What Did He Do?
Another one of my Hichigo crack centered stories. Insane, crazy, and at times.. I don't know. So R&R. Or a horse trailer will find it's way through your window.
I don't own Bleach, Fast Five, Call of Duty, or McDonalds.
Hichigo wandered aimlessly once again. The grey buildings gleaming in the light of the inner world, he stared out to as far as he could, as if it would change somehow. They were sideways, and mostly the same. He sat down, not even caring to look for Zangetsu.
After about 20 agonizing seconds of silence and pure boredom Hichigo stood up and decided to go find Zangetsu. He sort of had an idea of were the old man pole was, so he went there first. It was the next building over and currently, Zangetsu wasn't there.
But there was a note.
-If you're looking for me, Hichigo, then don't even think about it. I'm taking my time off from you and I really need this time to myself. Also, don't read the rest of this note.
Hichigo rolled his eyes. There wasn't anything else to read, was there?
If you're someone other than Hichigo that really needs to find me, I've relocated and set up an office on the third floor of this building. It's really nice and relaxing in there, and I even have a fish tank.
-Zangetsu.
"Asshole…" Hichigo muttered. 'He thinks he can make his own office and hide it from me? Well he has another thing coming to him if he believes that I'll listen to his stupid note.' With that, Hichigo found the door to the sideways building and lowered himself inside.
When he got inside, it was as if gravity shifted and now it was normal. Hichigo fell onto the floor faster than he could even wonder about it. Grumbling and rubbing his head, he stood up. It was obvious Zangetsu had been at work. The bottom floor had been converted into what looked to be the lobby of a very expensive hotel. A large chandelier hung from the ceiling and large plush couches were all around. But all this didn't concern Hichigo at the slightest.
In no time he located the elevator and pressed the button for the third floor. Walking inside, he noticed the elevator music wasn't that of a normal elevator. Strangely, it played a particularly upbeat song that in parts went, 'You wanna see some action, wanna be the center of At-tract-tion.!'
When the door opened to the third floor he noticed one thing. Zangetsu's picture was absolutely everywhere. Him in different poses, him killing a hollow, even one with him and Ichigo. Hichigo suddenly wondered why he never remembered when any of the photos were taken, or where he even was during them anyways. Putting this and many other unanswered thoughts aside, he went towards the one door that was in the hall next to the elevator, and opened it.
The room, wasn't just a room itself. He had stepped into a large entryway with more pictures lining the wall. A fireplace was in the center of the room and various furniture was all around the room. Hichigo had to admit, Zangetsu did have a good taste in decorating.
Taking the first door he could find, he had entered a large kitchen with even a bar area. All the appliances and even the countertops were stainless steel, and everything gleamed in cleanliness. Hichigo suddenly wondered if Zangetsu even ate.
Hichigo was about to go onto the next room, when a door opened. There was Ichigo, standing in slight shock with an empty bowl in hand. A shout of, "Hurry the heck up! You just got sniped!" came from the other room. Obviously Zangetsu.
"H-Hichigo. I thought you…." Ichigo cleared his throat, and decided to choose his words carefully. "Were busy.."
"Busy? BUSY? You assholes were living it up in some kind of palace while I was bored out of my mind on the freaking sideways buildings?"
Zangetsu walked up behind Ichigo to see what was wrong, only to freeze up at the sight of Hichigo. "You.. You didn't listen to my note… Did you?"
Hichigo shot a glare at Zangetsu, and he shrunk back a bit. Knowing his and Ichigo's secret hideout was now a place of the past.
"Where's the fish tank asshole?" Hichigo spat. "This looks to be a lot more than an office."
"It's in the back…. This whole thing…" Zangetsu started to explain. "It started out as an office. But then, we added to it?" Ichigo nodded and looked to inch by Hichigo, but Hichigo wasn't moving an inch.
"I'm going to destroy this place. You both hear me? I'm going to DESTROY IT!" Hichigo clenched his fists, his eyes aflame in anger.
Ichigo and Zangetsu exchanged looks, "Operation get Hichigo away from the awesome tricked out office?" Ichigo asked.
Zangetsu nodded and quickly pulled out a little dart gun. Hichigo looked puzzled, but when the dart lodged itself in his arm, he understood what was going on. That's when it all went black.
He was starting to be able to see a bit of light, but everything was blurry and out of focus. The sounds of a city and people were obvious, but what was strange is the person standing over him, injecting a needle in his arm. "He's waking up!" the person called, and others gathered around.
Hichigo found himself to be lying on the pavement in what he thought to be Karakura town. Wearing a t-shirt that had the word Pendulum on the front, he also became aware that he was wearing what humans called skinny jeans in the black color along with a pair of checkered vans.
These people, who soon in his mind registered as paramedics were all around him. Quickly sitting up, his vision cleared completely.
"What the hell?" he stated quickly, and two paramedics came over.
"Do you remember anything?" they asked him.
Well, he did, but he really couldn't explain to some human paramedics that the last thing he remembered is that he was an inner hollow in a world with sideways buildings that reside in the mind of a 15 year old teenager. He also couldn't tell them that he had found the said teenager and the spirit of the teenager's sword creating a palace inside one of the buildings either.
"Not… Really.." he answered. "I don't know how I got here." He answered.
"Well then we will take you to the hospital and you can spend your time there-"
"Heck no! I'm in the human world! I'm going to do as much with this as I can!" he cheered, bolting up ignoring the needle in his arm and taking off down the street.
"But sir…." One of the paramedics muttered, confused as ever.
Hichigo took off down the street and in his haste, ran over someone, who it was, he wasn't sure. But in the process, he was also on the ground himself. The good thing was, the needle fell out.
"What the-" he was cut off by the large red purse being hit over his head.
"Disrespect!" a voice shouted. Hichigo looked over and there was a little old lady, and she was in the process of beating him with her purse.
"You!" slam "Disrespectful!" slam "Kids these days!" slam
The assault finally ended and the woman brushed herself off and went off down the street, a satisfied look on her face. Hichigo was dazed.
"What in the hell was that?"
Standing up and brushing his own self off, he went down the street, though not running this time. After a few minutes of walking, he was bored once again. He would have started destroying things if it wasn't for the fact that all his spiritual power seemed to be non-existent, and he couldn't find his zanpakutou to save his life.
So he was bored, but not for long. Soon, he ran right into a blue haired man, and said man didn't look very happy about this.
"What the heck man?" the blue-haired man stated.
"I don't even know." Hichigo replied.
"You know what? I'm in a generally pissed off mood. So I'm gonna beat your ass. Right here. Right now." The man stated, cracking his knuckles. His leather jacket and overall aura was intimidating, but Hichigo wasn't one to be intimidated.
"Don't be so sure about that." Hichigo replied, lowing himself into a fighting stance. It was now or never. He wasn't going to let some human beat him up.
"My name is Grimmjow. Get ready to get your ass pummeled."
"I'm Hichigo. Same goes for you."
Grimmjow threw the first punch. As it whizzed through the air, Hichigo understood the power in it. He also knew if it were to make contact with his jaw, like it was intended for, it would of most definitely broke it.
Hichigo didn't waste time to counter though, his foot came out for a vicious roundhouse kick to the blue-haired's side, but the man blocked it and took the full force of it with the side of his arm. "So you aren't as much of a wuss as I though you were, you little white haired freak."
"It's better than blue!" Hichigo shouted out as he sent a punch right for Grimmjow's nose. Grimmjow attempted to block it, but all the force, in turn, was still not stopped.
Removing his hand, Grimmjow's nose was now bleeding. "Okay you little human scum, you have some game, I guess it's time to step it up a notch."
Hichigo paused, and stood back. "What, are you not human or something?" he asked, a curious look in his eyes.
"No! Of course not!" Grimmjow answered quickly, and nervously.
"So you're not human?"
"No.. I mean…" Grimmjow started saying trying to find the right words to explain.
"It's all right. I'm not either." Hichigo stated.
Grimmjow's eyes popped. "What else would you be? You're in the human-"
"I'm a hollow." Hichigo replied. "Not that you would know what that was, anyways."
Grimmjow just nodded. "I know what hollows are. I'm an arrancar. A hollow that has taken off its mask. How would you still be a full hollow?" he inquired. Both Hichigo and Grimmjow had long given up fighting, even though Grimmjow's nose was still bleeding profusely.
"It's hard to explain. But since we're both in the same situation here, let's team up? My abilities are limited, and I'm pretty sure yours are too. So let's create some havoc."
Grimmjow held out a hand and nodded, And Hichigo and him shook, agreeing on the deal. "I think I even have a good idea for what to do…." Grimmjow stated.
Hichigo smiled.
With black ski masks covering their distinctive hair colors, they at the same time kicked open the door to the local Karakura gun store. "Drop to the floor! We'll shoot you all!" Grimmjow shouted out. The four people in the store inside ducked to the floor. The guns lining the wall were being just plain out admired by Grimmjow as he walked over to the front counter.
Hichigo whispered with his own pistol raised high. "Are you sure this is how we do this?"
Grimmjow nodded, "This is just how they do it in the few human movies I've watched."
Pointing his pistol at the guy behind the counter, "Unlock all the guns. Now." he ordered.
The man behind the counter just nodded and proceeded to unlock all the guns. Grimmjow pointed out a few, and the man set them out on the counter. Hichigo then walked up. "Get the ammunition you have for these too."
The man turned around and searched through some shelves. Meanwhile, Grimmjow and Hichigo were looking over guns.
"Hey! This one's in Call of Duty! It looks like the M-16!" Grimmjow stated.
"Idiot. That's the AR-15, not the M-16." Hichigo told him.
"How would you know that?" Grimmjow said, giving Hichigo a curious look.
"I have no idea, alright! Just pick it up dumbass!"
Grimmjow nodded and grabbed the ammunition that had been set out on the table for the gun.
Hichigo then picked up the Ak-47 on the table, along with the ammunition that went along with it. With that, they both ran out the door to the gun store, hoping to avoid the source of the sound of the incoming sirens.
Hichigo and Grimmjow sat on some cars inside what looked to be an abandoned warehouse.
"Hey Grimmjow?" Hichigo said, getting the blue-haired's attention.
"What?"
"Have you seen fast five?"
Two sleek black cars made their way down a normal Karakura street. The speed they were going, was nothing but normal. They were driving past houses at highway speeds, and generally scaring the shit out of the resident population. But the speed at which the cars were going, wasn't what was scaring the people. It was the fact that these two cars were dragging a large wheel-less horse trailer down the street that was connected to the back of these cars by large lengths of chain.
"Is this the closest we could get to a safe?" Hichigo asked into his own mini radio. He kept his eyes on the road and his foot on the petal of the car. Who knew he could drive? He didn't.
"Well we aren't exactly rolling in the cash!" Grimmjow shouted back through his own radio.
As they kept going, every resident was amazed a line of cops wasn't following the two cars. The street they were dragging the wheel-less horse trailer down was lit up by the sparks.
Hichigo then spotted someone. "That damn bitch!" he shouted as he saw the lady from before that had beaten him with the purse walking down the street. Swerving to the left, he attempted to hit her.
"What in the hell are you doing!" Grimmjow shouted into his radio. "You're sending us off course!"
"But-"
"No freaking buts! You can run over people later! Right now, we have a random movie I've never seen to reenact!"
Hichigo sighed and stopped turning towards the lady, and strangely, she didn't even turn towards the two black cars rocketing down the street and the horse trailer they were pulling.
"Corner!" Grimmjow called out. Both the cars smoothly made it around the corner, but the horse trailer swung widely. In seconds, they were now dragging a trailer through a McDonalds.
"Take that fast food!" Hichigo called out.
"Shut up…" Grimmjow muttered.
The horse trailer was now done plowing through a McDonalds, and now Hichigo knew were they were. "Okay. One more block and we reach the bank."
"Got it."
In the next block, the bank of Karakura came into sight.
"1….."
Grimmjow put his right foot on top of the brake.
"2…"
Hichigo put his right foot on top of the brake.
"3!"
Both Hichigo and Grimmjow turned and braked sharply as the horse trailer plummeted through the bank wall. Glass and debris littered the air as the trailer swung wildly.
After the car came to a stop and the wall was completely destroyed, Hichigo and Grimmjow got out of the cars. Both were dressed fully in black. Hichigo had his AK-47 in hand and Grimmjow with his AR-15. Both nodded to each other and ran inside the bank.
"Get down on the ground!" Grimmjow shouted. But it didn't matter, everyone was already seeking cover from when the horse trailer had come rocketing through the wall.
"I told you that wouldn't be necessary." Hichigo reminded.
"Shut up…" Grimmjow grumbled. The walking over to the front desk, Grimmjow shouted out, "Who can open the safe! Someone better do it, or I'll… I'll… Hichigo, what do we do?"
Hichigo sighed. "You take one of the hostages, and threaten their life."
Grimmjow took one of the hostages, and held them up by the shirt. "I will threaten this hostage's life if someone doesn't open the safe!"
Hichigo's eyes bugged out. "Idiot! You ACTUALLY threaten them! Not threaten to threaten them!"
Grimmjow dropped the hostage. "Why should I listen to you? I think I've been doing a pretty good job so far!"
"Yeah right! I've been leading, planning, and everything else! You haven't done shit!" Hichigo shouted back.
"Oh you think so? Do you?"
"Yeah! I DO!"
Sirens were coming from the front of the bank; police and SWAT were surrounding it.
"You're such a dumbass! A weakling!"
"You're a dumbass!"
"You are!"
"You are!"
"No you are!"
"No you-"
Hichigo was cut off by the sound of a clip going into a gun. That's when he saw it, SWAT members and police, all surrounding them.
"Well shit….."
Hichigo was, bored. Again. Sitting into a cell next to Grimmjow Jeagerjaques wasn't that interesting. He was mad at Grimmjow anyways, so they really didn't have much to talk about. But he was, though, interested by the sound of a garganta opening. A garganta had opened in front of the cell, and who walks out? Aizen Sosuke. The same guy that Hichigo remembered Ichigo getting almost killed by in one slash. Bad news.
Then Grimmjow walked out of his own cell. But he was in white clothes, similar to that of which Aizen was wearing. Grimmjow also now had the fragment of a mask on his face. "See you around Hichigo." Grimmjow said as he followed Aizen into the garganta. Hichigo just blinked. 'Did I just see what I thought I just saw?'
Not too long after, Zangetsu and Ichigo walked up to Hichigo's cell. Hichigo was going to say something, but then Ichigo cut him off. "I don't care what you did, as long as I never have to know." With that, Hichigo and Zangetsu went back into Ichigo's inner world.
Ichigo was sitting at the breakfast table, eating cereal, and watching the local news.
-Reports say that two cars dragged a horse trailer through city streets. They took out and entire McDonalds, then finally crashing the horse trailer through the wall of the local bank. The two were armed and attempted to rob the bank, but they were stopped before they could.-
'Criminals….. They just get crazier and crazier..'
-In breaking news. They have somehow escaped from the local prison, if you spot these two highly dangerous criminals, please report them to your local police.-
On the TV screen, Hichigo and Grimmjow's picture was shown.
Ichigo started coughing on his cereal.
-Also, these criminals are said to be related to a robbery at a gun store.-
"Hichigooooooooo!"
I guess you all understand the horse trailer threat now. XD