Dangerously Bored

I was VERY bored one day and this idea came to me through my boredom! Enjoy=)

Disclaimer: of course I don't own twilight and of course I'm not Stephnie Meyer!

I'm bored. Bored out of my mind! Nothing in this house is interesting enough for me. Boredom is one feeling that makes me feel almost human. There is nothing to do! There's nothing but weak sport and junkie soap operas on TV. After chasing and 'playing' with 4 grizzlies I had gotten bored and come home. Another 10 minutes spent at home and I left again, started running full-pelt, through the forest. After getting half way to Greenland running had also become mind numbingly dull so I turned back.

Everyone else was busy. Rosalie was out with Alice shopping, Jasper was reading, Esme was working on colour schemes, Carlisle was at work and where else would Edward be but with Bella?

To be fair he was actually home, but so was Bella which meant all they were doing was sitting on the loveseat cuddling and talking softly. Don't get me wrong I love cuddling! I just like doing it more than watching it. Doing it, I'm a big fan of that…

In fact just last night Rose and I had enjoyed cuddling, of that's what you could call it, it was more like bringing the house down! Except we didn't actually bring it down.

I reminisced about it for a moment. Trying to think in detail. I was doping it on purpose, of course I was! Edward got so annoyed when I did this. One of his 'pet-peeves' were our thoughts about the evening activities we enjoyed. The one's he couldn't enjoy…

"Care to join me for a run Bella? Emmett's getting on my nerves." Edward's voice interrupted my thoughts. Bella looked confused as she stood up after Edward.

"Don't worry about it Bella. He's only being like this because he's jealous of what he's not getting." I said smiling.

She understood then and her cheeks went bright red. I laughed at her as the couple left, Edward throwing me a glare over his shoulder as he went.

My short lived entertainment had now left and I was back to being bored. I thought about what to do now and after making the decision between annoying Esme and annoying Jasper I set off to find Jasper.

He was standing at the window in his room. A thick book was open in his hands and he was perfectly still except his eyes which moved quickly down the page.

"Hey Jazz." I said as I went to sit on his bed. Jasper didn't look up.

"What is it Emmett?" his voice was weary but already bored. Disappointing.

"Aw don't take that tone with me man!" I said, trying to look appropriately hurt. He sighed and snapped the book shut.

"Please, Emmett, I'm not in the mood."

"Haha! Get it? Not in the mood!" I laughed. He rolled his eyes at me.

"'Cause you've never used that one before."

I felt my body fill with uninterest and a vicious need to leave.

"I know what you're doing, it's not gonna work Jazz ol' buddy!" He arched an eyebrow as the feeling became stronger." Fine." I mumbled as I stalked off, unable to stop myself "Damn empathy."

I stood in the doorway of Esme's room and watched her work for a moment. I didn't want to annoy Esme, mostly because she was to patient with me.

"Bored again?" she asked. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Yep." I replied as I plopped into the chair next to her.

I watched as she mixed and matched furniture on the touch screen computer. She was planning Edward and Bella's 'house', cubby-house more like it. But what she was doing gave me an idea. A wonderful, brilliant master mind of an idea…

I wandered into our room. Every piece of furniture set out perfectly to Rosalie's liking. Every chair leg positioned were she wanted it…I got to work right away.

*

Annoying people, and vampires, was my speciality. Call it my gift. As I stood back to admire my work I knew it was one of my best jokes yet.

Jasper peered in the doorway beside me.

"She's gonna kill you." He said cheerfully as he gave my shoulder a pat.

"Naw! She'll laugh. It's funny!"

"Sure…" he said doubtfully. Just then we heard the sound of a car turning up our drive, along with Alice's laughter and Rosalie's soft voice.

"Well, you're about to find out!" said Jazz with a slight smile as he sped off down the steps to meet Alice. I followed and sat myself down in front of the TV. I switched it on just as I heard the car door open.

"Are there any clothes left in Seattle?" I heard Jasper ask, as per traditional greeting.

"Jazz!" I heard Alice squeal.

Rosalie's footsteps hit the porch then and the front door opened.

"Hey babe! Have fun?" I said without turning around, I gave her a wave over my head.

"Yeah Em, I'll be right down ok?" she said as she headed up the steps.

I could see it all in my head as she did it. Rose would stand in our doorway for a moment, stunned at finding it empty. Her eyes would then travel to the window were, sitting on the bit of roof just outside our window, would be all the furniture in a perfect duplicate of our bedroom. Another moment of stunned silence and then:

"EMMETT, YOU JACKASS, GET HERE NOW!!!"

Shit.