House Targaryen
So I said I'd do some Game of Thrones stuff, and here it is, this is kind of like Sins of the High School Flesh (which I haven't been able to come up with ideas for)
Basically the plotline is all the people from Game of Thrones living in one apartment building in Toronto, Modern AU, and their personalities have all been downplayed (ie Joffrey doesn't kill anyone and Viserys isn't as insane and rapey as he was in the book and the show)
Viserys
It was hot when Viserys got home from dogsitting for the Stark family upstairs at about 6 pm, the door to his apartment whined in protest as he shoved it open to find his 14 year old sister Daenerys on top of some boy on the living room couch.
Viserys emitted an almost girly scream and slammed the door shut, Daenerys and her friend leapt off the couch, the boy was tall with shoulder-length dark hair and copperish skin, Daenerys smoothed her silver hair and glared at her brother contemptuously,
"What the fuck, Viserys?"
"Who is that?!" Viserys screamed, pointing an accusatory finger at the boy who at this point looked like he was getting ready to sneak out of the apartment,
"Drogo, sir."
"And how old are you?"
"I'm graduating next year..."
"Viserys, why can't you just leave us alone? I'm gonna be 15 in two weeks, I'm old enough" Daenerys interrogated. Viserys glared at Drogo, who was staring back at him blankly with bored brown eyes,
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Viserys yelled at the intruder, Drogo sprinted for the door, paused to slap Daenerys on the ass and disappeared down the hallway.
Sansa
It was good to be back in Toronto, after visiting her aunt Lysa in Portland, Sansa was eager to see Dany and Margaery again and to see if she could break into her parents liquor cabinet.
Her 12 year old sister Arya was the first one in the apartment rolling on the floor with the six huskies the Starks owned, Lady, Nymeria, GreyWind, Summer, Shaggydog and Ghost. Sansa rolled her eyes, Arya was obsessed with dogs.
Ned and Catelyn Stark shoved their children into the apartment and shut the door. Rickon and Bran, the two youngest boys at 4 and 10, turned on the TV while Robb, 16 and Jon, 17, got into the fridge, Sansa sat next to Bran on the couch and her mother read a note on the counter,
"Dear Starks, the dogs were very cute, they only bit me a few times each and only drew blood about twice, I couldn't find the dog food the first few days so I think I started to look like a walking ham. It's all good now though, Viserys."
"He didn't feed them?" said Sansa's father's voice from a few rooms over,
"Remind me never to hire him again." said Catelyn quietly, "Arya, get off the floor!"
Arya walked over and sat on Sansa's lap, Sansa shoved her to the carpet.
"Mom?" Sansa asked, "Could I maybe have a couple friends over tonight? Just for a few hours."
"Of course, sweetheart." Catelyn replied, looking under the sink.
"Yeah, she's gonna have Joffrey over." Arya taunted, "Ooh, Sansa and Joffrey, Sansa looooves Joffrey! Blech." Sansa kicked her sister in the back,
"STOP!" Rickon squealed.
...
Daenerys
"Hello?"
"Heyy Dany."
"Sansa, you're back, hi."
"So I was wondering if you're free tonight, my parents are going out and I'm having a bunch of people over."
"Like who?"
"Margaery, Ygritte, Talisa, Joffrey and that Drogo you're so obsessed with."
"I'm not obsessed with Drogo."
"You named a cat after him."
"That was just a random cat that followed me home, his owner came at me with a baseball bat and accused me of cat theft."
"Maybe it was theft, maybe you want to pet Drogo, put him on a leash and have him catch mice for you, and now you can, come at ten and bring condoms!" Sansa hung up. Dany put the phone down and looked around the apartment. Viserys was somewhere else in the apartment, sneaking around somewhere. Dany went over to the freezer and got out an ice cube tray, emptying it into her mouth. Viserys came into the living room and she threw the tray into the sink, trying to look casual.
"Freak." Viserys whispered to himself, Dany spat the ice cubes into the sink as they started to freeze the inside of her face, Viserys turned the TV on. "What're you doing later?"
"I was just about to go to Sansa's. By the way do you have condoms?"
"Well, usually when two heterosexual girls, or two girls in general, due to the lack of appendage-"
"Don't ask questions."
"It's that stranger, isn't it! You're in love!" Viserys looked terrified, "You sicken me, I'm locking you in your room with a Bible and never letting you out."
"Drogo and I aren't doing anything. Sansa and I were going to do the condom challenge is all."
"That's an embarrassing way to die. You're not getting any fuckin' condoms."
"Are you watching Honey Boo Boo reruns?"
"THERE'S NOTHING ELSE ON!"
Sansa
Rickon came out of the bathroom wearing tightie-whities.
"I brushed my teeth, I don't want to go to bed, I want chips."
"We don't have any chips, go floss."
"Oh yeah, I'll just pull a string through my mouth, that's a wise life choice."
Sansa smacked her brother and chased him back into the room he shared with Bran, throwing a roll of floss at him before she locked the door, it would take Rickon a few hours to figure out how to get out of there. There was a knock on the door. Daenerys was standing in the hallway with a disappointed look on her face.
"I only got one condom, it fell out of Viserys's pocket when he was looking for the remote. If he notices it's gone he's gonna lock me in my room with a Bible."
"Well, Robb and Jon don't have any so we have to go to Shoppers. ROOOOBBBB-" Sansa screamed, "Make sure Rickon doesn't get out of his room, Daenerys and I are leaving for a few minutes."
"WHERE ARE YOU SATANIC MICE GOING?"
"That's his new thing, he calls me a satanic mouse, WE NEED TO GO PICK UP... FEBREZE."
"I'M ALLERGIC TO THAT SHIT."
"I don't care."
...
"So what kind do we get?"
"I don't know, they all look weird."
"What's Her Pleasure?"
"It's ribbed, what the fuck, I bet that feels like having one of those tank tops in your v'jay."
"Hey, fire and ice, we should get those!" (A/N Ice and Fire hahahahahahaha, anyone?)
"Yeah, that'd be weird, like 'Winter is coming, biiiiitch'."
Sansa grabbed a handful of Fire and Ice boxes off the rack and handed them to the cashier, he gave the two girls a condescending look.
"I hope you ladies are buying these to use as discreet footwear."
"Do you know who you're talking to?" Daenerys interrogated in a dangerous whisper.
"No, actually, I don't."
"Yeah I didn't expect you to, but my brother can annoy your ear off so I might send him after you if you try to cause a scene." the cashier rolled his eyes and rang them through, once they were out of the store, they ran down the street and into the foyer of the apartment building. Robb's friend Theon Greyjoy was standing at the front desk.
"Ew, what the hell..." Sansa whispered to herself as she and Dany headed for the elevator, Theon heard her.
"Well, excuse me, you little breast."
"Why are you talking to me, Theon, can't you see we don't want an altercation?"
"Robb told me about your little house party, and I'mma be there."
"Do you even have a girlfriend?" Dany asked, trying not to burst out laughing.
"Uh, no. Do you?"
"Do I have a girlfriend?"
"... Aren't you a little young to be buying condoms?"
"Aren't you a little old to be loitering in the lobby of the building?"
"Aren't you a little young to-"
"Can y'all not please?" Sansa interjected, "Theon, if you fuck up my living room, so help me God, I'll have Arya bite your hand off." Sansa and Dany went towards the elevator and Theon got in with them.
"So, Daniel, you have a boyfriend?"
"Call me Daniel one more time and I'll set you on fire."
"She's dating that Drogo."
"He scares the fucking corncobs out of me." Theon whispered. "Does Viserys know?"
"Yes. He walked in on us today- Why do you want to know so much about my lovelife?" The elevator beeped on Sansa's floor, "Bye Yara." Dany smirked,
"THAT'S MY SISTER!" Theon screamed as the doors closed.
Sansa opened the door to the Stark apartment, Bran, Rickon and Arya were sitting on the couch with a ripped-open bag of Cheetos on the coffee table, they all had cheese dust covering their faces and they were watching Adventure Time. Robb and Jon didn't seem to really care.
"Robb, what the fuck?"
"Potty-mouth! Swirl-swirl-swirl-flush." Rickon screamed, shaking the Cheeto bag and spraying Cheetos everywhere.
"AGGH! THAT'S ENOUGH!" Sansa yelled, grabbing Rickon and Bran by the shirt collars and dragging them into their bedroom, locking the door a second time. She came back into the living room and glared at Arya, "I'm going to shred you."
"Naw yo." Arya smirked, running away and skidding down the hall. Sansa was in kill mode. She took Arya's place on the couch.
"Sis, I believe you reacted in an inappropriate manner."
"QUIET ROBB."
"Where's the Febreze you promised me?"
Sansa stood up and screamed until Robb left the room, Jon followed.
"It's only eight, should we tell everyone to get here early?"
"My parents get back at like 3 in the morning, we have time."
Dany sat down in the nest of Cheetos, waiting about half a second before she tore open a box of condoms "God these are fucking weird."
Sansa ripped one open, it unravelled. "Eww, it's so long and sticky." She rolled it over her arm, "Wow, it does have a cooling sensation!" Sansa giggled and slapped herself in the face with her condom hand before a look of absolute horror and realization crossed her face, "Oh no..."
"What's wrong, what did you do?"
"I can't get it off."
"Well, it has to come off somehow." Dany tried to grab the rim of the condom but it was wrapped too tightly around Sansa's arm. "Holy shit, it's completely stuck."
"Ohhhh shit, shit shit shit."
"Maybe we could cut it off!"
"We might cut my skin."
"What's worse, having a dick for an arm or one little cut?"
"I can't decide!"
"I'm gonna go ask Robb and Jon."
"ARE YOU INSANE, THEY'LL TELL MY PARENTS!"
"It might cut off your circulation, then you'll lose the arm."
"I won't, okay, I won't, we'll just wait until everyone else gets here." Sansa sat back down on the couch and ran her other hand over the glossy surface of her condom arm.
"That's two hours from now!" As if on cue, there was a violent knock on the door, Sansa opened it with her working arm and Drogo was outside, Dany pulled the neckline of her shirt down about two inches.
"I need to hide somewhere."
"No, 'hi', then? Jesus Christ, I don't know what she sees in you."
"Can you just let me in, please, I'm being followed- What happened to your arm?"
"I'M PRACTICING SAFE SEX." Sansa snapped, "Who's following you, I'm having a lot of people over."
Before Drogo could answer, Theon popped up behind him.
"Suuppp." Theon announced, "Where's the partayy?"
"It HASN'T STARTED YET!" Sansa screamed, "God, you people, Dany was the only one who was allowed to come early, the two of you can leave or make yourselves useful taking this condom off my arm!"
Theon started to burst out laughing, "Sansa, your arm looks like a dick!"
Robb came out of his room, "THEON!"
"ROBB STARK YOU SHIFTY SON OF A BITCH!"
...
About half an hour later there was another knock on the door and Margaery Tyrell and Talisa Maegyr let themselves in, Margaery was leaning on Talisa and it looked like she had already had a few drinks.
"Heyy bitches." said Sansa, "Where's Ygritte?"
"I saw her." said Talisa, "She was petting some random dog in the hallway."
"When she shows up..." said Jon, "Y'all better clear a space because there's gonna be some serious sensual interplay going on up in here."
"No discretion there." Margaery slurred, "Absolutely none... disgusting..."
"Where's the alcohol?" Theon asked impatiently, "And where's the weed?"
"We didn't agree to weed-" Sansa began, but was interrupted by a gasp, the whole living room turned around to look at Arya, who was standing behind them.
"Drugs are bad, Sansa." Arya started tearing up, "I don't want you to be bad..."
"ARYA, STOP." Sansa growled through her teeth, "We both know you'e not actually crying."
"I'm gonna tell Mommy and Daddy and they're gonna be sooo mad."
"If you tell them, I will shoot you."
"Holy shit." said Talisa, "Sansa, you're insane, you can't threaten to shoot a child."
"Yeah, really, if you threaten this sweet little child again, I'm leaving." said Theon,
"I hope you realize I didn't want you here in the first place, THEON GREYJOY. So you can go."
"Then I'm taking everyone else with me."
"OKAY OKAY!" Sansa pleaded, "Fine, Arya, you can join us until 12, but at 12, you're going the fuck to sleep."
"YEAH!" Arya screamed, sitting between Dany and Drogo, "Let's get hammered!"
"No." Sansa concluded, "You're not drinking."
"We're out of pop." Arya sassed. "And I'm not going to the store to get any, I'll make you a deal, you let me stay up, I won't even drink water, I won't drink anything, but if I have to go to bed, I'm getting hammered."
"You're 12, I'm 15 and I'm not even allowed to get hammered."
"Well, you know what, if I have to go to bed-"
"Arya, end of discussion, you're ruining the night for everyone."
"This is actually fun to watch." said Dany. "It's better than Dance Moms."
There was another knock on the door,
"IT'S OPEN!" Sansa yelled, Ygritte opened the door with Joffrey standing behind her.
"This one followed me here." said Ygritte, "Where's Jon Snow?"
"You don't have to say his last name." Joffrey snapped, Sansa felt her face turn red and she stood up,
"Hiiii, Joffrey..."
"Why are these people here?"
"You didn't know they were coming?"
"Literally everyone here is on my Hate List! Jesus, Sansa, if we're going to do this thing you have to understand how I work!" Joffrey threw a piece of paper into the air. Margaery caught it,
"Wow, everyone is on here. Even me." she said, passing the Hate List around.
"That's classy, you put Arya at the top." Dany scolded,
"I like these little notes about everyone like, what you want to do to them like mine says 'I will shove Talisa down a laundry chute'."
"And mine just says 'Indian Burn'." said Drogo with a look of disbelief on his face, "I've been shot before."
"I would Indian Burn you so hard right now if I wasn't in the presence of the Lady." Joffrey whispered dangerously,
"Why would you want to 'make an Arya smoothie', I'm pretty sure you can go to jail just for writing that, it's cannibalism and murder." Jon chastised, Joffrey started to turn blue,
"WILL YOU ALL SHUT YOUR MOUTHS?!" Joffrey yelled, "Or I'll get my mother down here to put you in your place!"
Arya raised her hand, the room was quiet for a few seconds while everyone stared at her and Sansa broke the silence by whispering, "Yes, Arya?"
"Permission to throw Joffrey out the window?"
"LISTEN, YOU-" Joffrey snapped, standing over Arya, Ygritte cut in,
"You touch this little mouse, I'll break your nuts."
"God, I love it when you're dangerous." said Jon, grabbing Ygritte's left ass-cheek.
"Shall we continue this in a less public venue?"
"My shower is available."
Ygritte and Jon ran away to a different part of the apartment.
"So when does everyone start fucking?" Arya asked innocently, leaning her head on Dany's shoulder,
"Joffrey, put her in the blender." Sansa whined. Joffrey made a grab for Arya but Dany slapped his hand away.
"Sansa, this is ridiculous, where's the key to the liquor cabinet?" Margaery complained. "And also, the question that's on everyone's mind, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?!"
"She put it in a condom." Theon announced.
Robb pointed at his sister, "SO YOU DIDN'T GET FEBREZE?! GOD I WAS COUNTING ON YOU GETTING FEBREZE!"
"YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO FEBREZE!"
"YEAH! MY AIRWAYS CLOSE UP AND I DIE!"
"I NEED A DRINK, ROBB, BECAUSE OF YOU!" Sansa screamed.
"I will go get the key to the liquor cabinet." Robb said, trying to be calm. He left the room for a few moments then came back with a defeated look on his face. He looked at Sansa and mouthed 'it is empty'.
"WHAT?!" Sansa shrieked, standing up, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S EMPTY?!"
"HELL NAW!" Arya yelled, "I WANNA GET PLASTERED!"
"I have a fake ID!" Drogo announced,
"I wanna go too!" Dany squealed, "Let's take one more person so it doesn't look suspicious, ooooh, how about Margaery, she's already halfway wasted."
"I don't know if I can make it to the liquor store." Margaery whined, Arya jumped up.
"I can go, I can pretend to be your child!"
"Oh yeah, you definitely look half-Targaryen, half-whatever he is."
"Armenian."
"Thank you. Arya Stark you are staying in this living room or I will... tell on you so damn hard."
"Then Mom and Dad will find out you were having a party."
"SIT." Sansa growled.
"If you don't let me go, I'll tell."
"I'm not scared of you, Arya." Arya picked up the home phone and started dialing Catelyn's cell number. "Arya Maisie Stark, if you don't hang up-"
The room went silent as the dial tone sounded a few times, Sansa started forward to tackle her sister to the ground, there was a collective inhale...
Hi, you've reached Catelyn Stark, I'm sorry I can't take your call right now, please leave a message or call again later.
beeeeeep
"HI Mommy it's Arya-" Sansa clenched her fists, "Just calling to tell you that-" from across the room Sansa saw Drogo and Dany mouthing what looked like 'We'll take her, we'll take her', Arya saw as well, "I love you and you're the best mommy ever and I want to go shopping with you, for clothes, pretty clothes. Bye Mommy!" Arya hung up,
"FINE YOU CAN GO!" Sansa yelled, close to tears, "GOD I HATE CHILDREN!"
"YEAH!" Arya yelled. "I should have a secret name too, how about Nymeria?"
"I really don't care." Drogo said quietly as he and Dany left the apartment, Arya followed close behind brazenly displaying her middle fingers to the living room.
...
Daenerys
"Arya, can you please not do flips in the aisles? You're going to hurt yourself or break something." Dany said in her babysitter voice as Arya cartwheeled down an aisle of zinfandel,
"YOLO BITCHES!" Arya screamed as her foot almost clipped a bottle of Wild Vines. Drogo came back looking nervous,
"Okay, I got tequila and wine and some other stuff but we need to get out of here."
"Why? And why do you look so traumatized?"
"Because we're about to get questioned, LET'S GO."
"Okay, fine, Arya, we're leaving."
"Shit, don't say anything-" An LCBO employee was standing behind Drogo,
"Hello, kids."
"Hi, sir."
"I'm gonna need to see some ID." Drogo took his fake ID out of his pocket. "Yeah, this can't be your real name."
"Well, it is."
"Drogo Khatchedorian? What kind of a name is that?"
"Armenian."
"No, that can only be an acronym or an anagram. And is that your kid causing havoc in my aisles?"
"We're babysitting her."
"I don't think her parents would like you drinking on the job, now, one call to the police and we could shut your party down."
"I'll shut your vital organs down!"
"GET. OUT." The employee whispered.
...
"Can we do this every day?"
"No."
"Are we friends now?"
"No."
"Is Dany gonna get pregnant?"
"No."
"Can I have some of that clear stuff?"
"No."
"Is that the only word you know?"
"How does your sister get through a day without strangling you? Get inside." Drogo snapped, shoving Arya back into her apartment. Everyone seemed still slightly shocked after the incident with the phone. Sansa got up,
"Okay, you got drinks... everyone better use a coaster or I'll scream. And if you spill a drop, I'll murder you while you sleep." Sansa sat back down.
"Arya almost got us arrested." Dany tattled.
"DID NOT! They're lying."
"She was doing cartwheels."
"ARYA!" Sansa yelled. "Go to bed."
"It's only nine!" Arya argued, laying down on the carpet and taking hold of Theon's leg, "I'll call mom again!"
Dany put the drinks down. "Does anyone have cups?"
Sansa pointed towards a cupboard in the kitchen. Somehow Arya got ahold of one.
"Fill'er up." Arya whispered, holding a cup in Talisa's face,
"She can have half a cup of anything under 13%."
Talisa tentatively poured some wine into Arya's cup, Arya grabbed the neck of the bottle and emptied the entire thing into her cup, it overflowed and soaked into the white carpet, leaving a huge purple stain.
Joffrey started to slow-clap with a scowl on his face,
"HELL YEAH!" Arya screamed, balancing her overflowing glass in one hand and jumping on the couch, "Let's use this bottle for spinning!"
Sansa froze for a second. "Yeah, you know what, yeah, let's spin this bitch! Everyone, get your asses in a circle, Arya, you spin first."
Arya hopped into the middle of the circle and spun the bottle aggressively, the rest of the circle watched apprehensively as the bottle slowed to a stop and pointed at Theon. Arya smirked,
"I'm not kissing a child."
"I think you're gonna be kissing this child."
"Theon, just spin again, she can't be that persistent." Talisa instructed.
Theon was about to spin again when Arya attacked his face,
"GET HER OUT OF HERE." Margaery demanded, "Robb, take her the fuck to bed."
Arya came off of Theon's face, "HASHTAG-I FEEL GOOD!"
"Theon, you look sick."
"Am I a pedophile now?"
"Not unless you liked it." Robb reassured,
"Kay, I'm safe. I don't think I want to spin, I need to recover."
"You can go lay down on my bed!" Arya suggested.
"Go to bed, Arya." said Robb, "Just go, now."
"You go to bed, mothafucka." Arya sassed, Robb picked her up and carried her screaming to her room. He came back a few seconds later,
"I don't think she'll be bothering us for a while."
"You didn't kill her did you?"
"Nope, tied her up." Robb sat down and spun the bottle, it landed on Margaery, she kissed him and promptly smacked him in the face.
"I need another drink!" Talisa announced.
"Okay, Viserys just drunk-texted me." said Dany, "Sansa, I'm just gonna stay here tonight. He has his girlfriend over."
"Is it that Doreah?"
Dany nodded with an irritated expression on her face, "I hate her."
"How bad can she be, at least Viserys is being less bitchy." said Margaery, spinning the bottle, "Ooooh, Joffrey!"
"You're still on my hate list, Number Seven!" Joffrey shouted, kissing Margaery with a disgusted look on his face. He spun the bottle and it landed on Dany. She made a face, "Close your mouth, Number Five, I can't kiss your teeth."
"Deal with it." Joffrey leaned into kiss Dany, Jon and Ygritte popped out of the other room and sat down,
"Oooh this is getting spicy!" Ygritte remarked. Dany spun and got Talisa, Talisa spun and got Jon, who spun and got Drogo. Drogo spun and the bottle pointed to Ygritte, who grinned ominously.
"Any other person."
"You can't go back now, you attractive piece of Armenian ass. The bottle has spoken."
"I don't know where your mouth has been but you were just in there with Jon-"
"Well I bet your mouth has been all over this!" Ygritte shrieked, pointing at Dany,
"...Alright, fine."
Ygritte spun and landed on Sansa, and just as they were about to kiss, Catelyn and Ned Stark walked into the apartment.