Disclaimer: Really? Is this necessary? Of course Harry Potter doesn't belong to me, and why would someone pay me for this? That would be ridiculous. Nice, as I am broke, but absolutely mad.

A/N: So, Remus/Sirius is kind of my new favorite thing. (Except Brittana, but we're not talking about Glee right now, are we? And if we were, I'd inform you of all the ways they are perfect, but no one here wants that.) I've only written one fic for them, and it was a little oneshot borderline crack!fic. While that was fun and everything, I thought I'd write something chaptered and a bit more Sirius (insert crickets chirping- no one likes a bad pun). Well, as serious as one can be about a fanfiction categorized as humor. Moving right along. I feel like I should point out that this is, in fact, SLASH. This should be rather obvious, as it is also categorized as romance. I believe you all to be intelligent specimens of human who can work this out all on your own, but perhaps a little warning is due before I get flamed by bigots.

Remus Lupin liked having secrets- they were familiar to him, having kept a very large one for as long as he could vividly remember. The Marauders had no secrets, but Remus needed to have at least one to maintain his sanity. And, after the afternoon he'd had, it was time to hide out on the Astronomy Tower and indulge in his one last secret. He clung to the cigarette in his left hand like his life depended on it, keeping the smoke in his lungs far longer than was necessary. It was a revolting habit, and he was well aware of it, but sometime he felt like it was all he really had.

People would never have realized it, but the Astronomy Tower in the middle of the day was the best place to hide away and indulge in whatever secret one held dear. No one would ask questions about a student in the halls at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, and the Astronomy Tower was always deserted at this time of day. Remus could never understand why his peers never really took advantage of it; classes in that particular tower were only held at night, so Professor Sinistra, the astronomy teacher, was never around. He chuckled (followed immediately by a coughing fit) at the thought of all of the lustful couples that would sneak up there to snog (and Merlin only knows what else) in the middle of the night. How they could not realize the stupidity of their plans was beyond him- there was a class there every single night- of course they were going to get caught! Idiots.

He didn't find himself to be particularly clever (although he was), but he couldn't stop himself from being surprised by, and embarrassed for, his peers and their lack of observatory skills. Especially the Hufflepuffs, who were usually repeat offenders.

Sirius Black, on the other hand, could not keep a secret if his life depended on it. He would at least confide in his closest friends about the really personal ones. After being raised in a family that thrived on privacy and secret keeping, he never wanted to hide anything ever again. He kept nothing to himself and seemed to lack a filter when he spoke, assisting him in eventually acquiring more enemies than friends. Unlike many other 16 year olds, this did not bother him in the slightest. He vowed to never hide anything again, and he never regretted this decision.

So, the fact that Sirius Black insisted on a Very Important Secret being kept was particularly baffling to one Remus Lupin on a specific, life changing, fall afternoon.

It all began roughly four and a half hours previously. Remus was sitting at a little table in the back of the common room, parchment and books spread about. He didn't usually spend his Saturdays studying (despite Sirius' and James' frequent accusations), but he'd been having more trouble than his typical amount- which was saying quite a bit- with Potions. He needed the extra review time if he had any chance of not falling behind.

Naturally, Sirius Black was having none of this. He plopped down on a chair next to his friend, nearly knocking over the other boy's inkbottle. Remus caught it before it could ruin his meticulous notes (although they weren't very helpful. He was hoping for the best, but it was looking more and more like he'd have to re-write them with every passing moment). He sighed in relief and turned to glare at his best mate. "What do you need, Sirius?" he growled out. He was never one to lose his temper, but Potions did not bode well on his social skills.

"Let's go flying," his friend replied, grinning and undeterred.

"I'm a bit busy right now," he said, gesturing towards the table stacked with study materials. "Why don't you ask James? I don't like flying, anyway."

"James is off with Lilyflower," Sirius whined.

Remus sighed wearily, knowing there was no hope of him actually winning this battle. "How about Peter?" he offered.

"Peter is dull."

"Be nice. Besides, I really am rather busy. Later, I promise." Remus turned back to his textbook. If Sirius hit him with the puppy-dog eyes, he wouldn't have a chance.

Sirius stood and stomped his foot, arms crossed over his chest and a petulant look on his face. "But Moooooony, I want to go nooooowwww," he whined again. He was doing that thing in which he gave a monosyllabic word six more syllables. Remus was amused, but the high pitch bothered his acute post-moon hearing and he was more irritated than swayed to accompany the other boy.

"You may just be the tallest six-year-old I've ever seen," Remus said, smirking.

"You're six," Sirius replied (with great wit, as per usual), sticking his tongue out.

"Your maturity knows no bounds." Remus had yet to look up from his Potions textbook. He had that look of extreme concentration on his face; he knitted his eyebrows and bit his bottom lip hard enough that it would probably leave a small purple bruise- the one he wore every time he studied something he really was having trouble grasping. Getting his attention was already infuriating and impossible, and the look implied that it would only become more difficult. Sirius decided it best to take his leave now, in the least juvenile, and most sensible, way he knew how.

"Yeah, well… sod off!"

"Goodbye, Padfoot," Remus sighed, waving vaguely in the retreating boy's direction.

Remus was hardly surprised when Sirius returned 45 minutes later.

"How about chess, Moony? You love chess. It will be fun, and you can continue being brilliant and working that giant brain of yours. Please please please please please," Sirius badgered, poking Remus in arm repeatedly.

"Fine!" the other boy replied, slamming his book shut. "But we're going upstairs. I'd like to pack up my books, and we'll just be bothering everyone down here who are trying to get some work done. You're not exactly quiet when it comes to anything competitive, Pads."

Sirius agreed, begrudgingly admitting Remus was right but too happy about getting his way to properly care, and followed him up the stairs to their dormitory. He watched the golden-haired teenager neatly put his books in a beaten up rucksack and parked himself on his bed, pulling out his ivory chessboard.

"An elephant died for that, you know. We are playing chess with blood on our hands," Remus said, eyeing the board. The statement was less of a scolding; more of an observation.

"Must you ruin all things fun?" Sirius responded, arranging the pieces on his end of the board.

Remus shrugged, setting up his own pieces.

The game went on predictably. They had played so many times most of their moves were the same and, as per usual, Remus won. Like every other game they played in the past, Sirius accused him of cheating and they got into a good-natured scuffle, the chessboard sliding off of the bed. Remus may have been more reserved than his companions, but he was still a teenaged boy and every so often gave into the siren call of the teenaged-boy-mock-fight.

The two boys collapsed in a heap on Sirius' bed. Remus was suddenly very aware of his senses- particularly each bit of his skin touching the tanned, muscular form of his friend. He swallowed and forced himself to brush it off and focus on the crimson hangings.

"Did you mean what you said before?" he whispered.

"What? That you cheated? Damn right I did, and I will catch you one day, you scheming bastard," Sirius replied with a grin.

"No, not that. When you said that I wasn't any fun?"

Sirius' head turned abruptly, his dark hair fanning out behind him. "Of course not."

"You're sure I'm not… boring?"

"Why would you even think that?" Sirius asked.

"Well, I'm not as fun as you or James. I'm always stopping you from your pranks, I'm not particularly interesting, and-"

"Moony, look at me." When Remus continued to stare blankly upwards, Sirius grabbed his chin and turned it in his direction. Their noses were nearly touching, only a few millimeters apart. "You are not boring. You're funny, and brilliant, and you always have the best ideas for perfecting our more genius pranks, and you're the kindest bloke- no, person- I know, and you listen instead of waiting for your turn to speak, and you're the right amount of quiet, mostly because if you weren't Prongs and I wouldn't have a chance with birds because you're so bloody charming and gorgeous and…" Then, Sirius did the unthinkable. He leaned in that extra few millimeters and kissed his best mate. He felt Remus stiffen with shock- he immediately pulled back and jumped off of the bed, eyes comically wide. The lycanthrope would have laughed if it had been a different situation. "I just- I didn't- don't tell anyone." And with that, he ran from the room.

Remus stood slowly and made his way towards the astronomy tower, grabbing his rucksack and the Marauder's Map on his way out the door.

The werewolf pulled himself out of his seated position, his knees cracking as his legs straightened out. He'd been sitting for too long; idle, cowardly, and very un-Gryffindor. It was time he made this right- no need to break up the Marauders over his best friend's obvious momentary lapse in judgment. Also, he needed to find Lily and have a small mental breakdown. But first the damage control bit.

He stubbed out his third cigarette of the afternoon on the wall behind him and pulled the Marauder's Map out of his robes. He always stashed it there, deciding it was best to keep it close to his person, especially after The Accident in Fifth Year in which James nearly lost it forever. The Map had fallen out of his bag- the panic-filled search lasted a solid hour and a half, until Peter miraculously found it peeking out of the rubbish bin in the Charms classroom. There was yet another scuffle between James and Sirius (why can't teenage boys just have a civilized conversation?), but that didn't end in a searing kiss. He was thrown out of his reverie and re-focused on the task at hand.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," the Map unfurled itself and he searched the parchment for a sign of Sirius, spotting him pacing the hallway in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady. Why he chose to a place so conspicuous, Remus could not imagine. But he chose not to dwell on this, as Lily and James had conveniently returned to the common room and he could, to use a muggle phrase, kill two birds with one stone. The werewolf sighed and tucked the parchment; now seemingly blank, back into his pocket. Although he knew Sirius was not going anywhere, he left at a brisk walk. He needed to confront his friend before he lost his nerve. There was nothing worse than a cowardly lion.

A/N: It's a bit on the short side, but I'm sure I'll update soon if I get a suitable amount of promising reviews. Hint hint.