AN: I know. A 10 Items or Less / TWD AU is absolutely the crackiest AU to ever have been created, but the connections between these polar opposite shows were too numerous and hilarious for me to not do anything with. And if you're a comedy geek, I definitely recommend 10 Items. If only to listen to someone else yell "Carl!" in anguish.

Updates will not be frequent (if ever). Unless y'all are inexplicably interested in more. This was just something I needed to get out of my system.

Chapter 1: The New Boss

Rick Grimes stood outside in the almost empty parking lot of the old grocery store as the rays of the hot Georgia sun bore down on him. It was as if they were pushing him to take the last few steps into his fate - The Greenes & Grimes, the family grocery store his father forced him to work in as a child. The one he wiped his hands of once he became a sheriff in Atlanta where he would have no more direct involvement. At least he thought he did.

He slowly approached the front entrance behind a hunched over senior. The man sidled through the automatic doors, but before he could follow through, they slid closed in front of him.

"What the-"

Rick stepped off the mat and back on. The doors refused to open. He jumped. Still closed. He watched a customer walk by the doors shooting him a curious glance yet made no move to help him.

"Okay, G & G. I get it. You don't want me here just as much as I don't want to be here, but it's what Pa wants, so you gotta let me in," muttered Rick. Desperate and annoyed beyond belief, he tried to insert his fingers into the crease of the doors and pry them apart. When they suddenly separated with a whoosh, Rick fell flat on his stomach barely softening his blow as to not break his nose on the scuffed up linoleum floor. A woman who had walked up behind Rick stepped over him and went along her way without a second glance.

"I hate it here. I hate it," grunted Rick as he pushed himself to his feet and brushed the dust from his pants.

The inside of the store was bright, yellow and empty save for a handful of customers that weaved through the aisles with their rickety carts. A stale smell also wafted through the air that told just how old the store was. The health department must have forgotten about the Greenes & Grimes along with the rest of the community. Rick tried to spy the gray head of the man he knew to be owner when he spotted another familiar face. He approached the young blonde woman behind the desk of the raised Customer Service podium in the center of the store.

"Beth?"

The last time Rick had seen Hershel's youngest daughter was when she was a baby and he was just about to go off to college in Atlanta. Her radiant blonde hair and glowing smile were exactly what he remembered of Hershel's wife.

"Yes, can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, i'm looking for your dad. Is he around?"

Beth's brow creased as her smile lessened in confusion.

"Sorry, I'm - I'm the Grimes," clarified Rick with a wave of his hand referencing the store. Beth's eyes widened and she took in a sharp intake of air. She pulled the intercom up to her mouth.

"Daddy to Customer Service! Daddy to Customer Service." Her excited exclamation blared through the once quiet store. Rick winced at the piercing static.

"He's going to be so happy to see you! Especially now that - Well… I'm sorry about your dad."

"Thanks. It's fine. We weren't exactly all that close."

"Still.. What are you doing back now? Are you taking over?" Beth's consoling eyes morphed into a wide, sincere grin.

"Well, that's sort of why I'm here-"

"My, what a man you've turned out to be Rick."

Rick turned to see his father's best friend, Hershel Greene. He was grayer and more wrinkled than when he last saw him, but he was still the same warm man. Hershel opened his arms, and it was impossible for Rick not to give the old family friend a hug.

"Thanks Hershel. You don't look too bad yourself."

"You're finally back. Here to take over the helm? We could use the Grimes work ethic son." He clasped Rick's shoulder in a tight hold.

"Not exactly. I came to sell my half to you."

"You want to lop off a G?" Beth cried.

"Why don't you go take your break now sweetheart?" Beth huffed at her father's command, but she left in the direction of the bakery, her blonde ponytail swinging behind her.

"What are you talking about Rick? This is your family's legacy just as it is mine, why do want to give it up?"

"Did my dad ever tell you that someone shot me in the line of duty last year? Well, money was tight before that, but after the hospital bills started pouring in it's even worse. The family and I moved back here from Atlanta because of the costs. Then dad died, and all I got was a funeral to pay for and this store."

Hershel watched him with a critical eye, "Are you more upset about your father passing or that he didn't leave you anything else?"

"It's not like we were ever close," repeated Rick as he shifted from foot to foot. Hershel gave him the same quick, sad look Beth had. It seemed none of the Greenes could relate to his old, mildly unpleasant family life.

"Well Rick, I'm afraid I can't help you. Ever since that chain moved in across the street we haven't been doing so good. If I were to buy your half, we'd have to close up. Why don't you..." Trailed Hershel while scratching his beard.

"No. No."

"Come on, Rick. It's the only option."

"No, Hershel. I think I'd rather get stuck behind a station desk again than-"

"Rick." The older man looked into younger's eyes. They were bright, hopeful, and shone blue. He raised his eyebrows in welcome invitation, and his beard twitched as he smiled.

Rick cricked his neck to look at the yellowed ceiling tiles as he let out a resigned sigh.

Saturday morning brought only a handful of customers along with the two new members of the Greenes and Grimes family. Hershel had called a staff meeting in the breakroom to formally introduce the two. As the employees filtered in and sat in the littered chairs and sofa, Hershel, Rick, and his teenage son stood in front of the dented lockers. Beth sent Rick a bright wave and smile as she took a seat in between who he recognized as her older sister, Maggie, and a scruffy looking man.

"Good morning, everyone! I'm excited to introduce to you our new co-manager and stock boy, Rick Grimes and his son, Carl," announced Hershel. Rick tried to keep from shuffling on his feet as his son did in front of the apparent disinterest of the audience.

"Why don't we welcome him with that lively G & G greeting and introduce yourselves and what you do here," said Hershel. Rick dug his hands into his pockets and reminded himself he was not in a dreamed memory of the first day of school.

"Welcome to the Greenes & Grimes." It was mostly muffled, and only three out of the five employees actually annunciated, but it was a greeting nonetheless. It was silent after that.

"I guess I'll go first. Hi, I'm Beth, but you already know that. I'm the head of Customer Service." Another smile and she whipped towards Maggie. The sister, with a wry smile, rolled her eyes at Beth's energy.

"I'm Maggie. I run the bakery. Nice to see you again, Rick."

RIck nodded at the two girls. Carl smiled, more brightly at one sister than the other.

"Uh, I'm Glenn! Bagger.. But I'm studying sports medicine! So… Not just a bagger." Said the man who sat on the sofa arm next to Maggie. She bumped his hip with her elbow and chuckled at his stumbling introduction, he pushed back.

The man sitting in the same corner of the room in a stray chair raised his hand, "Name's Terrence, but you can call me T-Dog. I work the cashier with this dork."

"Okay." Glenn nodded. Carl chuckled beside Rick at the group's ribbing.

"I'm Michonne," said the woman with dreadlocks and a bandana form the opposite corner of the room. "I'm in charge of the produce." Her voice was low and calm, quite the difference from the rest of the group, until all that was left was the man beside Beth. He was ruffling the back of his choppy brown hair when Beth elbowed him in the side. He didn't glance at her but let out rough sigh.

"Daryl. Butcher." Despite his withdrawn facade, he looked directly into Rick's eyes and nodded for his introduction. Rick was compelled to nod back.

"That was great guys. Does anyone have anything else to say?" Asked Hershel throwing out his hands in anticipation.

The only sound were the knocking of pipes in the walls and scuffle of shoes as everyone shifted in the pause. Finally, Rick roughly cleared his throat to break the moment.

"I actually do have something to say. It's… great to be here and meet all of you, but this is only going to be a temporary situation." He directed the last part towards Hershel. "Y'all will only have to deal with this dual dictatorship till things settle on the Grimes' side of all this." Rick released a chuckle at his attempt at a joke. He was the only to do so till Hershel gave out a delayed laugh of his own.

"Dad," groaned Carl as he rubbed his forehead to shield his blush.

"I guess that's it. Okay, let's get the day started. On and out," ushered Hershel. "Carl, why don't you come with me and we'll fetch your uniform. Rick, I'll meet you up in the office." The older man wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders and guided him from the room. Carl sent back his dad a wide eyed look from across his shoulder.

As the rest of the employees made their way out, Rick watched them leave. T-Dog and Michonne quickly and quietly left the room, but Rick caught the ends of the others' conversations.

"What is wrong with you?" Laughed Maggie as she grabbed Glenn's shoulder.

"I have a problem with authority! I know you remember the panic attack I had when your dad interviewed me." Their voices faded out as they left the room. The voices of the pair that followed behind them overtook them.

"My goodness that was like pulling teeth. They're new here! The transition is probably hard enough for them without all this weirdness." Whispered Beth to Daryl who followed behind her through the exit. Her chastising tone was the harshest Rick had heard from the young women yet.

As the door swung back and forth behind them, RIck heard the man's quick response, "Ain't nothing harder than sitting through a sharing circle outside of elementary school. And if they wanted to keep clear of weirdness, they sure as hell came to the wrong place."

Rick cursed under his breath. He was going to be doing that a lot from now on.