I know im in the middle of another story, but I had an idea hit me while I was on my plane back to florida, and I couldn't let it go
Rivaille: shut up, dumb ass. If you keep switching between stories like this, ill have to kick your ass
Me: im sorry, plea-
Rivaille: don't touch me with that filthy writing hand of yours or I might catch something worse than Jean's horse porn
Me: *sobbing* I don't own… Gintama or SnK
Announcer: Hello! We have brought here today Captain Rivaille sharing his wonderful thoughts on the cast of Gintama!
Rivaille: I did this because Mr. Smith ordered me to…
Announcer: LETS GET STARTED!
Rivaille: That silver haired man is down right filthy. He should sanitize himself completely before even thinking of getting close to me.
Gintoki: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING DIRTY, YOU TWO FOOT BASTARD?! *rubs boogers in kaguras Hair*
Rivaille: the carrot haired girl is-
Gintoki: THE SAME HEIGHT AS YOU, YOU DISRESPECTFUL MIDGET!
Rivaille: *twitches* Eren, I thought I told you to take out the trash, didn't i? the horseshit counts too *glares*
Gin: DID HE JUST –
Shinpachi: Gin-san, let captain Rivaille finish his thoughts on us!
Rivaille: don't butt in, glasses. Go do something useful and clean those dirty lens of yours instead.
Shinpachi: *sobbing in corner*
Eren: umm sir, i-
Rivaille: did I said titan, eren? NO I DID NOT
Shinpachi: *grossly cleaning glasses while sobbing for recognition*
Rivaille: that mayo maniac is the is the equivalent of my shoe bottom, consuming all that dog food of his. Not even the titans want to eat a worthless human like him, especially stuffed with that yellow atrocity.
Hijikata: Don't insult mayo, bastard! Those that defy the glorious mayonnaise should commit seppuku!
Rivaille: glorious, my ass. Commit seppuku for being so useless, you cigarette smoking, mayo loving bitch.
Sougo: Hijikata-san, Hijikata-san, he also nominated you as the Shinsegumi mascot. You're getting pretty popular for a filthy dog.
*sougo and Rivaille high five each other*
Rivaille: I guess not everyone's a dumb ass here…
Sougo: you mean Hijikata-san? The mayo cuts the circulation to his small brain. We're all very sorry…
Hijikata: SOUGO! Damn bastards… THAT'S IT, IM GON-
Kondo: HAHAHA don't get angry, Toshi! Not everyone loves mayo as much as you do, and hes probably justjoking, right, Levi-chan?
Rivaille: don't "levi-chan" me, disgusting gorilla. I don't joke around, so take that hairy ass of yours and go back into the mother that let a worthless piece of shit like you live among the rest of humanity
Kondo: *crying* s-see.. toshi-I, he's just j-joking… *runs off*
*CRASH*
Well that's the first part, and yeah ill continue it later I promise. Will he ever say his thought on kagura? Was it really kondo that caused that crash?! Read it wh-
Rivaille: stop wasting my time on useless shit like this. I got titans to kill, windows to clean, and an Eren to kick.
Eren: sir, please stop kicking me.
Rivaille: no one said titan Eren, shut the fuck up and look at all the big ass trees.
Gintoki: stupid short ass insulted my natural perm… damn lucky he has straight hair …
I need some strawberry milk to calm down…
Me: … if you have any requests of characters or different animes for rivaille to –basically insult- don't be afraid to ask!
Rivaille: ima kick your ass for this…