// denotes mind speech or mind thought.
Obi-Wan is almost sixteen. I have no beta and I am not an English major, please forgive the errors. I do make them. Hope you can muddle through this one!!!
Obi-Wan stood in the middle of his almost empty room. It was the room he had since becoming Master Qui-Gon Jinn's apprentice almost three years ago. Obi was fast approaching his sixteenth birthday.
//It is not like I am leaving the temple, Master and I are only moving to a different apartment, a bigger one. //
Obi-Wan realized it was not the move that was upsetting him; it was the reason for the move.
The council had found Xanatos Crion worthy enough to finish his training, what little of it he had left. They had said it would not be more than six months before he would successfully reach knighthood.
//Fine and dandy!! But does he have to return to my master to finish his apprenticeship. He left on unfriendly terms with Master Qui-Gon and now he plans to just waltz back in and take his place beside my master.//
Crion was instrumental in squashing a coo against the government of Telos. After that, he was deemed worthy to finish his training.
While highly irregular, it had happened a couple of times before where a padawan who left the Jedi order was allowed to return. It was also highly irregular for a master to be allowed to have two apprentices, but of course Master Jinn, being who he was, was granted permission to take "Xani" back. The council reasoned he would not need the "tending too" that Obi-Wan did because of his young age.
//What really upsets me, maybe even more than Xanatos coming, is how happy and enthused Master seems about it. One would think that after having his former padawan draw a saber on him, Master Jinn would not be in such a hurry to have him back.//
With that thought Obi-Wan cringed with thoughts of his own past. It had been a little over two years ago he was guilty of doing the same thing as Xanatos, he drew his saber on Qui-Gon , which resulted in his probation as a padawan for a year.
//Master took me back so I suppose he could not do any less for Xanatos. Things will be all right. He will only be here six months or so, then everything can go back the way they wer//.
Could they? Would they be the same after Xanatos comes back to Qui-Gon?
The temple being a small closed society within itself, was not without its gossip mongers.
The gossip in the temple was that Obi-Wan was treated with much more strict Jedi training than Xanatos was. The opposite was true when "Xani was Master Jinn's apprentice. They not only had a close bond but emotionally their closeness mimicked one of father and son. It was said that Master and apprentice, Jinn and Crion could be seen walking down the halls in laughter of merriment, with Master Jinn's arm looped over "Xani's shoulders.
Obi-wan had never experienced such closeness with his master. Their bond though very strong also had a certain aloofness about it. Jinn and Kenobi did not share the camaraderie and close relationship that Jinn had when Crion was apprenticed to him.
Master Jinn was never cruel to Obi-Wan; In fact, he was a fair and just Master. Nevertheless, not only was he fair and just he was strict and demanding.
Deep down Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi was jealous of the closeness that his master and the former apprentice, Xanatos Crion shared. He wanted that closeness with his master, but settled instead for the typical master/apprentice relationship that was like almost all the others at the temple.
Qui-Gon insisted that Obi-Wan go to the transport landing to meet Xanatos with him
Xanatos knew that his former master now had an apprentice, but as yet he had not met Obi-Wan.
Little beads of sweat formed on Obi-Wan's forehead, his hands were clammy and his breathing labored. Those were just the few signs indicating how nervous Padawan Kenobi was at meeting Xanatos. To Obi-Wan, "Xani" was a rival that had to be dealt with head on. Although Xanatos would not be with he and Master Jinn for long, Obi-Wan feared that having Xani back would make Jinn realize how shallow and dull their shared bond was. Obi-Wan feared that Jinn would not want him after having spent 6 months with an apprentice that had brought so much joy into his life, whereas Obi-Wan had brought nothing but strife and tedious boredom in his master's life.
Qui-Gon's eyes lit up when he saw his former padawan. They greeted one another first with a hand shake and then a proverbial bear hug. It seemed that neither wanted to let go of the other.
Obi-Wan blushed with the intimacy at which they shared. Xanatos finally released his grip on Master Qui-Gon when he looked down at the boy who stood patiently beside them.
"So this is the one that replaced me. Hi Obi-Wan, I am Xanatos."
Xanatos extended his hand in a friendly gesture to the padawan and Obi-Wan shook it, still hesitant about this one.
"You know you could never be replaced "Xani"."
Maybe what his master had said was not meant to cut through the padawan like a knife, but it did. The words hurt Obi-Wan deep to the core, but he only bit his lip and tried to bear up to what Qui-Gon was saying and feeling about his padawan, Xanatos. He was clearly more pleased at having Xani back with him than he had ever been at having Obi-Wan Kenobi by his side. Jinn had never acted this way around Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan was almost shocked by such a show of emotions from his master. It actually embarrassed the young apprentice to see how his master was so out of control emotionally when he saw Xanatos again……….
The next week went about as it always did for Padawan Kenobi. His days were filled with classes in both saber training and academic studies.
The only thing different was that Obi-Wan did not see his master as much as he normally would while at the temple. Qui-Gon would frequently stop by Obi-Wan's saber training to give him words of encouragement. He sometimes would even have private lessons with Obi-Wan in saber training and his katas. This week there had been no time for Master Jinn to oversee Obi-Wan's training. He was busy with "Xani".
Then of course, Jinn would occasionally have mid-day meal with his apprentice in the main dining hall. That did not happen either. Master Jinn could be seen having mid-day meal with "his" Xani every day that week. They were always surrounded by young knights hoping to meet the mysteriously and famous apprentice. They had been Xani's crèche mates and had already gone on to be young knights. Xanatos loved to tell his story about overthrowing the coo in Telos. He was like a hero to the young knights. They could not understand why the council would not just let Xanatos become a knight. They thought his history in helping his people keep their government was trial enough for the Jedi council.
Jinn felt that way also but kept silent. The time he had with Xanatos again, was very precious to him. He did not want it taken away nor did he want to share it. That was where he was having the difficulty.
He was beginning to feel guilty about ignoring Obi-Wan so much. To try to compensate for that ignoring of him, Qui-Gon decided to do some saber training with Obi-Wan, but of course, he was going to include Xanatos.
Obi-Wan was at first happy about his master offering to practice a new kata with him that evening after last-meal. The disappointment of it came when his master explained that Xanatos would be coming with them while he and Obi-Wan practiced.
Padawan Kenobi valued their time together and this intrusion was met with silent opposition. Obi-Wan was afraid to voice his disappointment at having Xanatos accompany them. He was afraid that his master would think him jealous and petty. Of course, that was exactly what the padawan was being.
That evening in the practice hall Padawan Kenobi seemed to have two left feet. That was not how he was normally. It just seemed with Xanatos around Obi-Wan could do nothing right. Even Master Jinn was short with him after is fifth unsuccessful attempt at the new kata.
"Maybe you should practice this one tomorrow and then we can review it again."
Qui-Gon did not want to tell one padawan how poorly he was doing in front of the other padawan. No one needed to tell Xanatos Obi-Wan was totally off in the maneuvering of this kata, you could see how badly the younger padawan was doing.
"Don't worry Obi. Everyone runs across a kata from time to time that they have trouble with. You will get it in a week or two."
Qui-Gon seemed upset with Obi-Wan. You might say he seemed almost ashamed at how poorly Obi-Wan had executed the kata.
"He doesn't have weeks Xani. If I am not mistaken Obi-Wan is to be tested on this particular kata in a few days. Am I correct Padawan?"
"Yes master."
Obi-Wan kept his head hung down so that his master would not see his flaming red cheeks over his embarrassment at having done so badly.
"Have you to studied at all on this Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan could here the curt sharp voice of his master, indicating he was not pleased with performance, but not willing to reprimand him in front of Xanatos. For that Obi-Wan was thankful, however he hated to disappoint his master. It was clear that Master Qui-Gon was not pleased.
"I have practiced. I could stay here and practice more."
Obi-Wan was anxious to improve and he wanted to continue working on he kata. He vowed to himself he would work all night if he had too, so that he could become better.
"No I think you should go meditate and then do you studies for tomorrow. I will try to find time to help you more tomorrow. I am afraid I will have to forego some of our training Xani. I have to deal with this situation now. I don't know what has gotten into the boy. He normally is quite good about doing his practicing."
Obi-Wan did not like being reprimanded in any manner in front of this apprentice that was almost God-like in his master's eyes.
In that split second Obi-Wan slammed his shields shut. He had no wish for his master to know what he was thinking.
//What am I now, a situation? Maybe if he had been working with me instead of "his" precious Xani over the last week, I wouldn't be behind in this kata.//
"That's alright master I will find something to do. Obi-Wan does seem to need your help. I wanted to visit with Master Windu. Maybe I will ask him if he has time for me tomorrow."
"Excellent idea. I think an evening with Obi-Wan and he will have improved greatly. At least we will have to hope so or he will behind his class and I would not be pleased with that at all."
The big master cast Obi-Wan such a glaring stare that it startled the apprentice. It was as if the master was almost daring the apprentice to fail this kata.
"Master may I go to the garden of the water fountain to meditate?"
"Yes, if you go straight home afterwards and study and then ready yourself for bed. Xani and I are going to have a cup of cha with some knights and other masters in the main hall. They never seem to tire of hearing of Xani's adventures. I myself, may have some questions for you Padawan Crion."
The smile that beamed a crossed the master's face was for his older padawan, Xanatos not the one who right now needed him most, Obi-Wan………
Obi-Wan sought and found some release of his jealous thoughts after he meditated in one of his favorite temple gardens.
The padawan having finished with his meditations leaned back on the balls of his feet as he stayed in a kneeling position. He released a long sigh. He thought he was alone, but the rustling of some bushes indicated he was not.
"Meditation helped did it padawan?"
"I don't know what you mean Master Yoda."
Obi-Wan knew it was hard to hide anything from his grandmaster, the master to his master.
"Feel your turmoil through the force I do. Guess I would, trouble with the other padawan there is. Am I not right?"
"Well not really Master. I guess the trouble is with me."
Obi-Wan desperately needed someone to talk too and he was very close to Master Yoda. In fact the gossip of the temple had him Yoda's favorite. Obi-Wan did not know if there was truth in that, because he was the first to get in trouble with Master Yoda if he stepped out of line.
"I think I might be jealous of Xanatos. I mean he and Master Jinn are so close."
"Close with your master your are not? Mistreat you he does?"
"No Master Yoda you know very well my master is good to me. It's just that he well we…"
"Master and apprentice you are good together. A bond with emotion and physical closeness you lack. Am I not correct?"
Yoda knew that Obi was having problems voicing his concerns. He wanted to help the young man along.
"Yes. I mean Master and Xanatos seem like father and son."
"Time there was when he and Xani had problems just as you and he had."
"Yes but Master seems to have readily embraced Xani whole heartily after his betrayal. But he does not seem to be able to do the same with me."
"Maybe hurt him more from your act of betrayal than Xani hurt him. Maybe expected it was of Xani. Expect it from you he did not."
Obi-Wan did not know what to say to that. He realized that maybe Master Yoda was right. Now he felt even worse for what he had been thinking. He left the temple garden with renewed determination to be the best Padawan he could to Master Jinn. He was determined to show his master he was as worthy as Xanatos.
Practice session with his master had been three hours straight of grueling exercises in the use of the saber and the ever illusive kata that Obi-Wan found so difficult. More than once the padawan found himself face down on the floor when he tried to execute the aerial part of the kata.
If Master Jinn was upset with him this night Obi-Wan could not see it or sense it. It seemed like Jinn could except Kenobi's inability to do the kata as long as Xanatos was not there to witness his clumsiness.
That led Obi-Wan to believe that indeed his master was ashamed of him last night in front of Padawan Crion. This time Obi-Wan did not get upset or angry, instead he worked harder. The next jump in mid-air was done with precision and accuracy. Apprentice Kenobi focused entirely on what he was doing and for what reason, to appease his master; it worked. The seventh kata was completed finally with no mistakes and the expertise of an older padawan. Even his master was shocked, no pleased by what Obi-Wan had just accomplished.
"Well padawan I don't think you will have to worry about completing this kata in class tomorrow. I am not sure I could have done better."
Obi was thankful for the praise, but even in the praise did not come the emotion or passion that Xanatos could ring from his master with just a small accomplishment.
Kenobi tried to convince himself that at least he got his master's praise and that should be enough, but it wasn't. Obi-Wan hoped to get a pat on the back or an arm around his shoulders, neither came. He would have to settle for a vocal "job well done" and be done with it.
Obi-Wan did not have time to apologize to his master about the night before. He looked up to see Xanatos coming in the practice hall. His smile beaming on his face as he greeted their master.
"Aye master I had hoped you would be finished. Master Windu has invited us over to play some chess and have a few drinks with him."
"I hope alcohol is not involved. I would not want him corrupting my padawan."
Jin was clearly joking with Xanatos . At almost 27 years of age he was past the age of consent when deciding if he should drink or not.
"Of course not master. You know me. I never touch the stuff. How about you Obi-Wan?'
Obi-Wan could do nothing but stare at the other padawan. First he waltzes in interrupting them and then he is joking about him drinking. What topped it off was that his master found it amusing.
//Had I made a joke about me taking an drink of something alcoholic I would be peeling potatoes for two weeks. With "Xani", its funny.//
That left the youngest padawan out of sorts again. Jinn could feel rolling emotions from Obi-wan and deep down knew something was troubling him , but he felt he deserved a break this evening. He would deal with Obi-Wan in the morning.
//I will talk to Obi-Wan tomorrow to see what is bothering him.//
"Padawan if you would go back to our flat now and study. I don't think you will have a problem with this kata tomorrow."
"Oh you mean you finally got him to execute it correctly tonight. I was kinda worried there "Bro". I know you were having a lot of trouble with it."
Qui-Gon did not particularly care for Xani correcting or belittling Obi-Wan. He planned to mention it to him outside of earshot of his other padawan. It would not do for Xanatos to start correcting or commenting on how Obi-Wan was doing or not doing.
That was the first time Qui-Gon had felt any animosity toward his former padawan, Xanatos. He did not know for sure where it came from. Surely Xani was not trying to belittle Obi-Wan. Jinn could not think why he had suddenly become so protective of the little one, his youngest padawan.
Qui-Gon shrugged the bad thoughts off and watched Obi-wan leave with his shoulders drooping and not another word spoken.
"He sure is one to sulk isn't he Master?"
"Not usually Xani. I don't know what has gotten into him."
"Maybe he is jealous of sharing his master and because we have such a close connection to one another; one far closer than the one he shares with you."
"You think that Xanatos? You think that I have no connection with Obi-Wan?"
Xanatos knew then he had upset his master and wanted to correct it.
"Well I mean… You and he do not share a connection like you and I do. We have a closeness that cannot be matched by another master/apprentice pair."
That made Jinn think. Was that what was wrong or bothering his smaller padawan; the feeling their bond was not as strong as the one he and Xani shared.
"It s hard to have two training bonds, but I do not think I have ignored Obi-Wan's bond in favor of yours. Is that what you think?"
"Well there are those at the temple who seem to think we have a closeness that you do not and never will share with Obi-Wan."
As far as what I think, I don't believe it matters. What is important is what Obi-Wan thinks about your shared bond or lack of it that counts…..
PEACE ewen
Obi-Wan is almost sixteen. I have no beta and I am not an English major, please forgive the errors. I do make them. Hope you can muddle through this one!!!
Obi-Wan stood in the middle of his almost empty room. It was the room he had since becoming Master Qui-Gon Jinn's apprentice almost three years ago. Obi was fast approaching his sixteenth birthday.
//It is not like I am leaving the temple, Master and I are only moving to a different apartment, a bigger one. //
Obi-Wan realized it was not the move that was upsetting him; it was the reason for the move.
The council had found Xanatos Crion worthy enough to finish his training, what little of it he had left. They had said it would not be more than six months before he would successfully reach knighthood.
//Fine and dandy!! But does he have to return to my master to finish his apprenticeship. He left on unfriendly terms with Master Qui-Gon and now he plans to just waltz back in and take his place beside my master.//
Crion was instrumental in squashing a coo against the government of Telos. After that, he was deemed worthy to finish his training.
While highly irregular, it had happened a couple of times before where a padawan who left the Jedi order was allowed to return. It was also highly irregular for a master to be allowed to have two apprentices, but of course Master Jinn, being who he was, was granted permission to take "Xani" back. The council reasoned he would not need the "tending too" that Obi-Wan did because of his young age.
//What really upsets me, maybe even more than Xanatos coming, is how happy and enthused Master seems about it. One would think that after having his former padawan draw a saber on him, Master Jinn would not be in such a hurry to have him back.//
With that thought Obi-Wan cringed with thoughts of his own past. It had been a little over two years ago he was guilty of doing the same thing as Xanatos, he drew his saber on Qui-Gon , which resulted in his probation as a padawan for a year.
//Master took me back so I suppose he could not do any less for Xanatos. Things will be all right. He will only be here six months or so, then everything can go back the way they wer//.
Could they? Would they be the same after Xanatos comes back to Qui-Gon?
The temple being a small closed society within itself, was not without its gossip mongers.
The gossip in the temple was that Obi-Wan was treated with much more strict Jedi training than Xanatos was. The opposite was true when "Xani was Master Jinn's apprentice. They not only had a close bond but emotionally their closeness mimicked one of father and son. It was said that Master and apprentice, Jinn and Crion could be seen walking down the halls in laughter of merriment, with Master Jinn's arm looped over "Xani's shoulders.
Obi-wan had never experienced such closeness with his master. Their bond though very strong also had a certain aloofness about it. Jinn and Kenobi did not share the camaraderie and close relationship that Jinn had when Crion was apprenticed to him.
Master Jinn was never cruel to Obi-Wan; In fact, he was a fair and just Master. Nevertheless, not only was he fair and just he was strict and demanding.
Deep down Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi was jealous of the closeness that his master and the former apprentice, Xanatos Crion shared. He wanted that closeness with his master, but settled instead for the typical master/apprentice relationship that was like almost all the others at the temple.
Qui-Gon insisted that Obi-Wan go to the transport landing to meet Xanatos with him
Xanatos knew that his former master now had an apprentice, but as yet he had not met Obi-Wan.
Little beads of sweat formed on Obi-Wan's forehead, his hands were clammy and his breathing labored. Those were just the few signs indicating how nervous Padawan Kenobi was at meeting Xanatos. To Obi-Wan, "Xani" was a rival that had to be dealt with head on. Although Xanatos would not be with he and Master Jinn for long, Obi-Wan feared that having Xani back would make Jinn realize how shallow and dull their shared bond was. Obi-Wan feared that Jinn would not want him after having spent 6 months with an apprentice that had brought so much joy into his life, whereas Obi-Wan had brought nothing but strife and tedious boredom in his master's life.
Qui-Gon's eyes lit up when he saw his former padawan. They greeted one another first with a hand shake and then a proverbial bear hug. It seemed that neither wanted to let go of the other.
Obi-Wan blushed with the intimacy at which they shared. Xanatos finally released his grip on Master Qui-Gon when he looked down at the boy who stood patiently beside them.
"So this is the one that replaced me. Hi Obi-Wan, I am Xanatos."
Xanatos extended his hand in a friendly gesture to the padawan and Obi-Wan shook it, still hesitant about this one.
"You know you could never be replaced "Xani"."
Maybe what his master had said was not meant to cut through the padawan like a knife, but it did. The words hurt Obi-Wan deep to the core, but he only bit his lip and tried to bear up to what Qui-Gon was saying and feeling about his padawan, Xanatos. He was clearly more pleased at having Xani back with him than he had ever been at having Obi-Wan Kenobi by his side. Jinn had never acted this way around Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan was almost shocked by such a show of emotions from his master. It actually embarrassed the young apprentice to see how his master was so out of control emotionally when he saw Xanatos again……….
The next week went about as it always did for Padawan Kenobi. His days were filled with classes in both saber training and academic studies.
The only thing different was that Obi-Wan did not see his master as much as he normally would while at the temple. Qui-Gon would frequently stop by Obi-Wan's saber training to give him words of encouragement. He sometimes would even have private lessons with Obi-Wan in saber training and his katas. This week there had been no time for Master Jinn to oversee Obi-Wan's training. He was busy with "Xani".
Then of course, Jinn would occasionally have mid-day meal with his apprentice in the main dining hall. That did not happen either. Master Jinn could be seen having mid-day meal with "his" Xani every day that week. They were always surrounded by young knights hoping to meet the mysteriously and famous apprentice. They had been Xani's crèche mates and had already gone on to be young knights. Xanatos loved to tell his story about overthrowing the coo in Telos. He was like a hero to the young knights. They could not understand why the council would not just let Xanatos become a knight. They thought his history in helping his people keep their government was trial enough for the Jedi council.
Jinn felt that way also but kept silent. The time he had with Xanatos again, was very precious to him. He did not want it taken away nor did he want to share it. That was where he was having the difficulty.
He was beginning to feel guilty about ignoring Obi-Wan so much. To try to compensate for that ignoring of him, Qui-Gon decided to do some saber training with Obi-Wan, but of course, he was going to include Xanatos.
Obi-Wan was at first happy about his master offering to practice a new kata with him that evening after last-meal. The disappointment of it came when his master explained that Xanatos would be coming with them while he and Obi-Wan practiced.
Padawan Kenobi valued their time together and this intrusion was met with silent opposition. Obi-Wan was afraid to voice his disappointment at having Xanatos accompany them. He was afraid that his master would think him jealous and petty. Of course, that was exactly what the padawan was being.
That evening in the practice hall Padawan Kenobi seemed to have two left feet. That was not how he was normally. It just seemed with Xanatos around Obi-Wan could do nothing right. Even Master Jinn was short with him after is fifth unsuccessful attempt at the new kata.
"Maybe you should practice this one tomorrow and then we can review it again."
Qui-Gon did not want to tell one padawan how poorly he was doing in front of the other padawan. No one needed to tell Xanatos Obi-Wan was totally off in the maneuvering of this kata, you could see how badly the younger padawan was doing.
"Don't worry Obi. Everyone runs across a kata from time to time that they have trouble with. You will get it in a week or two."
Qui-Gon seemed upset with Obi-Wan. You might say he seemed almost ashamed at how poorly Obi-Wan had executed the kata.
"He doesn't have weeks Xani. If I am not mistaken Obi-Wan is to be tested on this particular kata in a few days. Am I correct Padawan?"
"Yes master."
Obi-Wan kept his head hung down so that his master would not see his flaming red cheeks over his embarrassment at having done so badly.
"Have you to studied at all on this Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan could here the curt sharp voice of his master, indicating he was not pleased with performance, but not willing to reprimand him in front of Xanatos. For that Obi-Wan was thankful, however he hated to disappoint his master. It was clear that Master Qui-Gon was not pleased.
"I have practiced. I could stay here and practice more."
Obi-Wan was anxious to improve and he wanted to continue working on he kata. He vowed to himself he would work all night if he had too, so that he could become better.
"No I think you should go meditate and then do you studies for tomorrow. I will try to find time to help you more tomorrow. I am afraid I will have to forego some of our training Xani. I have to deal with this situation now. I don't know what has gotten into the boy. He normally is quite good about doing his practicing."
Obi-Wan did not like being reprimanded in any manner in front of this apprentice that was almost God-like in his master's eyes.
In that split second Obi-Wan slammed his shields shut. He had no wish for his master to know what he was thinking.
//What am I now, a situation? Maybe if he had been working with me instead of "his" precious Xani over the last week, I wouldn't be behind in this kata.//
"That's alright master I will find something to do. Obi-Wan does seem to need your help. I wanted to visit with Master Windu. Maybe I will ask him if he has time for me tomorrow."
"Excellent idea. I think an evening with Obi-Wan and he will have improved greatly. At least we will have to hope so or he will behind his class and I would not be pleased with that at all."
The big master cast Obi-Wan such a glaring stare that it startled the apprentice. It was as if the master was almost daring the apprentice to fail this kata.
"Master may I go to the garden of the water fountain to meditate?"
"Yes, if you go straight home afterwards and study and then ready yourself for bed. Xani and I are going to have a cup of cha with some knights and other masters in the main hall. They never seem to tire of hearing of Xani's adventures. I myself, may have some questions for you Padawan Crion."
The smile that beamed a crossed the master's face was for his older padawan, Xanatos not the one who right now needed him most, Obi-Wan………
Obi-Wan sought and found some release of his jealous thoughts after he meditated in one of his favorite temple gardens.
The padawan having finished with his meditations leaned back on the balls of his feet as he stayed in a kneeling position. He released a long sigh. He thought he was alone, but the rustling of some bushes indicated he was not.
"Meditation helped did it padawan?"
"I don't know what you mean Master Yoda."
Obi-Wan knew it was hard to hide anything from his grandmaster, the master to his master.
"Feel your turmoil through the force I do. Guess I would, trouble with the other padawan there is. Am I not right?"
"Well not really Master. I guess the trouble is with me."
Obi-Wan desperately needed someone to talk too and he was very close to Master Yoda. In fact the gossip of the temple had him Yoda's favorite. Obi-Wan did not know if there was truth in that, because he was the first to get in trouble with Master Yoda if he stepped out of line.
"I think I might be jealous of Xanatos. I mean he and Master Jinn are so close."
"Close with your master your are not? Mistreat you he does?"
"No Master Yoda you know very well my master is good to me. It's just that he well we…"
"Master and apprentice you are good together. A bond with emotion and physical closeness you lack. Am I not correct?"
Yoda knew that Obi was having problems voicing his concerns. He wanted to help the young man along.
"Yes. I mean Master and Xanatos seem like father and son."
"Time there was when he and Xani had problems just as you and he had."
"Yes but Master seems to have readily embraced Xani whole heartily after his betrayal. But he does not seem to be able to do the same with me."
"Maybe hurt him more from your act of betrayal than Xani hurt him. Maybe expected it was of Xani. Expect it from you he did not."
Obi-Wan did not know what to say to that. He realized that maybe Master Yoda was right. Now he felt even worse for what he had been thinking. He left the temple garden with renewed determination to be the best Padawan he could to Master Jinn. He was determined to show his master he was as worthy as Xanatos.
Practice session with his master had been three hours straight of grueling exercises in the use of the saber and the ever illusive kata that Obi-Wan found so difficult. More than once the padawan found himself face down on the floor when he tried to execute the aerial part of the kata.
If Master Jinn was upset with him this night Obi-Wan could not see it or sense it. It seemed like Jinn could except Kenobi's inability to do the kata as long as Xanatos was not there to witness his clumsiness.
That led Obi-Wan to believe that indeed his master was ashamed of him last night in front of Padawan Crion. This time Obi-Wan did not get upset or angry, instead he worked harder. The next jump in mid-air was done with precision and accuracy. Apprentice Kenobi focused entirely on what he was doing and for what reason, to appease his master; it worked. The seventh kata was completed finally with no mistakes and the expertise of an older padawan. Even his master was shocked, no pleased by what Obi-Wan had just accomplished.
"Well padawan I don't think you will have to worry about completing this kata in class tomorrow. I am not sure I could have done better."
Obi was thankful for the praise, but even in the praise did not come the emotion or passion that Xanatos could ring from his master with just a small accomplishment.
Kenobi tried to convince himself that at least he got his master's praise and that should be enough, but it wasn't. Obi-Wan hoped to get a pat on the back or an arm around his shoulders, neither came. He would have to settle for a vocal "job well done" and be done with it.
Obi-Wan did not have time to apologize to his master about the night before. He looked up to see Xanatos coming in the practice hall. His smile beaming on his face as he greeted their master.
"Aye master I had hoped you would be finished. Master Windu has invited us over to play some chess and have a few drinks with him."
"I hope alcohol is not involved. I would not want him corrupting my padawan."
Jin was clearly joking with Xanatos . At almost 27 years of age he was past the age of consent when deciding if he should drink or not.
"Of course not master. You know me. I never touch the stuff. How about you Obi-Wan?'
Obi-Wan could do nothing but stare at the other padawan. First he waltzes in interrupting them and then he is joking about him drinking. What topped it off was that his master found it amusing.
//Had I made a joke about me taking an drink of something alcoholic I would be peeling potatoes for two weeks. With "Xani", its funny.//
That left the youngest padawan out of sorts again. Jinn could feel rolling emotions from Obi-wan and deep down knew something was troubling him , but he felt he deserved a break this evening. He would deal with Obi-Wan in the morning.
//I will talk to Obi-Wan tomorrow to see what is bothering him.//
"Padawan if you would go back to our flat now and study. I don't think you will have a problem with this kata tomorrow."
"Oh you mean you finally got him to execute it correctly tonight. I was kinda worried there "Bro". I know you were having a lot of trouble with it."
Qui-Gon did not particularly care for Xani correcting or belittling Obi-Wan. He planned to mention it to him outside of earshot of his other padawan. It would not do for Xanatos to start correcting or commenting on how Obi-Wan was doing or not doing.
That was the first time Qui-Gon had felt any animosity toward his former padawan, Xanatos. He did not know for sure where it came from. Surely Xani was not trying to belittle Obi-Wan. Jinn could not think why he had suddenly become so protective of the little one, his youngest padawan.
Qui-Gon shrugged the bad thoughts off and watched Obi-wan leave with his shoulders drooping and not another word spoken.
"He sure is one to sulk isn't he Master?"
"Not usually Xani. I don't know what has gotten into him."
"Maybe he is jealous of sharing his master and because we have such a close connection to one another; one far closer than the one he shares with you."
"You think that Xanatos? You think that I have no connection with Obi-Wan?"
Xanatos knew then he had upset his master and wanted to correct it.
"Well I mean… You and he do not share a connection like you and I do. We have a closeness that cannot be matched by another master/apprentice pair."
That made Jinn think. Was that what was wrong or bothering his smaller padawan; the feeling their bond was not as strong as the one he and Xani shared.
"It s hard to have two training bonds, but I do not think I have ignored Obi-Wan's bond in favor of yours. Is that what you think?"
"Well there are those at the temple who seem to think we have a closeness that you do not and never will share with Obi-Wan."
As far as what I think, I don't believe it matters. What is important is what Obi-Wan thinks about your shared bond or lack of it that counts…..
PEACE ewen