Um…not sure what this is…? A one-shot, I do know that much. And I wanted to put the song Motorcycle-Driveby by Third Eye Blind in here, but I refrained. Curse anyone who curses me for not being original because this is just for fun…not that I'm copying anyone, I just acknowledge that the idea has most likely been used before. –deep breath- That enough disclaimer for you? Carry on.
"Robin?"
He jerked out of that semi-conscious state with an unpleasant jolt; the fact that this voice matched the one from his dream didn't help much either. "Oh…hi, Raven. Must have drifted off for a minute…"
"You've been asleep for an hour…I only woke you up because I thought you might want dinner…"
Raven's eyes bored into him, and he saw the familiar light awake in the violet depths…it was the light she got when she looked at him. The thought brought a lump to his throat. "Oh…yeah, sure. Sounds good." He stood slowly, careful not to make any further eye contact as he shuffled to the table. They were alone…the rest of the team had probably already eaten. This fact was painfully obvious in that moment.
Silence reigned as Robin poked his enchilada half-heartedly, Raven studying the wood swirls in the countertop. He could feel an uncertainty from her, but something else as well…the last thing he needed right now.
"Robin…?"
"Mmm," he mumbled, eyes fixed on his food even though the lump in his throat would have stopped anything that attempted to get past.
Raven just continued to stare at him; he could see the look of confusion out of the corner of his eye, her eyes seeming to expand and fill with question. Jerking slightly, he pulled his gaze away from her once again.
"Is there…is there anything you want to talk about? Anything you want to tell me?" The words were no more than a whisper, a hint of shame escaping in her tone…like a child mumbling some small flaw to their mother in hopes of reassurance.
Robin knew what he had to say. "No, Raven. Everything's fine." Nothing is fine, Raven.
"You're sure…?" These words were even quieter, just the smallest notch away from being nonexistent. He kept his gaze firmly away from hers, knowing what he would see reflected in the amethyst pools.
"Yes." No, Raven. I'm not sure…I'm anything but sure.
They remained like that for what felt like years of time, the silence stretching thin as though begging to be broken, the opportunity extending as though whispering, Sure you don't want to change your mind? It took all the strength he possessed to remain firm in his decision. It just couldn't be. Ever. He was Robin; she was Raven. It…they, could never be.
Raven slowly turned, slowly walked away, slowly shut the door…every movement giving one more chance. When the Boy Wonder failed to move, let alone speak to her, her head bowed gently, becoming lost in the folds of her silken hair as a dark blue hood was drawn up and over. "Goodnight, Robin."
The door closed with a gentle whoosh…And Robin broke.
Three Months Later
They were still friends. They still cared about each other, still spent time with each other…but things were never quite the same. Robin's every move was a lie, a façade, an act, and Raven…in many ways, Raven was broken.
"Never thought I would say this, but…I hate my job."
Robin laughed quietly, looking over at the droopy-eyed and distinctly soggy Raven in the chair across from him. "Amen to that. Some days it just—" he made vigorous strangling motions in the air, drawing a small smile from Raven, "—gets to you."
There was a slight pause in conversation, small and insignificant…yet both began franticly searching for the words to fill it, a level of panic awaking in them. They could no longer sit in silence together…that part of their relationship had been lost forever.
"I've got an idea. We could go get a coffee or something…just to get out of the house. Sound good?" Robin smiled slightly, one hand reaching into his pocket for the keys to his motorcycle.
Raven nodded, smiling slightly. "I could use some caffeine right now…should we check in?"
"Nah. They'll figure it out eventually." Robin walked straight for the door, yet his body language said quite plainly that a more comfortable position would have been arm in arm with the girl behind him. Raven followed him with just as much tension.
Robin drove slowly, by his usual standards, letting the air caress their faces instead of the harsh tearing nature it usually took on. Maybe he was trying to make the ride last longer…something inside him said that it would be the last. "Starbucks?"
"Sure." Raven gripped the bike tightly with her knees, holding onto a strap on the seat instead of its driver. Robin observed this with a hollow ache in his heart, yet he knew perfectly well that it was his doing. His alone.
Blue sky stretched above, a soft sunshine falling over the green of the grass and the deep black of asphalt. The breeze had the slightest nip to it, letting everyone know that fall was just around the corner, and summer was fast departing. Noticing a chill, Robin turned slightly to see Raven leaning back in the seat, eyes closed as both hood and hair fell away from her face, brushed aside by the wind. As though she felt his gaze, Raven took a deep breath and released it slowly, her face taking on the slightest of frowns. "I wonder what a day like this would feel like, if I was…"
"What?" Robin asked, utterly confused. He couldn't think of anything Raven could possibly be that was better than everything she already was.
She smiled, sitting up and opening her eyes as though shaking off the hazy remnants of a dream. "Normal. Human. Like you."
Robin wasn't surprised at her response, yet it still tugged at his heartstrings. Eager to take her mind away from painful subjects, he quipped, "Me? Normal? What Robin do you know?"
She sighed deeply, and he could only imagine the look on her face as she whispered something in-between hearing and silence. "The real one."
The ache increased. "Raven, you are normal. And anything that makes you different is just something that makes you more special. Besides…being human is overrated."
"I'm not like you, Robin. Like it or not, I don't belong here. I'm just a stowaway in a world that will never be mine…" She laughed softly, as though mocking herself, then fell silent. He could only guess that she was abandoning worries to enjoy the last day of summer. In that moment, he felt a horrible and sudden yearning simply to feel her arms around his waist…the world seemed cold without her warmth.
Five Years Later
Robin fought unexpected tears as he stared around at his team. They were gathered in the living room, every face solemn, every eye on him. Seven years of working, living, and loving together…and now it would all end.
"I want you all to know that your part in this team has been highly valued and of individual importance. The mark you, we, have left on this city will not fade or falter. We have taught the people of Jump City what it means to be just, peaceful, orderly. We've showed them another life, a life that they will not easily relinquish. Jump City will remember the Titans…and I will remember you." His voice cracked slightly as he looked away from the eyes of his friends, his family. He had yet to convince himself that he was truly leaving.
Robin laid his hand on the keypad gently, waiting until the small beep told him that Titans Tower was locked down. For the last time.
"This is wrong, Robin."
He flinched, closing his eyes as he delayed the moment that he would have to look at her. Star, Cyborg, and Beast Boy were all waiting by the T-ship, casting wistful glances at the towering structure overlooking the bay. Raven stood by him…just like she always had.
"The Titans are finished, Raven. It's over…we all knew it would happen some day. Now it has." The words sounded rehearsed; in fact, they were. Maybe if he said it enough, he could make it true.
"Don't. You know that's not the real reason. We could have pulled through…just like we always have. We aren't finished…you're quitting. Why, Robin? Why are you doing this?" Raven's voice was harsh, but he knew it was out of sadness and fear rather than anger. If only she was angry with him…it would make this so much easier.
"We aren't the Ti—"
"WHY, Robin?"
Her cry rang out across the water as a lone buoy sounded, the chill wind not he only reason for the goosebumps on his skin. He felt an overwhelming cold inside of him as he at last turned to face her, a single tear slipping from his eye to his lip. "I can't stay here, Raven. I'm going…but I couldn't leave the team here alone. I had to end it…it's for the best." He bit his lip to stop it from trembling. "I'm sorry."
As he turned his back for the last time, Raven standing motionless beside the frigid waters, Robin was sorry. Sorry for what might have been, sorry for leaving, sorry for the fact that he would never see his Raven again…and sorry for the fact that she had never been his in the first place.
Ten Years Later
Gotham City. Smog. Graffiti. Filth. Here the skies were never blue, the air was never clean, and rain, far from renewing the place, brought up all the garbage that had managed to hide somehow. Snow was brown. And friendly faces were few and far between.
Richard Grayson was not staying with Bruce Wayne. His guardian didn't even know he was in the same city as him; in fact, Bruce had no idea where "Robin" had disappeared to. That was how he wanted it. There was no way in hell he'd go back to being the sidekick of some high and mighty overlord. He'd die first.
No, he had no friends in Gotham; just a dingy, one-bedroom apartment in the Narrows. He didn't have a "job", so to speak. He lived off the money he had left from the Titans days. If he used it carefully, it should last for a good time to come. His days were spent indoors mostly, sleeping off the effects of the alcohol he drank freely and the nightly beatings he took in attempting to fight thugs without attracting the attention of the city's official Caped Crusader. His life, he realized with a dry chuckle, had reached rock bottom.
Unfortunately, today's schedule was running a bit differently. There was nothing to drink (or eat, for that matter) in the place, and the winter freeze made blankets a necessity. For the Narrows, indoor heating was no more than a fantasy.
So out onto the city streets went Mr. Grayson, unshaven and huddled in his coat as though resisting any contact with the outside world. He despised this city and its people; he had no reason to be loyal to them. His city had been left behind years and years ago, and no other place on earth could ever affect him as it had. He still missed it, every minute of every day. It wasn't the only thing he missed, either.
He was jolted from his thoughts by a rough shove on the shoulder, causing him to stumble slightly and sway as the world righted itself once again.
"Sorry, I didn't see you."
He froze, his heart beating loudly in his ears as his eyes grew wide. That voice…how was it possible? But no, there she was. "R…Raven?"
Her hair was longer now, violet locks falling to her waist and held back at the sides with small silver clips. The smallest glint of metal shone in the corner of her nose, black eyeliner heavy around deep-set amethyst eyes. Her clothes were dark, fishnet stockings covering her legs and high-heeled black boots reaching to her knees. These, however, weren't the greatest differences. She had a droop about her, like a dead rose that has lost too many of its petals; her eyes were weary and dead-looking. It was almost like looking in a mirror, seeing those eyes.
Confusion creased her brow as she looked him up and down, studying his face carefully. After several minutes, she shook her head as though coming to a conclusion. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"
His stomach clenched as though he were going to vomit, a fire erupting in his chest with unbearable heat and unexplainable cold. Raven didn't know him…and how could she? He had never allowed her to see who he truly was. Without the costume, without the mask, he was just another random individual that carelessness sent her ramming into. Nothing more, nothing less.
"Sir? …Are you alright?" Raven looked slightly worried now, her eyes darting to the left and the right as though looking for an escape, should he turn violent. She must have been here long…at least, long enough to learn how to survive in the treacherous streets of Gotham. She thought he was a mugger…and he had to admit that he looked the part. Fate had been cruel to them both…or maybe he was the one that did that.
"No," he croaked, fighting the lump in his throat and attempting to tear himself away from her eyes. He missed those eyes more than anything else. "No, you don't know me. I…I thought you were…someone else." He told himself to leave, but his body wasn't moving. He just couldn't imagine losing her again…
Raven nodded uncertainly, her eyes looking one last time as though she expected to find something there…at long last, she turned slowly, walking away and glancing back over her shoulder until a turn in the sidewalk blocked her from his view. She was gone…and he let her leave.
He ran, outrunning the tears, outrunning his fears, outrunning the years.
One Week Later
Jump City. Smog. Graffiti. Filth. Here the skies were never blue, the air was never clean, and rain, far from renewing the place, brought up all the garbage that had managed to hide somehow. Snow was brown. And friendly faces were few and far between.
A blood red sun was staining the horizon as Richard Grayson stepped onto the small, deserted island, possessing nothing but long-cherished hopes, now dead and bleeding inside him. There was nothing left of the city that he had loved.
"I want you all to know that your part in this team has been highly valued and of individual importance. The mark you, we, have left on this city will not fade or falter. We have taught the people of Jump City what it means to be just, peaceful, orderly. We've showed them another life, a life that they will not easily relinquish. Jump City will remember the Titans…and I will remember you."
He lied. The people did not preserve justice, they didn't fight for the rights the Teen Titans had won for them with sweat, blood, and tears so very long ago. They had thrown it all away and allowed themselves to rot in filth, their morals just as decayed as the city around them. There was no lasting mark. There was no tribute. All had been forgotten the moment they—he—left.
Desperate tears sprang to blood-shot eyes as he looked upon the destruction of his world. Windows were shattered and coated with grime, the bottom level covered with a foot of water, an empty soda can floating in the stagnant water. The door and a good portion of the wall around it had been blown off.
"The burgers are cheese, the dogs are hot, and the fireworks are about to begin!"
"So, my fellow couch-potatoes, what'll it be? Super Ninja Showdown 8 or Maniac Fury: Attack of the Protozoids?"
Gone.
Rolling thunder shook the ground beneath him as lightning split the sky, dark clouds obscuring the setting sun. Cold drops of rain fell like tears from the heavens, soaking through his clothes and burning against his skin, mingling with the tears and dirt on his face. The cold was almost welcome; now his body matched his heart.
"No, Raven. Everything's fine."
Um…you like? All my one-shots seem to turn out depressing, but I suppose I knew that would be inevitable from the start. Hopefully you enjoyed this somewhat…I liked writing it. Doing something like this helps to clear my head for the really big stuff. I will hopefully be updating Dark Corners and possibly even Catalyst, so watch for that. -Dusty