1993:
Darius tried to appear calm as he sat at his desk and waited for his doom to arrive. He knew that they would be coming any minute now. The thing was, he really had to take a leak.
It was funny, the things that came to you when you knew you were about to die.
Sighing, he did his best to hold it since he didn't want to be beheaded while using the can.
The thing was, he really had to take a leak.
Groaning, he got up and made his way to the bathroom that for some strange reason the parishioners had pretty much been unable to find since it was first installed at the beginning of the century. He couldn't count the number of times he'd been forced to give someone detailed directions to the toilet.
Just as the door closed behind him, James Horton and his men entered the church.
"We can't find him anywhere!" one of the hunters said after the men had torn the church apart, searching for the immortal priest.
"He must have gotten wind of our arrival and fled." Horton said.
"There's someone coming!" one of the men who were serving as lookout yelled.
"Alright everybody, let's get out of here." Horton said. "We can take care of Darius later."
After finishing his business, which had included hanging around the bathroom waiting to be discovered as his church was being ransacked by the sound of it, Darius slid out of the bathroom and sighed at the mess Horton and his men had made of his church. It was going to take forever to clean up.
"Father?" a tremulous voice querulously asked.
"I'll be with you in a moment madame Baptiste." he said as he started putting the altar to rights.
Some people had no respect.
2013:
"So, tell me again, how did you survive?" a slightly drunken Methos who was sprawled out on the couch in the rectory asked.
Sighing, Darius once again launched into the narrative of his survival on the day the Hunters had come. He'd told that story over a thousand times in the last twenty years, and his listeners had yet to tire of it. It was seriously starting to get to the point where if he had to do it all over again, he would have stepped out of the bathroom the instant he was done peeing, the consequences be damned.