Disclaimer: I don't own Dodgeball, nor do I have anything to do with the people who do... That would be pretty cool though, wouldn't it?
A/N: Okay, I wrote this out of an appreciation for Alan Tudyk, as well as Steve himself. When I started I didn't plan to upload it, but as it went along and grew and such, I realized I really wanted to share it. So here it is. Please don't take it too seriously; it's just some silly fangirl scribbling. Just enjoy it, and review if you have something nice to say.
A/N 2: Thanks to the ever helpful SlackerUK, I know present to you the new and improved version of Steve and Lily: A Historical Romance.
1.
This has to be a dream, an impossible dream, she thought. It had started a nightmare when her stepsisters had dragged her to the club after strapping this ridiculous dress and these painful shoes onto her protesting form. They had firmly decreed they would come back after getting her a man, if only for the night, or not at all. Lily had firmly declared she wanted no man for one night, and no man they dredged up from the bottom of the club would meet her desires.
"You're doing it again," Sara had scolded.
"Doing what, pray tell?"
"Talking like you're in a goddamn period piece," Helga retorted, "Talk normal, or I'll hit you with the 'handbag of useless size' you refuse to carry."
Lily had scowled at her and the stupid handbag. And now here she was, clasping the bag like it was a tiny life-preserver in the roiling sea of testosterone Sara and Helga kept continually whipped up around her. Thankfully most of the specimens seemed more interested in Lily's blond and leggy stepsisters than the petite, dark, female-shaped shadow that seemed forever between them and their goal. It was only thanks to the persistence of two rather statuesque males that Lily managed to squeeze out of the increasingly claustrophobic feeding frenzy Sara and Helga had created. She gripped the railing that separated the bar from the few tables on the club's first floor, breathing deeply and slowly. It was a good thing she got that out of the way, since she stopped breathing altogether the minute she cast her eyes to the door.
A pirate had entered the club. He sauntered across the floor, keeping near the wall. His boots made wonderful clomping sounds as he walked, and the rings on his fingers caught the flashing lights over the dance floor on the club's open lower level. His attire was so at odds with the club's blue and black motif, he was fairly invisible to other club patrons; they simply didn't, maybe couldn't see the pirate walking through their lovely evening. None of this mattered to Lily; she couldn't tear her eyes off of him. It was like- hell, it was having your favorite fantasy suddenly spring to life. In another few moments, the pirate would notice her- well, ogling him, and then... Happily ever after, she could only hope.
Helga snickered. She had caught sight of the pirate. "I didn't know Disney robots liked bar-hopping." The suitor swarm chuckled along. Helga poked Lily just as she dared to think the pirate may have noticed her noticing him. Lily, her courage wilting under Helga's scorn, managed to produce a sickly and short-lived smile before turning shame-faced back to the pirate. He knew she was looking this time, and she tried to arrange her face in a manner that would communicate, "My stepsister is known around the house as 'Ultra Bitch.' Please don't think me in league with her. I think you are..." Here she just hoped she had the facial muscles to send the rest of the message, because words had failed her.
Her heart contracted at the flash of hurt she saw on his face from Helga's remark, and she redoubled her efforts, also cautiously adding to the message, "Please save me from these evil harpies and their drones, gentle pirate. I want to be with you!"
The pirate sidled farther down the club, but he held her gaze. He lowered himself into a booth at the back of the club which hid him from view. A hand came back into sight, in an offering gesture towards the other booth seat, and then was laid on the table.
Lily knew what she had to do. She surreptitiously extracted herself from the man-herd around Sara and Helga, and, after smoothing down her dress and making sure her waist-length hair was still quite trapped in her stepsisters' arrangement, she walked towards the pirate's table with a pounding heart. I can't believe this is happening, I can't believe I'm doing this. Well, it is happening and I am doing this- and right under Sara and Helga's pointy noses too! She stopped just before the pirate's line of vision; she wanted to make a good impression and knew it would be easier if she wasn't under his intense gaze.
"Is this seat taken, gentle pirate?" she asked, her voice hitching up at the end in only barely concealed hopeful desire. Her ears itched, a sure sign she was embarrassed.
"It's been waitin' all night fer you," he said, and Lily's mouth opened in delighted shock which spread into an ecstatic grin. She put her hand over her mouth and schooled her features before sliding into the booth. She kept her shaking hands in her lap as she wordlessly feasted on the pirate's features. Strong chin, silky red hair; a toned body was hidden by his baggy shirt, Lily couldn't help but wonder if the pirate had no ship (as his mere existence indicated) how he kept a body as muscular as if he worked all day and night on the deck of a grand vessel.
"My name is- um, my name is Lily," she carefully kept her voice from dipping into the comfortable English accent her stepsisters scolded her for. "It's not normal," they would say, "You're from Indiana, for crissakes!"
"The lovely Lady Lily," the pirate said, and she blushed at the compliment, lowering her gaze demurely, "An' I be Steve."
Lily looked up in surprise. Steve? Okay, she'd seen a great deal of pirate movies and plays and TV shows, and she had yet to come across a-
"Steve the Pirate," he continued with a roguish grin in full force. Okay, she thought, he's a whackjob. Just like me. This last thought gave her a grin of her own. This was incredible. This was impossible! Lily had never been much on karma or cosmic justice, but she was definitely forming the idea that years of torment under the boot heels of her stepsisters may be getting paid off tonight.
"Well, Steve, I feel very fortunate indeed this night to make your acquaintance." She extended a hand to shake. Steve did take the appendage in a gentle grip, but instead lay a light kiss on her knuckles. Lily relished the shivers that the kiss and his warm breath on her skin sent down her body. She unconsciously bit her lower lip and dug the nails of her unoccupied hand into the booth seat.
"Let's get out of here," Steve said quietly, his eyes boring into hers, "Somethin' tells me, miss, ye' may need a spot o' rescuin' from these sea hags." He jerked his head in Sara and Helga's direction.
"For that I would be eternally in your debt, good sir." He grinned again, vacating his seat and offering a helping hand to Lily in one smooth motion. She again demurely lowered her eyes and accepted his hand in exiting her own seat. Steve kept her out of view of the pack of rabid men and her stepsisters until they were safely on the street outside the club.
"My stepsisters aren't that bad, really," Lily said as they walked, "Well, Helga most likely is. But I think Sara just worries after me."
"What does she worry for, if I may ask?"
Lily forced a little laugh, hoping to hide the pain of the oppression she had felt for so long, "Well, it's fairly obvious, isn't it? They find it unnatural, my- shall we say proclivity regarding pirates and the like."
"They fear ye shall be swept away by some scurvy sea dog? Well, I fear their fear may have been realized, if I ain't dreamin' that I'm walkin' wit' a lovely lass wit' a 'proclivity regarding pirates,' as you say."
Lily truly laughed, and snuggled a bit closer to Steve, "More like they fear I'll never find a suitable husband. They think I'm stuck in the past- I mean, the more immediate past."
"An' what happened in the immediate past?"
She paused, wondering how much she could share with this man who she'd barely known ten minutes. Though it didn't seem like she barely knew him. It felt like she could say anything to him, anything at all, and it would still be okay. They would still walk together. "My father was a history re-enactor. He played parts in recreations of famous battles. Sea battles, mostly- he loved the water. He would take me to rehearsals and show me everything. I became as much of a loon as he was about history. Particularly the seventeen and eighteen hundreds. Well, there was an accident at one of the shows- a cannon misfired or something of the kind, and he was killed. I was twelve. My mother remarried two years later, but I suppose I never could move on quite so easily."
"I don't understand why we must move on so quickly when death knocks onna' loved one's door. What're we afraid of? Bein' sad? Remeberin'? I don't know."
"Well, remembering my father doesn't make me sad. It makes me happy, in fact."
"Exactly. So why must ya' be forced ta' cast those memories aside? Keep 'em, an' don't let yer wicked stepsisters, or yer mum take 'em away, iffn' they make ya' happy."
"I think you make me happy, Steve."
"Glad ta' hear it."
2.
Steve said he would take Lily to a place more fun than any club or bar in the city. Consider Lily's mystification upon finding herself before Average Joe's Gym. She'd seen commercials for it, and had to pass it on the way to work, but hadn't ventured inside as of yet. She recalled the building's former occupation of Globo Gym, with its horrible commercials featuring that bizarre little man. He certainly hadn't struck her as pirate material, and therefore dropped off her radar early. Globo Gym Average Joe's certainly was not, she soon discovered, and much to her relief. The interior was well-lit and done in hardwood floors and brick walls. Even though the hour was late, the gym still held many people of all shapes and sizes, working out or taking a break in the lounge rooms or eating at the snack bars. It seemed business was booming at Average Joe's.
Steve led Lily through the gym, receiving and giving warm greetings to more than a few of the gym's patrons. "You're quite popular here," Lily remarked.
"Aye, been here since the ver' beginning, back in the old building what's now a parkin' lot. Do ye' like it here?"
"Oh, very much," Lily truthfully answered, "I remember that horrible Globo Gym that used to be here. I was so happy to hear it was dead and gone." She paused, "Hey, I remember now. The dodgeball game, you were there, I heard about it on ESPN 8, the Ocho." She couldn't believe she hadn't recognized him.
Steve's "Aargh, aye" sounded slightly embarrassed, though it sent a shiver through Lily nonetheless, and the pair kept walking. They stopped when Steve spotted a tall man with closely-cropped brown hair from behind. The man was walking the floor, greeting and having short conversations with guests. Steve and Lily followed him until he reached a back hallway for employees. "Evenin', mate!" Steve called out.
The tall man whipped around, a protective hand at his neck. "Oh- Steve! Ha, uh, evening, right. Glad you're taking my advice about the, uh-" He gestured a bit towards his neck, but trailed off when he noticed Lily.
"Oh, right," Steve said, "Peter, this here's Lily, uh- Lily-"
"Lily Veatch," she supplied the floundering pirate. He grinned sheepishly, and she offered him a reassuring smile.
"Veatch?" Peter said, "No kidding. You wouldn't happen to know a Kate Veatch, would you?"
"She's my cousin, actually."
"Wow, that's great. I'm kind of her boyfriend."
Lily blinked. Kate had a boyfriend? That was new... "Oh, bisexual. Forgot for a moment."
"It's just funny," Pete continued, "I didn't know Kate had any relatives in England."
Lily's hand flew to her mouth and she flushed crimson. Have I been using the accent this entire time? Oh bother, ten minutes from my stepsisters and I'm right back where I was! "No, I'm sorry. I'm not from England. It's just, um- sometimes, it just happens..." She trailed off into her personal world of abject humiliation.
"Don't worry, Peter," Steve said quickly, "She's normal. She's normal fer us."
"Oh, right, okay," Peter replied sounding as if that simple statement had somehow completely assured him, "Well, you two have fun, alright? I'll see ya' around, buddy." He clapped Steve on the shoulder and waved to Lily as he left.
"He's a fine manner o' man," Steve remarked as they continued walking, "Always there fer whatever ya' need. Very understandin' man, as well."
Lily agreed, but couldn't help a surge of relief to be alone with Steve again. She could be herself with Steve. The couple walked around for a while, and Lily met more of Steve's friends, each kinder than the next and each surprised and delighted to discover her relation to Kate. She carefully kept her accent restricted to the tri-state area around them, though not a soul in the building seemed to notice her arm in arm with a man dressed as a pirate, let alone her changeable inflection. Lily quickly understood why Steve thought Average Joe's was better than any club or bar. He was accepted here without question or cruel observation of any kind. She wondered if she could as easily fit in.
They stayed there for hours, wandering the gym's many areas. They ate low-cholesterol burgers in the food court and played video games in the arcade. Lily was having the time of her life with Steve; she didn't even have to guard her accent. They chattered like a pair of British parrots about many things. Steve told her about his minor identity crisis, which explained his absence from the final game against Globo Gym. Lily continued to tell him about her father and reenactments. She told him of her dream of being a re-enactor full time, but she knew the pay wasn't good and if she went for it she would have to move back in with her mother and stepfamily, who would disapprove of her choice anyway. She didn't want to live with their constant condemnation.
"I wish I was brave like you, Steve," she admitted quietly. They sat outside Average Joe's entrance. Lily shivered a bit in her dress, and Steve wished he had a coat to give her. Lily picked up Steve's arm and put it over her shoulder, and they both felt better.
"What's brave 'bout me, then?"
Lily stared at him, unable to believe he had no idea what she was talking about. But there was pure curiosity in his eyes. "You're not afraid to be who you are, of course. Look at me, I'm a closet case! I'm a coward. You saw in there, when we talked to your friends, I couldn't work up the nerve to speak as I want to speak. I'm not brave like you."
"Yer speakin' as ye' want now," he reasoned, referring to her mellifluous and undoubtedly British voice.
"But I won't when I go home. I can't even do it around my own family."
"You know they'd mock ya' if you did."
"Oh, Steve," she sighed and let her head fall to his shoulder. She tried to just enjoy being with him, the pirate of her most secret and fevered dreams. He stroked her hair gently, but the hairstyle pulled at her roots until she finally sat upright. Steve jerked away; worried he'd done something wrong, and watched her grumble as she began yanking her hair free of the volley of bobby pins it had been impaled upon by her stepsisters that evening. After a great deal of curses and tangles, Lily finally let her dark hair swing down her back.
"That is so much better!" she cried in relief, finger-combing the wavy mass with her head tilted back. She turned to Steve, "What do you think?"
"B-better," Steve choked out. Suddenly the shy, sweet Lily he'd been with all night looked- well, she looked hot. He could see the resemblance between her and her cousin now, in the bright gleam of her eyes and the curve of her face as her hair fell in dark, shining waves.
Lily picked up on the mood-shift. She grinned rather wickedly before pulling Steve's mouth to hers. After some time their troubles drifted off, embarrassed and irritated at being ignored. "Do you want to go to my place?" Lily asked, breathing heavily after so long without air. Steve could only nod.
3.
Steve woke, but waited before opening his eyes. He shifted in bed a little, hoping against hope that last night wasn't just an incredible dream, and that he actually was in the bed of a beautiful woman who was turned on by pirates. He couldn't truly believe it, it wasn't possible to him. After a number of years, he'd gotten used to the fact that while women may find him amusing for a time, he would never find a woman who understoodhim. A woman to which he was more than a novelty. He had reason to believe he currently occupied the bed of that woman. He cracked open an eye, and swallowed a whoop of joy upon finding himself in an unfamiliar room. There was only one test left. He carefully rolled over, and was greeted by the best thing he'd seen in quite some time. Lily's face was clear and peaceful as she slept. Her hair, that incredible, wild mane, framed her face like a dark halo. Steve had never seen anything so beautiful. He couldn't resist ghosting his fingers down that angel's face, and his reward was a sweet smile as her eyes slowly opened. That smile widened considerably as she saw him, and Steve dared to hope she was just as glad to see him as he was to see her.
"Morning," they said at the same time. They both chuckled and then fell silent, just happy to feast their eyes on the other and continually tell themselves that they were the luckiest people in the world.
"Breakfast?" Lily finally asked.
"Aye," Steve replied, and relished the flash of desire his rough pirate voice brought to Lily's eyes.
Lily pulled on some clothes and left the room. As soon as the bedroom door closed on the pirate in her bed, she skip-danced the rest of the way to the kitchen. She couldn't help it, if she didn't let out her ecstasy in some way she would explode into a million little happy bits. And unless Steve had a jar and a lot of patience that would kind of ruin things. She skip-danced her way back to the bedroom once she realized she had no idea what she was supposed to make. "Steve?" she said as she poked her head into the room, only to immediately pull back at the sight of him dressing, "Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were changing."
"You do know ye've seen me naked b'fore, right?" he asked once he left the bedroom to join her in the hall. He held her gently be the hips where she leaned against the wall, pinning her with his gaze, "Little late ta' be bashful, darlin'."
Lily allowed herself a sinful grin. "I suppose so," she said with the slightest but most unmistakable of wiggles in his grip. Correctly reading her invitation, Steve kissed her hard. She kissed him back. They both found it excellent.
A few of make-out sessions and an R-rated cooking show later found the couple at table, eating what little actual food that was the results of afore mentioned cooking show. They had just started their adult infomercial on dish-washing liquids when the doorbell rang.
Lily's eyes bulged to an alarming size and she swore most efficiently in one clear, blue, four-letter word, "FUCK!"
"We heard that, little Lily," called a voice at the door, "Now what's going on in there? What on earth happened to you last night?"
"We were so worried, Lily," another voice said in a slightly gentler tone, "You just disappeared! Let us in, please."
"What's going on?" Steve asked as Lily raced around the kitchen trying frantically to clean up.
"It's my bloody stepsisters! I should have known they'd hunt me down."
"What do you want me to do?"
This made Lily pause. She looked at Steve, her wonderful pirate, and said with a deeply shamed and sorrowful face, "Hide." She dropped her gaze, unable to look at the hurt on Steve's face for more than a second. It tore at her heart just too much.
"Right," she heard him say. When she looked up, he was gone. Just like that, it was as if he'd never entered her life at all, as if she was still so alone it took her breath away. She gave the kitchen a cursory glance before entering the apartment's foyer and opening the door.
"What did you do to your hair?" Helga asked, lowering her sunglasses slowly to inspect the cascade of silky tresses adorning Lily's head.
"Really, Lily," Sara said, "It took us forty-five minutes to pin all that up. Why did you ruin it?"
"It hurt," she responded, and swallowed nervously. She was terrified she'd slip into her accent unconsciously. She'd been using it all night, to which her vivid memories could attest, and felt out of practice with her other accent. She hoped if she kept her responses short, her stepsisters wouldn't spot it.
Sara and Helga had fanned out over the apartment's living room like a pair of hunting dogs, and Lily felt her stomach roil with tension and undercooked scrambled eggs.
"So, little Lily," Helga said with a falsely casual tone. Lily had always believed her stepsister's secret dream was to be a cop, just for the interrogations, "You haven't answered our question. What happened to you last night? We looked all over the club, you were gone. We went to your apartment, you weren't there. Where were you?"
"I told you, I didn't want a man. I left. I walked around for a bit. Then I came home."
Sara immediately came to her stepsister's side, "Lily! What if you'd been hurt? Or mugged? Or raped, God forbid! You would've been defenseless! Couldn't you have taken one man along?" A truly modern woman, was Sara. Lily mentally rolled her eyes.
Helga was still stalking around the apartment, and Lily tried to stay calm. There was no way she could know what had happened, none. Neither of the sisters had seen her leave, and there were no clues in the apartment that Steve even existed. Although Lily seemed to remember a flash of red somewhere near the couch before she opened the door. "And who does this belong to?" Helga inquired, holding Steve's bandana between two pinched fingers as if it was radioactive.
"Mine," Lily said as she snatched it from Helga, "I'm a pirate in the next reenactment." She clutched the piece of fabric in both hands.
"You still do those things?" Helga scoffed, "Why?"
"Because I like them. They remind me of my father," Lily spat back.
"Oh, right," Helga said, as if just being reminded Lily had brown eyes.
"And you would do well to show some respect," Lily continued, her voice thick with venom and a British accent.
"Geez, calm down. You don't have to get all Margaret Thatcher on me." Helga strode past her, her hands held up in a surrender pose. "C'mon, Sara, let's get out of here." Lily didn't move until the door shut behind her stepsisters. Then she fell onto the couch and buried her face into the bandana in her hands, choking on tears.
"Go ahead, I got more," Steve said from the bedroom door.
The first ragged sob tore through her throat and into the bandana before she could stop it. She held the fabric on her lap, using the back of her hand to mop up tears. "I'm sorry, Steve. I'm so sorry. I told you I wasn't brave like you. Now do you believe me?"
Steve was quiet for a breathless minute. He couldn't deny it had hurt when she'd told him to hide, instead of admitting right off the bat to her stepsisters that she had found a man, just not the man they were expecting. She'd even been given a second chance when Helga had found the bandana, but she hadn't taken it. But somehow he knew in his heart that, if the stepsisters ever did find out, Lily would defend him just as fiercely as she did her father's memory. He'd heard their conversation from his hiding place, and was impressed by Lily's unbridled anger and contempt for Helga. His decision made, Steve reached out a hand and gently touched Lily's hair. "Yer brave enough ta' stand fer yer father's mem'ry. I think it's not too long comin' you'll be able ta' stand fer yerself."
Lily leaned into the pirate's touch and whispered, "Thank you."
Steve came around the side of the couch and lifted Lily to her feet by her elbows. He looked deeply into her eyes as he said, "How'd ya' like another trip ta' Average Joe's, darlin'?"
"I would like that of all things," she replied, then paused, suddenly deep in thought. "Come with me," she said, and led him back into the bedroom.
She stopped at the closet and turned to Steve, who was grinning the unmistakable grin of a man under the firm belief that he is about to get lucky. She dutifully ignored it, saying, "You know I do reenactments like my father. Well, sometimes I keep the costumes- for Halloween, and, um, things," she added quickly. She opened the closet to reveal a neat row of period dresses, all perfectly modeled to two hundred year old fashions. Steve's eyebrows perked up, wondering what on earth Lily could have in mind with these. His unspoken question was soon answered. "Pick one."
Steve cast a curious glance at Lily, who was blushing furiously. He slowly ran his eyes down the row of dresses, and then looked back at Lily, this time with a critical eye. He was beginning to get an inkling of what she may be planning, but he kept quiet and considered his options. Finally he picked out a jade green dress, one that brought out the reddish orange in her hair.
"Okay," Lily said, "Wait out in the living room, please." She pointed to the door, not quite meeting Steve's eyes. He was still curious, and was verging on confused, but he did as he was told and left. Lily took a deep breath before plunging into action.
Steve waited on the couch for a full ten minutes and was considering knocking on the bedroom door, just to check on her, when said door opened to reveal a lady straight from the pages of history. She walked silently into the room in laced slippers as her hands unconsciously patted down her dress. The lady's hair was held up in a loose knot at the crown of her head, allowing free locks to fall around her face and neck. She gracefully curtsied to the pirate on her couch, who was openly gaping at this vision in jade green. Finally, Lily smiled at the stunned Steve, "Shall we to Average Joe's?" Again, Steve could only nod.
4.
It was a strange and nervous first few minutes for Lily, who'd never worn her costumes off the set of whatever reenactment she was in. But she took strength from Steve's presence, and couldn't help but smile whenever she caught his proud grin as they walked down the street. He was proud of her, that fact alone made every odd look the couple got pale to almost nothing. It was as if they walked in a personal bubble where no one's cruel words could touch them. It was like magic, like a miracle. Lily hadn't been happier since her father's death. When they reached the gym she was almost sorry they couldn't continue to walk, a pirate and his lady strolling in the early sunlight. Oh well, they could just as easily be a pirate and his lady strolling through the gym. Lily allowed Steve to lead her all over the gym, blatantly showing her off. She didn't mind, just shot a wry and knowing grin at him whenever he glanced at her. Finally they came upon Peter and Kate going over paper work as they ate some breakfast at one of the gym's small restaurants.
"Good morning, Steve," Kate said with a smile, and then looked to his companion. Then looked at his companion, "Lily?"
Lily bobbed a quick curtsey before saying, "Good morning to you, Kate. It's simply wonderful to see you again."
Kate shot a quick glance at Peter, who hadn't quite finished looking at Lily. She got out of her seat with a growing smile, "Well, can I have a hug? C'mere!" Lily graciously enveloped her cousin in a tight embrace before Kate pulled back to survey Lily's dress. "You look amazing," she definitively announced, "Where did you get this?"
"From the reenactments. Don't tell anyone, I kind of stole it."
Kate laughed, but said seriously, "I'm glad you're still doing them. I haven't really heard anything since Uncle Jack's funeral. I've been worried about you."
"Well, no need to trouble yourself further," Lily said, leaning back against Steve, "I've been doing quite fine indeed since I found Steve." Both the lady and the pirate blushed a little.
"I can see that," Kate said with raised brows, "And I'm overjoyed to hear it. So, do you two have any plans today?"
The couple glanced to each other. "No," Steve said.
"Well, how about some dinner later? Peter and I've got a lot of work to do, but we should be done by five or so. Right?"
Pete blinked for the first time in the conversation's length, and looked at Kate, "Five? Uh, yeah, five sounds- right." It was obvious he had no idea what was going on. Kate smiled wearily, once again thanking whoever responsible for Joyce back at her house, otherwise she would've been gone months ago.
"Cert'nly, Kate," Steve answered, "Where?"
"I dunno, how about Dirty Sanchez's?"
"Oh, they have the most delightful tacos there," Lily chimed in.
"Okay, I think that seals it. We'll see you at five," Kate sat back down and the couple left her and Peter to their work.
5.
Five found Lily and Steve playing darts in Dirty Sanchez's. Thankfully they both had the day off their respective jobs, and therefore were able to spend the whole day together. Lily had changed into a modified dress that would allow her to maneuver among the restaurant's tables and patrons with less difficulty, more early nineteen hundreds fashion instead of mid eighteen hundreds. One of her pet peeves, she told Steve, was the lack of space in this day and age. There was simply no room for hoop skirts anymore, a fact she lamented.
"Peter, Kate! Over here!" Steve called to their friends when he spotted them. "Perfect timing."
"Yes, I was just about to win," Lily quipped. Steve gave her a sheepish smile as they sat at a table with the other couple.
"Oh, a new dress," Kate said, admiring Lily's new look.
"A lady must always wear her best for supper," the admiree said, preening ever so slightly. Steve was struck for a moment by how much Lily had changed in only one day of freedom. She didn't pause before she spoke, to make sure her accent stayed in check. She didn't scurry like a mouse in her awkward modern clothes; she glided in her reenactment costume with her head held high as a queen's. And Lily knew she had her pirate to thank for it, all of it. Dinner went by all too quickly for the quartet, and Pete and Kate left first, leaving Steve and Lily to entertain themselves.
"It truly is wonderful to see Kate again," Lily said, "I wish I'd kept contact after Father's death."
"Well, ye' have now, an' that's the important thing." They smiled at each other, and Steve stood up, announcing, "Time ta' drain the sea dragon."
Lily blushed and smiled and swatted the grinning pirate away. She stayed at the table, nursing her drink and thinking on the promising new direction her life seemed to be taking. So wrapped up in happy recollections was she, Lily almost didn't notice the heavy, alcohol-reeking body that had dropped into the seat nearest her.
"Hey," the mouth of that body grunted in her direction. Lily calmly turned from him. "Hey," the drunk said again, this time poking her in the shoulder.
"Hey yourself," Lily forced out, her hand tightly clenching her beer mug's handle.
"Whut? 'M I botherin' you, Mrs. Washington?" he giggled at his oh so hilarious joke before returning his inebriated attentions back to Lily. "C'mon," he said, taking her forearm in a vise-like grip and pulling her to her feet.
"Let go now," Lily said, calling up all her acting skills to mask her growing fear. She cast her eyes over the mass of Dirty Sanchez's patrons, but no one seemed anxious to help out the crazy woman in the old timey dress. Lily knew she was feeling the same sense of hurt and alienation Steve felt every day. As the drunk began pulling her toward the door, Lily also knew she would be on her own. She waited for a few more tugs, and then let herself shoot forward on the drunk's own momentum, driving the back of her fist into his nose. The drunk groaned in pain, dropping to his knees and clutching at his bleeding face. It was then that Steve returned from the bathroom. In the blink of an eye he was at Lily's side, his blade poised at the drunk.
"Problems, m'darlin'?" he asked, his eyes blazing in fury.
"No, my love," Lily calmly answered, watching the drunk crawling away from them, "My friend tripped, didn't he?"
"Over m'own shoelaces, tha's right, ma'am," said the drunk as he made a frantic beeline for the door on all fours.
"Well," said Steve, his knife hidden in a flash, "Seems I shouldn't have ta' worry 'bout my darlin' Lady Lily."
"Oh, you simply forgot that while I am the lady you so adore, I am also a twenty-first century woman. And I know karate."
"That's my girl."
"It certainly is."
The pirate and his lady left the restaurant arm in arm, as usual. The city streets were sunlit and Lily briefly wished she had a pocket for sunglasses in her dresses. She would have to see about the historical accuracy of the idea, but she felt she could work something out.
The End.
A/N: Not bad, huh? Well, I liked it anyway- and mine's the opinion we're gonna be listening to. Just kidding. Review if you agree with me, though. Thanks for answering my question, SlackerUK, and I hope you enjoyed this new and improved version.