Lead Me Back to Normalcy

Summary: In the aftermath of it all, Asgard has settled down, but within the confines of the royal palace, everything is not fine. Thor worries of Jane and fears that he will return when she is an old woman. Sigyn-Loki's wife from Norse mythology-mourns for his loss and the target of many conspiracies. To aid each other, a new alliance is made, but at the cost of new enemies. But love is worth fighting for, it is the only real thing left in either Asgard and Earth.

A/N: I really wanted to do this story after seeing Thor. We know Thor has his love Jane, but what of if Loki had a love? With some research, I found he did have an ever faithful wife named Sigyn! Put 'em together and you get a story!

'Tis Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.

Chapter One: Hallucinations

Thor stood on the edge of the bifrost, gazing endlessly at the water. The strands of his hair moved with the current. His brows were burrowed next to each other in frustration. Why could the guard see Jane but not he? It felt unfair; it was unfair! His knuckles bled white as he wrapped his pudgy fingers around the edges. His mouth turned into a scowl, creating deep wrinkles that could rival his father's.

Above him, the sky was dark. The moon shone brighter than the stars, making them look pale in comparison to its grey beauty. Everything was alit by its light; that which was not was drowning in the shadows, and such was the fate of Thor. To his right side, the moon gave him light, but the shadows evenly ate the rest of his body. He was a stark contrast to the prince of Asgard. Asgard's glimmering gold city in the background reminded him of that harsh reality.

"You still mourn for her."

The hollow, feminine voice barely registered in his ears. Like a statue, he remained still. No words could move him, not even his father's. The only thing that could stir him would be news that he would be capable of seeing Jane. That was all he was capable of thinking, she was the only thought on his mind as of late, in a way, justifiably so since she was human. Humans aged so quickly that he had no idea as to whether she was an old lady by now or still her young, blossoming self.

"Do not be so cold as to ignore me, Thor," the voice repeated. "Do not be as ignorant to believe you are the only one who mourns for a loss."

For the first time, an audile sigh came from Thor. His head was casted in her shadow as he turned to see the young, twenty-four year-old Sigyn. Her gangly form was drowned in the beige dress. The ruffles in the front from her hood concealed her small breasts. A mahogany belt was pulled over her waist, revealing how sickly small she had become. The long sleeves ate up her soft, delicate hands. The shadow casted over her face concealed her icy gray eyes. Only the bottom of her long, angled face was visible. She looked just as hollow as her voice, perhaps more so.

"He had a choice and chose not to live," Thor muttered. He quiet for a moment, watching her. As a few tears streaked into the light, he quickly covered his face in shame. "I am sorry, Sigyn. I was wrong to say that." Pulling his hand away, he reached for her hand. Her hand was as cold as the air between them. Thor squeezed gently but was not met with any response. Yet, a warm liquid rolled across his thumb and slid down his hand, down his arm.

Blood!

He immediately released his hand! The god stared at his hand, too stunned to believe what he saw. With demanding eyes he looked to Sigyn, but she had already turned her head away. The rest of her body followed the motion. "It's not what you think," she stated coolly. "I am not inflicting damage upon myself, Thor. I gave you my word that I would stop, and so I did."

"Then what is this?" he asked sternly as he stood. He stood, towering over her small 5'1" height. She was so tiny that she seemed to be able to disappear. In the eyes many, she had. It appeared the only times anyone ever saw Sigyn was when she wanted to appear. Thor could not criticize the Asgardian for her actions. Anytime she appeared in public, people would murmur and speculate about what she knew of Loki's plans.

"It is from an old wound," she answered. "The damn wound will heal partially and then begin to bleed again on its own." She curled her hands around either of her forearms. The wind blew threw her, taking with it her hood. Sigyn's snowy blonde hair blew freely behind her like a second cape. Against her fair skin, there was no contrast. Her entire form seemed to be bland as a result.

"This sounds like an exaggeration," Thor responded. He came from behind and placed his mighty arms around her body. He braced her as she leaned into his warmth. She lifted her head to him, exposing her long, giraffe-like neck. "Now tell me, where is this blood from?"

Her eyes glittered with water as she stared up to him. "The blood is from an old wound, Thor," she repeated. "I am not lying, but where from, I will not tell."

He hugged her tighter, trying to grasp what little of her there was to grasp. Slowly, ever so slowly, a smile crept onto her pale lips. She closed her eyes as Thor protected her from the berating wind. "You need not tell, Sigyn. Not today," he assured. He breathed into the top of her crown and picked up the vague, spicy, peppery scent of his brother. Perhaps it would be the last time he would ever smell his brother. "You smell like him," he commented.

"I wear his shirt beneath this haggard dress," she replied. "His scent helps me sleep."

"But not tonight," Thor interjected.

She shook her head. "No, not tonight. I miss his warmth in bed. I am cold without him there," Sigyn confessed. "My mind wonders and I consider whether or not I should have seen it coming. Often, I think I could have, I did, but choose not to see it." Thor sighed, pulling on her tighter. She took breathed a deep breath; though, it came out more as a half sob. With a few smaller breaths to keep her from crying, she rested her head on his chest. "We had not been intimate in weeks, Thor," she added softly, almost ashamed.

"You will learn to live pass this," Thor encouraged. "You will be happy again."

She went stiff in his arms. Bitterly she moved out of his embrace. "You say this because your lover is alive," she retorted. "If she were not, then you would be in the same state I am in. You will be in my state when she does die. Maybe then, you will understand my pain." She took a deep breath before licking her thin lips. "But I hope not. You deserve to see your human—"

"Her name is Jane," he reminded for what felt like the thousandth time.

"You deserve to see Jane," she corrected. "After all you went through, it is the least you deserve, the very least. Will you tell me of her again?"

Thor's eyes had an extra glimmer in them as she spoke Jane's name so fondly. He smirked, and then smiled as an image of his beloved crept into his mind. "Why," he asked lightly, "Do you wish to know so much about, Jane? I have told you all about her as of now."

With a guilty smile, Sigyn blushed. "Because, you speak of her like Loki spoke of me," she admitted sullenly.

Thor backed away from the young girl. His eyes narrowed upon her again. "Do not think like that, Sigyn!" He criticized. "That is a dangerous fantasy—"

"No more dangerous than your obsession with Jane," the girl countered venomously. She walked towards him, pushing him towards the ledge of the bifrost. "He is—was my husband, Thor. I had known him all my life, given him all of me, and now I am without that." The last of her words began to crumble into sobs. The tears ran faster down her face than he had ever seen and harder than his mother's.

Thor felt disgust roll through his stomach at his own lack of sympathy. Sigyn had married his brother when she was just a girl. No matter how many times his brother had strayed from her, he had always come back to her. In return she would always wait for him, no matter how many people would tell her that Loki would die. She was eternally faithful to him, but he would never be able to return the gesture, not again.

Thor could no fathom the concept being without his loved one ever again. While the possibility was real, he would not be able to realize the truth until that moment happened. But Sigyn, she faced the reality of a life without Loki … and without any answers as to why he had diverted from his normal self. So many secrets were still kept from her, not just from Loki but all of the royal family and elite guard.

Thor gripped her again and swept the young woman into his arms. She was light, too light to be healthy. "You need sleep," he muttered as he carried her across the bifrost to Asgard's warm city walls. "Then you will feel better, Sigyn. This I promise."

She was limp in his arms, her head resting in the nook between his breastplate and his arm. "But sleep only brings me more pain, Thor," she whispered. "I dream of Loki and wake to him gone. This is not like his other trickeries that are funny. This is awful and he knows it."

"You speak of him as if he is alive," Thor mentioned.

Sigyn was quiet. Her body was lax in Thor's arms, which was a great relief. Since Loki's suicide, all her muscles had been tense from the sorrow and ached from the tears. Now … now all she felt was relief in his arms. Through half-closed eyes, Thor's face became that of Loki. His sharp, angled face was clear as day to her. Every aspect of him was there in perfect detail. A pained smile dawned her face at his sight. "Only because it feels like it," she muttered, savoring the image of Loki. "Will you sleep beside me tonight, Thor?" she inquired weakly. "Perhaps that will help."

He looked down at the tired girl. The dark circles around her eyes had grown in the weeks he had missed her. She seemed so close to death without his brother there. A fire burned inside his chest at his brother's selfishness. He could not understand how Loki could leave Sigyn for good. Was his selfishness that great as to allow his other loved ones to suffer? "Of course," Thor answered. "Anything to help my sister-in-law."

"And will you tell me of Jane?" she added.

"Yes," he replied. "But mind you, to know her as well as I do, you'll have to meet her."

She chuckled lightly. "That can be arranged," Sigyn responded. "I will ask Loki tonight when I see him. He will know of a way to get there without the bifrost."

Thor stopped at her words, contemplating them for a moment. "There's no way to get to Earth but by the bifrost," he answered; his voice was little shaper than he would have liked. He looked down at her, but her response would not come. So exhausted, Sigyn had fallen to sleep within a matter of moments. The god was careful to walk lightly, not to stir her from her dreams. Perhaps, he wondered, there were other ways to reach Earth. If there were, then Loki would know… But would Sigyn's hallucination of his brother know?