The POV switches between Crutchie and Jack. Enjoy this unedited angst.
I thought I could get away. But of course, my stupid leg ruins it. Both of the Delancy brothers grab my arms, clutching my them tightly. They have fun with me, punching me in the stomach and pushing me over. Then Snyder shows up. He knocks me over, I fall on the ground, and he grabs my crutch. He raises it above his head and then brings it down on me, hitting my stomach. I gasp and starts hitting me with it, and I beg him to stop, but it's no use. When he finally stops, he grips my wrists and snaps a pair of handcuffs on to them. Then, he drags me away by my bad leg while I scream for help as loud as I can.
I get one last glimpse of Jack before I am dragged off. He's just standing there, his mouth hanging open and a horrified look on his face. He didn't bother coming to help me, even though I bawled for him until my voice was gone.
I'm thinking of Jack right now. Why didn't he try to help me? Why would he just stand there? You said you would never let me down, Jack. What happened?
No. He must have had a good reason. He must have had a good reason. Maybe there was really nothing he could do. I can't be mad at Jack. He's my brother. But still, I can't help but wonder why he would let me get taken to this damn place without even trying to stop them.
.
Why would I do that? How could I let them take Crutchie? He was yelling for me but, I didn't even try to stop them! What kind of a brother am I?
All these thoughts fly through my head one after another as I stomp around on my penthouse floor. I scream at the sky, frustrated tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. Slamming my foot on the floor once more, I sink to the ground and let the tears I'm holding in pour out as I slap my hands over my mouth to keep from letting the entire city of Manhattan know that I'm crying.
"I'm so sorry, Crutchie," I whisper through sobs.
After a while, I get up, my cheeks soaking wet. I wipe my eyes, unwilling to start crying again. I just want to leave. I want to leave everything behind and go somewhere else. I want to go to Santa Fe. I could do so much more in Santa Fe. I would have my own land, my own Palomino that I would ride everyday. And Crutchie would be right by my side.
My thoughts, once again, turn to Crutchie. My brother. My brother who was taken away to be locked up in the Refuge all beacause of me. It's my fault my brother's gone. All my fault.
.
When I get to the Refuge, the Delancys have fun soaking me. I won't let them get the satisfaction of hearing me whimper, so I hold it in as tears roll down my cheeks. Soon, they get bored with me, and I get thrown into a dirty room with a bunch of other kds. No one is speaking, although some glance at me, looking sorry. I can hear rats scampering across the floor. The place smells like blood and sweat. Everyone is miserable.
I grab on to a bed to steady myself. It's tough walking around without a crutch. I make it to the nearest empty bunk, the one closest to the only window which was barred up with wooden planks. I let myself fall backwards on the bed, grunting a little as I fail to catch myself and land on my bruised back. My stomach growls loudly, but no one looks up. I wonder when the last time these kids had something to eat was.
I sigh. If only Jack were here. What would he do? He'd be coming up with some brilliant way to escape. But I'm not like Jack; I can't come up with smart ideas like he can. Even if I could, I couldn't escape anyway. My stupid leg would slow me down too much.
A voice shouts from outside the door, making me jump, "Alright, boys, lights out!"
Everyone slowly gets up and into their bunks. Some mutter goodnight to each other, but most don't say a word. I pick up my bad leg and pull it on to the bunk, wincing as my leg muscles burn.
It's dark now. I can't sleep. My whole body hurts, and I need something to eat. I try to forget about the pain by thinking of Jack. I wonder what he's doing right now. Maybe he's gonna come and visit me. Maybe he'll-
A loud rat running by my bed startles me and I frown, looking down on it. It stops to look at me for a second, then continues moving. It steps on something as it runs past me. Whatever it was, it made a crinkling noise when stepped on. I reached out and felt for it in the dark. A piece of paper. A small smile appears on my face as I reach in my pocket and pull out a pencil. One of Jack's pencils that I had been keeping for him. Then, as best as I can in the dark, I write Jack a letter.
My eyes are getting tired as I finish the letter, signing it. I read over it, proud of how much I wrote. How am I gonna get this to Jack, though? If there's no way to get it to him, why'd I even bother?
Just then, I hear a tap at the window. I look through the wooden planks barring up the window, and I grin. In the gaps of the planks, I can see Specs. Although he's not Jack, it's calming to see a familiar face.
"Hey, Specs!" I whisper, my voice coming out hoarse.
"Heya, Crutchie!" He mimicked my soft tone. "We'se all worried about ya, so da fellas sent me over! How ya doin'?"
There's no way I'm going to tell Specs how bad it is. He'll freak out. "I'se okay. How's Jack?"
"He's disappeared somewhere, and we can't find him," he replied.
"Check in his penthouse. He's bound ta be there. Oh, and also, when ya find him, could ya give him dis, please? It's a lettah." I grabbed my letter and handed it to Specs through the window.
Specs nodded. "I should get goin' before anyone catches me. See ya, Crutchie!" Then, with my letter in hand, he took off and left me.
.
"Where da hell did you come from, Specs?" I whip my head around to the sound of a familiar voice and see Specs standing right behind me.
He laughs, "Crutchie told me I'd find ya here!"
I gasp quietly. "You went to see Crutchie? How is he?"
Specs shrugs, "He said he was okay, but he looked pretty beat up."
Crutchie never told anyone if he was in pain. He probably lied to Specs because he didn't want him to worry. "How bad did he look?" I ask slowly.
"Really bad. Da kid was covered in bruises and cuts and stuff. Even had a black eye," Specs shudders. "Oh, by da way, Jack, Crutchie wanted ta give dis to ya. Says it's a lettah." He hands me a piece of paper, and I take it.
Before I start reading, I turn to Specs. "Do ya think ya could, uh, maybe, go..." I bite my bottom lip.
He nods, "Oh yeah, sorry, Jack." And with that, he leaves.
I sigh with relief and move to Crutchie's letter. I read it, and feel guilty when I finish. Crutchie had talked about Santa Fe and how we would both be there. Together. And he had called me his brother. After I had let him be taken away to the Refuge, he still thought of me as his brother. I sigh. Crutchie doesn't deserve to be there, I do. I'm the one who decided we should go on strike, putting everyone in danger. Crutchie just went along with it because he trusted me. He had no idea he would be put in the Refuge for listening to me. But I can't just hang around here crying. I stand up straighter. Crutchie needs me. I'll go see him tonight, when everyone's asleep.
.
I sniff quietly and wipe my eyes. I hate myself for having a breakdown. It makes me feel like a baby, but I can't help crying. I shiver as a night breeze blows in through the barred window. I look through the window. There aren't too many stars, but there are a few, and I think they're pretty. It's almost as pretty as a painting Jack did of the night sky once. I bet he could paint another one if I asked him to. Suddenly, my thoughts were interupted by a loud whisper coming from outside, "Crutchie!"
I can recognize Jack's voice, even when he's whispering. "Jack!" I feel a grin creeping up on my face.
His face pops up in between the gaps of the wooden planks in front of the window. "How are ya?" he asks slowly.
Should I tell Jack? He's my brother I have to. But then he might get worried and call off the strike or something. "I'se okay, Jack..." I lie.
He frowns, "No, stop lyin'. You ain't okay, and I know it."
Is Jack mad at me? I really hope he's not. He can definately tell I'm lying. Tears appear in the corners of my eyes. I sniff, "J-Jack-"
He cuts me off, his tone soft, "Hey, hey, come over here."
I don't have my crutch. I don't think I can make it to Jack, but I have to try. I slowly try and get up, gripping the side of my bunk tightly. Once I manage to stand, a wave of pain rushes up my good leg, and I fall on my bed. "Ow..." I mumble.
Jack is trembling now, which makes me feel even worse. "Crutchie... I'se so sorry..." he whispers.
"Please, don't worry about me, Jack. I'll be okay, I promise."
He shakes his head, "I'm gonna break ya outta here somehow. Don't worry."
I pause, then sigh, "How?"
Jack looks at me, a nervous look in his eyes, "I'll think of somethin'. Please, just, hang on..."
I force a smile, but I know Jack can tell it's fake. "I'll... I'll try," I say, looking down.
He nods, "Ok... I should probably go now, before anyone catches me. Bye, Crutchie. Remember, I'll get ya out. Somehow."
Was that a failed attempt at angst? Let me know in a review :')
