It was a beautiful sunny day. In fact, it was the most beautiful, sunniest day of the whole entire year. The white sand sparkled like crushed diamonds, the ocean, filled to the brim with cheery dolphins and multicolored fish, seemed to literally shout 'Come, swim in my refreshing waters!' The palm tree fronds were at their greenest green, offering comfortable, refreshing shade from the delicious golden sun.

Not that Tulio and Miguel would have noticed, however. To them, every day was like the next: perfect, in one South American paradise after the other. Yes, Tulio thought, life was perfect.

Except for one tiny thing.

"Miguel?" Miguel woke up with a start, jumping to his feet, sword ready for action.

"Whozare?" he slurred. "I'll take all of you with my hands tied behind my – "

"Miguel," sighed Tulio. "That's a banana. Your swords back at the hut."

"Oh." Miguel looked down at the slightly green banana, shrugged, and tossed it with gay abandon back in the forest. "Sorry bout that." He smiled widely, sitting back down next to Tulio. "Did you call?"

Tulio began mentally preparing himself. This wasn't something he'd wanted to do, but it had to be done. And, at the present time, it appeared he was the only man for the job. "Yes, I did," he said. "Miguel…"

Miguel sensed the ominous tone in his friends voice. His eyebrows puckered, his eyes growing worried. "What is it?" he asked.

"It's about…" Tulio swallowed hard, reaching out and clasping Miguel's shoulder.

"Yes? Go on?"

"Your hair."

Silence.

"…My hair?"

"Yes."

"What about it?"

"Well…" Tulio squirmed uncomfortably. "There's rather a lot of it."

"Yes." Miguel's eyes darkened. He was beginning to see where this was going. "And?"

"And I think…" Tulio threw caution to the winds, pulling out the pair of scissors he'd been so carefully concealing and leaping at Miguel like a rabid hyena. "You need to cut it already!!!!"

"AAAAAAH!!!!" Miguel toppled backwards under Tulio's weight, screaming like a little girl. "Not the scissors! Not the scissors! Tulio, you know how I feel about – away from my face, away from my face – "

"Keep – still – " grunted Tulio, finally grabbing the end of Miguel's golden blonde ponytail. "It'll all be over soon and then we'll both feel better."
"Ever since that one beautiful midsummer's eve with my mother and seven sisters and the pocketwatch and that rather unfortunate coconut pie," babbled Miguel. "And then with the horse, and the monkey, and the streamers, and the screaming." Tulio brandished his weapon. Miguel squeezed his eyes shut. "And then the enormous fat lady with fire hose AND UNCLE TED NOOOOOOO!!!!"
Snip.

"See?" Tulio said, panting for breath. "Isn't that better?"