Two Fish in a Bowl
A Tony Farewell Story
By Susan L. Grabon
BlackBear53
Katelyn Todd had been a great partner and a good friend. That's what happens in this job.
She never let me get away with anything. She called me on all the bullshit I'd pulled on her and later on Tim McGee. She made light of all my dates with younger women. Kate also took most of what I told her with a huge grain of salt. I felt it was my job to keep her on her toes so there was a lot of playful one-upmanship with her. She'd worked for the Secret Service so she really came with much of the skillset needed to do this job. I just liked to razz her a bit. If I had to admit it she taught me a lot in the two short years we worked together.
When she died on that roof top, with a bullet through her head, it hit all of us hard. I felt survivor's guilt, after all her partner was left behind. Even when she was replaced by Ziva I still felt her loss.
It didn't feel right to just post a picture of her or have one hidden away somewhere so I went and bought a goldfish to keep in my apartment. Kate, that's the fishes name, is a deep golden orange with long graceful fins. I chose her because she reminded me of my partner, Katelyn, who was very graceful as well as being able to kick your ass. I still miss her today.
Then Ziva took Kate's place. It almost seemed too sudden. We had no time to grieve for Kate. She'd worked for Mossad for God's sake. Nothing in her training said 'investigator." We all knew what her job had been: assassin. Both Tim and I were wary of her for quite a while. She did try her damnest to become part of our team. I have to admit she was a quick study. Before long she kept up with the investigations and began to give insight to some of the crimes. Even Gibbs began to acknowledge her achievements.
The longer we worked together the more those 'feelings' were felt by each other but there was that damn Rule twelve; Never date a co-worker. Those feelings came and went for both of us or so we thought. About three years ago Ziva left for Israel to bury her father and when she returned it came to light that she'd had a brief assignation with Adam Ershal. The Green-eyed Monster came out in me. I realized that those feelings hadn't gone away after all. But by then something else was twisting her up inside. She hid it from me for a long time.
About a year later we all resigned to help Gibbs and Ziva went back to Israel. Whatever ate at her increased in intensity but she kept it hid from all of us.
When the shit hit the fan and we all came under the gun, Vance told me to go to Israel, find David and bring her back to NCIS. We'd all been reinstated as agents. I really think he meant it when he told me, "Find her." I took him at his word. I left that evening and came home four months later, alone.
I went because she meant something to me and I regretted all the time we'd wasted because of Gibbs stupid Rule Twelve. What if she was my future? Gibbs wasn't sure I should go to Ziva but he couldn't have stopped me, so he didn't even try. He wanted her safe too.
During those months I visited many Middle Eastern countries trying to find her. After missing her in so many places by just days I realized I would never win at catch-up. I was thinking like a Westerner and she was thinking like an Israeli. I thought that she'd go back to all the important places in her life but I erred. She thought about her beginnings and it took a dream one night to enlighten me.
I finally found her at her birthplace. It made perfect sense. I went but was not wholly welcomed by Ziva.
While I wanted to talk her into coming back to the States, she said she couldn't do what she needed to do from there. Her atonement had to happen in Israel. It seems she had been dumped on by her brother Ari's girlfriend. Ziva felt it was time to atone for the deaths of all the individuals who's lives she ended or destroyed. I didn't see it the same way but couldn't talk her into coming back with me.
We let our emotions run the gamet from guilt to love and we enjoyed being together for over a week. I still couldn't budge her from staying in Israel. I had no choice but to leave Ziva behind. Walking up those stairs to the plane was probably the hardest and most painful thing that I've ever done. Coming home alone hurt.
Driving home I passed a pet shop and stopped in. Looking at the fish gave me hope. Making the decision was easy. I bought a Siamese Fighting Fish. Her scales were dark, exotic and tough; Ziva all the way around.
Today as I pack my bag for my final day at NCIS I look to the fish bowl in my living room. My ladies are beautiful just like their real life counterparts. I drop a few morsels of fish food into their bowl. "Be back soon ladies. Behave yourselves."