Good Cop yawned and rolled out of bed. "Good morning," he said, stretching. The clock on the wall said 9:22. "You let me sleep in again."
There was no reply.
Good Cop prodded at the back of his mind and felt Bad Cop stir grumpily. Still there.
Dirty laundry was scattered across the floor. He kicked a couple of shirts out of his way, not bothering to pick them up, and started their morning exercise routine.
Good Cop was sloppy. He barely left the floor when he did the jumping jacks, rocked wildly as he did the sit-ups, and hardly moved at all for the push-ups, essentially just bobbing rapidly at the shoulders. Bad Cop didn't correct his form. He didn't think Bad Cop had even noticed.
Good Cop debated doing the exercises again, properly this time. It had been a couple of weeks since he had actually gotten anything out of a workout, and Bad Cop hadn't said anything about it. This tactic wasn't working.
Good Cop decided against redoing the workout.
"It's been nearly a month, you know. Ma and Pa are starting to really worry about you."
He felt a twinge of guilt from Bad Cop. "They've forgiven you," Good Cop said. He'd been saying that a lot. "I don't know how many times they've told us." He opened the bedroom door quietly, not wanting anyone to know he was awake just yet, and headed for the bathroom.
He'd taken down the mirror that used to hang over the sink. Good Cop had expected Bad Cop to try to stop him, and had been almost relieved when there'd been no response. He'd seen his reflection exactly once since Taco Tuesday. He wasn't ready to see it again. Not yet.
Good Cop grabbed his toothbrush and made one last remark to Bad Cop while he could still speak clearly. "I think they're beating themselves up just as much as you are over the whole thing—"
He heard the muffled sound of the front door slamming and the even fainter sound of it clicking open again and immediately became alert.
"I don't know if you got the memo, but I'm good now! So let's try this again—"
"You are not welcome in this house," he heard his mother say.
"And I get that! I completely understand why you feel that way, I just want to—"
Good Cop froze.
Business.
Good Cop shrank back automatically and Bad Cop swiveled around. He took a second to breathe and reacquaint himself with their body, then dropped the toothbrush and stepped out of the bathroom into the hallway—
We're not in uniform!
"Darn!" Bad Cop muttered, suddenly feeling horribly exposed. He dashed back to their room and began rooting through his closet. Neither of them wanted to face Business in their pajamas. He found their Super-Secret Police jacket on the floor where Good Cop had thrown it and hurriedly pulled it over his head.
Helmet, we'll need our helmet—what did I do with it?!
It had been a long time since he'd had to deal with a frightened Good Cop in the back of his head. Bad Cop looked up, ignoring the unexpected pain in his neck. It had been a long time since he'd had to deal with his body, too. Their helmet wasn't in its usual spot on its shelf. Good Cop hadn't put anything in its usual spot, he thought irritably.
He turned around to scan the room and realized he was already wearing the helmet. "Did you sleep in this?" he muttered, pulling it down tighter on his head as he rushed back down the hallway.
…Yes, Good Cop replied. I didn't feel—you were barely here and… it's not that uncomfortable.
That explained the crick in their neck.
"Sorry." It came out gruffer than Bad Cop meant it to. He shouldn't have slipped away like that. He could make a proper apology once Business was gone.
He rounded the corner and saw his mother pressed up against the door. His father was leaning out the window, saying, "You know, trying to force your way into someone's house isn't the best way to establish your good intentions." They shouldn't be talking to Business, they shouldn't be anywhere near Business—
Bad Cop put his hand on his mother's shoulder. She jumped and spun around. "It's all right, Mummy," he said, trying to smile comfortingly, "I'll handle this."
Her eyebrows shot up with momentary surprise when she realized who was talking, then creased with worry. "Oh, son—you… you don't have to," she said, and grabbed his hand.
He shook his head slightly and squeezed past her, pulling out of her grip. Before she could stop him, he sidestepped her, slipped through the door, and bumped straight into Business.
"Sorry, sir," Bad Cop said, tensing.
Business straightened his hair piece and took a step forward. "Bad Cop! I heard you hadn't been… out in a while!" He smiled broadly. "How, uh, how are you?"
"Fine, sir." Good Cop had gone very quiet in the back of their head.
Business's gaze flicked to the window. Bad Cop didn't dare take his eyes off his boss, but he was certain his parents were watching the exchange like hawks.
Business cleared his throat. "That's great," he said, tapping his hands together, "Really good to hear."
Something was off. Business was never this fidgety.
Good Cop was never this silent. He normally shrank away when they met with Business, but some of his thoughts would still drift over to Bad Cop. This was like he'd vanished. Again.
Bad Cop forced himself off that train of thought. He had to focus. He could feel his parents' eyes boring into him. Nothing about this visit was normal. It shouldn't be happening here; it shouldn't be happening at all. He could feel panic rising in his chest, but he shoved it down and kept his face expressionless.
Good Cop was trying to compose himself. It was easier to think, now that he could block himself off from the world. He'd known he'd have to see Business again eventually. He'd rehearsed the confrontation in his mind dozens of different ways over the past three weeks. But he wasn't ready. He was never ready for Business.
He was weak.
No, no, Business always did this to him. He felt a tiny spark of anger ignite inside him and quickly clamped down on it before Bad Cop could pick it up.
"Anyway," Business said. "This might not be the best time, but since there probably never will be a best time, I'm here because there are… some things..." His smile faltered for a second. "…that we need to talk about."
Without warning, Good Cop switched in and punched Business in the face.
He fell flat on his back and lay there, struggling to recover his wind.
No! No, Good, I'll handle this, let me back in, I was handling him! Bad Cop managed to set their head spinning again in his panic, but Good Cop hastily regained control and forced Bad Cop to the back.
I need to do this.
No! No, you don't! This is what I'm here for, just let me—
"Okay," Business gasped, sitting up, "I deserved that." He adjusted his hair, which had been knocked off center, and looked back up. "Good Cop!"
"I think you're completely right, sir," Good Cop said, smiling as pleasantly as he could manage with his scribbled-on mouth. "Let's talk."
Business hadn't been expecting him to switch in. Good Cop never switched in to talk to him voluntarily. "…Oh?" he said after a moment. "Well, that is what I came here for, Good Cop, so… uh, let's have at it!"
Good Cop wished he'd stop smiling. Business smiling was never a good sign.
"Actually, no, wait," Business said quickly. The grin faded from his face, to Good Cop's minor relief. "There's something I want—something I need to say first."
Good Cop's pulse quickened, which was rather impressive considering how fast it was going already. Bad Cop clamored even louder for him to switch out. "Go ahead, then, sir," Good Cop said, and crossed his arms as well as his fixed elbows would allow him to. Suddenly, he was grateful that his new face wasn't as expressive as his old one. Maybe his fear wouldn't show.
"All right," Business said. He stood up, slowly, and brushed himself off even though he hadn't gotten noticeably dirty. "I needed to apologize for, ah… for what I did. To you. For everything."
Good Cop kept his expression still, locked in a smile, and watched Business's face turn red. This was new. He didn't trust it.
"So… I'm sorry. I really am. I've done a lot of horrible, terrible things, and some of them I can undo or take back or fix somehow. What I did to you… isn't one of those things." Business rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and glanced at the window, then dropped his gaze to the ground. "I'm sorry, Good Cop. And I know this won't fix it. At all. But I had to at least try to… atone somehow, or make a start, or… something. And that's why I'm here," he finished, meeting Good Cop's eyes.
Good Cop broadened his smile a little. "Is that so, sir?"
"Most of it—" Business began.
Good Cop cut him off, keeping his tone light. "Because that's all well and good, but I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, sir!" Business's eyes widened with alarm, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Good Cop pressed on. "I'm not the one you took everything from! I'm not the one who stayed loyal to you after everything you did—a-after you left him completely alone!"
I'm the one who had doubts but never had the guts to act on them.
Don't act like you were so much worse than me, Bad Cop said, breaking off his frantic attempts to switch. Good Cop hadn't meant for him to hear that thought. We both had our doubts. We did it together.
His nerves were getting to him, but Good Cop still had one more thing he had to say. He continued, speaking more rapidly. "You know, he hasn't shown his face in weeks but you show up and out he comes! Because that's what he's supposed to do, that's his job!" He upped the sweetness of his voice. "You found the one person in the entire universe who could give you the perfection you wanted, and you threw him away."
Bad Cop snatched control from him the second he got the last word out. He must have dropped his guard to focus on his delivery. No, you—you shouldn't have to deal with this! This was all me! Switch back! Good Cop strained furiously to spin back around, but Bad Cop was firm.
"You're—he's—" Business shook his head. "Good Cop—you're right, but you deserve an apology too, okay? That's why I'm here! Bad Cop, I was horrible to you. Both of you." He glanced at the window. "All of you. And I get that this probably seems like a really, uh, sudden change, 'cause it is, but I really do mean it when I say I'm sorry."
Bad Cop nodded. It seemed like the safest way to respond.
"And—you don't have to accept it, or forgive me, or anything like that." Business reached out as if to put his hand on Bad Cop's shoulder, but thought better of it and awkwardly lowered his arm to his side again. "I know it'll take more than words to prove that I'm committed to this being better thing. It'll take actions—my actions—and time. I get that."
"That's good, sir." Good Cop had stopped yelling in the back of his head. It made it easier to talk.
"Yeah. Yeah… I'm glad you think so." Business considered asking Bad Cop flat out if he accepted the apology or not. It would feel really good to get past that hurdle—but no. He had to mean what he was saying. He did mean what he was saying. This wasn't supposed to be about his own feelings.
And if he really didn't mean it right now, he'd just have to fake it until he made it. He wanted to mean it.
"And, uh, since I'm here," Business said, and immediately wished he'd changed topics more smoothly. "I was… wondering how you would feel about having your old job back. Or—not your old job, not chief of the Super Secret Police, but chief of the Bricksburg police."
He can't be serious, Good Cop said. The people know what we did now! He's smarter than that.
"It might not actually happen, 'cause nothing's certain at this point," Business added quickly. "It looks like I'll be staying President, or mayor, or whatever—nobody else seems to want the job, really—but we're not sure. Everything's pretty chaotic at this point." He suppressed a shudder. "And the thing is… we're trying to make something new, here. The chaos isn't going anywhere, but it's gotta be controlled chaos, if that's possible.
"And you—the two of you—you're the best officer I know." Business let his gaze drop to the ground and shuffled his feet. "That's why I, uh, picked you guys in the first place. If anyone can control chaos…" He cleared his throat. "So you wouldn't be committing to anything, but I wanted to know how you'd feel about that. Being police chief again, like old ti-not like old times! At all! I swear!"
There was a soft click behind Bad Cop, and his parents squeezed out onto the step. There really wasn't enough room for them, but they managed anyway.
Business's eyes widened, and he said quickly, "Everything I said before applies to you two, too, you know—uh, not the job offer, of course, but pretty much everything else. I was horrible, I'm apologizing, you don't have to accept it—all that!"
Pa Cop nodded in acknowledgement. Ma Cop turned to Bad Cop, ignoring Business as best as she could, and said, "I think… it could be good for you. Give you a reason to come out into the world again."
Bad Cop noted that there was no way to escape now that it was so crowded. There wasn't room to open the door anymore, and Business was blocking their only other exit. But escape hadn't been an option for more than eight years now. There was a reluctant twinge of agreement from Good Cop before he continued examining the offer.
People really won't want to see us policing again, but… I think she's right, Good Cop said. I'm open to it. I'd…like to try to fix things, but there are plenty of ways to do that. It's your call.
You're sure? We don't have to decide now. Despite his instinctive wariness, Bad Cop found himself longing to be working again, and policing was what he was best at.
Yes. Business…really is trying. I know how I feel, but I'm adjusting. You're the one who's been hiding away from everything, Good Cop said, gently. If you think it would help, or hurt… again, it's your call. But you're right, we don't have to make our mind up now.
Bad Cop looked at Business.
Before he could say anything, Good Cop quickly added, You could punch him too, you know. Really make things even.
The corner of Bad Cop's mouth quirked up at the thought. Still looking directly at Business, he said, "I'd like that."
"Really?" Business tried not to look taken aback and failed. "Well, great! Amazing! Awesome, even! I'll just, uh, head back and let the other planning people know and we'll keep trying to figure out how this thing is gonna work, then."
He turned to leave, then paused and looked back. "You know, uh, Good Cop got that punch in, and I guess it would only be fair if you wanted…" He let the sentence trail off, regretting it.
Bad Cop considered the idea some more, fully smiling now despite the anxiety that came with it, and said, "I'm good. Thank you, though."
He thought he heard Business sigh with relief as the man walked back to his limousine, parked in the driveway that was just a bit too short for it.
Ma Cop grabbed him in a hug, startling him as he watched to make sure Business drove away. Once his limousine was out of sight, Bad Cop leaned into her. Pa moved over and joined in.
"Please stay," Ma said into his shoulder. "We don't want to lose you."
"I'm not going anywhere this time," Bad Cop said. Good Cop's happiness and relief glowed warmly in the back of his mind. "Don't worry."
"We always worry," his parents said in unison, and hugged him tighter.
