"I do recall now the smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane

That July 9th the beat of your heart

It jumps through your shirt, I can still feel your arms..."

Day - 1, July ninth 1:58 am.

"I love you, Kurt."

Kurt could feel Blaine's lips ghost over his ear and his breath fan over the side of his face. Smiling Kurt breathed out a sigh and just as he was about snuggle down further the arms holding him began to release him. Whimpering Kurt tried to move further back following the warmth of his boyfriend only to feel the bed dip and rise back up again, leaving behind a cold breeze and the feel of his heart constricting. Looking up he saw the time reflecting on the ceiling; 1.58 am, Saturday, July ninth, 2011.

"Blaine?" Kurt's voice came out hollow and croaking due to the sleep. After the sound of rustling in the other room he staggered out of bed and slumped to the door finding the apartment barely lit and a Shadow heading towards the door. "Blaine, where are you going? Is everything okay?"

Blaine turned around and the look on his face made Kurt cover his mouth in hope to stop the sob from breaking through. Blaine's face lit by the light of the small lamp sitting near the door, showed no emotion, an empty canvas. In his hand there was a small bag, no doubt filled with some clothes to do him until he got to where ever he was headed of to.

"I love you." Was the last thing he said before he opened the door and seemed to hesitate, giving Kurt a chance to run to him. Throwing his arms around Blaine's waist he could feel the older man freeze, his breath hitch and stutter out unevenly.

Kurt could feel his tears roll down his face, unable to wipe them away. He tried to move around to the front of Blaine, try to look him in the eyes, try to see and find out what was going on. Blaine held his head down look not looking up to meet Kurt's eyes.

"Blaine..." Kurt couldn't finish off his sentence, but truth be told he didn't even know what he was going to say. Instead he looked down and hugged Blaine feeling like this would be the last time he would ever get to this.

Leaning his head against Blaine's chest, Kurt could feel the erratic beating of his heart, Kurt willed all this to be a nightmare and the beating of Blaine's heart to stop and calm down, but of course Kurt knew that this was real, how could it not be, the fear of losing Blaine was pumping through his blood a mile a second.

Kurt took a deep breath and looked up at Blaine, who was still looking any where but him. Another pain shot through Kurt's' heart.

"I love you to, I love you, I love you so damned much Blaine, I really do." The sobs broke through and he ducked his head into Blaine's chest again,leaving him feel hopeless and the control leave him with every passing second. He could feel Blaine shift around him and his hands lie on his back, just holding him, no comfort, no warm, just holding him.

Kurt looked up one last time and stopped breathing. Blaine was looking at him, looking at him in the eyes. Blaine's eyes seemed to show off a deep sea of lost emotions, although none of them were playing on his face and Kurt knew that he was trying to hold back his true feelings, and that seemed to hurt more than anytihng, the fact that Blaine was willinging hiding this from him. Kurt took a deep breath again and closed his eyes, trying to stop his tears from falling and from the look in Blaine's eyes. The look was killing Kurt and he had know idea why he was getting this look, why this was even happening in the first place.

Opening his eyes again he saw Blaine still had not looked away but there was one emotion Kurt could see in his eyes. Pain, deep heart wrenching pain.

On impulse Kurt leaned in and pressed his lips to Blaine's and after a few seconds he could feel Blaine return action with deep need of his own, as if Blaine was trying to remember the taste and feel of him. Kurt had never felt Blaine kiss like this and it made his heart seem to break even more, he knew this was it their last kiss, their last goodbye.

Blaine's hand rose until it was wiping away the fresh round of tears on Kurt's face. Kurt closed his eyes once again welcoming the light touch although he felt like he was falling off a high building knowing he is about to hit the ground. He didn't think he could with this, this was Blaine, the man he had been with since he was seventeen, his high school sweetheart, his soul mate, his friend, his best friend, his lover. His.

Blaine finally broke off the kiss, leaning his head against Kurt's, but Kurt didn't dare open his eyes yet, fear was holding his steady, helping him from screaming and yelling at what was going on, why was he leaving, why now. Blaine had said he loved him, so why is he leaving?

Kurt could feel Blaine stroke his cheek and the hand fall from his face. Eyes springing open and began to shake his head and whimpering again, this can't be happening, Blaine can't just leave, this was his home too, they both lived here with nowhere else to go, they had lived here for seven years, made a perfect life, had a perfect life, loved each other, no they still love each other they just have to.

The smile that was on Blaine's face was not one of happiness or sadness, it just seemed to be there to comfort them both, make it seem that this was the right thing to do.

Kurt let go of Blaine, he didn't know why or how he did but that smile seemed to shut him down. Leaving him feeling empty and emotionless, this was it in a few steps Blaine would be gone, out of the door and away.

As Blaine began to move away Kurt's hand flew out grabbing him, but not stopping him just to touch him, just to feel him. Blaine's eyes fell to his hand and he squeezed it and let it drop, hanging there.

Kurt stood as still as he could listening to everything around him listening to Blaine breath, listening to his own heart beat almost out of his chest.

Blaine looked around the empty hall and moved forward only looking back once as his hand reached for the door handle. Blaine's own tears falling seeming less down his face as he opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He couldn't get his voice to work, couldn't get his brain to work, all he could think is, "This is for the best, Kurt, I love you, I love you..."

He could feel a sob about to break through his chest so he began to pull the door closed, and once the door made the faint click he knew it was done, Kurt would and could move on the way he was meant to with out having to deal with his problems.

Kurt didn't know what to do. Once he heard the door close there was a moment of silence before he heard a broken sob come from the other side of the door, and it took all he had not to pull the door open and pull Blaine back in and keep him in here.

Kurt then felt his knees being to shake, or maybe they had already been shaking he really didn't know but they were certainly shaking now as was almost every other part of his body. He didn't think he could make it back to his bed, he didn't think he could sleep in the bed ever again, let alone for tonight, so he moved towards the couch and pulled the blankets that were neatly folded over the arms of the seat around him.

Curling up in a ball be grabbed the cushions and squeezed them tight before he finally let his tears and sobs run free.