Hello its been a while since I have written on this site and for some reason this story kind of called out to me. I am not sure if it is going to be a one-shot or if I will continue with this story but I hope you all enjoy it.

Since I am unsure if I will continue or not, I guess it depends on if people want me to or not I am going to go ahead and say that there is no couples. If I do continue it might turn into Sirius/Remus but for now its nothing.

Anyway please enjoy and let me know what you think:

He never felt such darkness before. The thoughts running through his mind made him tremble with horror. He thought he was above this, he thought he was above his family's name, his family's curse of darkness that oozed out of his family like heat rising out of a stove. He was supposed to be the one who broke through their hatred. He was the black sheep of the family, the person whose parents were ashamed of, the one who held all the kindness the rest of his family lacked. Yet here he was, breathing heavily and pale as he stared at his reflection in the small little bathroom mirror. The sight that he saw made his stomach turn. His face shined in the artificial glow by the tears that he couldn't hold back anymore. His long black hair just dangling messy around his face, shaping it in a way that his father always told him was too feminine for a boy.

The person he saw staring back at him was a shell of everything he used to stand for. His eyes were outlined with thick bags that made him look older and more damaged than he should be for his age. He couldn't remember when the last time he slept was, everything that had happened recently had been a giant blur and he hadn't found much reason to sleep lately. He knew what awaited him when he closed his eyes, he didn't want to be back THERE again, didn't want to experience THAT again, didn't want to be reminded of what he continued trying to do and failing constantly.

His skin felt hot still, burning to be honest, as he continued to stare at himself as if observing a stranger. This person that he was seeing was too young to be dealing with his life, dealing with what he witnessed day after day, what his parents put him through whenever they could.

He could still see the way his younger brother staring at him like a deer in headlights, no emotions anywhere on his face, like a damn statue. He didn't even say anything. Didn't even try to help. Not that he expected him too; this was something not new to either of the two boys. It had been happening for years, they grew up around it, and it was almost a typical event that happened day after day.

It's just unfair because Sirius was the one it happened to but hey everything always happened to him in the family. His brother was spared time and time again and Sirius wouldn't have it any other way. However that didn't stop Sirius from feeling anger, didn't stop his despair that he hide behind being a nuisance, by being a cocky dick that got into trouble constantly.

For a while that got him by. When he felt hurt, when he felt alone, when he felt like giving the whole world the bird and leaving to find a soft coffin to dream in, he would plan pranks. It doesn't matter what kind of prank or how dangerous it was. It was all about seeing it play out and waiting until he got caught and then he would get all the attention he craved. He would sit down in the headmaster's office, listening to him talk and plead with him to cool it on the amounts of pranks he did while trying to get the courage to tell him what was going on back at home.

Sometimes he thought the headmaster had figured it out. Half the time he was called into the office the old man wouldn't say anything to him or would ask if there was something he wanted to tell him. Sirius always denied his offer. At first it was out of fear, fear of the mess he would find himself if he ever told. Lately it was just out of resignation. This was his life and what he had to go through was his to live through until he was finally of age to leave and find his own route of life. Some people had loving families who loved them and gave them all the support they needed. This was what he had and in the end it didn't matter who lived in a mansion being pampered by love and money or if they had nothing, every road led to Rome, it's just some roads were more courageous to go down then others.

His road just had a series of events he described as THAT. The last event was definitely involving THAT in THERE. The event itself wasn't really what shook him to the core. What got him worried was imagining killing his father and mother after THAT took place. It didn't end there through; it was also in the words that he wanted to desperately shout at his father, his mother, even his brother. Even that wasn't the end. It was his dreams of digging his nails into his own skin until he bleeds, to slit his wrist and let his life rush out of him in a tide of red. It didn't stop there either. It was his secret wish to join his family on the dark side just so they wouldn't treat him like they do anymore.

They were so typical of a Black to think of such things.

He shook again as he rested his head on the wall next to the sink, feeling fear rush through him again. What if he was just like them? What if he would turn out to be bad? It was this thought of being a bad person that he had really been dreading his whole life. He had made the decision to not follow what his parents had taught him, to not become prejudice, to not be blindsided by the pureblood crap, now he was realizing that may all have been in vain. Maybe he was bad after all and it was all a matter of time before the truth unveils.

"Sirius?"

Sirius froze as he recognized his best friend's voice and he immediately wiped at his face with his sleeves, trying to hide the tears before forcing a smile and spinning around, "hey Mooney, how are you doing?"

"I been looking for you for a whole hour…why are you crying?" Remus asked, tiredness ripe in his eyes that always seemed to shine with such strength that Sirius craved for.

"I'm not crying man," Sirius faked a laugh as if to prove the point before pushing his hair out of his face.

"You still playing this game?" The blonde asked with nothing but exhaustion heavy in his voice.

"What game?" The black haired man faked a laugh again, his eyes shinning with pain and begging. He wanted Remus to keep questioning him, to get him to confess what was wrong but he knew it was pointless. Remus only pushed him so far before backing down. Sometimes the blonde was so close to breaking Sirius down that the Black almost let it slip but then something distracted one or both of them and that was the end of conservation.

Sirius wouldn't dare tell James or Peter. They wouldn't understand, it was too complicated for them but Remus…he knew all about pain and suffering and the wide array of emotions that came with it. He knew how it felt to have his childhood stolen. He knew how it felt to be afraid of himself, afraid of what he may not be able to control. Remus was the only person Sirius trusted. He was the only person he wanted to tell about his home life.

"Where you act all high and mighty and try and fool everybody into thinking everything is okay." Remus was too wise for Sirius's liking sometimes.

"I'm fine," a genuine smile that crossed with misery in the eyes, "just depressed about how we just got back from winter break and yet we already have three tests in a span of week and a half."

Remus faked a smile this time, looking at his friend with so many questions that he always wanted to ask but never got the courage to do so. He knew something was going on; something unpleasant was happening to his friend and yet felt powerless to say anything, "yeah well we just have to suffer for three more years and then we will be free."

"Yeah and then we will be gone, out of sight and out of mind." An uneasy silence fell between the two boys as one stared into the mirror and another stared down at the floor. Both of them knew what Sirius meant. He wanted to escape, to run as far away from his family as possible, to never deal with their hatred again. Finally Remus looked up from the floor and stared at his friend, "You know…" he paused and looked down again, "we have the rest of our lives to try again. The point is that yes our lives are complicated right now but it doesn't end here..."

Sirius looked back at Remus, another tear made its way down his face, one that Remus didn't see because he was still staring at the floor. The black haired youth didn't take his eyes off of his friend as he bitterly whispered, "yeah it can only get better from here."

Remus looked back at his friend and for a moment they just looked at each other. The need to spill the truth tugged on Sirius's body, making it feel one hundred times heavier. He could imagine how his friend would respond to his horrible news, how he would help him, how he would know what to do. He opened his mouth, his tongue feeling as heavy as lead as he started to form the words that he knew he had to say.

"Remus, Sirius there you guys are," James interrupted the awkward staring contest. Sirius instantly felt the words die in his throat as he turned wearily toward his other best friend. Remus slowly turned his head as well, still looking so unbelievably tired, so unbelievably physical weak at the moment, "I have to show you the prank I just pulled on Snape, come on, come on, before it gets reversed." James screamed, ushering at them to come with his hands, impatiently jumping up and down unable to hide his excitement. Remus and Sirius shared one last look before following James out of the bathroom letting another conversation die off that shouldn't.

Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.