[AN: I own nothing. Not too sure about this one, I'll be perfectly honest. Please let me know what you think, and as always, be kind to one another.]
It had been a long five weeks living with Voight, but Erin understood why it had been necessary. The good influence of Voight once again replaced the poor one of Bunny, who Erin had, hopefully for the last time, managed to make a clean break from.
It didn't happen overnight, but Erin finally found herself able to stand on her own two feet again. She felt strong and could see clearly. Thanks to her sessions with Dr. Charles, the nightmares had finally stopped. The thick fog that had been suffocating her for weeks was lifted. What happened to Nadia was a tragedy, but not one caused by Erin. She understood that now. The only fate Erin was in control of was her own. Which is why she found herself pulling into the familiar parking spot at her apartment, ready to regain the life she had put on pause for the past few months.
"Took you long enough." Her partner's voice startled her as she climbed out of the car. "Don't look so surprised. Did you really think I'd let you have all the fun of unpacking by yourself?"
"You might want to run while you can." Erin began as she walked around to her trunk, "I haven't been here in weeks. I could only imagine the state Bunny left it in."
"I'll take my chances." He replied with a smile so sincere Erin knew she would not be able to change his mind.
Jay had this unwavering ability to be knee deep in the murk and gloom of her life and still look at her as though she hung the moon and stars. Erin had been convinced that there was something he knew that she didn't – a joke she hadn't been let in on. How could someone like Jay witness skeleton after skeleton pour from her closet and still look at her that way, with that smile?
Sure, Erin knew she was good looking. She had been earning lingering stares from men since she was 12. But that couldn't be it. Hell, the number of stares Jay earned from the opposite sex greatly surpassed the ones leveled at her. Erin knew that if Jay wanted his options would be limitless. And even though Jay was helplessly unaware of the effect he had on women, he wasn't dumb. He could be anywhere else today with anyone. Yet, here he stood in navy blue basketball shorts and a plain white undershirt, with his signature black zip up laying across his shoulders like a second skin hiding the muscles Erin yearned to see. A boyish grin juxtaposed on his masculine frame. Waiting eagerly to help clean up another one of her messes.
Erin Lindsey couldn't be that good looking. Couldn't be that good in bed to deserve the look shining across the dim parking garage on this wet October morning. There had to be more to it than that. Dr. Charles liked to use phrases of unconditional feelings when her partner's name came up during their sessions. The phrase made Erin's heart swell in a way that made her feel undeserving and high at the same time. Higher than any drug she had ever tried.
"Well, in that case, you can take the heavy suitcase." Erin grunted as she lifted the large black bag from her trunk, willing the thoughts that filled her mind to stop. If things had been different they could have been his bags that they were moving in together that day. They could have been spending the day bickering over storage and decorations and sides of the bed. Instead they would be throwing away empty bottles, flushing left over pills, and ignoring the fact that the last time he had been there she had been with another man.
"For you, I'll take all the suitcases." Jay effortlessly slung the heavy bag over his shoulder and made a move for the other two.
"Show off." Erin pretended to be bothered as she reached up to shut the trunk before making her way to the entrance of her building. Her nerves grew as she moved through the familiar halls; she hadn't been back in weeks and had only just recently thought of sending someone over to change the locks. Bunny had been furious when Erin cut her off, furious and hurt – a horrible combination for her notoriously vengeful mother.
"How bad could it be?" Jay asked, seemingly reading her mind.
"You don't know Bunny." She softly replied as she stared at the door.
"That's why you have back up, right?" Jay joked before confidently taking the keys from her hand and unlocking the door, nudging her into the apartment.
The smell of alcohol, musk, and smoke nearly took Erin's breath away. Bunny clearly had a 'fuck you' party before leaving. Empty bottles and trash littered the apartment. Her television was gone, along with the other electronics that had previously filled the space. Erin could guarantee that her bedroom was ransacked as well, not that she had much of value. The furniture was destroyed; stains and burn marks covered every surface. Pictures that were once hung nicely on the walls were now cracked into pieces on the floor.
"Shit." Jay's voice pulled Erin from her thoughts.
"That's Bunny." Erin responded as she moved into her kitchen to grab a garbage bag, "You seriously don't have to spend your first day off in weeks cleaning up my mess. I'll call you later."
"When are you going to figure out that you can't get rid of me?" Jay teased while grabbing another bag from the box, "I happen to enjoy cleaning."
Erin instantly wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head into his chest, willing all the thoughts left unsaid to be heard through the embrace, "Thanks." She whispered before quickly letting go to begin to collect the bottles that were strewed across her counter.
"Anything for you." The words escaped his lips, barely above a whisper. Erin didn't let on that she heard it, but she did. And she felt the same way. There wasn't a thing in this world she wouldn't do for Jay- except effortlessly letting him know how deeply she felt. Jay could talk about his feelings like he could the weather. He could talk about their future as easily as he could the fact that it was Sunday. But she was working on it. She would get there – she was sure of it.
"I'm going to open all the windows, get some fresh air in here. Let me know if you get cold." Erin lamely offered instead.
The pair moved around the apartment in silence filling bag after bag with trash. Their teamwork once again proved to be effective, as they had the place relatively clean after about an hour. Jay returned from carrying the last of the bags to the garbage shoot when Erin greeted him with a beer. "The lock change must have caught her off guard, there's no way she would leave a fridge full of beer behind."
"Thanks." Jay took a long pull from the bottle while surveying the apartment, "All that's left is some vacuuming and laundry."
"I'll vacuum. Why don't you take a break?" She commanded more than questioned as she moved towards her laundry closet where she kept the vacuum.
"I'll strip the bed." He responded, clearly ignoring her orders. "At least its still in one piece." His voice called over the vacuum as he walked through the room, arms full of her comforter and sheets.
"That's about all she left." She called back, continuing to clean the floors of the apartment. There was something about vacuuming that Erin had always enjoyed. She found the act peaceful, and quickly lost herself in the movements.
Once she was satisfied with her work she turned off the machine and knelt to roll up the cord. As she stood she looked up to find her partner leaning against the wall, a mischievous grin covering his face.
"Go shopping recently?" Jay questioned as he swung a black lace bra by its straps on his finger.
"That's Bunny's." She flatly answered, causing his face and the bra to drop to the floor. "I'm just kidding, what makes you think you've seen all I've got, Halstead?"
"That was mean." Jay commented as he bent down to pick up the article of clothing.
"Serves you right." Erin laughed as she moved past him with the vacuum, the sad look on his face pulling slightly at her heartstrings. "Don't look so sad, Halstead, yes its new, you're the first to see it."
"I don't know." Jay began, the boyish grin instantly returning to his face, "I might need to see it on, for proof that it does belong to you."
Erin wished she could talk about her feelings with Jay as easily as she could flirt with him. "When did you get so pervie?" Erin teased as she reached for the bra.
"Just doing thorough detective work." He responded, pretending to assess the article of clothing against her chest.
"How can you do that?" Erin asked seriously, fighting a shiver as the coldness of the room became apparent.
"Well, ideally you would need to…" Jay began.
"Not that, how can you do this. Pretend like nothing happened. Like you didn't see him here." Erin hated herself for breaking the lightness of the moment, but couldn't help herself. If they were ever going to be back to normal they had to discuss it, the elephant in the room could no longer be avoided.
"I can do that because it's not important to me." He sincerely answered before removing his sweatshirt and sliding it over her shoulders.
"I'm sure there were other girls, and its ok. But, I'm sorry you had to see what you saw." Erin stammered, instantly feeling overwhelmed by the warmth and smell of his sweatshirt. He was everywhere. He flooded her senses and she struggled to steady her words and thoughts. "I only – we only. Landon and I only did that once and it wasn't here. He slept here a few times but it was only about getting a fix. So I would understand if there were other girls. I am in no place to judge."
"There weren't other girls. I mean there were opportunities and I thought about it, but no – there's no other girls. Not when there is you."
"How do you do that?" Erin repeated again.
"Because it doesn't matter." Jay responded, fully understanding the question this time.
"Yes it does. You deserved better. You still do." She leaned against the wall, needing the support. The conversation wasn't one she looked forward to, but one that needed to occur.
"I'm where I want to be, doing what I want to do." He leaned against the wall across her, eyes never leaving hers.
"You have a thing for damaged girls? Knight and shining armor complex?" Erin half-joked.
"I have a thing for my partner." Jay effortlessly replied.
"Stop, Jay."
"You asked. So I answered. I have a thing for my partner, who I thought I had lost. Which nearly killed me. So now, where I want to be is with her. What I want to be doing is anything that she is doing. Its really as simple as that."
"You say it like its nothing." Erin fumbled with the strings from his sweatshirt, "Its Sunday, I want to be with you."
"Its not hard for me to say things that are true." Jay took her hand in his and offered a wide smile, "What's hard is not saying it all. I'm actually showing great restraint over here."
"Still scared of Voight?" Erin offered, avoiding the implications of his statement.
"Voight doesn't care anymore." The look Jay gave told Erin this was not an assumption, but a fact.
"Then what is the problem?" Her voice dropped to a whisper as her eyes fell to the ground.
"There is no problem." His free hand found her cheek and lifted her eyes to meet his, "You're back. We are good."
"But you're not saying it all?"
"I'll say it all when you're ready to hear it."
"What if I am ready to hear it?" Her hand began to play with the hem of his shirt, enjoying the feelings of his muscles contracting at her touch.
"I love you. Isn't that obvious?" He laughed, clearly releasing a weight from his chest. "It's Sunday and I want to be with you. It's Sunday and I love you. It's Sunday and there is no place I'd rather be than right here with you."
"It's Sunday." Erin repeated with a small grin.
"It's Sunday." Jay affirmed as the two stood in silence.
"It's Sunday for me too. Even though I don't say it. I still feel it, it's just not as easy for me." Erin meekly offered.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Erin. I know you better than I know myself."
"And its still Sunday?"
"You're damn right its still Sunday." He laughed pulling her tightly into a hug. The pair stood in each other's arms in silence before Erin spoke up.
"I need a new couch."
"That you do. I don't think we can save it." Jay agreed not releasing her from his hold.
"Help me find one?" Erin questioned
"I thought you hated my taste in furniture." He teased in return, remembering all the times Erin made her opinion of his interior design skills known.
"Oh, I do." She confirmed moving into the kitchen to find some food to eat.
"Well.." Jay began as he followed her into the kitchen, "since my taste is so awful and I have perfectly good furniture at my place..."
"That's being generous." Erin interjected, offering him another beer.
"What's wrong with my furniture?" Jay took the beer and leaned against the counter.
"There's nothing wrong with it, I guess. You're just in need of a woman's touch." Erin explained as she reached for his beer and took a sip.
"Oh I'm definitely in need of your touch – I won't deny that." A mischievous look filled his face as he watched her drink his beer. "I'm pretty sure you got that for me."
"You need a touch, I need a taste." Erin teased before handing Jay back his beer, "but back to the furniture. Most couches, well. Most couches tend to last a long time, unless Bunny has any say that is. But this couch, the new one, it will be around for a long time."
"Ok?" Jay questioned as he took a pull from his, now their, drink.
"And well, seeing how it's Sunday. And it's set to be Sunday for a long time. I think that you should help me find a couch. That we should find a couch that we can spend our Sundays on together, you know for when everyday is a Sunday." Erin explained before she could doubt herself.
"There is nothing I'd love more to spend every Sunday on a couch with you." Jay didn't even bother to hide the goofy grin that over took his face.
"It's Sunday." Erin repeated, her grin matching Jay's.
"And I love you."
The End.