Chaos in Varia Mansion

Summary: Vongola Nono isn't dumb. He knows of the growing tension between the Varia and the child he named heir. Vongola Nono, however, is well known for making some very interesting choices. Forcing the Varia to spend a week with Tsuna and his guardians in some remote Varia Mansion had to have been one of the worst ideas he had yet. Thankfully for everyone involved, the only true injured people were the ones Xanxus and Tsuna threw things at… and maybe Shoichi.

WARNING: Might get turned into an actual chapter at one point or another, but I'm adding them here because it won't leave me alone and my laptop doesn't need thousands of documents open. If I turn this into an actual chapter (most likely going to happen unless the majority of people yell NO at me), then it WILL be much better than this. I promise. I just needed to dump this half thought out idea somewhere I could get feedback on.

CREDIT FOR THIS: Rainbow Ice Phoenix. S/he gave this absolutely wonderful mental image (along with lines I can use) in PM and I just had to turn them into a story. This is most likely going to be placed in a chapter sooner or later, but I NEEDED to get this out of my head so I could write chapter two. Thank you so much dear for allowing me to use your lines!

WARNING: Contain spoilers to the Varia Arc! Contains spoilers to General Storyline! Also, outright Levi-abuse. (Seriously, I wonder how many times in the original I made I had Levi get hit with glass bottles…)

Lussasria and Kyoko

"Oh my~ such an adorable little darling~ you may call me Luss-nee!" Lussasria, the Varia's resident mother-hen (and flamboyantly gay Sun Guardian) gushed at Kyoko, who was blinking innocently at the man from her position in the Varia Mansion's Kitchen. Holding up the ladle she had in her hand, she waved and gave a brilliant smile that Lussasria giggling and doing a little spinning dance where he was in the kitchen door way.

"Hello, Luss-nee! I'm Kyoko! Would you like to start cooking with me?" The woman motioned to the pot which contained a delicious smelling concoction. "It's a gumbo of sorts. I've made it before, but cooking is always so much more fun when done with people!" Kyoko let out another smile and Lussasria was quick to remove himself from the doorway and put on an apron that looked similar to the light pink 'Kiss-the-cook' apron that Kyoko was wearing, but instead of being pink, this one was a bright yellow and green.

"Oh~ I can see us having so much fun~!" Kyoko giggled at Lussasria and nodded her head while turning back to stir the wonderful gumbo she was making.

Belphegor and Rasiel

The two couldn't help but stare at each other while fidgeting with the knifes in their possession.

The younger of the two was positive that he had buried the elder when he was much, much younger and couldn't understand why the person standing before him was almost a mirror image of him; his older twin.

The elder of the two was fighting with himself to not just outright attack the little brat who he was blood related too. His savior wouldn't like that one bit, and it would be a pain in the neck to try and clean up all the blood that would be spilt later if he started to let lose inside a building. That was actually one of his skies few rules. No fighting inside a building or in any place where you can cause immense property damage.

"Ushishishi…." Belphegor, otherwise just called Bel for short, gave a somewhat nervous laugh. His posture was tense, however, and it betrayed just how calm the kid was trying to be.

"Ushesheshe…" Rasiel gave a nervous laugh back in response, curious to see how he could take it before his little sibling's inferiority complex kicks in and he attacks. Tsuna never told him he couldn't defend himself inside a building, after all.

"Ushishishi…!"

"Ushesheshe…!"

"Ushishishi!"

"Ushesheshe!"

"USHISHISHI!"

"USHESHESHE!" Right after Rasiel had mimicked his blood brothers laugh, a 'ka-ching' was heard and there were five knives flying his direction, which were easily deflected by five of his own knifes.

Two knifes landed on the ceiling, three knives became embedded on the leather couch that separated the two storm siblings, one knife landed on the table next to the two drinking sky bosses (one of which let out a yelp and a hic), two knives ended up in the beside Mammon and Hana, one knife somehow managed to make it into the kitchen where Kyoko took a swipe at it with a frying pan, and the last knife became unaccounted for as it skidded under the door to office where Xanxus typically worked. That knife was a lost cause, and Rasiel figured it was better to not be in the mansion when the man decided to go back into the room.

Just in case.

Bel took a leap at his twin and that was that for Rasiel. No need to hold back. Grinning, and feeling his blood being to boil for the revenge he could dish out, Rasiel lunged at his twin and didn't hesitate to pull out all the stops as his sibling returned the favor in full.

Mammon and Hana

The two had a sort of staring contest before the two nodded, in almost perfect sync with each other, after a knife had flown in between the two of them. The both turned and were just waiting in a corner of the room the two groups were locked into. Mammon had a small camera on her, it was almost completely hidden and slightly covered in mist flames to hide it even better, and Hana would have missed it if not for the very soft sound of a shutter click when Bel and Rasiel started to pull of each other's hair while shouting things in a language that only the two of them knew.

"Yare, yare," Mammon frowned as she surveyed the damaged that was being done to the very expensive room. "They're wasting my time and destroying the room again."

"Monkeys." Hana nodded in agreement, "all of them."

Mammon was about to say something, but more flying knives stopped her and Mammon watched in horror as the wayward knives that were storm-flame infused started to destroy everything that they got into contact with.

"Tch, they should know that my time is money... And it also takes a lot of money to refurnish a room..." Mammon was already working formulas in her to see what she could get out of her 'teammates' so that she didn't end up paying for everything again. Just because she saved the Varia thousands of euros every day didn't mean that she wasn't stingy about it. The Varia wanted to destroy the room? She'd make them pay.

"Again, they're all monkeys." Mammon's only response was to continue video-taping the entire thing. The blackmail material would be gold later on.

Squalo and Shoichi

"VOOIIII!" Squalo's loud voice was sudden to Shoichi, who had been working on tinkering with his watch, and caused him to drop to the ground while clutching his stomach in pain. "WHERE'S THAT STUPID RAIN OF YOURS?!" Squalo demanded as he waved his sword about. "I DEMAND A REMATCH!"

Shoichi would have been more than glad to give Squalo the information he wanted, but his stomach wasn't going to let him get up any time soon. Squalo seemed to have noticed that Shoichi wasn't on the chair anymore and began to look around furiously for the redhead with loud VOIIIIs, only to find the man on the ground clutching his stomach. "GET UP YOU SHITTY SUN!"

"M-my St-stomach… A-ah! P-please st-stop waving your sw-sword around!"

Spanner (and Squalo)

Having grown up with the kid in England (after illegally kidnapping him to take the kid to an engineering school, of course), Spanner sort of had this 'Shoichi-sense' that told him when he needed to get going to save his fellow guardian's rear.

That 'Shoichi-sense' was acting all high and mighty right now. It wasn't that hard to spot Shoichi either. All one had to do was look for the one person on the floor who was a redhead and poof! One found Irie Shoichi.

What Spanner didn't expect to see what Squalo shouting at the fallen guardian while waving his hidden sword at his friend. This caused Spanner to frown and think over what possible robot he had on hand (that, yes, he managed to get past Vongola Nono) and recalled that he only had one that supposed to be sword-resistant. He wanted to test it on Yamamoto, as the man seemed to love practicing his swordsmanship against the combat-ready robots, but since the fellow rain guardian wasn't on hand to help him test his robot, Spanner guessed that Squalo would have to do.

Pressing a button on his phone, it only a few seconds before the small metallic cube that Spanner had set down in the room and told people not to touch started to unfold and became a miniature-sized Gola Mosca that had a sword attached to one 'arm' and to the other arm was phalange-like fingers that were supposed to work for grabbing things, but Spanner was thinking about scrapping that idea since the robot had troubles letting go of things. Pushing a few more buttons, Spanner had to robot attacking Squalo, who once he realized that his sword wasn't doing anything more than leaving a few dents on the thing, let out a 'VOOOOOIIIIIIIIII' and began to fight the ridicules opponent while feeling somewhat miffed. (Spanner was positive he heard either Hana or Mammon groan.)

"Shoichi, you better?" Spanner asked once the robot had taken Squalo far enough away from the redhead.

"Y-yeah… Just… just give me a moment…" Shoichi tried his best to even out his breathing, but it didn't help as everything that was going on was only adding more and more stimulus to the poor kid.

Spanner ended up taking Shoichi to the infirmary room after agreeing to pay Mammon at a later date if she could slip the two past Vongola Nono's guardians who were stationed around every exit the room had to ensure no one got free and fled.

Xanxus and Tsunayoshi (and Leviathan)

Xanxus, after realizing that he'd be stuck with noise pieces of trash and scum for the rest of the day, had taken to doing the only thing that kept his Varia members somewhat alive.

He drank.

After about the fifth bottle, Xanxus found that he had eight empty bottles and sent a glare to the burnet kid who was sitting beside him and chugging a drink down.

"Brat?" Xanxus wouldn't ever admit it, but seeing someone as scrawny as the trash drink as fast as he was actually a little disturbing. Tsuna didn't even bother hiding his displeasure as he sent Xanxus a glare that clearly said he was also unhappy to be stuck in a room full of crazy people. Xanxus snorted, ordered a couple extra crates of alcohol and went back to drinking.

By the time Tsuna had finished his thirteenth bottle (a feat that had Xanxus somewhat impressed as the kid was a lightweight just by the looks of everything), a knife had flown right by Tsuna had he let out a squeak and a hiccup, which Tsuna blushed and quickly apologized for. Xanxus wanted to laugh, but he didn't do that, so he settled for letting out a huff.

Sadly, that opened up the floodgate for Tsuna's words.

""The pieces of what little sanity-" Tsuna hiccupped, but that didn't stop him from speaking."- I had left has been shattered!" Tsuna hiccupped again and chugged yet another drink when Xanxus shoved it at him with a barked order of 'Shut up, Mini-Trash'.

"VOIIIII!" Squalo shouted at a little robotic creature that had been unleashed at him the same time that Tsuna broke down into hysteric tears crying 'WHY?!' over and over again. On the edge of his ropes, Xanxus grabbed one of the glass bottles and threw it at Squalo and got slight enjoyment out of the fact that he had thrown the glass bottle with enough force to actually stagger the shark swordsman.

"VOOOIII! WHAT WAS THAT YOU, YOU SHITTY BOS?!"

"Shut up, scum." Xanxus closed his eyes and began drinking again while doing his best to ignore the wailing going on next to him (Xanxus didn't really dislike that kid- He beat him fair and square and that had earned the mini-trash Xanxus' respect- but he had promised Nono not to throw glass at the kid. Plastic was fine and all, but Xanxus didn't have plastic on hand).

"Boss! I'll get rid of this chaos for you!" Leviathan, who had been standing near Xanxus the entire time, tried to pick up Tsuna to remove the eyesore he believed was annoying his boss, but was instead rewarded for his offer with two glass bottles aimed at his head. Xanxus had laughed outright when he realized that, no. His glass bottle hadn't multiplied. Instead, it was the mini-trash that had thrown the second bottle.

"Boss!" Leviathan sounded insulted and was already pulling out his parabolas when Tsuna threw another glass bottle at Levi with a slurred warning about how opening umbrellas inside a building gives people three years of constant bad luck. Levi growled, but was stopped when Xanxus threw yet another glass bottle at the man and sent a harsh glare that had the Varia's lightning guardian reeling backwards.

"Shut. Up. Scum."

Fran

Fran sighed as he sat down on the roof of the Varia mansion and wondered if anyone even realized that he was missing. He had a mist construct feeding him real-time video of what was going on below him (he could barely hear the louder parts of Squalo's screeching) and sighed again as he mumbled to himself about how he had been left out of the mess.

Then Fran shook himself of the idea and counted his lucky stars that Tsuna had asked him to track down some Russia Mob leader who had sent a rather (Tsuna called it insulting) interesting gift of pineapples and clams and asked if an alliance could be made. Fran had made quick work on mentally scaring them for life.

By having been in Russia, it had been impossible for Vongola Nono's guardians to track him, which meant he was in the sanctuary that was outside and not in the chaotic war-zone that was the Varia's joint dining and living room.

"Just another day knowing the Clumsy-Bunny…"

-End?-