Chat Shit Get Banged, A horror story about Chase fucking High skool.
Chapter Juan:
Once upon a time there was a sexy beast called Vicky Baka Berry. She had massive tits and and a massive collection of yu-gi-oh cards. She made cereal. Suddenly she screamed a goblet of wisdom "CHAT SHIT GET BANGED YOU SILLY LITTLE PLEBIAN FILTH!"
Out of nowhere, the great and mighty xxpookalooxx unleashed her mythical powers of...
"Ew, that colour is well mank" Vicky protested. "Almost as mank as your flat chest" pookaloo screeched like a fucking banshee. "U LITTLE CHICKEN SHIT, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOU JUST DISSED THE BIG V" (big v is not a vagina you dirty slag) The battle of epic proportions was about to begin. "I'LL FUCKIN DECK YOU SO HARD YOU'LL FLY TO SCOTLAND YOU CHEEKY LITTLE FUCK" Vicky proudly protested. Pookaloo swung her manky fist but it was all good cuz Vicky dodged it, innit. Vicky retaliated by using her awesome power of just fucking standing there like a prune, absolutely destroying pookaloo in the process. Suddenly, out of the shadow came a new challenger, a man who goes by the name CONNOR MUTHAFUCKING SEYMOUR.
Connor gently nudged Vicky out of the way, doing absolutely nothing whilst uttering the majestic line of "OI VICKY YOU LITTLE FUCK, DON'T U TOUCH MY FUCKIN GRILL LIKE THAT"
"Actually, you emo, furry pleb, I didn't fuckin touch that sket-bag" the mighty Vicky roared.
Connor wasn't having none of that shit though, he swung his twatting fist at Vicky so hard her fez fell off, revealing her true identity, innit.
"DAMN, IT APPEARS I HAVE BEEN DEFEATED" Vicky cried out in despair "WHAT SHOULD I DO, WHO'LL SAVE ME?"
IT APPEARED AS THOUGH VICKY'S PRAYERS HAD BEEN ANSWERED, A SHADOWY FIGURE STEPPED INTO THE LIGHT. WHO WAS IT? IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS? IT'S GARY OAAAAAAAA- Naw jk, it was fucking Macy, innit.
"I'LL WRECK YE", SAID THE MYSTERIOUS MACY.
"HEY LOOK, IT'S A DONNER KEBAB, WITH GARLIC BREAD!" Vicky fucking screamed like the pre-pubescent child she truly was. "EW GROOOOOOOS" They both shouted in unison, activating the super-ultra-mega-man-super-fighting-robot-move-of-death destroying the evil child connor in its wake. Pookaloo fucking screamed like a pussy though. "EEEEEEEEE U KILLED MY BOY FRIEND YOU BASTARD" She yelled, whilst summoning her gay ass ex denny.
"LIFE IS SO PAINFUL AND WORLD OF WARCRAFT IS MY ONLY SAVIOUR" Denny chanted like a fuckboi.
"I WILL REMOVE YOUR EXISTANCE FROM THIS REALM YOU FILTHY MAGE!"
"Alrighty then, you stupid fucking spunk-trumpet!" "Show me the beef!"
A group of chavy Chase students surrounded the lunch hall now, you could hear them shouting the infamous line: "CHAT SHIT GET BANGED!"
Vicky turned her head slightly to see somebody kneeling on the shitty wooden floor, they were holding a cd player and promptly began blasting the epic rap battle between Goku and Link. It was none other than MOTHERFUCKING CALLUM.
"GO TEAM GARY, GO TEAM GARY" He screamed at the top of his fucking lungs.
"OI WILL YOU SHUT UP, I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR DICKINSON AND HIS REAL DEALS" Tom had joined the stupid fucking shindig.
Chapter Deux: The Stupid Fucking Shindig.
"EYY, IT'S LIKE THERE'S A FUCKING CULT HERE, INNIT!" "I'LL BEAT YOU DOWN WITH MY FUCKING CHEESE BAGUETTE!"
Suddenly, Denny, the level 90 wood elf threw a stick at Callum. Callum ducked and deflected it off of his shitty poundland cd player. Denny was fucking infuriated, innit. He drew his mighty twatting tree branch of nature and he shot some faggoty-ass green spell shit at Tom.
Tom looks at Denny real hard, and Denny shits himself. He was truly about to get twatted up.
The door to the lunch hall was taken off of its hinges with a mighty kick, it was none other than the poundland store detective.
"I see thou in thy corner of thy canteen wielding a stolen item." "THOU HAS STOLEN FROM THY LAND OF THE BRITISH POUND"
The store detective runs at pookaloo, going so fast that even sanic is too slow. He slams into her so hard that she goes flying out of the 3rd floor window and collides with the ground, her last words were in fact "chat shit get banged"
Pookaloo's death shocked Denny so much that he was no longer afraid of being twatted up and swung his mighty twatting tree branch of nature at Macy. Macy grabbed the fuckboi stick and snapped it in half, causing the entire crowd to shout "ALLUHA AKBAR" before realising that they, just like the author of this shite had been sat there for three hours doing fuck all, they promptly left.
The lunch hall is now quieter than your mum, lol.
Denny also got fucking bored and jumped out of the 3rd floor window, commiting suduko. The remaining plebs in the lunch hall cheered. It was finally fucking over. In the end, Vicky finished her cheese baguette because that shit costs £1.20, Macy learnt that donner kebabs and garlic bread were not actually gross, Callum continued to blast ghetto music from his shitty poundland cd player and Tom got to finish that episode of Dickinsons Real Deal.
The end.
Also, this is majestic and if you disagree then you're probably correct. Adios, amigos.
