get away with stealing Jon's horse..
Not far away, Thayet was riding in a carriage. She had tried making conversation with the driver, but he wasn't too talkative. As they neared a lake, the carriage stopped, the cab driver turned and punched Thayet! Thayet fell out of the carriage, and the driver, purple eyes glinting, jumped out and picked up Thayet.
"Time to 'drown' queenie!" Alanna hissed, and chucked Thayet in the lake!
Jon, who had just arrived, was amazed to see someone else carrying out his plan! He sighted George, and yelled, "There's a hag- I mean woman, drowning in the lake! Save her, quick!"
"Eh?" asked George.
Jonathan, impatient, shoved George in the lake too.
"'Ere!" began George feebly.
Jon climbed a tree to watch..
Alanna was amazed as well, to see someone carrying out her plan. She concealed herself in a bush to observe.
George sighted Thayet, and with strong strokes, swam over to her.
"Help!" screamed Thayet.
"'Ere, now, don't you worry, missus, I got you-Goddess! It's you, Thayet!"
exclaimed George.
"GEORGE!" cried Thayet, "Rescue me! It was the wicked cab driver!"
"Was the cab driver Roger?" asked George.
"No." answered Thayet, as they waded to the side, "It was not Roger, he is dead!"
"Oh, yeah." remembered George, "Now, you're fair soaked to the skin. Let's go to the Dancing Dove and get warm."
"Oh, yes! George- I'm cold."
"You can borrow me wet coat."
"Thank you! Jonathan would never let me borrow his wet coat!" sniffed Thayet.
Up the tree, Jonathan scowled, then smirked. Alanna grinned foolishly, then, as she observed George and Thayet kissing, rubbed her hands together in glee.
"THE PLAN IS WORKING!" screamed Jon and Alanna at the same time, then, "Pardon?", then, "NOTHING!"
As George and Thayet walked off in the direction of the Dancing Dove, Jon and Alanna snuck off in the direction of the palace, bumping in to each other.
"Oh! Fancy meeting you here!" Jonathan said in suprise.
"Same to you!" replied Alanna.
"Let's go back to the palace." Simpered Jon.
"My plan is working!" they both hissed, then, "Pardon?", then, "Nothing!"
***
"Blah, blah," gabbled Numair, who, wandering about in his night-gown, was going for one of his frequent midnight walks. However, Numair, being Numair, didn't say anything else.
***
While Numair was out on his midnight nature ramble, Daine and Kaddar were making use of the time. "Mmmm Daine." Muttered Kaddar.
"Tell me, why did this not happen a long time ago?" Daine queried.
"I have no idea." Kaddar answered in between kisses.
"Well, as long as we make up for lost time, it does not really matter." Daine explained.
***
Numair bumped in to Onua.
"Blah!" gabbled Numair, who was riding Cloud, whom he had kidnapped from the stable.
I do not like this, the pony reminded him.
"Why, Numair!" cried Onua, "I didn't know you liked horses!"
"Pony!" blabbered Numair.
Cloud kicked him off and ran off to find Darkmoon.
"Horsy love!" simpered Onua.
"Pony!" wailed Numair.
"I love the design on your nightie!" exclaimed Onua.
"Gown!" bawled Numair.
"Pink roses, how beautiful."
"CARNATIONS!" shouted Numair, flapping his arms about in the air.
"Is that nightie one of Daine's?" inquired Onua.
"DAINE?" repeated Numair foolishly.
"Your wife." reminded Onua gently.
Suddenly Numair ran off in the direction of the Dancing Dove. Onua, hiding a smirk, followed..
***
Jonathan and Alanna were drunk.
"Let's re-incarnate Roger's followers!" declared Jon.
"Good idea!" giggled Alanna, "And let's throw in Faithful and Thom for good measure!" she added.
"Hubble-bubble-blah!" exclaimed Jon, and suddenly Faithful, Thom, Alex, Josiane, and Ralon all appeared from thin air.
"Hello!" bawled Jon, "Nice to see you all!"
Alanna, who was slightly less drunk than Jon was, greeted her twin brother and cat cordially, then lapsed in to hysterics which Jon joined in.
"Sister," said Thom, "so who did you marry in the end?"
"JON!" screamed Alanna.
"You lie!" shrieked Thom, then went off to find Delia.
"FAITHFUL!" screamed Alanna.
Never mind that, Faithful said tartly, this romance trouble you've gotten yourself in to just will not do! To start with, you are drunk! I'll soon see to that!
Faithful cast a spell, and Jon and Alanna became sober again.
"Come!" hissed Alex to Josiane and Ralon, "We must free Delia while their backs are turned!"
Right, announced Faithful, I'm staying 'cos I've become the god of gifted house cats and soberness in cat lovers. I'm going to sort this mess out once and for all!
***
Thom found Delia in a cell.
"Hello, Delia!" he smirked,
"Shut up, Alanna!" hissed Delia.
"I'm not Alanna!" responded Thom in a hurt voice. He unlocked the cell, and kissed her. "Would Alanna do this?"
"Thom!" shrieked Delia, "Take me to Roger!"
"All right." Agreed Thom, and they were magiced away to the realms of the dead.
***
Now look what you've done! frowned Faithful, and sent the remainder of Roger's followers back to the realms of the dead.
"You spoilsport!" screamed Jon, "That was fun!"
"Never mind all that!" interrupted Alanna. "What about the romance side of things?!"
Oh that. Purred Faithful. That is easy. Who do you love?
"Him!" Alanna announced, pointing at the king.
Whom do you love?
Jon could understand Faithful. He pointed at the first woman he had ever loved, Alanna.
What is stopping you?
"Our spouses." They replied together.
Where are they?
"In a suspicious pub." Replied the king.
"Yes." agreed Alanna grasping more of what the cat meant, "Together."
What are they doing?
"Kissing!" answered Alanna.
"Each other!" Jon added indignantly.
Are you sure there is anything stopping you?
"No!" answered Alanna.
"Nothing!" put in Jon. They started walking towards each other.
Stop! Ordered Faithful. There is so little time! We must stop Thom returning with Roger and Delia.
***
"Don't run away, my sweet cabbage cabbage." Begged Raoul.
"URGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Buri. "Leave me alone!"
"Come my dear snake in the grass; you know you wish for something between us."
"Yeah, a lot of distance!" screamed Buri.
"How clever and witty my powdered dandelion!" Raoul simpered.
"PUSH OFF!" Buri shouted.
"Why say that my dancing pumpkin, when there is so much between us?"
"RAOUL!" wailed Buri, shaking him for punctuation. "I thought you were my friend, but I think you must have contracted Unicorn Fever! Have you gone mad?! You do not love me, I do not love you, we are merely friends." Buri said.
"Are you dillusional my lovely lamb chops?" Raoul inquired.
"WAARRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Buri wailed and ran off. Raoul smirked, and followed.