A/N1: Hello everybody~ I'm back after a loooong hiatus. Well, shit has been going on in my life because of school and all that jazz. I'm in Junior College now! (i think its high school in some countries? I'm not too sure) So that's why I've been busy with life. Anyhoo. Instead of writing any Kuroshitsuji FF I wrote this short KnB drabble instead. But its because of some... emotional issues I'm facing right now. Well. I tend to want to write angst when I'm down or depressed so... here it is! I'm really apologetic to those who are waiting for Drunk to be updated though. I'm really too busy to continue it now. But maybe I would in the near future so please don't forget me 'kay! Okay now. I should get on with the story... :D I shall see you guys at the bottom of the page then! And also... I'm sorry if there are any dumb mistakes in the text... Please forgive me! TxT
Disclaimer: KnB does not belong to me! It belongs to the awesome artist-sama so yeahhhh...
Warnings: One-sided (?), lotsa angst (i hope :P), possible errors. This thing is unbeta-ed and I kinda wrote it in (chem practical) class (in the lab lol) so... yeahhhh..
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Untitled.
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He couldn't help but feel anxious sometimes.
When he was sure the taller male was not looking, he would stare at Kagami's broad, strong back, only to have fear and anxiety settle in his heart.
Kagami was bound to leave him one day. He always knew. It was inevitable, just like how Aomine had left him.
He always knew that Kagami, with his talent, would unavoidably progress faster; he would succeed rapidly and gain recognition as a great basketball player. And at the same time, he would leave Kuroko behind. Kuroko knew that he could never catch up with his light—he would run out of stamina too soon, and his legs would give way. He was weak, pathetically so, compared to his light. Kuroko always thought that he could see the invisible wings on Kagami's back; spreading, ready to let him take flight. How would he be able to catch up then?
Yet, Kuroko held on. He continued to be the 'shadow', even though he knew deep down that it was hurting him further. But he wanted Kagami to shine brighter, he wanted to help Kagami reach his goal; and he was willing to sacrifice himself to make his light happy.
Whenever Kuroko ponders on how Kagami would leave him, he feels a constricting pain in his heart, but his face stays emotionless, remains as placid as still milk. And then, when Kagami decides to randomly ruffle his hair in affection, he was only so far away from being unable to stop the tears that threatened to spill. Kuroko loved Kagami. Deeply so, he was sure it was even more than how he had felt towards Aomine. But he struggled to maintain a platonic relationship with the dense red-head out of fear that he would leave him all the sooner if he knew.
On days when they had no basketball practice, Kagami invites Kuroko over to have a study session; which mostly ends up with Kagami falling asleep while doing his homework. And this day, they were at Kagami's again. The taller male was snoring lightly as he slept, claiming that he was 'exhausted' from only an hour of differentiation.
Kuroko watched him as he slept, eyes taking in every minute detail he could spot. His bottled-up emotions were threatening to overflow, and he could not stop himself when he started to speak.
"Ne, Kagami-kun," he said softly, his whisper loud in the blaring silence of the room. When it elicited no response, he deemed it safe to continue speaking. After all, he definitely could not allow Kagami to know.
"You know, Kagami-kun. It really hurts. It really hurts to be your shadow," he continued, eyes cast downwards toward the cool parquet flooring. He paused a little, unsure of how to carry on, and drew his knees closer to his chest.
"It's… It's because I know you'll leave me when the time comes. It always happens…"
Hugging his legs, he rested his head on folded arms, pale blue bangs obscuring his face. Crystalline teardrops started to spill forth from his eyelids and down is pale cheeks as all his feelings started to overflow; but he continued to speak, his new-found courage empowering him.
"Ne, Kagami-kun. I really like you, you know…" His voice wavered, and he trailed off, choking sobs starting to take over his speech. He stood up abruptly and rushed to the bathroom, hoping to hide there until his inner turmoil calms a little, and to make sure that Kagami did not see his weak side. Kagami did not need to know the pain he felt. It would only trouble and hinder him, he thought.
And so Kuroko stayed in there for fifteen minutes, until he was sure that his tears have dried, and no more will fall.
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A/N2: How was it? Good? Bad? Not angsty enough? Too angsty? Leave a comment and R&R! Constructive criticism is much appreciated!
And oh my goodness i feel so bad for doing this to my cute Kurokocchi DX I may or may not continue this, so i shall just leave it as complete for now :D
Oh. And just an afterthought. But about the title, I felt that it was fitting to name it "Untitled."... But i dont really know how to explain how. I guess its because its almost like Kuroko's feelings are hidden and cant be told from just his expressions and actions, just like how you cant tell a document's content when its untitled. But i'll leave it to you guys to interpret it. You can post it in the reviews if you like! :D