"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." -James Baldwin

Light filtered into the tiny room through the partially uncovered window, its beams touching all it could before slipping once more in darkness further within. What you could see, however, was a floor, hazardously littered with dirty clothes, a dresser with drawers dislodged, a bed unmade.

In the midst of the dirty clothes, sitting cross-legged on the floor, laptop resting on knees, was me. My eyes scanned the lit up screen with annoyance, backspacing relentlessly. The words before me just didn't seem right; they weren't good enough to describe what I was picturing in my head. I scowled the screen again before just exiting the document without saving.

My home screen greeted me, a picture that always made me both happy and sad. It was a picture that had been taken nearly three years ago, one of the whole family. It had a vacation to the beach, the last vacation, actually, we'd ever go on together. Mom and dad sat on towels across the sand, holding hands. I kneeled with my hands on both their shoulders between them. And then there was Anna, sprawled out across their legs making the goofiest face she could.

I think that had been the last time I'd truly been happy.

I sighed and closed the screen, blinking as the light I'd been staring at for probably two hours disappeared. The room was so quiet, the house was so still. It didn't even seem like Anna was home, though I knew she was. School had been over for hours now.

I tossed the laptop onto the bed and stood, stretching as I did. It probably wasn't good for me to sit in the floor so long; but after everything that had happened I didn't see where it really mattered either. Not like anyone cared.

Slipping from my room, I stopped and listened silently. Faintly, I could make out footsteps downstairs. Good. I didn't really want to be alone; it just seemed easier that way. Anna was always trying to be optimistic and happy. She believed wholeheartedly everything would be okay. But I didn't.

I hadn't in a while.

It only took a moment to get down the stairs and enter the kitchen. And there was Anna, standing at a counter cutting up an apple. She still had her red hair in the bun she always wore to school, the pale blue hoody I'd given her and tight jeans her choice of clothing. She turned at the sound of my approach, and I couldn't help smiling.

Her eyes, the most beautiful shade of teal, brightened. Her pink lips curved up into their own smile. She set down the knife and met me at the doorway, slinging her arms around me in a hug. "Hey, Els. You okay now?"

I nodded against her shoulder as I returned the gesture. She was referring to this morning. I'd been so angry and depressed for no reason I'd refused to go to school or even get up for that matter. Anna had had to take the bus, given as how I'd normally drive her and myself to the high school.

She pulled back and took my hands, squeezing them gently. Her eyes portrayed all the love she felt for me, and I felt grateful I'd chosen to come down.

"You hungry? We don't have much; I'm going to have to go to the store soon. But I'm sure we'd have something you wanted." She pulled away and went back to the counter, back to slicing the apple.

I cleared my throat and went to the table, sat down. "No, I'm fine."

She looked back over her shoulder. "Els, you haven't even eaten today, have you?"

I didn't want to lie, but I didn't want to worry her. "Yeah, um, I had that last can of chicken noodle soup for lunch."

Anna frowned and laid down the knife, wiped her hands on a hand towel she'd set close by. Then she picked up the plate the apple slices were on and came to the table, sitting across from me.

"So, if I check the cupboard, it's not going to be there?" she asked, leaning back.

I cleared my throat again and shrugged. "No?" But it sounded like a question, and I knew it. Anna huffed and shook her head. She slid the plate over.

"Eat," she instructed.

I stared at the slices then shook my head, slid the plate back across to her. "No, I'm fine, really. Not hungry."

She frowned, her cheeks puffing up adorably as she began to pout. "Please, Elsie. If you love me you will." Her eyes looked so watery, like she was about to bust out crying. I groaned and took back the plate. Curse her adorableness.

"Okay, okay." I took up a slice. "But you have to eat too."

She grinned, all signs of having just nearly been in tears passed. I took a bite of my slice of the apple only once she'd done so first.

We ate in silence a moment, and I noticed a few things I hadn't at first. Like how she was wearing eyeliner; it actually didn't look bad on her. But she'd powered her cheeks and nose, attempting to hide the dozens of freckles that lay upon them. This made me frown. If there was one thing I loved most about Anna, it was her freckles.

"Why did you try to hide your freckles?" I asked without thinking.

She looked up at me in surprise. "What?"

Maybe my tone was a bit sharp, but really, why would she do that? Mom always said freckles were where angels had kissed you. And heaven knew if there was one person who deserved the angels' love, it was Anna.

"Your freckles. You're covering them."

She blinked, her fingers coming to her face as if startled. "Oh, that. I just thought I'd look better without freckles."

I scowled the table top and stood quickly, going to her side. She gaped at me as I bent down and took her chin with one hand, used the sleeve of my shirt of my other arm to wipe away the powder from her face.

"Don't do that again," I muttered when I stepped back.

She stared open mouthed at me, her face coloring only faintly. Then her mouth shut closed and she nodded, eyes falling to her lap.

"Sorry. I know how much you like them I just thought, you know,..." she tried to explain.

I sighed and shook my head, sitting back down across from her. "It's okay. I'm sorry I was so forceful." Now it was my turn to look down. "It was just, I don't like change, I guess."

She looked back up, a small smile on her lips. "I know. I won't do it again, I promise."

We sat in silence a moment before I stood and took the plate to the counter, slipped the knife into the sink. "Do you have homework?" I asked without turning.

Silence a second. Then, "Yes. Do you think you can help me?"

I leaned against the counter on my palms. "Depends. What subjects?"

"Biology and algebra." I winced at this. My weakest subjects.

"You'd probably be smarter to text a friend or something. I suck at those," I murmured, turning.

She looked at me pleadingly. "Please. I'd much rather you helped. Besides, Kristoff doesn't understand anymore than me, Olaf doesn't have my classes, and Hans has a football game tonight."

I groaned and ran a hand through my platinum blonde hair, which was currently loose. "Okay, okay. I'll see what I can do."

Anna beamed. "Thanks, sis. I'll do the dishes, then we can get started. You mind starting the laundry?"

I thought of my disheveled room and immediately nodded. "Sure."

Anna jumped up, and to my surprise placed a chaste kiss to my cheek as she reached for the sink faucet. "Thanks. You're the best."

I felt my face flush and nodded. "Yeah, any time."

Trying something a bit different. Don't know how it'll turn out but chancing it (: thanks guys, Marybeth over and out