Hi everyone and welcome to another one of my creations! :) I'm so glad you're reading, and I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush.

Kendall Knight sat at his desk, the cursor key blinking on his blank word document. He willed his brain to think. Think. He needed a groundbreaking idea for his next mystery, and right now the idea itself was the biggest mystery.

He sighed and rubbed his face before staring at the blank page on his Mac.

It had never been this hard for him to come up with something to write. He had written four best-selling mystery novels, and all of those concepts came to him without hesitation.

He rolled his chair back and stood, stretching. He needed to take a break. Get some food. Maybe a little TV would give him some inspiration.

The Backwoods, By Kendall Knight sat on his shelf, right beside Find Me, The Gutter, and Watch Out For Nancy. All were stamped with a golden #1 Best Seller on the cover, and all earned him enough money to keep him out of work for now.

"Maybe… A mother and her son," Kendall began, opening the fridge and frowning at the empty shelves. "Who starve in their own home."

No, that's dumb.

He sighed to himself, opening his drawer and going for the Chinese takeout menu, whipping out his phone as he looked over his dinner choices.

Kendall had been trying for a new novel for a few months now. He would get about three chapters in and be very excited and confident, but his editor would tell him it was all wrong- he needed fresh and exciting. Not a granny being found buried in the woods. Not dogs all over a neighborhood being mutilated by an unknown culprit.

He guessed he just didn't have that flare anymore.

What gave him the flare before? His ex-boyfriend, Logan. All through Kendall's success, Logan was there by his side, inspiring him and supporting him.

But now Logan was a doctor. Too busy for a relationship. Too busy for a wedding and kids and happiness. At least, that's what he told Kendall. He just wanted to focus on his career. Maybe after he had things under control, he could think about Kendall again. But at the time, Logan claimed he felt guilty for not being able to give Kendall the attention he needed.

He was even too busy to move out of their apartment, so they were stuck together.

They had dated for three years and survived Logan's medical school before Kendall proposed and everything blew up in his face.

"Kenny, there's too much going on for me," Logan had said, brows furrowed as he pulled Kendall to his feet from his knee. "I just got a job- my first job as a doctor. Things are gonna get hectic and I'm not gonna be able to plan a wedding or even be around to give you the attention you deserve."

"That's okay. We can take as long as you need for planning," Kendall assured.

"I love you, baby, but I think it's best that we take a break," Logan said softly, his chocolate brown eyes dropping.

"What? No. You can't do this to me," Kendall said shakily, in shock. "It's been two years!"

"I know. And I think that once things calm down in my life, maybe I can think about being with you again. But right now, I promise it's best. I've been thinking about it a lot, and it has to be done."

That was three months ago, and Kendall felt that he still loved Logan, though he knew that was bad for his sanity. A part of him hoped that when Logan called or came to check on him, he was coming back for Kendall, asking for him back. Of course that wasn't happening. Meanwhile, Logan was going on dates and having a grand time being a bachelor, and Kendall was left rotting in his wake.

"A man… Who kills his ex because if he can't have him, nobody can," Kendall said, sitting on the counter and pulling up the Chinese restaurant number in his phone. He looked up in surprise, then smirked. "That was morbid."

His thumb went to press the "call" button when he realized that it was midnight and the place wouldn't even be open.

"Fuck," he grumbled, slipping off the counter and onto his feet. "Ramen noodles it is. Again."

Frustrated, Kendall highlighted all three pages of the word document he had been building on and deleted it all.

"It's all shit," he growled, getting up angrily.

He didn't have it anymore, and he knew it. He couldn't force an idea to pop into his head and onto the computer. Couldn't force people to like it and buy his books.

He went into the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror.

His hair was too long, a beard was starting on his jaw, and his eyes were red and tired. Kendall sighed and started the shower up.

Maybe some hygiene would help.

He showered, shaved, and brushed his teeth before walking out into the bedroom to put on fresh clothes.

Next he would fix something to eat. Logan had gotten groceries on his way home late last night- he was sure he could find something good.

A note was written on the fridge with a dry-erase marker from Logan.

A few months ago, the note would say "Have a great day! I love you!", which is why Kendall's heart flooded with hope when he saw the letters. Unfortunately, it didn't say that. It said "Be home at 6 tonight, I'll bring pizza."

Kendall's hand squealed against the smooth surface of the fridge as he smudged the letters angrily.

He was tired of Logan acting like they hadn't broken up. Acting like nothing happened, like it was still Logan's job to take care of him.

Logan still brought dinner home for Kendall when he could. Still offered to take off work when Kendall was sick. Still asked if Kendall wanted to go out for lunch. Still cleaned up the apartment when Kendall was busy.

The way Kendall saw it, he needed as much distance as he could from Logan to get over him. He didn't need a nanny or a maid, he was a grown man.

He ate a bowl of Lucky Charms out on the terrace overlooking LA. It was the business part of LA- there were no celebrities or tourists roaming. It was just apartment and office buildings with joggers and people walking to work below.

It got Kendall thinking about how much he missed cozy neighborhoods and woods and ponds and quaint little playgrounds that he got when he lived back in Minnesota.

He and Logan both lived in Minnesota two years ago, Logan in his own apartment and Kendall living in an apartment with a roommate. That's where they grew up.

Then Logan got an offer to transfer and graduate from the medical school here in LA, and he took it. And of course, not wanting to lose his beloved Logan, Kendall followed and they moved into this apartment. At that time Logan took an apprentice job at the hospital which soon landed him a job.

Now they were broken up, but Kendall had to deal with the pain of seeing Logan almost every day and having Logan take care of him against his will.

He needed to change his life.

All of it.

He needed to move out of this apartment and be away from Logan so that he could heal properly. Logan was the center of all his problems- his writer's block and his depression.

And who's to say Kendall had to get an apartment here in LA? There was nothing for him here but Logan, and he was trying to get away from him.

He was missing Minnesota and his family. Maybe he could go home to Minnesota. Maybe that would help with his writer's block.

But… Did he want to keep writing?

It didn't make him happy like it used to- it just stressed him out now. Maybe taking that out of his life along with Logan would do him some good.

Immediately Kendall got up, opening the glass door with his elbow as he dug a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

He had to call his mom and tell her.

He had to look for an apartment.

He had to delete all those horrible first-chapter drafts on his computer.

He had to pack- the sooner he was packed the sooner he could leave.

Logan entered the apartment with a pizza in one hand and his keys in the other.

"Kendall!" he called, kicking the door closed behind him. There was no answer, but he could clearly hear someone in Kendall's bedroom/office.

He put the pizza on the table and went to knock on the door.

"Kendall? Are you hungry?" he asked, opening the door.

"I'm fine, Logan," Kendall said, turning to his ex-boyfriend and seeing the shock in those dark eyes.

He was seeing the boxes all around the room, full of Kendall's things.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"I'm moving out."

"Why?"

"Because I can't handle living here with you anymore, Logan," Kendall sighed, turning back to fold up his clothes and put them in a suitcase. "You act like nothing happened, and it's killing me. I need to have my distance from you."

"So go on a vacation."

"I'm moving back to Minnesota," Kendall said, turning to his ex-boyfriend.

"All the way back home? That's so far."

"There's nothing for me here."

"What about me?"

"You're not mine anymore," Kendall said softly. "Unless you want to get back together?"

"No…"

"Then I need to be home, where I'm happy," Kendall said, honestly a little heartbroken by the solid "no" he was given.

Logan slowly went to sit on the bed, in a daze.

"I'm sorry, Logan," Kendall said, going back to packing. "But I'm so depressed. I need a change. I'm even quitting writing."

"What? You love writing."

"I did. But now it doesn't come so easily," Kendall shrugged. "Maybe I'll go home and write articles or something- I have a journalism degree."

"Are you serious about this?"

"I'm dead serious."

Logan was silent, staring up at Kendall and catching his eyes.

"I'll miss you," Logan said seriously.

"Well… It's better this way."

Logan sighed and nodded.

"You know I'll support anything you decide, Kendall. I just wish there was something I could do to keep you in my life."

"It's not goodbye forever," Kendall murmured. "This is just something I need to do."

"I'm glad you're thinking about yourself for once."

"Me, too."

"I hope you find what you're looking for back home. And I'm sorry- I didn't realize that you were sad."

Kendall's eyes dropped and he nodded.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," he said.

"You're going to your mom's?"

"Yeah."

"Call me when you get there."

Kendall nodded, though he knew he wouldn't call.