To him, time wasn't 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock, 1 o'clock. It was the shitty Underground Isabel and Farlan death. It was him breaking this fucking ankle for a brat. This brat with the puppy dog eyes and the determination to rid this world of the beasts. He was Humanity Strongest and that had expectations to hold. He felt like the world was on his shoulders and no one was helping him carry it, though there were many that fought next to him. Now, present, as he walked the long hall to his room, all their sacrifices were for nothing, all they did was tire the female titan and kill a few others.
Levi punched the wall, though his anger was short lives, if ever there. Tonight was for mourning, he had to room to be angry tonight, although most people was all he could feel. His ankle burned, begging him to sit, but he wanted to feel the pain like the pain they felt before their gruesome death.
"Je suis désolé." He turned to the widow, looking at the blue star painted sky, as if it alone could give him hope. He ran his fingers across the strap on his chest before whispering a final. "Vous avez combattu bravement." Tears blurred his vision, but he refused to cry, not when they had a better reason to shed tears.
He turned when he heard the knock on the door, fully intent to ignore it, but the door opened and Erwin walked in, head down and eyes sorrowful, as if he had anything to feel sorrowful about.
"I came to see if you were alright." His voice was soft, comforting, as if he was trying to calm a small child, but it angered Levi, because he couldn't feel angry because he was mourning.
"Fuck off." Was his automatic response. He sat on the bed, cloak and jacket and all, and he could feel the tears trying to return because he didn't want Erwin to be comforting him when their were others missing their daughters and sons and husbands and wives.
"It's not your fault-" He doesn't wait for him finish before he lashes out, landing a solid punch right in his face.
"I don't want to hear your fucking speech. That was my hand picked squad! I had them the longest! I don't want your fucking comfort or pity!" He doesn't get any further because he had to focus all his energy in not breaking down into a sobbing, snoting mess.
"It's okay, Levi." Erwin tries to pull him into his arms, but Levi punches his chest. Erwin just grabs his wrists, pinning them between their chests and hugs him. Levi fights, but Erwin is a fucking tree and he's just an ant, which makes Levi laugh, because that's how powerless he feels.
"Ça va." It's so soft he almost misses it, but it's French and it's the only he has left of his parents and Levi just breaks, sobbing as Erwin takes his cloak off and starts undoing straps. Levi tires to move again, he wants to get wasted and not wake up again, but Erwin is his fucking rock and now is the only time he resents it. Erwin helps him into a oversized shirt and Levi realizes it's his, he hates him even more for literally taking the shirt off his back for him.
"Demain sera meilleur," Levi halts when he hears it, first because he didn't know Erwin could speak this much french, probably for him. Secondly because it reminds him of a fire Lantern he has from Isabel and Farlan. He flies off the bed, Erwin makes a surprised sound, but otherwise lets him go, he finds the Lantern and gets a pen from his desk. He sits on the window and carefully writes their names on it, he uses as much care he couldn't give.
He he finishes, he takes the lighter off the nightstand and bolts down the hall. He heads to the back, there is a little hill of green grass and a little pond. Erwin follows him, but he stops short of the pond while Levi strides in it. He grimaces as the water pools at his legs and Levi wish they would grab him and pull him under, but he lights the Lantern and holds it for a moment. It feels like he holds their souls in his hand and suddenly he dosen't want to let it go.
Erwin's hands are under his and Levi looks up. Erwin smiles sadly before he looks up at the clear blue ocean that is the sky. He starts to rise his hands and Levi follows, the Lantern flies towards the sky and they both watch it. Erwin arms warped around Levi.
Later, Erwin carries Levi back to his room head tucked under his chin, Levi whispers "Demain sera meilleur" back and Erwin smiles. Levi curles under his covers and he stops Eriwn when he tires to leave.
"Stay." Erwin does, snuggling with him, he stays awake untill Levi he's sure Levi's asleep before placing a gental kiss on his forhead.
"I'll protect you from your nightmares."