- The Secret, by Dessi -
- Rating - PG
- Time Frame - Just after AotC
- Feedback - I'd love some, please tell me where I need to improve this, please? :D
- Summery - Obi-Wan discovers that his Padawan has been keeping a dark secret from him.
- Disclaimer - Everyone knows Star Wars belongs to George Lucas, and if you don't then where have you been? :)
******
Obi-Wan watched in silence as the ship landed on the platform. He had been able to sense his apprentice a while ago, as the ship had entered orbit, but now he could feel Anakin's emotions as much as he could feel his own.
As soon as Anakin stepped out of the craft, Obi-Wan began walking towards him. The gleaming metal hand that now ended Anakins right arm stood out harshly, no matter how hard Anakin had tried to pull his lose cloak sleeves down to hide it. In his human hand, Anakin held a small case, which Obi-Wan had never seen before.
"Master" Anakin greeted his mentor in his usual way, as Obi-Wan tried to take the case off him. When Anakin held on even tighter to the container, Obi-Wan instead grasped his padawan's arm, and led him towards the entrance of the looming Jedi temple.
"Anakin, what's taken you so long?" the older Jedi asked, in a low voice.
"I'm sorry, Master, I was held up."
"Not by another droid I hope."
"Not exactly" Anakin replied, and when he smiled, his eyes brightened, as if he held a wonderful secret. "I do know the way" Anakin shook the arm that Obi-Wan held and stared at the hand that gripped him urgently. But Obi-Wan seemed not to notice, and instead stared intently at the corridor before them.
Finally, they reached their shared room, and Obi-Wan pushed Anakin through the door first. "You were gone longer than I expected, Padawan. The council are waiting for you."
"Is that why you rushed me here? Master, I just got back, and you haven't even greeted me yet." Anakin opened the door to his own sleeping space, and laid the case down carefully.
"Hello Anakin" Obi-Wan said in a low tone, a tone Anakin had heard enough times in his life to know what it meant.
"What have I done now?" he asked trying to lighten his Master's mood. For a long moment, Obi-Wan didn't reply. He studied Anakin thoughtfully, a dark expression on his face, and the Padawan shifted slightly under the gaze.
"Honestly, Anakin, I don't know. I am concerned about you, you know. Something has changed in you, that's obvious. I don't know why, and I have a feeling that you don't want me to know, but the council will sense it too."
Anakin suddenly turned his back on Obi-Wan, and stalked to the window, his arms held behind him. "Why must you all treat me like I'm still a child? I'm not, I don't need you, or the council, to be with me every second of my life. If anything, you're pushing me away, and maybe that's why I've changed. I've realised that I don't need you." Obi-Wan folded his arms, ready to repremand the youth, but Anakin pushed past him roughly and went out the door.
****
It was hours before Anakin returned. Obi-Wan had paced restlessly around the confined quarters, and was now sitting, stiffly and exhausted, on the couch.
Anakin stood in the doorway, a storm of emotions apparent in his eyes. But he didn't speak. He waited.
Slowly, his master stood to face him, a look of almost anger lining his face. In his hand, he held the open case.
When Anakin saw it, his face flushed with anger, and before he could stop himself, he yelled, "You had no right to open that!" He felt exposed, and betrayed, one of only two people Anakin completely trusted, had just ripped something from him.
"And you have no right to talk to me in that manner" Obi-Wan replied sharply. He carefully removed something from the case with a trembling hand, and held it up. "This belongs to Padme, Padawan, why do you have it?"
"Because she gave it to me, do you think I would steal it from her the night we said goodbye?"
"Anakin, this is a charine, I know what it means. On Naboo, it's given by a wife to-"
Before he could finish, his apprentice moved and quickly tore the small object from his hand.
"Anakin! Were you and the Senator-"
"Married? Yes, Master" Anakin spat wildly, and once again turned his back on Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan grabbed Anakins arm, and turned the younger Jedi to face him. "How could you be so foolish? No, I know you've always been reckless, doing without thinking, Anakin do you realise what you've done? What I've done? I knew I should have gone with you, but I wanted you to say goodbye to her alone. I should have known something like this would have happened. But I thought she, at least, would have had more sense that this!"
Anakin swung his arm so his Master would have to let go of it, and backed away. "Don't talk of her like that! I love her! She was there for me when you weren't, what did you expect?"
"Anakin, I've always been here for you, ever since..."
"Qui-Gon died?" Anakin finished for him in a harsh and bitter tone. "Sometimes I wish he hadn't, he would have been there, understood me more. He freed me, and tried to save my mother, which is more than I can say for you!"
For a strained heartbeat, a look crossed Obi-Wan's eyes, and Anakin feared that he had gone too far. He tried to swallow the emotions he felt, he silently vowed to himself that he wouldn't show weakness, not now, but against his efforts, tears started to form in his stinging eyes. Qui-Gon may have saved him, but Obi-Wan had taken him in against the council's wishes, and raised him all these years.
Both of them relaxed their posture for a moment, and the older Knight ran his hand through his hair. "What happened, Anakin, when I wasn't there for you? Maybe you're right, maybe things would be different if... but Force knows, this is how it's turned out. You've turned your back on me again, before talking to me. Help me to understand."
Anakin sighed a frustrated sigh, and rubbed his tired eyes, letting the slightest sign of his emotions flow coldly down his cheek. "I didn't mean to do it Master. I never meant... I never meant for any of this to happen." Now bitter tears began to flow steadily, and inside, a flood of repressed emotions and painful memories clashed. Anakin threw the delicate charine, symbol of the marriage vows he had taken with Padme, across the room with all his strength. It smashed, and scattered on the floor in a thousand pieces.
"I killed them." he said simply, staring at the tiny shards.
The tears stopped, and Anakin dropped to the floor, all his emotions exhausted. He felt as if there were nothing left of him anymore.
Obi-Wan gently lowered himself to his apprentice's height, a shocked yet concerned look upon his face. "Anakin, what are you saying? Who did..."
"I found her there. She was... hurt and bleeding, and there was nothing I could do about it. I held her in my arms, I couldn't even try and heal her with the Force, I... just couldn't. I never thought that she would die, never thought it would happen in my arms, and in that way. She was my mother, and there was nothing I could do for her.
"When she... I felt like nothing in the universe mattered anymore except the feelings I had inside me. I was so angry, and hurt, and lost. I was alone, Obi-Wan. There was nothing, except me, and what I wanted was to make them pay. All of them." Anakin forced himself to his feet, and quickly Obi-Wan rose too, and tried to catch his apprentice by his shoulders. But Anakin was past him and out of the door before Obi-Wan could touch him, or say anything.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan called, "come back here, now."
"Never" Anakin vowed to himself, as he walked silently towards the platform.
- Rating - PG
- Time Frame - Just after AotC
- Feedback - I'd love some, please tell me where I need to improve this, please? :D
- Summery - Obi-Wan discovers that his Padawan has been keeping a dark secret from him.
- Disclaimer - Everyone knows Star Wars belongs to George Lucas, and if you don't then where have you been? :)
******
Obi-Wan watched in silence as the ship landed on the platform. He had been able to sense his apprentice a while ago, as the ship had entered orbit, but now he could feel Anakin's emotions as much as he could feel his own.
As soon as Anakin stepped out of the craft, Obi-Wan began walking towards him. The gleaming metal hand that now ended Anakins right arm stood out harshly, no matter how hard Anakin had tried to pull his lose cloak sleeves down to hide it. In his human hand, Anakin held a small case, which Obi-Wan had never seen before.
"Master" Anakin greeted his mentor in his usual way, as Obi-Wan tried to take the case off him. When Anakin held on even tighter to the container, Obi-Wan instead grasped his padawan's arm, and led him towards the entrance of the looming Jedi temple.
"Anakin, what's taken you so long?" the older Jedi asked, in a low voice.
"I'm sorry, Master, I was held up."
"Not by another droid I hope."
"Not exactly" Anakin replied, and when he smiled, his eyes brightened, as if he held a wonderful secret. "I do know the way" Anakin shook the arm that Obi-Wan held and stared at the hand that gripped him urgently. But Obi-Wan seemed not to notice, and instead stared intently at the corridor before them.
Finally, they reached their shared room, and Obi-Wan pushed Anakin through the door first. "You were gone longer than I expected, Padawan. The council are waiting for you."
"Is that why you rushed me here? Master, I just got back, and you haven't even greeted me yet." Anakin opened the door to his own sleeping space, and laid the case down carefully.
"Hello Anakin" Obi-Wan said in a low tone, a tone Anakin had heard enough times in his life to know what it meant.
"What have I done now?" he asked trying to lighten his Master's mood. For a long moment, Obi-Wan didn't reply. He studied Anakin thoughtfully, a dark expression on his face, and the Padawan shifted slightly under the gaze.
"Honestly, Anakin, I don't know. I am concerned about you, you know. Something has changed in you, that's obvious. I don't know why, and I have a feeling that you don't want me to know, but the council will sense it too."
Anakin suddenly turned his back on Obi-Wan, and stalked to the window, his arms held behind him. "Why must you all treat me like I'm still a child? I'm not, I don't need you, or the council, to be with me every second of my life. If anything, you're pushing me away, and maybe that's why I've changed. I've realised that I don't need you." Obi-Wan folded his arms, ready to repremand the youth, but Anakin pushed past him roughly and went out the door.
****
It was hours before Anakin returned. Obi-Wan had paced restlessly around the confined quarters, and was now sitting, stiffly and exhausted, on the couch.
Anakin stood in the doorway, a storm of emotions apparent in his eyes. But he didn't speak. He waited.
Slowly, his master stood to face him, a look of almost anger lining his face. In his hand, he held the open case.
When Anakin saw it, his face flushed with anger, and before he could stop himself, he yelled, "You had no right to open that!" He felt exposed, and betrayed, one of only two people Anakin completely trusted, had just ripped something from him.
"And you have no right to talk to me in that manner" Obi-Wan replied sharply. He carefully removed something from the case with a trembling hand, and held it up. "This belongs to Padme, Padawan, why do you have it?"
"Because she gave it to me, do you think I would steal it from her the night we said goodbye?"
"Anakin, this is a charine, I know what it means. On Naboo, it's given by a wife to-"
Before he could finish, his apprentice moved and quickly tore the small object from his hand.
"Anakin! Were you and the Senator-"
"Married? Yes, Master" Anakin spat wildly, and once again turned his back on Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan grabbed Anakins arm, and turned the younger Jedi to face him. "How could you be so foolish? No, I know you've always been reckless, doing without thinking, Anakin do you realise what you've done? What I've done? I knew I should have gone with you, but I wanted you to say goodbye to her alone. I should have known something like this would have happened. But I thought she, at least, would have had more sense that this!"
Anakin swung his arm so his Master would have to let go of it, and backed away. "Don't talk of her like that! I love her! She was there for me when you weren't, what did you expect?"
"Anakin, I've always been here for you, ever since..."
"Qui-Gon died?" Anakin finished for him in a harsh and bitter tone. "Sometimes I wish he hadn't, he would have been there, understood me more. He freed me, and tried to save my mother, which is more than I can say for you!"
For a strained heartbeat, a look crossed Obi-Wan's eyes, and Anakin feared that he had gone too far. He tried to swallow the emotions he felt, he silently vowed to himself that he wouldn't show weakness, not now, but against his efforts, tears started to form in his stinging eyes. Qui-Gon may have saved him, but Obi-Wan had taken him in against the council's wishes, and raised him all these years.
Both of them relaxed their posture for a moment, and the older Knight ran his hand through his hair. "What happened, Anakin, when I wasn't there for you? Maybe you're right, maybe things would be different if... but Force knows, this is how it's turned out. You've turned your back on me again, before talking to me. Help me to understand."
Anakin sighed a frustrated sigh, and rubbed his tired eyes, letting the slightest sign of his emotions flow coldly down his cheek. "I didn't mean to do it Master. I never meant... I never meant for any of this to happen." Now bitter tears began to flow steadily, and inside, a flood of repressed emotions and painful memories clashed. Anakin threw the delicate charine, symbol of the marriage vows he had taken with Padme, across the room with all his strength. It smashed, and scattered on the floor in a thousand pieces.
"I killed them." he said simply, staring at the tiny shards.
The tears stopped, and Anakin dropped to the floor, all his emotions exhausted. He felt as if there were nothing left of him anymore.
Obi-Wan gently lowered himself to his apprentice's height, a shocked yet concerned look upon his face. "Anakin, what are you saying? Who did..."
"I found her there. She was... hurt and bleeding, and there was nothing I could do about it. I held her in my arms, I couldn't even try and heal her with the Force, I... just couldn't. I never thought that she would die, never thought it would happen in my arms, and in that way. She was my mother, and there was nothing I could do for her.
"When she... I felt like nothing in the universe mattered anymore except the feelings I had inside me. I was so angry, and hurt, and lost. I was alone, Obi-Wan. There was nothing, except me, and what I wanted was to make them pay. All of them." Anakin forced himself to his feet, and quickly Obi-Wan rose too, and tried to catch his apprentice by his shoulders. But Anakin was past him and out of the door before Obi-Wan could touch him, or say anything.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan called, "come back here, now."
"Never" Anakin vowed to himself, as he walked silently towards the platform.