I wanted to go away, away from you, Stars Hollow, the feeling that have enraptured me for the past ten years. But I couldn't, I had to think of April. She would always be a part of my life now.
I had always been described as the town loner. The guy with no friends, who ranted about the smallest thing, even when it didn't have any purpose in life. But you managed to change part of that. When I was with you, the town saw a side of me that wasn't totally gruff, it wasn't as you said table for one anymore.
That day you stepped into my diner those many years ago now, a light bulb went off in my head that maybe being stuck in this town wasn't so bad after all. Even when I think of all the bad stuff that is associated with living here, you somehow managed to have a different outlook on it all. I mean you chose Stars Hollow as the place to raise your daughter, not some other town, but Stars Hollow.
But all that is a distant memory now.
When I think about that night, when you poured your heart out and then left so abruptly, I knew I had lost you, whether it was for a month, a year, forever, I wasn't sure. All I know was you were finally getting that middle you always wanted, just not with me.
I saw you with Christopher, walking along the streets of Stars Hollow smiling, laughing with him as you walked Paul Anka. But underneath the façade, it's as if something was missing. That there was still a tinge of sadness, echoing through the smile and laughter.
Two years have past since then. I had heard through Babette and the Stars Hollow gossips that you had moved that living in the house was too much for you. But I don't know if this was true. I saw you every so often, driving on the way to the Dragonfly Inn to work. Sometimes a part of me believed that you drove past the dinner to check up on things, but now I'm not so sure anymore.
Regardless of what happens, I still hold onto the slimmest hope that you will one day appear on my doorstep, because the best moments seem to include you in my life. It took me a lifetime to realise this, but with all the exes, children and townsfolk who have come and gone, you are the one that I wanted to work the most; wanted to be with the most and I hate that it was messed up.
All I know, I finally want my middle before the end is reached.
My heart aches. Is it finally the end? Is there time for that middle? I want the middle.