Shades

by EstelRaca

Double. Alternate. Brother. He's not sure what to call Onodera Yuusuke, but that won't stop Godai from trying, with all his heart and soul, to save him from the darkness they both have to keep locked inside. SPOILERS for both Decade and Kuuga. Complete.

Disclaimer: Decade and Kuuga aren't mine; I just love both shows.

Warnings: This contains spoilers for both Decade and the end of Kuuga, because I'm fascinated by the idea of Godai and Onodera meeting. There's mention of character deaths, though things happen off-screen; also mostly off-screen murder and torture. Hope you guys enjoy!

Shades

They find him four weeks after they start looking for him.

Four weeks too long, Godai thinks quietly, just to himself when he's alone. There's no sense upsetting anyone else with his fears, his disappointment, his anger. Not when everyone's been working so hard.

It's just so frustrating. Frustrating and unfair, because they had it. They had all the information, a world, a position, one of their own in danger, and they responded as fast as possible. As efficiently as possible, but who would think that you could move a whole facility between worlds as easily as people?

Maybe they should have expected it. Been prepared for at least the possibility, since Decade dragged his home behind him quite easily, but still…

He burns the first two Riders who try to go near him. Godai hears Momotaros and Ryoutarou cry out, a harsh, loud sound that becomes a string of curses as Imajin separates from host. Dropping the last of the unconscious Shocker troopers to the ground, he sprints around the corner in time to see Hibiki kick the door shut, grunting in dismay while slapping at the flames on his head and shoulders.

"What happened?" Godai kneels down by Ryoutarou, armored hand reaching out to the burned young man.

Momotaros' growl probably has words in it, but they aren't comprehensible as he slaps Godai's hand away. Settling into a protective crouch by his host, the Imajin snarls again. "He's insane. Your alternate's out of his damn mind."

"He's scared." Ryoutarou says the words slowly, and his expression's dazed. One hand reaches up toward the worst of the burns, on his right shoulder and neck, though he doesn't actually touch them. "Scared and hurt and… dangerous. Incredibly dangerous, Godai-san."

A moment passes, just a few long seconds while Godai accepts the news, confirmation of things he's been having nightmares about for weeks now. But sitting here isn't going to help anyone, and there are things that need to be done if he's going to try to fix everything. "Go home, Nogami-san."

"Eh?" It's Momotaros who responds first, a growl of mixed frustration and uncertainty. The Imajin loves fighting, and would likely continue to fight happily despite the burns, but he's also extremely protective of his host.

"We're all right." Staggering to his feet, Ryoutarou braces himself against the wall for a moment before straightening. He's not the child that he looks to be, Godai knows, but it's still painful to watch him. "We can still fight."

"I'm sure you could. But it's not needed." Straightening, Godai starts moving further down the corridor. He manages not to look at the closed door, though a large part of him wants to simply rush in and see how awful things really are. "We've basically got control of the facility. Go get bandaged up, catch a few hours sleep, and you can come back and be in the first round of guard duty if you really want to. All right?"

After a few moments of what Godai can only assume is silent deliberation the Imajin grunts out an affirmative. It's either a sign that Ryoutarou's hurt worse that he was letting on or that the Imajin's learning patience.

"Hibiki, you can also go take care of…" Godai trails off, taking in the Oni's unblemished skin.

"It may not be as impressive as yours, Godai-san, but I've got a bit of a healing ability of my own." Hibiki's wry humor oozes from the words, and his hand is wonderfully, reassuringly firm on Godai's shoulder. "So let's finish this fast."

They do finish it fast, because most of the enemy has already scattered and broken. With their generals gone, those few troops who remain either flee to other worlds or commit suicide by Rider.

He manages to wait until they've got the entire facility locked down and under Rider control before approaching the door. Just a simple metal thing, at least from this side, but with a half-dozen locks running along the side. Not that locks matter. Not to them. He could destroy the entire wall with a single kick, and his stomach turns as he tries not to imagine what would keep the object of this whole quest from doing the same.

He drops his armor before reaching out to the doorknob. Best not to look threatening or dangerous. Taking a deep breath, he slips inside, slamming the door shut behind him.

Hot.

Heat, anger, terror, rage, pounding against him, washing over him, and he forgets to breathe for a moment as he struggles to keep his clothes, his hair, his skin from bursting into flame.

The pressure doesn't stop. Doesn't lessen, even, so he grits his teeth, drags in a gasping breath, and forces his eyes to focus on the room's occupant.

He's manacled, black bands around his wrists and ankles. Dark links of chain bind his hands together, bind his feet together, with a final chain keeping him in place, crouched barely fifty centimeters from the wall. His clothes are blood-soaked and tattered, his feet bare. His Kuuga armor flickers around him, black and gold, and with each attempted transformation blood trickles down his hands and feet, patters to the floor in a steady stream.

"Onodera-kun." Godai can barely hear his own voice over the pounding of blood in his ears, the terrible, furious pressure bearing down on his soul. "It's all right now. I swear. You're safe."

It's hard to tell if the younger man even hears him, impossible to say if he understands. Teeth bared in a feral snarl, Onodera Yuusuke watches him warily.

Forcing his feet to move, Godai edges closer to the younger man, crouching down to meet his eyes. Dark eyes, covered every other second by darker armor, but worrying about that right now won't help anything. "Please, Onodera-kun. Calm down. Look at me. Remember me. I'm your friend, Yuusuke."

That does get a reaction, and Godai jumps back a step as Onodera Yuusuke screams, lunging against the restraints, hands and feet sliding in the scattered puddles of fresh blood he's leaving. The heat and pressure redoubles, and Godai finds himself retreating until his back's against the door.

His eyes close, squeeze tightly shut as he struggles to keep the darkness at bay. To keep the mirror power, seething and lurking in his own soul, from escaping. To keep his hatred, his anger, his overwhelming sorrow that they could do something like this to someone like Yuusuke from escaping, and making this bad situation just that much worse.

It's hard to think, so damn hard to even breathe, but he has to, and he can't even tell if Onodera's still screaming—

"That's it, Yuusuke. Keep them away. Keep everyone away."

The voice is clear, calm, terribly familiar and utterly impossible.

Forcing his eyes open, Godai stares at the young man, taking in the black and pink leather, the fly-away hair, the cocky tilt to his head. The man who can't be there, who certainly shouldn't be looking like that kneels down at Onodera's side, settles one hand on the Rider's shoulder, and Yuusuke immediately huddles against him.

Godai doesn't move, staying as perfectly still as he can manage. His head's starting to hurt, pounding in time with his heartbeat, with the waves of madness and destruction from Onodera, with the tangible, horrible energy locked in the room with them.

Tsukasa's hand moves to Yuusuke, strokes his hair with what almost seems a gentle touch, and the young man's head droops down bit by bit. The frantic flickering of Kuuga's armor finally slows, stops, and the deep wounds that are etched into his wrists and ankles begin to heal.

"Onodera." Godai's voice sounds thready and strained, and he pauses to try to get a solid breath before continuing. "Yuusuke. Please let me—"

"Go." Onodera's voice is a scratchy, hoarse growl. "Go away or I'll hurt you."

"You won't." Shaking his head, Godai resists the urge to run forward, to grab the younger man and hold him, protect him, fix the horrible brokenness in his eyes. "I can—"

"No." Standing with a self-assured grace, heedless of the blood he's moving through or the shivering that Onodera starts as soon as his hand's gone, Kadoya Tsukasa stalks toward him. "You will leave. Leave us alone. Stop trying to use him, or we'll kill every last one of you. He can do that, you know."

There's a curious twist to the way Tsukasa says the last part, and his eyes track toward Yuusuke for a moment, smirk falling away.

"You don't…" There's not enough air to breathe with in here. Not enough oxygen, a part of him whispers silently, and Godai shivers as he tries to keep his vision from blurring. "I want to help. I swear to you, I want to help you, Yuusuke. You can trust me."

"He can't." Tsukasa says it easily, with a nonchalance that doesn't belong anywhere near this situation as he goes back and kneels by Yuusuke. Again Yuusuke huddles against him, and his shivering subsides as soon as Tsukasa's hand touches him. "He can't even trust himself right now, Godai Yuusuke. There's no possible way he could trust you. Especially not when you're so very close to becoming just… like… him."

Tsukasa's mouth quirks up into a cold smile, mocking, but there is sorrow in his eyes and a deep, tender gentleness in the way his hand moves across Yuusuke's hair, neck, shoulders, back and—and—

And he's right, far too right.

It feels like running away. It feels like a betrayal, pounding on the door to be let out, and swinging it closed so cavalierly before may have been the worst mistake of his life.

But it's only a second before it opens, and despite the fact that he can barely breathe he's got enough coordination to get through the opening.

He forces himself to stay conscious and focused long enough to hear the deep thump of the door closing, the subtle clicks of the locks sliding into place.

Then he lets himself relax, and the world goes black.

XXX

He comes to slowly, in a brightly-lit, quiet room, with the background buzz of computers and the quiet, mindless humming that can only be Hibiki welcoming him back to consciousness.

Sitting up gingerly, he runs a hand through his hair. His skin feels raw, but looking at his hands shows there's nothing wrong with them.

"Good evening, Godai-san." Hibiki spins his chair, flicking a button to turn the computer display off. "How are you?"

"I'm all right." It's true. Being out of that room, away from the pressure, he's fine. "Has anyone gone—"

"No. I wouldn't allow anyone to open the door, not until you were conscious." Hibiki glances at the clock. "You were out for just over two hours."

"Really." Not bad, when compared to the other time he faced something like this. Daguva had beaten him half to death as well as flaying his soul, though, so it's not quite an accurate comparison.

"Your brother's in bad shape, isn't he?"

"Brother…" He likes it better than the disparaging double that Tendou uses, or the quiet distance that Yuuto's alternates engenders. Especially when it's said by Hibiki, in that direct, calm, gentle way he has of saying horrible things. "Yes. My brother's in… very bad shape."

"Do you think you can help him?"

Such a neutral tone. Nothing for the sharp reprimand that comes to his tongue to catch on, and Godai sighs and rubs at his face again. He feels like he's been burned, like every inch of his body and mind have been dipped in fire. "I will help him. I will save him."

"Is it safe for any of us to go near him?"

"No." He doesn't hesitate before answering. It's too important a question, and neither he nor Onodera would forgive themselves if something happened to another Rider because of them. "I'll take care of him."

"Is it safe for you to go near him?"

A question that needs to be asked, a question he really needs to answer, but it still hurts. "I…"

"What did he do to you, Godai Yuusuke?"

It's comforting, hearing his full name like that. Like Ichijo would say it, if he were here, and he suddenly misses his friend with a fierce, vibrant ache. Ichijou's steady determination had given him the power and strength of will to stand against Daguva and win. And as much as the comparison hurts, as much as he doesn't want to face it, the thing locked in the room with him and Onodera is very much like Daguva.

"Godai-san."

"Our belts come with a price. A danger. They're crafted from the same thing as the Grongi—the kaijin we fight. If we ever surrender our humanity—our compassion, our empathy… if we ever start wanting to inflict pain, terror, death—we become… something terrible. The ultimate darkness. The end of the world."

"And he's done that."

"No." His protest sounds feeble, and he jerks his eyes up to meet Hibiki's. "He's… whatever they did to him… I can bring him back. I will bring him back."

"Sometimes…" Hibiki's gaze drops to his hands, which are dexterously playing with a pen. "Sometimes we can't save our brothers, Godai."

He starts to protest, meets the Oni's gaze for a moment, and stops. They watched Hibiki's brother lose himself, becoming a monster that his student had to put down, and there hadn't been anything they could do about it.

"Not that I'm telling you to give up on him. But be careful. I don't want to have to come after you someday because you've… well, you understand."

"I do." Standing slowly, he stretches cramped muscles. "And I swear I won't let it happen. Now that I know… how bad things are… I'll be better able to control my own reactions. I won't take on more than I can handle."

"Good." Smiling, Hibiki leans back in his chair. "So the big question… what to do now. The others and I talked. At the moment, it sounds like the best thing to do would be to secure the building, make it a temporary base of operations."

"Why not just destroy it?" The thought of spending any length of time in someplace as defiled by human misery as this is distinctly unappealing.

"Because you need time with your brother, and the rest of the world's safe as long as he's locked in that room." Spinning the chair in a full circle, Hibiki picks up a thick file and hands it over. "One of my Takeshi contacts went through the system, trying to find information on Onodera for you. They built that room to contain him after they deemed him dangerous and uncontrollable. The walls—and door, when it's closed—are modified, combined with elements from something they're calling a moon stone and a half dozen other things. Science and magic from four different worlds, at least from what we've found so far. His power can't hurt it—yours, either. A very effective prison for any Kuuga."

"They've also got him chained to the wall." He fingers the edge of the file but doesn't open it. There are bound to be things in here he doesn't want to see.

"Also designed especially for Kuuga. Any time he tries to transform, the links contract, cutting into his wrists and ankles. They were planning on using those on you, too, assuming they took you alive."

"So they were coming after us."

"Oh, yes." Hibiki sighs. "Because one world full of monsters that want to kill you isn't enough."

"Is everyone all right?" A wave of guilt washes over him as he realizes he forgot to ask.

"We're all fine. Ryoutarou got… well, you know about that, but he'll be fine. Otherwise only a few cuts, bruises, a concussion or two, the usual."

"Good. That's good." Pacing back to the couch, Godai sits down again. "So we hold this place, at least until Onodera's better."

"Yes." Hibiki nods.

Fingers still playing with the file edge, Godai sighs. "I should probably start going through this, then. Though…"

"What?"

"Did we find them?" He looks up, catching Hibiki's gaze again. "Their bodies, at least?"

"Yes." Hibiki's smile fades, a deep sorrow taking its place. "The Hikari girl, her grandfather, and Decade. Your source was right."

His eyes squeeze shut of their own volition, grief that's not his own rising. He'll have to tell Onodera, though he suspects the younger man already knows.

"How much do you want to—need to—know, Godai?"

Anything that Onodera might know, and given how broken he is, Godai suspects that's everything. "Whatever you know so far."

"From what we've pieced together, Hikari Natsumi and her grandfather were killed quickly, probably before the group even knew they were being targeted. Kadoya Tsukasa… he was tortured, Godai. Tortured and… experimented on. Even after he was dead. Probably trying to figure out how he could connect to other worlds, or improve their abilities to do so, but we're not sure. Shouichi took the… took what was left. We'll give them a proper funeral, if you want. Maybe once your brother's better."

A Rider funeral for the man who tried to kill all the Riders. Godai smiles, fighting the urge to laugh, because it's really not funny. Just sad. Horribly, terribly sad, and it adds even more to his determination that Onodera's going to live. Live, and grieve, and give the people he so obviously loved a proper goodbye.

Which is the other question he has to ask, though he's pretty sure he already knows what Hibiki will say. "Were you listening? When I was inside with him?"

Hibiki hesitates a moment before nodding. "I couldn't hear everything clearly, but I wanted to be there in case you needed back up."

"You could hear me. And you could hear Onodera."

Hibiki nods, expression puzzled.

"Was there anyone else there? Any other voices that you heard?"

After a moment's careful consideration Hibiki shakes his head. "No. Why?"

"No reason. Just… confirming something for me."

Settling down, he opens the folder, forcing his eyes to make sense of the text. Text he doesn't want to read, horrible people doing terrible things, but he needs to know exactly what he's dealing with.

It's the only chance he has of saving Yuusuke, which somehow feels far too much like saving himself.

XXX

He waits until morning to go back into the room. It gives him time to read everything in the file, and then a few hours to sleep and assimilate it.

They haven't fed him in over a week. Haven't had any contact with him at all in over a week, because it was decided that prolonged isolation might make him more tractable while the physical danger to him would be minimal—and, a hasty scribbled note adds, it might make the physical danger from him smaller.

He allows himself the luxury of hating them for only an hour or so. Any longer than that is dangerous, and he needs to be calm, controlled, at peace with himself and the universe if he wants to help Onodera find his way back. Horrible things happen, more often than not to people who don't deserve them, but there are still more good people than bad, more hope than despair in the universe.

Didn't Decade show that clearly?

He brings a plastic bowl of rice with him. If he can get Onodera to trust him enough to eat, then he can offer more—water, clothes, better food. To take the shackles off, so he can transform without injuring himself.

The heat and pressure is just as bad as the first time, and Onodera crouches at the end of his shackles, watching him. He isn't transforming like the first time, though, so at least fresh blood isn't dripping onto the floor.

"Onodera Yuusuke." He speaks softly, using Yuusuke's full name. Even if he doesn't find it as comforting as Godai does, reminding him who and what he is as often as possible will be a good thing. "I've brought something for you. Food. Would you like it?"

"Go." Yuusuke doesn't blink, eyes fixed on Godai's hands. "Go away. Leave me alone."

"You don't really want that, Yuusuke." Yuusuke was what Kadoya Tsukasa and Hikari Natsumi called him. "I can take you out of here. I can set you free. You just need to get control of your power before—"

Onodera lunges against his bonds, screaming incoherently, and Godai feels his heart drop as he feels the darkness pushing even harder against him.

"I'm sorry, Yuusuke. Whatever I said that upset you, I didn't mean to. Please. Yuusuke, look at me. Recognize me. I'm you. I wouldn't ever want to hurt you, brother."

"Then stop talking about controlling him. Stop using your carrot-and-stick plans to try to use him." Tsukasa's voice, and the shade is suddenly leaning against the wall beside him.

Still dressed in his DaiShocker leathers, and Godai barely keeps himself from snarling and backing away. Tsukasa's not going to hurt him, not now, even if he looks like the Destroyer he once was.

If Tsukasa notices his unease, he doesn't let it show, watching Onodera. "Yuusuke's not yours. The only part of DaiShocker he ever belonged to was me. Biggest mistake you guys ever made, right there."

Yuusuke keens low in his throat, eyes fixed on Tsukasa, and slinks back against the wall.

So terrible, the things these people did, but that's something to be dealt with once Yuusuke accepts that he's free. "I'm not a part of DaiShocker, Yuusuke. That's what I've been trying to get you to see. It's me. Godai Yuusuke. Kuuga."

"Kuuga." Yuusuke presses even closer to the wall, knees drawing up, arms wrapping around his legs. "Won't let them have it. Kill them all. Kill them for what they did. What I did."

"You've done fine, Yuusuke." Tsukasa ambles over to Onodera's side of the room, ruffling his hair. "Just fine."

"I'm trying, Tsukasa." Yuusuke leans his head against the shade's knees, though his eyes stay focused on Godai. "I'm sorry."

"You're fine, Yuusuke." Tsukasa's fingers tangle in Yuusuke's hair, give it a brief tug. "Perfectly all right."

It's so very far from the truth. But arguing with Tsukasa is the last thing he should do if he wants Yuusuke to trust him.

"Yuusuke." He takes three slow steps into the room, covering half of the distance between himself and the younger man. Kneeling down, he holds out the bowl of rice. "I brought you food, Yuusuke. You've got to be hungry."

Onodera stares at the bowl warily, as though it could turn into a Grongi at any moment. Flicking his gaze to Tsukasa, he tilts his head.

Tsukasa smiles, as usual, but Godai's getting better at reading the expressions lying underneath the smiles. Sorrow, mainly, though there's a terrible anger and helplessness lurking underneath even that. "You need to know what the cost's going to be, Yuusuke."

Nodding, Onodera turns his face resolutely away, staring at the corner of the room. "Won't give you anything. Won't."

"I don't want anything from you, Yuusuke." Taking another step forward, he continues to hold out the bowl. "I just want to help you."

Tsukasa comes forward, staring at the bowl. After a moment's hesitation, he grabs Godai's jaw, turning his face up and studying it.

Cold. Ice, sliding along the skin of his face, freezing the blood that Yuusuke's trying to boil, and Godai can feel his teeth starting to chatter as he stares into Tsukasa's eyes. Willing him to believe, to understand, so that Yuusuke will trust him, and he's starting to lose track of what can and can't be real in here.

"You…" Tsukasa's fingers push up on his jaw, ice knives drawing him to his feet. Another blizzard parts his shirt, slides along his stomach until it hovers over the pulsing, angry warmth of Kuuga, and Godai clenches his teeth tight to keep from doing or saying anything.

Wrong, his instincts cry, all the culture he has been taught and all the fighting he has done and everything Kuuga knows warning that he is in danger. This man is dangerous—was dangerous, he corrects himself. This man almost killed them, once. This man has no right to be so close to them.

But if this is what it takes to get his vote of confidence, and thus Yuusuke's confidence…

"You really are Kuuga." Tsukasa steps back, moving to Yuusuke's side again. "I think… we remember you, Godai Yuusuke."

Onodera's watching him again, unblinking, but there's something different about his expression. Something beneath the rage, the terror, the mind-numbing exhaustion and despair. Something that looks an awful lot like fragile, breakable hope.

"Show me." Onodera's voice is almost too quiet to hear, the hoarse whisper directed to the ground somewhere near Godai's feet. "Kuuga. The right… the way it's supposed to be. Please."

Dismay rises in Godai, and though he tries to keep it from showing on his face he's not sure he succeeds. "I don't think—"

"Go away." Pained determination fills the words as Onodera turns away. "Go away and leave me alone."

"Please." Just a single word, no other context given, but the smile is gone from Tsukasa's face, leaving only the sorrow and helplessness.

"Yuusuke." He waits until the crouched man turns his way again before smiling. "I'll show you. Watch, all right?"

It's frightening.

Absolutely terrifying, drawing on Kuuga's power when all around him the madness and destructive potential of the Ultimate Darkness flows, but if it's what Onodera needs then he can do it. Carefully, slowly, drawing up the will to fight but pushing away any thoughts of retribution, of vengeance, of violence for the sweet, wonderful feel of violence, and he shudders as Kuuga's armor flows over him.

Red, like he'd intended, but with the gold accents that indicate it's more dangerous.

Onodera unwinds from his protective huddle, leaning forward at the very end of his tether, and there is a hunger in his eyes that has nothing to do with food. "Kuuga…"

"Yes." Holding out the bowl of food, Godai crouches down a step in front of Yuusuke. Close enough for him to take the food; not close enough for him to hurt either of them if he decides to attack again.

Onodera stares at the bowl, then flicks a questioning glance to Tsukasa.

"It could be poisoned, you know." There's a quirk to Tsukasa's smile that says he's only teasing, and he pats Yuusuke encouragingly on the back.

Yuusuke smiles. Just for a moment, a quick show of teeth, but he smiles. "If it is… I'll heal."

They're the best words Godai's heard in over a month.

XXX

He brings oatmeal in another plastic bowl and a large plastic cup of juice when he goes back in to see Onodera at dinner time.

The younger man crouches at the edge of his tether, but though he watches warily he seems more relaxed than before. Even the dark power brushing against Godai, pushing at his control seems to have dimmed, taken down to a dull roar from a harrowing scream.

"You're feeling better, Yuusuke?" He waits only a minute at the door before walking toward his brother.

Onodera cringes away from him, pressing back against the wall, and an ice-cold hand is suddenly pressed against his chest.

"Slowly, Godai-san." Tsukasa's hair is almost tamed, and his DaiShocker uniform has been replaced by black jeans, a soft gray shirt and a brightly colored scarf of some kind. "Assuming you still are Godai-san."

"I am." He watches Yuusuke's eyes, the terror and uncertainty in them, and is glad that the dark power has lessened. Even he only has so much self control. "Yuusuke, there's only Riders here now. Only us. And I swear we won't hurt you. We came here to save you."

After a moment Onodera nods. Moving slowly to the end of his tether, he stares at the bowl and cup as if they're foreign objects. "More food?"

"Yes." Crouching down, he slides the items toward Yuusuke. "Eat slowly, though. Same with the drink. Don't want you getting sick."

Yuusuke nods, though he still descends on the food like a starving man.

(Because he is a starving man, and knowing to look for it makes it painfully obvious.)

Settling down on his heels, Godai watches the younger man in silence, waiting for him to finish before saying anything else.

"Thank you." Onodera's words are still quiet, spoken to a spot on the ground, but his voice sounds less raw.

"You're welcome." Smiling at the younger man, Godai stands up slowly. "Like I said, Yuusuke, I just want to help you. Whatever you want, whatever you need, I can get it for you. Food, clothes, blankets… taking those chains off your hands."

"No." Flinching back against the wall again, Yuusuke scrapes at the skin on the edge of the manacle around his right wrist. "Don't. Don't take them off. Can't."

"I have the key, Yuusuke. I can—"

"No!" He lunges again to the end of his chain, teeth bared in a feral snarl, but it's terror rather than rage that Godai sees in his eyes. "No. Never. No."

"You can't trust him, Godai-san." Tsukasa seems unperturbed, leaning against the wall. "I told you that. He can't trust himself. You can't trust him, either."

"That's not true, Yuusuke." Shaking his head, Godai edges a step closer to the man. "You can control it. You won't hurt m—"

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, and he knows it in the split second before Yuusuke starts screaming again, fighting against the bonds, Kuuga flickering around him in a wild, beautiful vortex of black and gold and awesome, terrible power.

With a long-suffering sigh, Tsukasa stands up, walking to Yuusuke's side and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Yuusuke, that's enough. He understands."

Onodera freezes instantly, eyes tracking up to Tsukasa. The Kuuga armor stops trying to form around him, the deep wounds in his wrists and ankles start to heal, and after a moment the horrible weight of the Ultimate Darkness fades back to what it had been before this started, as well.

"You do understand, right, Godai-san?" Tsukasa's cocky smile is barely even trying to cover the sorrow.

"I know what happened." Hours spent reading about everything that was done, and he forces himself to look at Yuusuke rather than the shade of madness standing at his side. "I also know it wasn't your fault, Yuusuke. You did everything you could. You weren't in control—"

"Couldn't save them. Couldn't save anyone." Pressing his head hard against Tsukasa's knee, Yuusuke trembles, directing his words to the swaths of fresh blood on the floor. "Just kill. Kill everything. Kill everything, and they'll leave me alone."

"Yuusuke…"

"Hush." Tsukasa strokes the kneeling man's hair, expression managing to be both possessive and distant, and DaiShocker's symbol is emblazoned in pink on the black of his leather shirt. "You're mine. They won't use you. I won't let them."

His head's aching, pounding, and his mouth feels too dry. Gasping in a breath, Godai starts backing toward the door. Too long in here already, too tired to fight against this new wave of darkness, and there's nothing he can think to do right now that will actually make things better. "I'll be back tomorrow, Yuusuke. I promise. I'll save you."

Two sets of eyes watch him, one haunted and mad, one helpless and sane, and though he wants to with all his heart and soul he doesn't know how to fix either of them.

XXX

"Do you need to talk?" Hibiki asks the question awkwardly, but that's all right. It would be hard not to be awkward after holding a fellow Rider who was shaking like he was in the middle of an epileptic fit for the last five minutes.

"I don't…" Drawing a deep breath, he runs his hands through his hair and shakes his head. "I'm sorry. I'm all right. I just said some things wrong, and managed to hurt us both."

"You're doing the best you can, Godai." Hibiki pats his shoulder, somehow managing to be gentle and firm at the same time. "Don't push yourself too hard, though. All right?"

"I won't. I promised you, didn't I?" Struggling to his feet, he's surprised to find that he's shaky, his balance uncertain. "I'll make sure that I don't lose myself."

"Good." Hibiki stays by his side as they walk slowly down the corridor, toward the room that they've set up as their kitchen and gathering place. "Can I ask you something? About what's happening inside?"

He hesitates just for a second before nodding. Hibiki won't try to stop him, even knowing the full extent of what's going on.

"Is it really Kadoya Tsukasa's ghost in there with you, or is it… is his madness just that contagious?"

He thinks about the question for only a moment before shrugging. "Does it matter?"

"I suppose not." Hibiki smiles. "Though hopefully it's not too contagious. All of us seeing ghosts would probably be a bad thing."

"No one's going to start seeing ghosts." He returns the smile. "At least, not because of me."

"Very kind of you. Oh, I suppose I should warn you." The smile turns into a full-fledged grin as Hibiki grasps the doorknob. "You've got a visitor."

He barely has time to process the words before Hibiki throws open the door with one hand and propels him inside with the other.

"Ichijou."

The man's sitting at the table with Sakurai Yuuto and Tendou Souji, who seem to be having a difference of opinion about something, at least if the matching looks of annoyance on their faces are anything to go by. Ichijou, for his part, just looks out of place, and the expression on his face as he looks up is one of pure relief. "Godai Yuusuke."

He almost laughs. He almost runs over and hugs the detective, because it's been a hellish day and his head hurts and he's missed the man so damn much during the last two days. But Ichijou's a proud man, a reserved man, and already looks awkward enough around the other Riders, so he settles on a grin and quick embrace of the man's shoulder. "What are you doing here, detective?"

Ichijou glances at Hibiki and then quickly away. "Just seeing how your investigation's going."

Eyeing the Oni, currently busy loading a plate with food, Godai decides that there's just no room or reason to be angry at the intrusion into his world. Ichijou was the contact he'd given to the Riders in case anything happened to him on a different world, and it is a relief to have the man here.

"You should eat, Yuusuke."

He stiffens at the use of his given name, though he shouldn't. Too many shades of Onodera there right now.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to nag, Godai." Ichijou blushes, just faintly. He's always so uncertain about which name to use, often settling on just using both, and it's really, incredibly endearing.

"I'll grab something and we can go talk somewhere else. You can tell me how things have been at home for the last week." He starts piling food onto a plate, then looks back up at his friend. "Home is still fine, right? No Grongi?"

"Everything's fine." Ichijou smiles, the small, faint expression that he doesn't use nearly often enough. "At least as fine as it ever is, people being people. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Nodding, Godai grabs his food and shepherds Ichijou through the door and down the hall. The base is huge, so it's not hard to find an unoccupied room. A barren room, stripped of everything that would have shown its original purpose, and for that he's grateful. The dim lighting is enough of a reminder of what this place used to be.

"Hibiki told me that you found him." Ichijou says it simply, settling down cross-legged on the floor, trench coat flared out around him.

Sitting down opposite him, Godai nods and chews. He hadn't realized exactly how hungry he was until he had food in front of him.

"And that he's in bad shape."

He simply nods again, eyes fixed on his food. If he doesn't look at Ichijou, maybe the man will let things go, and he won't have to try to find words to describe what's going on.

"Sakurako sends her regards. And insists that she's going to tie you down and force you to bring her on one of these trips soon. She's certain the university would fund a trip to another world, and that there would be grad students ready to fight to the death for the opportunity to come along."

"I know." Smiling, he looks up at the detective. "Any anthropologist on the planet would be ecstatic about exploring alternate worlds, I think. Unfortunately, all these alternate worlds are already occupied and might not be thrilled by the prospect. Plus, most of the people in all the worlds don't know that there are multiple worlds or that we can travel between them. Just Riders, and not all of them are thrilled about inviting visitors to their world."

"You're going to tell me before inviting anyone to our world, right, Godai?"

Grinning, he shrugs. "Maybe."

"Godai, I need to know if you're doing anything—" Ichijou pauses, taking in his grin and the suppressed laughter. "You know that you're incorrigible, right?"

"I'll tell you. If—probably when, truth be told, but we've still got a lot of things to work out—we have visitors other than Riders, you and Sakurako will be the first to know."

"Good." Ichijou studies his fingers, ticking off points as he goes. "Minori also says hello. She misses you. Nana has a part in a play that starts next month and runs for six weeks, and was hoping that you might have a chance to see her at least once. Sugita and the rest miss you, and were hoping that you'd drop in to see them next time you're back in the country. Tsubaki says that you're overdue for another physical, and Enokida would be absolutely ecstatic if you brought her a souvenir from one of these little jaunts."

Home. His friends, brought together by the hell of the Grongi war, held together by shared ideals and experiences. It hurts, somehow, hearing about them in this place, but it's a good kind of pain. A healing kind of pain, a reminder of what's waiting for him when this is all done.

"You're smiling." Ichijou smiles, too, as he says it. "Really smiling. It's good to see."

"Things have been… things have been bad here, Ichijou." Setting his empty plate aside, he lies down, looking at the grey, scored rock of the ceiling. "We took too long to find him—find them. He's lost… he's—"

Ichijou's hand finds his, squeezes tight.

"They killed his friends. The people he lived with, traveled with. Kadoya Tsukasa and Hikari Natsumi. Even Natsumi's grandfather. They used him to kill… they broke him, Ichijou. Took everything he loved, broke him, and I don't know how to fix it."

"You're here. You're trying to help him." Ichijou's fingers clench hard around his. "If anyone can find a way, you can."

"And if I can't… what?" His voice is thick with emotion. "They'll have to kill him. Some of them would like to do that already. Tendou would. He's ruthless about threats. Not unreasonable, just… ruthless."

Ichijou's face hardens, and Godai sits up, shaking his head. "Don't hate him for that. That's not what I wanted to say, and I don't blame him. He's had a hard life—most of them have had a hard life, but they're good people."

"And that's why you're going to save him, Yuusuke." Ichijou pauses, obviously thinking about and picking his words carefully. "You're defending people who are trying to kill a version of you. You're compassionate. It's at the core of your character. He'll have the same compassion. It's what they used against him, but it's also what can let you heal. Let you face the darkest parts of the universe, of humanity, and say no. Say not now. Lets you cry, as you do what's necessary, even if it means sacrificing your own heart and soul and body."

Fighting Daguva, and he can see the old haunting hurt in Ichijou's eyes, something he's never been able to heal for the detective. Never mind that he lived, never mind that Ichijou helped keep him human and reminded him that he had a home, that day in the snow will forever be etched into both their souls.

He hugs the other man, fiercely, determinedly. Ichijou hugs him back, silent and strong, and it's only a few seconds before Godai starts crying.

He talks, while he cries, spitting out the worst of it, the things they did to him, the things they made him do, and Ichijou accepts the information quietly. His hands shake, just a bit, and there's a pained, angry light in his eyes, but he doesn't interrupt. Doesn't say anything, until Godai's done, until he's stopped crying.

"He gave into it, didn't he?" Calm, accepting, understanding like nobody from any other world can. Ichijou saw the power that Kuuga could have, the darkness that it could become.

"Yes." He whispers the word, pulling away from the detective and rubbing his face dry on his shirt sleeve. "In part. I think… he thought if he let it free, if he started killing indiscriminately… they couldn't use him against anyone else he loved."

"Can you bring him back from that, Godai Yuusuke?"

"I have to try." He shivers as he says it. "They were going to come after the rest of the Riders. After me. It could be me in there, Ichijou. Clinging to my humanity by a thread, certain I shouldn't have it."

Ichijou's expression twists, just slightly, terror and dismay and an anger that Godai hasn't seen recently showing for a moment before being recognized and pushed away. "Can I help?"

"No." Shaking his head, he squeezes Ichijou's hand and shivers, a convulsive shudder of horror at the thought of the detective going in there with Onodera Yuusuke. "He'd probably… he could kill you. And he'd hate himself for that, and I might hate him for that."

After a second Ichijou nods. "Is there anyone else? Someone from his world?"

"No." Shaking his head, Godai sighs. "Your sister—ah, you haven't been here for these discussions before. Alternate, or duplicate, or double, whatever you want to call it. The you from his world, the one he cared about, died. During the Grongi war. He didn't have any ties left in his world. It's why he was traveling with Decade and Kivaala."

Ichijou nods.

"They killed them, Ichijou." The bitterness in his voice is obvious, even to Godai. "They killed all the people who could have helped me save him."

"What about the other one who traveled with them?" Ichijou moves back a meter, settles down with a thoughtful expression. "I thought there were four of them?"

"Diend. Kaitou Daiki." Running his hands through his hair, Godai shakes his head. "No. He has… he's got issues of his own. He hasn't been seen since… he can't help with this, I don't think. He would have already, if he thought he could."

"So it's down to you." Ichijou sighs. "At least, in there. But don't forget the rest of us out here, all right?"

He smiles, reaching across the small space separating them to grasp Ichijou's shoulder. "How could I forget?"

XXX

It's Hikari Natsumi who greets him when he goes into Onodera's prison the next morning. She studies him head to foot, standing between him and Onodera.

He walks up to her, holding out the plate of food and the blanket that he brought for her to inspect.

She ignores them, staring into his eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

"He needs help." It's an easy answer, and it's true.

"Just coming in here hurts you." She stalks around him, arms crossed over her chest, somehow managing to look dangerous as well as defensive. "Nobody normal would keep doing that."

"He's my brother. He needs help." He walks forward while she's behind him, stopping just at the edge of Yuusuke's lunging range.

The young man studies him, unblinking. He's sitting against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest, but the position could just be due to the chains hampering his movements.

"You don't understand." Yuusuke speaks the words quietly, and his eyes keep darting to the food despite obvious efforts not to look at it. "You can't save me, Godai. You can't ever take me out of here. It's too dangerous."

"No." Shaking his head, he slides the food toward the younger man. "It's too dangerous right now. But you'll relearn what you need to know. You'll be able to—"

"I can't." An emphatic statement of fact, and Godai recognizes the expression on the younger man's face. Acceptance, terrible but necessary, of what has to happen. "I've tried. Ever since it chose me, I've tried. But I just keep losing. It's better for the world if I just stay here, and everyone forgets about me."

"No." He speaks more forcefully than he intended to, but he hates seeing that look in combination with those statements. It's the look he wore to face Daguva, the look he used to protect himself as he said goodbye to everyone he loved. This boy, no matter what he's gone through, has no right to use it while giving up. "If you fail, you get up and keep trying. Always. Over and over. That's what a hero does. That's what a Rider does. That's what I've done, what Ryou's done, what Yuuto's done, what—"

Cold. Cold, and it hurts, digging into his body, into his soul, and he doubles over, whimpering as the ice envelops Kuuga, spreads through him, numbs his thoughts.

It withdraws as quickly as it came, and he looks up to see Kadoya Tsukasa standing over him, shaking his right hand once as if in disgust, flinging away invisible blood. The man's in his black jeans again, though his hair looks more like his DaiShocker version. "He is trying, Godai Yuusuke. And until someone binds your mind and uses your body to kill your detective, don't you dare compare your stories."

"I'm sorry, Yuusuke." He stands slowly, gingerly, and eventually gets his eyes to focus on Onodera. The man's huddled back against the wall, face buried against his knees, and Natsumi strokes his hair tenderly.

"Not your fault." Onodera shudders, though he doesn't raise his head. "Doing your best. Maybe right, too. Just not… very good hero."

"That's not true, either." Shaking his head, he edges closer to Onodera. Slowly, trying not to startle him, but he wants to, needs to touch the younger man. To give him real human contact, since he so obviously wants it. "You've saved plenty of people. Helped Tsukasa save plenty of people. You're a hero, Yuusuke. You're just hurt right now, and scared and grieving, but that's all right."

"Not all right." He raises his head slowly so he can shake it, confirming the negative. "Never going to be all right. I killed him. Killed lots, but he… should have been able to… couldn't…"

He's hyperventilating, gasping, panting breaths as his eyes focus on something in the past. Natsumi pulls him against her, tells him that it's all right; Tsukasa's hand grips Yuusuke's opposite shoulder tightly, though he doesn't say anything. Just fixes Godai with a grim stare, and the helplessness in his eyes is overwhelming.

"Yuusuke." Godai reaches out to the younger Rider, gritting his teeth against the cold as his hand brushes against, through the shades that hold him. "Yuusuke, come here. Come here and cry. I promise it'll be all right."

"No." Onodera cringes back from the contact, eyes wide and frightened, but the power crackling through the room lessens. "Don't. Hurt you. Don't want to hurt you. Don't."

"You won't, Yuusuke." Wrapping his arms around the smaller man, Godai pulls him forward, away from the wall and tight against him. "I promise, you won't."

"It's my fault, you know." Kadoya Tsukasa says the words easily, as though they don't matter, but Natsumi's eyes are bright with tears as she hugs him. "I knew they had one of those moonstones. I knew he wasn't in control. But I didn't want to die. So I tried to reach him. And when I couldn't do that… he could still be my vengeance."

Yuusuke howls, an inhuman sound of despair and pain, and Godai tightens his hands around the younger man. "It's over, Yuusuke. I swear, it's over."

"You're Kuuga, Yuusuke. Don't have to… can fight them… don't hurt me… Yuusuke, please… help me… help me…" Yuusuke's voice trails off, though he continues to shiver convulsively.

Blood drips slowly down Tsukasa's face from a gash on his forehead. A sickening, twisting pop, and his shoulder's no longer properly aligned. A—

"Yuusuke, stop it." Closing his eyes, Godai continues to hug the shivering man. "Don't put yourself through this."

But Yuusuke can't stop it, any more than he could the first time, so Godai holds the man as he sobs. Accepts the story that Yuusuke shows him, the horror that he's been holding alone for weeks, and though he can't bring himself to look the sounds are more than enough to paint a complete picture.

Eventually the room is quiet again, only Onodera's shivering sobs breaking the silence. Godai lets himself relax, just slightly, loosening his hold on the younger man. After a few deep breaths, he opens his eyes.

Kadoya Tsukasa's eyes stare into his. He's crouched down beside Onodera but not quite touching him. "I didn't want to hurt you, Yuusuke. I never wanted it to end up like this."

"Yuusuke." Godai shifts the man in his arms, trying to get his head up so that he can focus on Tsukasa. "Yuusuke, listen to him. It wasn't your fault. It's all right to survive. It's all right to heal."

"Tsukasa…" Onodera reaches toward the man.

The other Rider starts to pull away, and Godai reaches out to grab his arm. It's cold, and it hurts, but he can hold the man in place.

"Don't. Not yet. I can't handle him on my own, yet."

Yuusuke keens low in his throat, a sound of utter despair and grief, and his shivering increases.

"Hush, Yuusuke. Hush." Natsumi strokes his hair, and his hands grasp onto her arm, pull her in close to them.

After a moment Tsukasa joins the huddle, allowing one hand to settle on Yuusuke's knee while he leans against the wall. "We're not going to do anything you don't want us to do, Yuusuke. We're whatever you need us to be. So stop crying, all right?"

It takes another ten minutes, until the very marrow of Godai's bones feel frozen solid, but eventually Onodera stops crying, and some time after that he sleeps.

XXX

It's hard to raise his hand to knock on the door.

He's left Yuusuke sleeping against his wall, wrapped in the blanket and flanked by people who aren't really there. It's time for him to leave.

But he can't seem to raise his hand to knock on the door.

Before he can really worry about it too much, the door opens of its own volition. He smiles at that, a smile that turns to a slightly puzzled frown when a hand slips around the corner, grabs his arm, and pulls him through.

It's warm out in the hall. Warm and quiet, and he finds that it's too much work to stand up, so he sits down where he is.

"Godai!"

Something warm slides around his shoulders, and he snuggles into it, sighing in relief.

"Godai Yuusuke."

Ichijou's the only one who uses his full name with that inflection, and he forces his head up from his chest, blinks at the blurred image of a man kneeling in front of him and rubbing his hands.

"Godai Yuusuke, if you don't start talking to me in the next two minutes I am going to drag you back to Tsubaki whether you like it or not."

"I can talk." Frowning, he pulls Ichijou's trench coat tighter around him. "I'm all right."

"So you normally stand and stare at the door like that." Ichijou chafes his hands again. "You usually end up hypothermic and half-catatonic."

"No, but being hugged by the ghosts hurts."

The dismay on Ichijou's face only grows.

Shaking his head, Godai tries to bring his scattered thoughts back into a semblance of order. "I'm sorry. Being in there is always draining, but I've never had this much trouble afterward. I think I did a lot of good today, though. I think I made a lot of progress with him."

"I think you're trying to distract me from the fact that you just said you got hypothermia from ghosts." Grabbing his shoulder, Ichijou hauls him to his feet. "Which I will allow for the moment, because I want to get you a hot shower and food before interrogating you, but the interrogation will come."

He's too weary to argue, and arguing with Ichijou when he's in this kind of mood doesn't tend to help much. Besides, a hot shower and food sounds incredibly appealing. Especially since he smells like blood and old sweat and other unpleasant things from holding Onodera. So he lets Ichijou lead him around, giving directions when he needs to.

By the time they're done eating lunch he feels half-human again, though exhaustion still lurks in the back of his mind.

"Feeling better?"

Smiling, he nods at Ichijou. "Yes. Thanks."

"Great." Ichijou leans against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. "So. Explain."

"Not much to explain." Godai shrugs. "Things don't work the same in there. Don't ask me why. Yuusuke's subconsciously trying to burn everything that walks through the door, though I think that's getting better now, slowly but surely. Case in point the fact that you didn't burst into flame when you got me out, and though I do appreciate it I wish you hadn't taken the risk. The ghosts are cold."

"I'm still hearing the word ghosts in your explanation."

"I don't know what else to call them." He studies the ground at his feet. "Shades. Ghosts. Shared hallucination. Does it matter what I call them? They exist for us in there. I think they're the reason he's held on to as much sanity as he has."

"They nearly froze you to death."

"No." He looks up at Ichijou, surprised at the vehemence in the man's voice. "It would take a lot more than that to kill me, Ichijou-san. And it wasn't intentional. I don't think so, at least. Maybe it's because he wouldn't hurt them, even as unstable as he is now. Everything else is ready to burst into flame, but they…"

The look of terrified frustration that flashes across Ichijou's face tells him that he missed the point by a great distance.

"I'm sorry. But I really was all right. And I really do think that Yuusuke was doing better by the end of this morning, and will hopefully be even better this afternoon."

Ichijou studies him for nearly a minute before sighing. "You're sure you know what you're doing, Godai Yuusuke?"

"No." Godai smiles at his friend. "But that's not going to stop me from trying with everything I have."

XXX

He brings Onodera his supper a bit later than usual, hoping that the younger man will take the time to sleep, to rest, though a part of him that's starting to learn cynicism worries that any sleep will just bring nightmares.

Onodera's huddled against the wall still, the blanket wrapped around him. His hair's long, hanging in lank strands around his wary, staring eyes. Too dark to see the dried blood in it, and Godai frowns. He needs to get Yuusuke cleaned up soon.

"You brought dinner, Godai-san?" Onodera doesn't move, staying against the wall.

"I did." He walks toward his brother slowly, bending down and showing the bowl and glass to the man. "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept." He doesn't move, either to come forward and take the food or to skitter further away. But he does let the blanket fall a little bit, his head comes up, and Godai catches the ghost of a smile on his brother's face. "That's something I haven't done… in a long time. Not really."

"Well, you can do it as much as you want now." Smiling, he settles down on the cold stone in front of Yuusuke, trying to ignore the fact that the floor beneath him is tacky with old blood. "Come on. Eat."

"I can't, Godai-san." Shaking his head, Yuusuke reaches out with one manacled hand and shoves the food away. "I appreciate it. It means more than you can imagine, the fact that you and the others came for me. But it doesn't change what I've done, and it doesn't change what I've become. I can't control it, Godai. The slightest lapse—anger, fear, frustration—and I'm lost. I don't—"

"Onodera Yuusuke." He grips the younger man's shoulder, moving slowly but firmly. "You're not lost. You're having trouble with Kuuga, yes. But we'll deal with it. I'll help you deal with it. So don't try to get me to abandon you. All right?"

"Godai…"

Tsukasa grabs Yuusuke's hand, dragging his fingers into the rice. "Yuusuke, just eat. The man's not going to listen to you, all right?"

"That doesn't mean—"

"He's just as stubborn as you are, Yuusuke." Natsumi picks up one of the cookies, examining it closely before nibbling on a corner. "And these are good. So stop arguing and start eating. It'll be more fun for everyone, all right?"

Onodera pulls his hand away and hesitates. "Are you guys sure —"

"Yuusuke." Taking the cookie from Natsumi's hand, Tsukasa shoves it into Yuusuke's. "It's fine. So eat."

He does, after that. He eats the cookies first, slowly, savoring every bite as though it were a new sensation. Then he descends on the food and the juice, devouring the rest of the meal in a minute or two.

When he's done he leans back against the wall, drawing the blanket up around him with a ragged sigh. "Thank you. That was good."

"You're welcome." Moving slowly still, trying not to startle Onodera, Godai crawls the two steps forward to lean against the wall next to his brother. Reaching out with his left arm, he puts it slowly around the younger man's shoulders and draws him in close. "You're very welcome, Yuusuke."

For a long minute Yuusuke sits stiff beside him, tense, uncertain. Then he relaxes, his head coming to lie against Godai's chest.

They need to talk about things. About Yuusuke getting back his control. About Yuusuke getting the manacles off. About Yuusuke getting a bath, because he smells like something half-dead and looks worse. About what they're going to do now, and what Yuusuke wants to do in the future.

But it's relaxing just sitting here, and Yuusuke's had a relatively good night, and it's somehow comforting to have his brother's weight pressed against his side. To hear his brother breathing, slow and steady, rather than hear his brother's screams in his ears, feel his terrible broken grief and anger and sorrow and fear beating against his heart.

Sometimes silence is the better option, so he stays silent.

It's only when he comes to the end of Hibiki's little sing-song that he realizes he's humming.

"Mmmm." Yuusuke's fingers curl into his side, the fabric of the blanket keeping him from actually touching him. "That's pretty."

"It is, isn't it? Pretty, or happy, or sharp as a steel edge depending on who and when and why it's sung." Smiling again, Godai strokes his brother's hair. "I'm glad you like it."

"Sing it again." Yuusuke whispers the words, but his fingers curl again against Godai's side. The closest contact he'll allow himself, probably, and Godai tightens his arm around the other man. He's never been afraid of human contact, and he'll be damned before he let's Yuusuke be scarred in that way.

He hums Hibiki's song again, followed by a half-dozen others. Yuusuke doesn't move at all, doesn't interrupt. Just stays against Godai's side, quiet and limp, until the last note of the last song dies away utterly.

"Should Tsukasa hate me?"

His tone is tranquil as he says it. Too tranquil, and Godai can feel the tension that enters the man's body as he contemplates the question.

He doesn't snap back an answer, because that's not what Onodera wants and because it gives him time to think of the right argument. "Tsuaksa told you he forgives you. That it wasn't your fault."

"But I couldn't save him." Yuusuke's head stays down, his eyes closed. "Even when he asked me to. All I could do was kill him."

"Tsukasa shouldn't hate you, Yuusuke."

"Tsukasa doesn't hate you." Settling down on the other side of Yuusuke, Tsukasa grabs hold of his hand. "Though he'll get annoyed if you keep talking like that."

"Then I won't." Yuusuke smiles, lifting his head to look over at the shade.

"Good." Natsumi sits down by Tsukasa, taking Tsukasa's other hand. Both of them being careful to stay on the other side of Yuusuke, to not touch Godai, and he's grateful for the consideration. "So why don't we listen to some more songs. All right?"

Godai sings softly until he can't remember any more songs, and then he makes things up. It's easy, especially with the little sing-songs he's learned from Hibiki.

He doesn't leave until the shades are gone and Yuusuke's snoring softly, curled into a huddle against the wall.

XXX

"That went well." It's Hibiki's voice that greets him when he steps out into the hallway.

He tries and mostly succeeds in not being disappointed that it isn't Ichijou. The detective has better things to do than see to him every night, and he's fond of the Oni. "It did. Really well, all things considered."

"Your friend said that he needed to take care of some things back in your world, but that he'd be back to see you tomorrow." Hibiki smiles as he stands and stretches theatrically. "I'm pretty sure it wasn't that he was trying to get away from your singing, but I can't guarantee that."

"I sing just fine, thank you." He smiles as he says it, though he can feel heat rise to his face. He hadn't thought he had more of an audience than Onodera, though the fact that they wait out here for him doesn't really surprise him. He'd be waiting here, if it was Ichijou or another Rider trying to do something like what he's doing.

"Definitely not bad in your own range, actually. And smart enough to know what your range is." Humming nine notes in rapid succession, the Oni smiles again. "Enough to work with, definitely. Though your detective can really sing."

"Ichijou can sing?" The thought had never occurred to him before, but he likes it.

Hibiki nods. "Pretty well, actually, though I don't think he likes people to know."

"How—"

"He was singing along with you until I came to relieve him. I don't think I've ever seen someone look so embarrassed at being told they do something well." Shaking his head, the Oni sighs.

Ichijou can sing. His work-obsessed, quiet friend can sing, and was singing along with him. The thought makes Godai grin. "Well, we'll just have to drag him to karaoke with us sometime."

"A Rider karaoke night. I like the sound of that." Returning his grin, Hibiki gives him an appraising look. "I think this is the best I've seen you come out of there, you know. I take it things are going our way?"

The smile fades from Godai's face as he considers the question. Sees his brother huddled against the wall; feels the blood beneath his feet and his hands; hears his brother's quiet questions, things no one should ever have to ask.

Sees his brother eating, acting nearly sane. Sees his brother sitting quiet, content against the wall, the fears and pain smoothed away by sleep.

Sees the fondness in Tsukasa's eyes, the gentleness of Natsumi's touch, and the way that Yuusuke responds to them.

"It was a good night." He smiles for the Oni as he says it, and there's a peace in his voice and in his soul that's been hard to hold on to for the last few days. "And I think we're going to have a lot more of them, now."

XXX

The next morning he brings a bucket of water and a set of clean clothes when he goes to see his brother.

Yuusuke takes one look at the clothes and shakes his head. "No."

"No?" Godai hesitates and then stands where he is, just outside Onodera's lunging range. "Yuusuke, please. You need a bath."

"I know." He looks down as he says it, shame stiffening his shoulders. "But I can't… you can't take the manacles off."

He hadn't thought about the fact that he'd need to take the manacles off to have Yuusuke change his clothes. Not that it worries him that much, but it obviously worries his brother, and he doesn't want to scare him again. After a few second's worth of thought he shrugs. "We'll deal with the restraints when the time comes. First, let's get all the blood out of your hair. All right?"

After a long moment Yuusuke nods, shrugging off the blanket and crawling to the edge of the space that his tether denotes as his.

Godai realizes after only about thirty seconds that he's going to need more water. A lot more water. Preferably a hose. And more towels. And a mop, since the water makes the dried blood on the floor no longer so dry.

Onodera shakes his head, spraying both of them with red-tinged water. Pushing his hair out of his eyes, the younger man looks up at Godai hesitantly.

After a long second Onodera's mouth twitches upward into a grin, which eventually becomes a full-fledged laugh.

The laughter's infectious, and Godai finds himself joining in. Grabbing a handful of water, he flings it at the other man.

There's no more water in the bucket and they're both covered in red streaks by the time they settle down, but Yuusuke's still smiling.

"Hold that thought." Shoving his hands through his own dripping hair, Godai grins back at his younger brother. "I'll be back in a second, and we'll try this again."

He brings two buckets of water, a backpack full of rags, a mop and the key to the manacles with him the second time.

Yuusuke flinches back when he sees the key, expression going grim instantly.

"All right." Godai tosses the key into the air and catches it. "Don't panic. I can understand why you're worried, so we're going to do this smart. One manacle at a time, all right? Then we can get you cleaned up and into new clothes, and you don't have to worry about getting loose. Sound good?"

Yuusuke nods, slowly.

It takes a good ten minutes before his smile comes back, but it does come back. And he doesn't panic at all as they finish cleaning him up and get him into clean clothes.

"Much better." Natsumi smiles at them when they're done, holding her hand out in a thumb's up. "I approve, Yuusuke."

Tsukasa surveys the scene through the viewfinder on his small pink camera. "I suppose you're about as photogenic now as you've ever been."

"And what's that supposed to mean, Tsukasa?" Mopping the last of the bloody water away from his section of the room, Yuusuke flings the rag at the shade.

"Be nice, Tsukasa." Picking up the rag, Natsumi brings it over to Godai. "Or you know what's going to happen."

Tsukasa gives her a long-suffering look, but there's humor and hope in his eyes as he snaps the shutter closed on his camera.

"Thank you, Godai-san." Ondera's smaller than he is, and Godai's old clothes look too big on him. "For all of this… thank you."

"Don't mention it." Gathering up the used supplies, he smiles at his younger brother. "I'll see you for dinner tonight?"

"Mmm." Yuusuke nods, stretching his arms up above his head. He's still smiling, and Godai can't help but grin in return. "I'm really looking forward to it."

XXX

Dinner goes well, but the morning after that is bad. Yuusuke stays huddled against the wall and the ghosts keep Godai away. Nightmares, Tsukasa whispers to him tersely, but they won't give any other explanation for the pain and terror and fear that bind Yuusuke tight. Kuuga's power pounds against Godai, and within a half hour he retreats from the room.

The next morning Onodera apologizes, though, sitting calm and almost-sane at the end of his tether. The ghosts still stalk around the room, but there's a lighter air to them, less of a coldness to their presence as the rest of the room cools down.

It's a week later that Yuusuke finally starts asking him about things on the other side of the door.

"Kaitou." He says the name after he's finished eating, studying his hands as he does, and his expression is even more vulnerable than usual. "Has anyone seen Kaitou since… since this?"

"Yes." Godai hesitates before speaking. He's never quite sure what will set Yuusuke off, make a good day into a bad one, but this is something he deserves to know. "It was Kaitou Daiki that told me you were in trouble. That was a little over five weeks ago now. He didn't stay after he told me what he knew."

"He… asked you to come for me?"

"He told me that you, Tsukasa and Natsumi had been captured. That he was pretty sure Natsumi was dead, that Tsukasa might be, and that he thought they had done something to you. He didn't actually ask me to do anything, though."

"No." Yuusuke smiles, picking at his fingernails. They've started to grow out, since he stopped scrabbling at the floor, and there's no blood under them anymore. "Kaitou doesn't actually ask for help. Not ever."

"He was injured. Not badly." Godai reassures the other Rider before the terror can actually take hold in his eyes. "But his right arm was bandaged, and he had a few cuts and bruises on his face. I think he tried to come after you guys himself and couldn't quite manage it."

Yuusuke nods, expression thoughtful. After a few minutes of quiet contemplation he raises his head and left wrist. "Godai… if I asked you to take off one of these…"

He smiles at the younger man before drawing him into a fierce embrace. "I was beginning to think you'd never ask."

XXX

"You want to bring him home with us."

Ichijou's tone is flat, devoid of emotion, and Godai wishes the man would turn around so he could read his face.

"I think he's ready. I can't just leave him in there forever. It's been over a month." A month of painstaking work, of headaches and fear and flirting with madness, but it's been worth it. Yuusuke's had control of his power for the last week, and his panic attacks no longer result in him attempting to kill everything within a hundred meters of him.

"You think it's safe?" Ichijou finally turns to look at him.

"I think it is. As safe as it's ever going to be. As safe as anyone with an amadam and human emotions running around ever is."

"Then I'm going to go see him."

He takes a deep breath before responding, so he doesn't quite snap out the reply. "No, you're not."

"Yes, I am." Ichijou walks over to him, stares into his eyes. "If you think it's safe to bring him to our world, then it's safe for me to go in there with him and talk to him."

"I don't—" He's certain it's safe. He's certain Onodera wouldn't willingly hurt anyone, possibly not anything, not in the foreseeable future.

But the thought of risking Ichijou still makes his blood run cold. Ichijou's his, the rock he's been holding to ever since he claimed Kuuga as his own. It's been Ichijou who's there to greet him most nights when he's done with Onodera, Ichijou who made it possible for him to weather this newest storm.

"You're not going to be taking care of him alone, Godai Yuusuke." Ichijou reaches out and grips his shoulder. "You'll want to travel—"

"He'll want to, as well." A man who had spent over a year racing between worlds wasn't the kind to settle down.

"Right now?" Ichijou doesn't wait for a response, shaking his head. "Eventually, yes, I think he'll want to go with you. But I've seen more of you this last month than any other month since the Grongi war. And before you start protesting, I'm not angry about it. It's who you are and what you need, after… well, after everything. But I really doubt it's what he needs right now. Besides, you'll be called away for other missions—other people who need help. He won't be ready for that, not for a good while. So you'll leave him with me, and I'll take care of him."

"You're human." He whispers the words, letting his eyes drift closed as he does. He doesn't want to see Ichijou's response to that.

There's a long, tense moment of silence, and he can feel Ichijou's anger flare and fade away again.

"That didn't stop me when we were fighting Grongi." Giving his shoulder a squeeze, Ichijou turns to go. "He's got your soul, Godai, at least if everything I've heard from the other Riders is true. And you would never hurt me. Trust that he won't, either."

XXX

The man's younger than Godai was when they first met, somewhere in his early twenties. But his smile looks a lot like Godai's, for the brief moment Ichijou gets to see it before uncertain fear takes its place and he backs up against the wall.

For a long moment Ichijou hesitates, hand on the door, before letting it go to drift shut behind him. If Godai thinks his brother's ready, then he'll trust him. "Hello. My name's Ichijou Kaoru. I'm a friend of Godai Yuusuke's."

(A wave of cold, a frigid breeze blowing through his jacket, though there are no breezes in this room.)

The young man's eyes watch something just in front of him, then to the left of him, and a brief smile plays across his mouth.

(He has kind eyes, whispered in a woman's voice just on the edge of his hearing. Give him a chance, Yuusuke.)

"Onodera-san?" His voice is more hesitant than he intended or wants it to be, but his hair is trying to stand on end and for some reason he feels like shivering.

"I'm sorry. My name's Onodera Yuusuke." The young man sketches a quick bow, though now that he's finally got his attention Ichijou finds it a bit disconcerting. Godai never watches someone like that, as if he needs to know every move they're going to make. "Where's Godai-san?"

"He's here." Right outside the door, ready to jump in at a moment's notice, but Ichijou intends to make sure that's not necessary. "But I told him that I wanted to talk to you, get a sense for how you're doing."

(A few words that he can almost-not-quite hear in a man's voice, a sarcastic thanks and insanity and much better, followed by a woman's chiding and a peel of half-hysterical laughter.)

Onodera smiles at a point just to the left of Ichijou again and finally moves away from the wall, standing at the edge of his tether. Then he turns his attention back to Ichijou. "I'm all right. I… think I won't hurt anyone, if that's what he's testing. I think I've got enough control back for that, at least."

"That's good." Ichijou walks further into the room, slowly, giving the young man a chance to react if he needs to and himself a chance to move away before things get too bad.

It's obvious that not panicking takes some self control, with the young man shuffling uneasily to one side for a moment, but he stays where he is until Ichijou's right in front of him. Offering a smile to this younger brother of Godai's, Ichijou backs up several steps, and relief flashes across Onodera's face. Like with a scared animal, rewarding good behavior by taking away the scary thing, and the thought makes all hint of a smile fade from Ichijou's face.

"You've been through a lot, Onodera Yuusuke." More than anyone should ever have to be, just like Godai, and he hates the fact that the universe is so unfair for one short moment before continuing. That isn't what these heroes need from him. "I was wondering what you wanted to do now."

"I want…" The young man swallows, and there's fear in his eyes, in his stance. Fear of anything in the future, anything outside of this room.

"Don't be an idiot, Yuusuke."

He can hear the words, though there's no one there to say them, and Onodera's head jerks as though someone slapped him from behind. He shuffles forward a half step, the chain that still binds him to the wall clanking.

"It's all right to dream, Yuusuke." A woman's voice, and Onodera is watching someone who isn't there but is standing just beside him. "It's all right to hope."

"I want to find Kaitou." The words stumble off the young man's tongue, half-distorted by speed and uncertainty. Reaching out to either side, he grasps invisible hands before raising his head. His words become clearer, and there's a fiery determination in his eyes. "I want to tell him I'm all right. Tell him that he succeeded."

Ichijou nods, trying not to shiver or stare at the empty air next to the man. "So you want to leave here."

"No." Onodera smiles, and there's so much wrapped up in that expression that it hurts. "If I leave, then I'm responsible again. I might fail again, and people might end up… but they wouldn't want things to end like this. Yashiro, Natsumi, Tsukasa, everyone else who died… they'd want me to try. To make up for what happened. To save enough people to make it all right.

"So yes." He says the word clearly, holding his head high and trying to mask his terror. "Yes. I want out of here."

For nearly a minute Ichijou just stares at the man, seeing Godai in his eyes, in his determination. Seeing Godai as he's never been, broken and hurt and guilty but still reaching out to the rest of humanity.

He almost argues with him. Tell him that it's not necessary for him to fight again, ever, that there's nothing he owes anyone in all the worlds, but he doesn't have the heart to take away any goal from this man. The guilt is something they can work on, once they have him out of this damn room and interacting with the living more than the dead.

"I'm glad you want out. Because Godai wants me to take you home." He finally finds the words he needs, and a smile for the man. "Our world's not perfect, Yuusuke. And I won't be with you all the time. But I'm willing to give you somewhere to stay, somewhere to rest and heal, and Godai will be there for you if you need him."

Onodera nods, considering the offer carefully. "Why?"

It's not something Godai would ever ask. Probably not something this man would have asked, once, if the surprise on his face is anything to go by. Godai expects people to be kind, be helpful, and is in turn as helpful as he can be to others. The fact that they've stolen that ability from this man hurts, and Ichijou finds himself fighting a sudden, irrational urge to protect him.

"I'm a detective. You're a victim of a crime, Yuusuke. One of the most terrible crimes possible. I can't do anything to the people who hurt you…" Because Godai and the rest of the Riders already dealt with them, and because he knows better than to think that he could actually torture someone. Dream about it, because what cop doesn't when they see the horrible things people can do to each other, but his compassion and humanity are too deeply ingrained for him to actually act on any of the impulses. "But I can help you. So I will."

The young man nods slowly, head tilted to the side. "You're Godai-san's friend?"

"Yes." That doesn't seem to satisfy Onodera, who continues to stare at him disconcertingly. "I've been his friend ever since he became Kuuga. Well… there were a few rocky days in the beginning, but pretty much since he became Kuuga."

"You know a doctor named Shuichi and a scientist named Hikari." Onodera trembles, just faintly.

"Yes. I do. How do you—"

"Yashiro. You're his version of Yashiro!" He grins and hugs the empty air next to him, first on one side and then the other.

(Not yours, Yuusuke.)

(He's a guy, Yuusuke.)

"I know." Onodera continues to grin, though. "But he's still Yashiro. And he and Godai-san think it's all right if I go with them."

He's completely insane.

He talks with people who aren't there. His hallucinations are contagious. He has the power to destroy the world.

But Ichijou knows, staring into those eyes that have abruptly become completely trusting, that there's no possible way he could leave the boy here.

"Wait here, Onodera-san." It's a silly thing to say to someone who's chained to the wall, which he thinks he hears one of the ghosts whispering, and Ichijou frowns in annoyance before shaking his head. Hopefully the ghosts will go away once they've freed him. "Godai will be in soon with the key."

XXX

He can't stop grinning.

Godai trusted him with his version of Yashiro. And she—he—thinks it's all right if he goes with them.

"Of course he does. You haven't done anything wrong, Yuusuke." Tsukasa pokes him in the chest. "And you won'tdo anything wrong."

He could argue with the first part, but he won't. Tsukasa's forgiven him, somehow, so it's all right. And he won't do anything to hurt Godai or Ya—Ichijou or their world. He'd sooner rip the amadam out of his body than hurt them.

"No dark thoughts, Yuusuke." Natsumi kisses him on the forehead, a gentle caress of cool lips. "You've found a home, and everything's going to be all right."

"It is." Godai's grinning, too, as he steps through the door. He doesn't close it behind him, for once, and Yuusuke can see through into the hallway. Ichijou's waiting out there, in his coat that looks like Yashiro's, leaning patiently against the wall. "Everything's going to be just fine."

The manacle comes undone with a sad little click, and Yuusuke shivers as he rolls his ankle. Free. For the first time in two and a half months, completely free.

"It's all right, Yuusuke." Godai takes his arm and tugs him forward, away from the wall that's defined his little corner of the world for the last month and a half. "Come on."

He walks forward slowly, eyes fixed on the door, on Ichijou standing outside. Godai crosses the threshold first, and he hesitates a moment, looking back inside.

Natsumi is hugging Tsukasa in the middle of the room, and they're both watching him.

"You're coming, too?" He struggles against Godai's gentle tug on his wrist. "Tsukasa? Natsumi? You're coming, right?"

"Yuusuke…" Tsukasa smiles at him, but his knuckles are white where he clutches Natsumi.

"You don't need us anymore, Yuusuke." Natsumi's voice is gentle, but she's crying, tears trailing down her face and soaking into Tsukasa's gray shirt.

"I do." Ripping his arm away from Godai, he takes a step back into the room. "I won't leave. I won't leave you."

"Anything that binds you makes you stronger, Yuusuke." Tsukasa gestures at the walls. "It's part of why you had so much trouble getting back your control. To control Kuuga is to trump the host's humanity, and it's your humanity that makes Kuuga a power to be used and not a rampaging natural force of destruction."

"What does that have to do with—"

"Step through that door, like you have to do, Yuusuke, and you won't be able to see us. Not like this." Natsumi takes his hands in hers, and they're already so cold that he can't feel any difference. Or maybe hers are warm now, for this goodbye. "We're never going to leave you, Yuusuke. You meant the world to us."

"We'll always be whatever you need us to be." Tsukasa smiles at him, and for a moment he's in his DaiShocker uniform, and then it's his Tsukasa again. "But you're alive. And you need to be focusing on living people."

A hand grabs each of his wrists, and he turns to see Godai on one side of him, Ichijou on the other. Godai's eyes are fixed on Natsumi and Tsukasa; Ichijou's dart around the room, but there's an uneasy expression on his face that says he know they're present.

"Let me go. Just for a minute." He looks first at one man and then the other. "Please."

Godai does instantly, with a sad smile; Ichijou does a second later, watching him warily.

Running up to Tsukasa, he throws his arms around the man. Tsukasa doesn't feel quite real, not anymore, but he's not cold, either. "I'm sorry, Tsukasa. I'll miss you."

"Of course you will." Tsukasa's right hand runs through his hair, and he thinks he feels Tsukasa kiss the side of his head. Just a quick, soft caress, there and then gone. "Take care of yourself, Yuusuke. You've got a good smile, remember?"

He nods, because he can't respond without crying. Pulling away from Tsukasa, he grabs Natsumi in a tight embrace. "I'll miss you, too. I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

"You can't save everyone, Yuusuke." She kisses his mouth, but it's somehow still chaste, and though he knows it should taste of salt from her tears it doesn't. Doesn't taste like anything other than warm wind, and he's starting to cry though he's trying not to. "But you try. And I love that about you. Your courage, the fact that you always try… and your smile. Tsukasa's right. You've got a nice smile."

"Right." He rubs at the tears on his face, though more quickly take their place. "Then I'll smile for you. For both of you. Promise."

He gives them a thumb's up, because he can't manage to get any more words out coherently.

Then he takes Godai's hand with his right one, Ichijou's with his left, and lets them finally lead him away.