The Ouran Block Tango: Ouran Parody of the Cell Block Tango, an ouran high school host club fanfic

Hikaru: Fancy…

Kaoru: Three…

Honey: Cake…

Mori: Mmm-mmm…

Tamaki: Ouran…

Kyoya: Fujioka…

Ranka: And now, the six merry murderers of the Ouran County Jail in their rendition of the Ouran Block Tango.

Hikaru: Fancy!

Kaoru: Three!

Honey: Cake!

Mori: Mmm-mmm!

Tamaki: Ouran!

Kyoya: Fujioka!

All Host Club Members: She had it comin, she had it comin, she only had herself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it…

Tamaki: I betcha you would have done the same!

Hikaru: You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like… Haruhi. Haruhi always wanted to try tuna. No, not regular tuna… FANCY tuna. So I came to the Host Club this one day and I'm really irritated and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy and there's Haruhi sitting in her chair studying and mentioning trying tuna. No, not regular tuna… FANCY tuna! So I said to her I said, "You mention fancy tuna one more time…" And she did. So I took a baseball bat I had and I swung two warning shots… into her head!

All Host Club Members: She had it comin, she had it comin, she only had herself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it, I betcha you would have done the same!

Kaoru: I met Haruhi Fujioka back in middle school about two years ago. She told me she was single and we hit it off right away. So we started dating together. We'd go to classes, meet at the Host Club, have a drink together… and then I found out… single she told me? Single my ass! Not only was she dating me, oh, no. She had three boyfriends: Nekozawa-senpai, Class Rep, and Bossa Nova. So that day when we came to the Host Club, I fixed her a drink as usual… You know, some commoners just can't hold their coffee!

All Host Club Members: She had it comin, she had it comin, she took a flower in its prime! And then she used it, and she abused it! It was a murder but not a crime!

Honey: Now, me and Usa-chan were in the kitchen slicing a cake for dessert, I was minding my own business and in storms my girlfriend, Haru-chan in a jealous rage. "You've been screwing Chika-chan," she says. She was crazy! And she kept on screaming, "You've been screwing Chika-chan!" And then she ran into my knife… she ran into my knife ten times!

All Host Club Members: If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!

Mori: What am I doing here? They say my famous tenant forced my girlfriend Haruhi down… and I accidentally sliced her head off… But it's not true! I'm innocent! I don't know why the girls I used to host say I did it... I tried to explain to everyone at school, but they wouldn't hear me out…

Shiro: Yeah, but did you do it?

Mori: Mmm-mmm! NOT GUILTY!

Tamaki: My father Yuzuru and I had this double act and my girlfriend Haruhi travelled around with us. Now in the last number of our act, we had at least twenty acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread bunnies, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show, we stayed at a resort not too far from Ouran. The three of us reminiscing, having a few laughs, and we ran out of fancy tuna so I go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's my father and Haruhi doing number seventeen: The Spread Bunny! Well… I was in such a state of shock. I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later… when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead! They had it comin, they had it comin, they had it comin all along! I didn't do it, but if I've done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong?

Kyoya: I loved Haruhi Fujioka more than I could honestly say. She was a real interesting girl. Sensitive, an honor student. But she was always trying to find herself. She'd go out every night looking for herself and on the way, she found Renge, Kanako, Éclair and Arai. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. She saw herself as a graduate student… and I saw her dead!

All Host Club Members: The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! She had it comin, she had it comin, she had it comin all along! Cause if she used us, and she abused us, how could you tell us that we were wrong? She had it comin, she had it comin, she only had herself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!

Hikaru: You mention fancy tuna one more time…

Kaoru: Single my ass…

Honey: Ten times…

Mori: Not guilty…

Tamaki: Number seventeen: The Spread Bunny…

Kyoya: Artistic differences…