Chapter 1: It's not To Love-ru, Idiot!
"So... What you're saying is that you don't know Academy City!?"
A boy in his teens asked a man in his thirties.
"I already told you kid, there is no such thing as a 'Academy City' here in Japan..." He said scratching his head in incredulousness. After that he sighed. "Well... As far as I know, that is."
"As.. far.. as.. I.. know...?" The boy repeated those words like a broken tape recorder. Digesting each and every syllable slowly.
"Yeah, you don't have to repeat it." He waved his hand, giving the boy a 'shoo shoo' wave, signaling the end of the conversation. "Now run along before I do something I don't wan't to. It's still school hours you know. You're lucky I'm in a good mood today, so I'll let you off for today with just a warning."
"Um...? Thanks?" The boy could only give a weird smile at that, as he turned around and left.
And that was the last of the conversation that had just haphazardly happened. As the boy ran off to the street. His spiky hair flew against the wind as he glanced back towards the police man. It was a very odd sight since asking someone in authority was one of the last things the boy would have done, if he was in any normal circumstance that is.
While on the other hand, the older of the two just sighed as he scratched his cheek, he had a face that was filled with nostalgia. 'Ah... youth, I remember when I skipped classes back in my high school days... those were the days.' He nodded his head as he watched the disappearing form of the delinquent looking boy.
And so it was back to square one, being lost. Kamijou Touma was never really the most fortunate guy in the world, in fact he is even considered as a very misfortunate boy in the eyes of everyone he knows. So being lost was nothing new to him. Lost in life, and in love, how misfortunate.
And why was he lost in the first place? Well, Kamijou also doesn't know the exact answer to that. One moment he was at his certain high school listening to his teacher's lecture like he usually did, i.e. sleeping in class, and the next he was standing in the middle of the street. Of a city he has never even heard of.
Or so what he could recall, for some strange reason his memories felt very hazy.
...
Fuyuki city. That was what the police man told him with a very quizzical look. He didn't know why, but that name sounded eerily familiar.
But the real question was that why was he here in the first place. Maybe it was some kind of supernatural occurrence that defies logic happened. Whatever it was, first he must investigate.
Well, that was the only thing he could do in a place unknown to him.
...
"I hate my luck." And now we're here. Sitting on a swing set by the playground. The boy had been walking for a few hours now. He was mentally and physically tired. He had been looking for clues for a while now, and also asking random strangers about things. And so far, no lead to anywhere.
As far as he could tell, he was either in a backwater community that barely knows the outside world or in a completely different world for that matter, since for some reason, all the people he questioned from young to old didn't even know the existence of Academy city.
Which was very weird. 'How can someone who lives in Japan not know what Academy city is.' And those were the words that was occupying his head.
Unless some powerful supernatural being warped the world into making one of the most renowned cities in the world, disappear.
Like magic!
If it was.
...
He could only sigh again, with his luck, that was something that was completely possible. The boy stood up, there was no point in waisting time anymore. Giving a condescending laugh to himself, he stared of listlessly towards the sky.
"Maybe..."
Walking towards the exit, a random tingling sensation went up in his spine. A weird kind of feeling, something that couldn't be put into words.
Like the proverbial light bulb suddenly appearing over the head. It was telling him something, something important. If he had just followed this instinctual feeling, there would have been a lot less misfortune for the boy to come.
But he didn't, he just told himself that it was just his tired self acting up again. Big mistake.
A pain suddenly lit up at the back of his head. Something that completely took him by surprise. His world went dizzy.
"Gaah!"
He knew this feeling, being used to getting hit by it already. The feeling of rubber and compressed air.
A basket ball.
He would have complained more about his unending misfortune if it wasn't for the fact that the ball had hit him with a force powerful enough to make him jerk forward.
Normally he would have easily balanced himself, but being caught unguarded and the fact he was physically and mentally tired today only added to the bad luck of him falling face first without stopping the momentum.
But it seems that fate wasn't done with him, as if mocking him, at just the right moment a person suddenly appeared in front of him. Clueless about everything that had just happened, said person only noticed the falling boy when it was already too late.
With a loud thud and a small oomph. The two ended up in a stumbled mess on the ground. In a less than wholesome position.
And that something that he was now in a very dangerous position with was a...
Guy.
"Kyaah!"
An admittedly girlish sounding guy.
How did he know it was guy?
Well, Kamijou Touma was no stranger to instances like this, it would even be normal to say that he was already an expert on things like this.
And from the feeling of the ribs on his nose and the lack there off of certain mammary glands that are commonly seen on the female species, and certain voluptuous males, i.e. fat. No offense.
He was definitely one hundred percent sure that this certain person he was currently motor-boating was in fact a guy. No contest about that. Cannot be argued whatsoever. No questions asked.
Which was a huge disappointment in his hormonal teenage side and a huge relief on his other normal day to day survival instincts part of himself side.
After a while the unknown person snapped out from the daze he was unluckily enough inflicted with.
"Get off me you idiot!"
The certain person under him shouted in an angry manner, which was normal when you're being used as a futon by a sixteen year old boy unwillingly.
And so like a normal gentleman would, and that's stretching the word completely, Kamijou pushed himself off the person like he had respectfully asked, which was another word that was getting stretched.
After he had done so already, there was one huge problem that was now currently facing our unlucky boy. Lifting his head up from the man's chest he was now able to see who it was that he had bumped into.
The man in question had long black hair tied up with bows into two pony-tails, he was wearing a red turtle neck sweater coupled with a... Short skirt? That was finished off by long black leggings.
Okay, this confused Kamijou Touma a lot, which was something that wasn't really new to him. His brain has already processed the fact that this person is a guy, but his eyes were telling him otherwise.
Currently this was now the biggest problem the young boy was facing in his measly existence. So like any normal inquisitive human being he needed to know the truth.
Unfortunately speaking Kamijou Touma wasn't the most subtlest scientist in the world.
Lifting his right hand from under him he used it to test this theory of his... By grabbing the man's breasts for a few seconds.
And lo and behold, it's still flat, there was some softness you could equate to the certain mammary gland, but he could just be someone that has a low metabolism rate, i.e. fat. No offense yet again.
But anyways, this baffled the boy even more. How is that possible? She looks like a girl; Sounds like a girl. But she is flat as a board.
Those two things about her contradicted itself, his young and pubescent mind cannot take it any further. His eyes were now comically spinning as smoke came out from his head.
But wait.
Thats it!
Like stated before, Kamijou Touma was a person that was already used to certain things like this. So saying something that this was a first experience for him would be the understatement of the century. This was not the first time he had met a girlish looking, girlish sounding male of the species.
A certain strongest, a certain blonde haired norse god, and a certain electro-master came to his mind, no wait, the last one he has already proven to be a girl.
The first two is still pending, but he wasn't stupid enough to ask them that directly, okay, maybe the blonde would be fine, probably he/she would only tease him a bit, but when it comes to the albino, sorry to that, but Kamijou Touma did not want to be the first Japanese or first human ever to be sent on the moon...
Without a damn spaceship!
I will say this now, Kamijou Touma was not a pervert, sure he may have accidentally seen the certain electro-masters sister's undergarments, and also seen them naked that one time. But that proved that she was actually a 'she'. Because they were clones of her. And also that one time he saw...
Okay he was getting sidetracked.
Anyways, so there was only one scientific explanation that he could come up with. A cross-dresser!
'You're a genius, Kamijou!"
He congratulated himself as if he had just discovered something that would revolutionize everything.
Kamijou gave a relieved sigh, guys tend to be less violent when you accidentally bumped into them... And/Or groped them... For science!
Wow, he had just realized what kind of life he was living. A life when the girls that surrounded him were more testosterone filled then his male acquaintances. Truly a sad life indeed.
But then a sudden epiphany hit him, like a fist going sixty miles an hour to his face.
"Gbfuuh!"
The forced of the punched propped him a few feet up in the air before gravity decided to be a killjoy and pull him back down. Fortunately, into a pile of trash bags. Unfortunately, it was throw your hard and pointy trash day.
In a span of a few milliseconds in the midst of his unceremonious flight, Kamijou Touma had realized one crucial thing that could instantly debunked his arbitrarily gender bent theory.
And that was...
Girls with flat chests exist!
How can he forget something this important! Maybe that sports ball had hit him way too hard in the head. And whats worst is that he had just done something that was completely illegal in most civilized countries.
"What the hell! You damn pervert!"
The boy, possibly maybe, just a flat chested girl had already stood up, red in the face and also breathing heavily. Her twin tails swaying hypnotically. From the description above she might be a bit angry.
"You think you can just bump into me and do whatever you like!? Who the hell do you think you are!?"
Okay, she was seething, Kamijou Touma had seen this happen way too often than he should. But before he accepts his very cruel fate, i.e. getting pummeled, there was still one important thing that needs to be answered no matter what happens, his pride as a man can't just let this sleep.
"Okay, before you do something to me that I completely may or may not deserve, I have just one question."
He paused dramatically.
The girl looked at him quizzically.
"Are you a cross dressing boy, or just a really flat chested girl?"
He was very tactful.
What answered was another fist to the face, and an empty dark sky.