Dearest reader,

This features a female Harry.

I am not a dedicated writer, nor do I take an exceptional liking to writing, nor is my primary language English. Because of these things, you might deviate from reading due to my lack of experience, knowledge, and (at times) weird sentence structures. The following story might be a little on the dark side, which in turn might sway more of you away, however, were there to be any future chapters, I can not promise that they will always appear in such a mood (if that is your thing).

The description was deliberately vague to dissatisfy non-adventurous readers, and if you made it this far and if you are still interested or at the very least curious what this story is all about - it means that you are part of the audience I am looking to satisfy and hopefully I can do that part at least.

This chapter/part was revised on 8. April 2016 in order to fix a few things that I missed or otherwise felt were lacking. If you have already read this chapter/part, then, thank you for that; you do not need to read it again because, overall, the plot is still the same.

[Year 1 - Summer - Part 1/2]

With these hands, I will build

She had never felt it pleasant to be dragged by the ear, especially when the large man did it. He held such a grip of steel that, sometimes, she could hear tiny cracks from some unknown places. They would eventually fade silent, of course, after a few seconds. And every time at the end of it, it would feel as if her ear was no longer there. A warm and red piece of mass would have taken its place instead. There was something mysterious, she had always thought, about how, when she would embrace the fatigued limb after he was done, her fingers would feel so cold.

As per usual, the always grumpy man's child and its mother would do nothing but watch. She could not see it, today, but she knew were she to look for help that they would pretend they did not see. This time, especially, she knew that the mother would be very busy in helping the boy stay warm – he was awefully wet after all – and with a large towell that she had gotten a hold of (for free, of course) she would hug and attempt to comfort him.

When they reached the inside of their home, she was tossed away quickly like a spider that was crawling on the hand of its unsuspecting victim, as if it was just about to bite – as if she would even dare to try. The strength of this man was much too overpowering for her stability and she could not stop skidding on the floor until she hit her head on the plant-urn that was near the entrance to the kitchen. It nearly tipped over, but through the stars that she imagined were flying around her head, she saw that it did not.

She already knew what would happen even before her body realized what was going on. She would never reveal it to anyone, but the thickness of her hair made for a good shield effect when it was grabbed and it forced her to stand on tiptoes - the more hair, the stronger was the absorbtion effect. She did not expect that it could go two ways, however, that, simply because it was so thick it presented a good hold for him, too. The sting she felt after the slap made her wonder if maybe she punctured the lip again, and thereafter was only a darkness as the man locked her in her room, but not before making sure she slammed her back hard against the wall. The lock clicked from the outside and keys jingled for a moment before she heard the muffled punishment of this time: "No dinner for a week!".

She dusted herself clean of the dirt that had collected on her shoulders and let it fall soundlessly on her thin mattress. It was not fair... It was not even her fault, or at least, she did not think so. One minute the glass had been there and the next it was gone! How could she know that her stupid cousin, as sturdy as he looked, would actually fall into the tank? How could she know that glass can simply, almost magically, reappear - just when she was thinking, too, that it would have been so funny if it did? It was not fair..

Silent minutes in the dark eventually turned into hours, and when she could no more ignore the cravings for food, and she had started to reflect on the guilt she felt, where maybe it really was her fault. She made a wild guess that three days had already passed, but if it was true, however, she had no clue. Her uncle so far had been true to his word: she really did not have any dinner these few days. Somewhere along the multitude of hours, with regards to her initial punishment, she had begun to fear that maybe he had forgotten about her altogether. Because, she had not received any food at all, and there had been no sign whatsoever that he would be even remotely close to opening the door! Never once, when somebody walked passed her door did she hear the ratteling of keys.

To make matters worse, she felt that she desperately needed to use the toilet. In the darkness that was her space (cramped, though it was), she had tried many things, and currently sat criss-cross with her legs in an attempt to focus. It did not help for long, not when she was this conscious about it - she really, really, really needed a bathroom.

Inside the tiny room, she began to look with her hands (for her eyes never adjusted to this dark) with a hope to find anything she could use – but there was nothing. Bowl nor bottle, nor anything of the sort, just some bundled up old dirty clothing. Desperate as she was, after she arranged some fabric to that reminiscent of a little birdsnest, she felt shame even though she was alone, as she let go in the silence. It was not possible to supress the moan of displeasure that escaped her throat and the smell was vile. Terribly so, but the pressure in her stomach finally eased. Hopefully, they would not notice. Hopefully, nobody ever would. This would be her little secret.

She tried to hide the feces better and she had to discard the boxers that she wore, one of Dudleys old ones, that she had wiped herself clean with. There together with her in a corner rose a castle of filth. A castle built up of all the discarded clothing and textiles that she could find, stacked on top of each other, raised from a soft glue-like foundation. She pretended that she was its queen, and the cupboard that was her room was her little kingdom. She was a little surprised to feel a wetness drip down from her eyes and down onto her cheeks, she had not expected to cry.

As predicted, the jingling of keys had her body grow stiff the following morning, and blood drained from her head when she saw the purple head of her uncle peeking in. The onslaught of fresh air that entered her little imaginary kingdom was overwhelming at first, but that blissful, healthy draft got trapped abruptly in the deepest parts of her lungs by a large hand that wrapped around her throat. The look he gave her brought tears to her eyes, and she could no longer look at him, she felt so shameful and weak. She knew that she had messed up this time.. big time.

There was no strength left in her body to protest any more, therefore, she turned limp in his grip.

"I'm only going to say this once, girl.." He spoke with such venom that she was afraid he might actually curse her with his words. Through the tears and confusion she nodded once, no more because it was too painful with the fat that was his hand dominating her. "In all my life..." He squinted angry eyes towards the castle she had built, and the smell that emanated from it, "you are eleven years old... And yet..." It was bad, she knew very well how bad a trouble she was in. He could not complete even a sentence!

"Out."

He had said that with such a clearity that the strength of his voice was so powerful that she flinched backward, her hands had started grasping at his, without her knowing, when the clenching tightened further and she really began to have problems to breathe. "Get out." He whispered monotonously, eyes no more than two slits, "and don't ever come back. I don't care what they say. You get out now. I want nothing of your rebellious acts no more!"

She could not stop crying until a long time after she reached the swings in the playground park. As she sat there without swaying, she suddenly heard thunder at the same time that she felt there was a rumble in her stomach. Goodness, was she hungry.

With this face, I will smile

Despite no longer having a home, or, for that matter, anywhere to go; she was happy. After a while when she had calmed down, the thought that she would no longer need to stay for another minute in that house felt nice. No matter how long she thought about it, there were no memories that entered her minds' vision which told of anything good ever happening to her there. She was just so contempt to be sitting on this swing, that she would not mind doing just that for the rest of her life. At least, it would have been the case if not for the many other children whom, upon the days growth, decided to show up and play.

She did not want to associate with anyone other than herself at the moment, no, she did not want to think of excuses why she was out here – out with these tattered clothes that she wore, commando, as it were. In retrospect, it was probably because of her cousin, Dudley. He was a little mean to everyone, but especially to her. Lies that she did not know was possible could spring out of his mouth at such speed it made her amazed. Most of them regarded her, in some way or another. Everyone who would listen believed in what he said, because he was, after all, somewhat of a leader amongst children.

It was with a relieved sigh that she considered herself a little bit lucky to have found such a nice secluded shade under a big tree, a bit away from the other children. While sitting down and leaning against the trunk, she began to contemplate her situation. To be completely honest, she did not even know where to begin – she did not know anything about... life.

"What a beautiful girl you are, " she heard a man's voice suddenly, up ahead. She felt a pang of jealousy, but looked up from her grass-digging anyway, and searched around herself. It did not take long at all to find the source, she was a bit surprised to find a tall man standing there looking at her! She had at least the decency to blush when she realized just what this implied, "I- I am? " she asked him, not really sure if it was true.

"Yep!" The man said, and she could see that underneath his dark hat, his shaggy hair, atop his bearded face, he wore a very big smile. She quickly looked away and down at her hands, idly fingering the few strands of grass that were stuck between her toes. "And cute too, " he proceeded. She could feel when her face grew hotter still, because nobody had ever told her that she was cute! She did not dare to look at him, gazing instead idly at the grass at her fingertips. That was when her stomach decided that it had had enough, and wanted to trust the stranger – at least for the moment. Her body rumbled dissatisfying to him, and he immediately took the hint, "and hungry too." He wiggled his eyebrows at her when she looked up from embarrassment.

She could not help but laugh a little at his antics. He appeared to be very friendly, maybe even the most friendly anyone had ever been to her! Maybe, if she was lucky, he wanted to be her friend – oh my, she always wanted to have a friend. Even though it felt a little awkward, she nodded to him all the same – she was stuck with confusing feelings between embarrassment and hope, and not knowing what else to do, settled for a smile.

"Where are your parents?"

There was something odd about the way he had started to look around himself, but she figured that of course he would be suspicious, she was sitting here all alone after all. She never liked to be different from other children, because everyone she knew about had two parents, but she had... "I- I don't have any parents, " she mumbled to him, and suddenly felt insecure. Her Aunt and Uncle did not like it when she spoke of them, "I live with my aunt and uncle, but, " they preffered to pretend they did not know her.. She would not be surprised if they would not even miss her, even if she died.

"They wouldn't even miss me even if I died" she had told him before she knew that she was phrasing her thought out loud. She got a little scared when he suddenly hunched over, closer to her than she remembered him being the last she looked, and resting his hands on his knees as he did so. "Don't say that, " he told her, and she realized how handsome his face was now that she got a good look at it. He seemed genuinely concerned for her, which she hoped would lead to a good thing finally happening to her.

"I'm sure they love you very much, girl" although it was a small gesture, she knew that he saw the way she narrowed her eyes a little at the word he had used. But to her surprise he did not seem to care, or maybe he did not want her to know what he thought about that. "Sorry, " he said, and scooted a little bit closer "I don't know your name". She took to hugging her legs when she felt that he was a little too close.

"It's Harry"

"So, Harry, how about I buy you a pizza? I know the best place in all of Surrey!"

She could not believe her luck, and neither could her stomach because it growled happily at the words it heard. "I-I've never had pizza before, sir!" She had completely forgotten to be docile around him, and as he helped her stand and let him take her hand in his own, that was when she noticed it. Something was wrong. Exactly what, she did not know; was it something about his strong grip, which, for being such a nice man was very painful? Was it something about his steps, so hurried, that she had trouble in keeping up with him? She wondered that not only would she have trouble, but the rate at which he was moving would have caused anyone to have trouble catching up to the both of them.

So lost in thought was she, that when he brought her to his car, or van, or whatever it was – with a promise of her first taste in pizza - she never realized that they entered the vehicle from the back. It was not until after the door was slammed shut, and she heard him shout angrily to the chauffeur to drive, Now! That she learned what danger she was in. As she began to try and struggle free from his grasp, she felt his hand so hard on her cheek that she was frozen in shock. Not even Uncle Vernon had hit her this hard before. This short period in time that she was submissive was enough for the man to put on her lips a strong silver colored tape. She was flipped over to her belly and felt when he gripped her thin arms to her back, tying them up with a strong knot.

That was how she suddenly found herself in the arms of a stranger that she had only just met today. She could not help the tears that rolled off her eyes, this week had been one gigantic disaster for her. She lost all will to try and escape when she felt the dread of this reality sink in. The man, who appeared to be sensing her stress tried to soothe her to not be afraid, that she would be able to go home very soon, that she would only need to do just one thing for him. She had no choice but to believe what he told her.

With these legs, I will crawl

She could not tell how long they had journeyed by car, just that it felt like a very long drive and they had not stopped even once, yet. Her thoughts were spinning in confusion as she still had trouble to completely understand what had happened. Goodness, had she a fair guess. Kidnapped. Was that not what it was. She knew what it meant to be kidnapped, but it being her first time she was not so sure. She had, after all, never expected it to happen to her. Who would even want her?

While suffering through the fatigue that was a result from not having eaten in days, coupled with the adrenaline that was beginning to run off – she soon fell unconscious in the strong, unfriendly, arms that sealed her still. When she awoke, who knew how long after, it was to the shriek of a female shout. Groggily she tried to sit up in order to have a look around, but found it difficult to do so as her arms were still bound.

She did not know where she was, or what was going to happen. However, what she did know was that she was in a large room that echoed sounds of many other girls. She could not make out the sounds of any other children, however, and suspected there were none – that, or they were in a situation like her own: too scared to even make a sound.

As she stirred more and more awake and into the real world, she was able to faintly make out a group of figures that stood spread out in the shadows. While it appeared to be nighttime already, and there were no other lights than that of street lamps somewhere outside, these people somehow managed to find the darkest spots to stand.

One of the men (she assumed) tossed something round and hard randomly in her general direction. It did make some surprisingly weird noises as it slammed against the floor and rolled towards her, so it was only natural that she got curious and could not help herself but stare at it. Even though it was dark, even though she had only known the man for a short time in her life, she nearly barfed whatever liquids were in her stomach at the sight before her. She felt herself shake in pure terror as she looked at the severed head by her knees, the same head that she hours ago had sought in, a friendship, the very same head that had sat upon the man who told her she was cute!

"Tonight, we party!"

Somebody shouted from somewhere in the room and it was soon filled with roars of laughter, screams, agreements and shrieks. It was then to her utter panic that she heard a dark chuckle from something hovering above her, and she soon felt a strong, almost claw like, grip in her hair. The man that had lifted her into the air stared at her with his big, round, black eyes and she needed to close her own for fear of losing her very soul to the darkness that resided within them. She just knew that she was going to die, she just simply knew it! She was only eleven, and she was already going to die. No, that was so not fair! She did not want to die yet! She had wanted to meet one friend, she wanted to wear nice clothes at least one time, she wanted someone to save her from the house, she wanted... she wanted..

But just as she knew she was going to die, she also just knew that nobody would come. Nobody would ever save her - Harry Potter. She stopped her struggle. She opened her eyes again, and though she could not speak for the tape that covered her mouth, she spoke with her eyes and told the monster before her I'm not afraid of you. "This one's mine" the monster immediately said, and while there were already sounds of tongues smacking against something soft, various loud gulps, displeasing moans in rapid succession, she could no longer hear them because the man – monster – whatever it was – had already consumed her into his large arms. He squeezed down tight as if giving her the biggest and strongest hug that she had ever felt, and it did not take long until she was indeed crying. Not from receiving her first hug, but from an agonizing pain that escalated in the left side of her neck, and she could feel it extend all the way to her toes, so painful was it that she nearly felt herself pass out.

For a few moments, she thought that she had died already, because the room which had so firmly held so many sounds had turned deathly silent to her ears. There were no more tortuous screams, no more talking or shouting. The only reason she knew she was alive still, was the pain she had felt in the beginning that had dulled to a mere pulse in rythm to her heartbeat. Her eyes felt like they could fall out of their sockets at any moment as they were draped in what felt like sandpaper – so much had she cried. She felt simply like a piece of slacked meat, trapped in the arms of a creature. There was an intense feeling of incredible lightheadedness, and though she was no stranger to this feeling – it was different this time, because she honestly felt that the monster was sucking her dry of what little life she had. And second by second she felt herself grow more and more tired, each one colder than the next.

She was just about to finally succumb her tired body to the darkness that awaited her that she knew she would never wake up from. When, all of a sudden the dark room was lit up in such power that the man who held her was forced to let go of her, and, seemingly forgetting all about her, let her crumble to the ground as he turned around to face the intruders. She could feel how the sweaty skin she bore made the tape fall off as she was sagged along the side of the monster while she fell, and she could take her first exhausted proper breaths.

There was no energy to look around anymore, instead her legs were uselessly attemping an escape, away from where she lay. She tried to listen, and with her distorted hearing: talking, shouts, and yelling in a language she did not understand was heard. Not a moment after the foreign yell she heard a pained gurgle from the man that had succumbed her body to this state and a thick, wet liquid cascaded upon her as the man collapsed.

Instinctual hunger and thirst, a distraught and tired mind, she was oblivious to the rest of the world around her, and could no longer think straight. All she knew was that someone had presented to her something edible. She drank quickly and effortlessly, one sip was barely finished before the next one started – she did not even care if it was straight from the floor or if it was dripping from the mans face. All she could think of was that since she was going to die anyway, the very last wish she had was that she just wanted to eat one last time. It was not exactly distasteful to her, but she certainly did not deem it healthy, not that she cared!

The last thing that she felt, before she died, was a new pair of hands that grabbed her shoulders and forcibly had her sat up against the wall behind her. Something foul entered her mouth and it made her vomit on the spot, whatever she had successfully drank was sprawled all over the floor in front of her. When she slumped forwards, completely disabled into the arms of a stranger, she could swear that she heard somebody whisper you are safe now.

With this body, I will endure

It was a very familiar sight that greeted her when she woke up. She could never mistake it for anything else, it was her little cupboard under the stairs. Her collapsed kingdom. How long she had slept, she would probably never know, but one thing that she did know was that it had all been a dream. A very, very real dream. She had not been thrown out! Against her better judgement she sighed in relief at the idea that she was inside her relatives house again. She was back. She was alive.

As was usual for her whenever she would wake up with a gap in her memory, she started to investigate her body for any new wounds. Something felt odd. She could not quite put her finger on what it was that was wrong, literally, she could not with the use of her fingers find anything wrong. Her old scars and injuries, bruises, too, were gone. But she did not understand how exactly it was that she could feel so good? There was not a single thing that felt bad, or pained her in any way. The cut in her lip? It was no longer there, the bruises on her shins? They were no longer there! She was so mesmerized by this discovery that it took her a while before she realized, in this room that was always so dark – she actually saw quite well. It no longer felt to her that it was dark at all. It was such puzzle to her, not that she minded it this time, how somehow weird things seemed to happen around her every once in a while.

As was something of a habit when she was stuck in thought, she chewed carefully on her lower lip but stopped herself suddenly – there, something sharp. A finger (and tongue eventually) revealed it to be her tooth, and completely bewildered by this she cupped the whole part of her lower face in her palms. It was hard to tell, but it almost felt as if her teeth now held two fangs. It was not something that she noticed with her mouth closed. Can jaws really change so rapidly with no after-ache? As if sensing her own confusion, her mind took to live on its own and began to work hard, thinking back, thinking hard on what she could remember from her dream.

"...stop her, don't go having her drink that..."

"...we were tracking these fellas for a good time now eh?..."

"...are vampire hunters, Miss Potter.."

"...you saw that, she was- "

"-shush, get Dumbledore at once..."

"You are safe now."

I was..?

The door was jolted open so hard that it scared her out of her thoughts, and so fast that she jumped in the air and hit her head against the ceiling that was the stairs. She heard what sounded like her skull cracking open, but instead of feeling pain she felt that it was the stairs that gave in from her momentum, and strands of her hair got stuck in between the cracks. She locked eyes once more with her uncle, who looked as furious as ever. That was not what made her scared, though, no, it was the blinding light that filled the corridor behind her uncle and found its way inside her little space.

She could hear that somebody hissed rather terrifyingly, and as she pushed herself further up against the wall she realized that it was her. She was snarling towards her uncle, of all things she expected to do, she was freaking snarling at her uncle!

Her invader was taken aback by this behavior, face white as if he had just seen a ghost. However, it did not take long at all before he once more turned an unhealthy shade of purple and promptly tossed her a liquid package then shut the door so hard that she was concerned for the house would fall apart.

A minute or two passed in silence as she breathed heavily and tried to calm down. Eventually a strong sense of curiosity overtook her which caused her to grab the soft package her uncle had given her. It was as if she was not herself any more, strange feelings appeared that she did not understand. Before she knew it, she was already sucking its contents dry, she could tell immediately from the first gulp that it was blood. And she loved it so very much.

Dearest reader,

I hope you enjoyed this part 1, the next part will be uploaded in a couple of days. After that, we shall see what happens to this story.