Title: Worth it
Hi this is me coming back to this fandom
It has been a long time since my muse brings me here but I got to go where she takes me.
I'm in the need of a beta so all mistakes are mine.
This is a Hotch/Emily kind of story before she left.
They were sitting in his office, she had her resignation letter in one hand and heart in the other, she knew this was the end, he was happy she though, and even when her heart was breaking she had to let him go.
"You don´t need to do this"
"Yes I do, this team can´t handle more pain, and if I stay, if we do this...we can´t be selfish, besides you´re happy in a way"
"You´re not her"
"Yeah and that is a good thing, she isn´t tainted by evilness, she can´t see what we see she doesn´t wake screaming from nightmares that can send any normal person in madness, she is good for Jack and if you let me go she can be good for you"
"But that´s the problem, she is not you, and you don´t get to decide for us, for me, you don´t think I know about nightmares, Do you even remember Foyet? Because Emily I do, I know what it feels to be tainted, what we do, what we see stays with us, we´re special because we choose to live in a world full of monsters but we do it because we know that there isn´t anyone outside us that can, we´re surrounded by evilness, pain, horror, we see the real monster and we catch them and we pay a price for it, but we keep going because we need to focus on the good side, the closure, the justice that we bring to the victim´s families, you can´t leave Emmy, because even when Hayley was alive you still were one of my reason for doing this"
"Oh Aaron I´m so tired, so very tired, I´m losing my faith, I have seen so much, that I don´t know how to keep going, how to keep the monsters away, I love you and your son, that beautiful boy you have somehow manage to become the light, my only light in this fight, but I´m so tired, and you can´t help me in this fight because you have your own demons to fight, maybe that´s why we can´t be happy why all of us can´t find love outside us, even Will had to see the monster´s job to understand JJ´s work and let me tell you is not going to be easy for them, because this job leaves you in darkness, leaves you with doubts that man can be kind, and I don´t want to see your baby in this life, he had a taste of what hatred can do when his mother was taken from him but I don´t want to be another nightmare and I´m getting weaker Aaron, Doyle broke something inside me and I don´t know if I can fix it and he needs better, he deserves better than half a person"
"But Emmy he loves you, Beth can´t be you, yes she can try and get on his goo side but she can´t never be you there is only one Emmy for him, Emily please I love you and it breaks my heart to know that I can´t help you because you´re right my own strength is getting punch after punch because we serve somehow as a barrier we do our jobs so other people can lead happy lives is not perfect but what you don´t see is that we´re not alone, I still remember what a victim´s mother told me years ago"
Flashback
"Agent Hotchner I wanted to give you my thanks, you caught the monster that killed my Ella"
"No ma'am just doing my job, I´m sorry we couldn´t find her alive"
"She is with God now and agent…"
"Yes ma'am"
"I think you and your team have gained a great guardian angel, I think that my baby is in heaven praying for you and your team, she is there alongside everyone you brought justice for, and our families and those you brought closure also, you will always be in our prayers because what you do, what you expose yourselves to it needs to have special angels, even when you don´t see them there will be there with you, myself here until I draw my last breath and them with those who I love we will protect you, go with peace agent Hatchner you would never be alone"
End of flashback
"So I choose to believe that, I choose to believe that they´re looking after my son while I´m on the job, you are right I have my own demons to fight but I´m not alone and neither are you, please Emily don´t leave us, don´t leave me"
"And so do I that is why I have to do this, I´m sorry Aaron I just can´t do it anymore, tell Jack I love him, and goodbye my beloved one and be happy"
He was watching her, she stunningly beautiful but he could see her the girl with the broken smile, his beloved one with the broken heart, she was getting ready to leave and he knew even when it pained him that he needed to let her go, she needed out of this darkness, she needed time to heal, to rebuild her faith, he knew she would come back, to them to him but for now she needed out and even when she would take half of his heart with her he would do it, she was worth it, she needed to find her way back to him.
He could see her, could see her pain, she threw him a kiss and mouthed a promised.
"I will be back"
He would wait, yeah he would wait for her, she was worth it, she was love, his love, his.
The End
So thoughts?