Hey everyone! Hope you're all having the loveliest of Sundays (or Mondays or Saturdays... sorry I'm horrible with calculating time differences haha whoops) :). So I've been really trying to write something worth posting on here, like really really trying. It's just that everything I've attempted writing just felt so poorly executed in my opinion and idk I just really felt like writing something that would actually be worth it to post, something that people would actually read, you know? And not that this is so much better than the other things I've tried... Like literally it's not, or rather the ideas aren't at least. I actually feel like this isn't as original as it really could be and it's definitely pretty long, but I'm really kind of proud of the way the actual writing/phrasing turned out? Idk? Let me know your thoughts guys :)
And for the people who requested I try and write a multichap (specifically tobyequalshotness), please know I am doing my very very bestest :) I'm just like fighting the battle of time, you feel? I have stuff going on from like 7:30 am-7:30 pm and it's just... Gah I'm busy. So if I don't post anything in the next month or so, keep an eye out for something later in June because that's when I'm out of school *wink wink*
Okay anyways I'm done with my rambling. Don't forget to review? Thanks guys ily :)
It's kind of ironic the way that life seems to work sometimes. One day you could be heaped up in a trembling ball of all-consuming emotions, and the next you'd have a smile on your face that resembles the radiant sun in the almost picturesque looking sky. It happens without warning, it feels like most times. It's like there's a lock hidden somewhere deep within your soul, and even the slightest of forces from the outside world has the power to use its metaphorical fingers and enter the combination to break through the strength you've tried so desperately to have keep you alive, and vice verse. There's no saying what combination is going to be turned or when, but that's just life, Spencer supposes.
Even now, when she's almost twenty one and very much out of that hell-hole the world knows as high school, it's the same. While things were far worse back then, dealing with stalkers and murderers and the constant threat of her own life and the lives of everybody else that she cared so deeply about, it is undoubtedly true that good days and bad days still come and go. She tries to push through the bad, to bury it all and to just think about the good, but such philosophies are always much easier said than done.
"What are you talking about, 'you don't know where my ring is'? I set it down on the counter top before I got into the shower - where I always do, mind you - and when I got out it was gone. Just like that. You were the only other person in the dorm at the time, so who else am I supposed to go ask? Casper?"
Spencer is fuming. The promise ring that Toby had given her a few months back, the one that had once belonged to his late mother, is missing. And the main suspect? Her flaky roommate who had once spent her days living it up in a jail cell for stealing fake IDs and is now a recovering felon, Chelsea. It isn't that Spencer hates the girl, because she doesn't. She's grown so incredibly close with her in the past couple of months, and she has even started to consider her a friend. It's just that right now, in this moment, all she can think about is Toby's face when she tells him that the ring is gone. It's going to crush him, and in return, it's going to crush her.
Spencer feels a little piece of her soul fall out, and she shutters. She will get it back, even if the cost is her roommate hating her. Toby is her main priority right now.
"I didn't take it, if that's what you're implying. I know how much that ring means to you; I mean, you only gush about it every chance you get, when you're not studying into crazy hours of the night or talking to Toby or the girls. I swear, I wouldn't do that to you. Besides, I haven't even been in the bathroom since before you went in."
She shakes her head now, not because she doesn't believe the girl, but because it just doesn't make any sense. If Chelsea didn't take it, then who did? Or did anybody even take it? It is possible that she just misplaced it or that it fell down onto the floor or something, but even that theory had little to no logic because she had searched the entire facility room on her hands and knees in attempt to find the jewel. She had no luck.
Spencer sighs and joins Chelsea on the edge of her perfectly made bed. It's kind of their thing to chill on one of their beds whenever they were having a deep, philosophical talk about life or boys or friends or whatever; there isn't even a reason for this, really. It's just a thing they do.
"I'm sorry," she says as she turns to look at her friend. "I just don't know what could have possibly happened, where it could have possibly gone. I racked my brain for all the possibilities but none of them made any sense except that maybe you took it or saw it and set it on my dresser or something for safe-keeping. I don't know. It just doesn't make any sense at all, you know? It's not like the ring grew legs and just got up and jumped off the counter..."
Chelsea smiles at her. "I know, and I'm not mad or hurt or offended or anything; I would jump to the same conclusion if I was in your position. It doesn't make sense where it went, though... Not if you put it on the counter. Like, really, nobody else has been in the dorm and you always remember where you put things especially when they're valuable so it's not like you forgot where you set it down. Do you want me to help you look again? Maybe it got caught on a towel or something."
When Spencer agrees, they get off the bed in unison and walk into the bathroom to find the thing that Spencer seems to cherish the most in the world; the only thing she loves more than that ring is the boy who gave it to her - the boy who is on her mind right now and who is on her mind always.
And sure enough, when they shake out the two towels on the counter and examine them for any sign of a shiny little gem, they find it in the one that she used for her hair. In Spencer's hurried haze she must have overlooked it when she had searched before. "Your roommate is literally an idiot," Spencer makes fun of herself as she rolls her eyes. "I don't know how I missed this, or even really how it got here in the first place."
"Please, don't even worry about it. At least you have it now, right? That's what matters."
She's right, and Spencer sighs again. It's so unlike her get this freaked out over something that so obviously had some sort of a logical explanation, but how could she help herself when it was something as big as this? The heirloom means as much to her as it does to Toby because it's a symbol of not only the undying, unconditional love that her boyfriend has for her, but also the undying, unconditional love that her boyfriend has for his mom. Spencer wishes more than anything that she could somehow be able to be here with them, but with that ring on her finger it's almost as if she really is. It would have killed them both if somehow it disappeared.
"I just really miss him," she says softly with a distant look in the depths of her eyes as she stretches out her finger so that she can put the ring back where it belongs. He had visited her a handful of times, but not as often as she found herself visiting him; she went back to his place in New Jersey where he now lived for a carpentry firm that he was in the process of opening up, for holidays and school breaks, and on their anniversary the past couple of years they'd each taken time off from their everyday lives to spend some time in the city. (New York, by the way. Spencer goes to school at Columbia.)
But as often as they see each other, it's never enough. They talk every night while Spencer does her homework, despite knowing how distracting it would prove to be, and whenever it's ever possible they try and fit in a Skype date.
Although, it doesn't make the distance hurt any less. Spencer spent all of last night bawling her eyes out just longing for his warm embrace.
"I know," Chelsea sympathizes. "When was the last time you saw him again? Was it when he gave you the ring?"
"Yeah, it was our anniversary," Spencer answers almost painfully, although she can feel a sort of shadow of a blush growing on her cheeks as she remembers how they'd spent their time together that last night.
Her roommate nods, but Spencer can see the beginnings of a smirk start to appear on her face.
"What?" The brunette asks, confused. "What's with the smirk?"
Chelsea shakes her head, her orange-ish/red hair dancing along with it. "Nothing," she says, but her giggles start to prove otherwise.
"Tell me! Chelsea, tell me or else I swear to you I will steal all of your textbooks and never give them back to you. And you know how I always stay true to my word, so don't even try and test me."
She shakes her head again. "I can't tell you yet, I'm sorry," she tries as she smiles. But Spencer isn't having this. If her friend knew something about Toby, something that she didn't, Spencer wants to know about it. Screw timing; she wants to know now.
Just as she is about to say something else to try and pry the truth out of the poor girl, Spencer's phone goes off, and her heart skips two beats when she sees that the caller ID says no other than Toby's name. Is he calling about whatever it was that Chelsea had been giggling about? She clicks the "answer" button all too desperately.
"Hey! Me and Chelsea were just talking about you, actually."
"Were you? Funny, because I was just thinking about you. Not Chelsea, though. Only you." Spencer can almost see his smile through the phone, and she can't help but show off one of her own. She sees her roommate roll her eyes from the corner of her vision as she turns to walk out of the bathroom. Spencer looks around and decides to sit herself up on the counter-top. She feels like a sixteen year old again."So, how's junior year treating you since we last talked? Which, you know, was kind of last night but I guess you never know what can happen in a matter of a couple of hours when you're in college. Are you feeling any better?"
"Still missing you, but yeah I'm a lot better now. You wouldn't believe what happened earlier, though. It's not a funny story."
"What happened?"
She considers telling Toby about the whole ring-ideal now, but figures against it. That conversation should happen in person rather than over the phone. It felt too intimate of a topic for that. She lets out a sigh. "You know, never-mind. I don't need to open this can of worms right now; just can you remind me to tell you about it later? I really do want to talk about this with you."
Spencer hears a minor pause, and she assumes it's because he's nodding his head. "Of course." He's never been one to pry, which is a trait of his that Spencer absolutely adores because she's always been such a closed-off person. When she wants to talk about something, she will, but until then things are far better off left unsaid. Toby's always understood that, and she loves that about him.
"So do you have any plans for today? It is a Saturday, after all. Any big tests to study for or essays or projects to work on?"
"Always." Spencer laughs. "But I'm considering playing it cool today and just working extra hard tomorrow, I don't know. It's been a long week. How about you? Any big carpentry projects you have going on?"
She hears a little chuckle, and she can't help but think it sounds a little like the one Chelsea had let out when they were talking before. Even still, his laugh was the most adorable sound she had ever heard in her entire life. "Actually, now that you mention it... There is this job that I kind of wanted to run by you before I gave the bosses any official answer."
"I'm intrigued. What job?"
"The kind of job that I think you might really, really like..." He is really suspicious sounding, and Spencer can't help but grin. She tries to think of the different types of carpentry jobs she might be interested in. A history monument site maybe? A science museum? Her brain is suddenly extremely foggy since answering the phone; he has that affect on her.
"Is it in Jersey?"
"Nope. Try again."
"D.C.? Paris? Toby, I don't know. Can't you just tell me?"
"Okay. It's in..." But he doesn't elaborate or continue with his sentence.
"Where? Where is it in?"
Once again, Spencer hears that wonderful, hearty sound that she swears has the power to end world hunger and stop wars: his laugh. She doesn't think she will ever get over it, but it's not as though she even wants to; she loves it more than almost everything in the whole entire universe. But instead of hearing it only over the phone, Spencer hears it also coming from directly behind her - in her dorm room.
"New York," he grins as he hangs up the phone and opens up his arms so that his girlfriend can run into them after jumping off the counter. Spencer shakes her head and lets out a sound that is somewhat a hybrid between a giggle and a sob. She's practically sprinting into his embrace, but yet it feels like everything is in slow motion.
"Toby," she breathes into his neck, only half believing that this whole situation is real. "What are you doing here? I don't... I don't know what to say. You got offered a job here?"
"Yeah," he replies, still smiling. "I got a call a couple of days ago asking for my help with this new European style building they're planning on adding to campus. They said they saw my resume and they - "
"Wait," Spencer interrupts. "Campus?! You mean when you said 'here,' you actually meant here? Like at Columbia? Oh my god. You're taking it, right?"
Toby's grin widens at her excitement. The reason he hadn't immediately jumped at the offer was because he didn't want to pry his way into her new life at college. It may sound silly, but he didn't want her to feel obligated to change anything about the way she did things now, not for him. But seeing the way her face lit up at the prospect of him staying here for this job soothed his worries more than he could ever know how to say.
"I think I am," he replies. "I mean, the pay is great, the location is even better, and I'd get to see you more often than every couple of months... But are you okay with me doing this? I wouldn't want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. I wouldn't want to intrude."
"Are you kidding? Please, you were so right before when you said you got offered a job I might really, really like. You wouldn't be intruding at all; if anything, you'd be making my life three million times better than it is right now. My vote is that you definitely have to take this. You'll end up regretting it if you don't." Spencer is beaming, and most likely rambling too, but she doesn't care. All she cares about is Toby.
"Okay, I will." Toby chuckles and he shakes his head at her answer. Oh, how he missed her. "I definitely will."
As if it's only just now that they realize they are still half inside the bathroom, the couple takes their now intertwined hands and walks further inside the dorm. They make their way to Spencer's bed and lie down beside one another, and they sigh in perfect serenity.
Spencer looks around and finds that her roommate has disappeared and she decides to break the silence. "Hey, was Chelsea in here when you walked in? And wait, how did you even get in here? Did I leave the door unlocked?"
"Not that I would be surprised if you did leave it unlocked, no. It was locked. Chelsea and the girls have been in on this for practically the entire week, so your roommate's the one who let me in. She left right after that, though, so I'm not really sure where she went off to."
She nods, feeling much more in the loop now. Those suspicious giggles from both Toby and Chelsea made so much more sense. And so did the texts she'd been receiving from Hanna, Emily, and Aria, now that she thinks about it... Those winky faces were kind of creeping her out.
"Well thanks for the surprise, boyfriend."
Together they laugh, and soon their lips find each other and everything feels like a dream. Better than a dream, actually. They take turns re-familiarizing with each other and inhaling the other person's scents, but it almost seems unnecessary because it feels as though they'd never even been apart.
"Oh and Spence," Toby suddenly says out of the blue. "I didn't even tell you the best part of all this."
"What could be better than you coming to stay in New York?" Spencer asks honestly, genuinely not believing that anything could ever top this.
"When this job is finished with, because it's literally a European style building that we're going to be working on, they're sending us all to Europe. Well, the ones who get this job done right get to go at least. The top guys are looking for the best of the best and they've been searching basically the whole world-wide carpentry base for the ones who might be up for the job. This whole New York thing is more or less a test, so if I pass, I leave the country and head for Europe in one and a half years. Only if you'd come with me, of course."
"Of course I'd go with you! Toby, that's so great; I'm so proud of you." She really is, and she just has to let him know. He doesn't give himself enough credit for how truly amazing he is.
"Seriously so," she presses a kiss to his cheek. "So," another to his nose. "So," a last one to his lips. "Proud of you."
This is the first time she's felt this genuinely happy in such a long time, and honestly it feels refreshing. She's happy because not only is he here, but he is accomplishing his dreams and bringing her along with him.
"So when you say Europe," Spencer whispers, "do you mean like France? Or..."
Toby smiles lazily. "Yes, actually. France then later Italy... Maybe London, but they haven't really confirmed that one yet."
A giddy laugh escapes Spencer's lips, and she closes her eyes in attempt to memorize every single thing about this moment. Moments like these are all too rare.
"I love you," she feels the words fall off her lips like a melody that's been sitting there forever. "I love you so much, and I'm so glad you're here."
"I love you too," Toby whispers back. "And never forget that. Promise me, okay?"
She nods her head, still not believing that this is now her reality.
And suddenly it feels as though everything is going to somehow be alright in the end. Suddenly the whole ring fiasco from earlier seems like it was ages ago, and so does her total breakdown from the night before. There's just something about the boy she's inside the arms of that gives her the ability to forget all about her troubles, and to just live in the moment and focus on the good parts of life.
She will eventually tell Toby about the ring situation, whether it's later today or tomorrow or whenever it happens to be, but right now just doesn't feel right. Right now is reserved for kisses and for love and for the purest of silence to ever have existed. Right now is reserved for them and only for them.
So as Toby raises up their connected hands and kisses her knuckles one by one, he rests his lips upon the left finger where his mother's ring is resting just a little longer than the others. He closes his eyes as he too tries to memorize the moment, because such perfection like this was all too rare to come about.
Whatever life ends up throwing their way, whether it's figuring out their living situations for the next year and a half or a fight they get to having with each other about finances or whatever else it happens to be that they deal with, they know that they'll be able to get through it and come out stronger than ever before.
There are a ton of things that Spencer is still unsure about, but there is one thing she is for certain: Toby Cavanaugh is etched into her life, and he is etched into her heart. Through the bad days and the good days, even the ones that come as a complete surprise and either make or break a mood, Spencer knows that Toby will be there through it all, never ever leaving her side. Spencer sighs contentedly as she stares at the boy she calls her own. There is absolutely nothing she could even dream about wanting more, this she knows for sure.
"I promise."
And it's true. It's so, so true.
