Hello everyone !

It has been quite a while since I posted anything in English, but here I am in a new fandom! This is the first fic I wrote for X-Men in english, which is still not my native language, so please forgive the possible mistakes.

This story is a birthday gift for my dear Elizabeth Mary Holmes. Happy birthday, love, I hope you're going to like it!

Thanks Nalou for betaing this. What would I do without you?

Anyway, enjoy!

oOo

— 1931 —

At precisely half past seven, Charles steps outside the door and jumps the three steps, smiling.

"Hi, Erik", he says as he gives him something covered by a paper napkin.

Erik opens the small package and nods. It's a cinnamon roll today, and Sarah's sticky icing runs over his fingers. He licks it with a small pleased sigh, finally acknowledging how hungry he is.

"Hi, Charles", he answers as they start walking.

The school is not very far, and they get there in a handful of minutes. The gate isn't open yet, and they eat their pastries in a companionable silence as they wait.

Erik doesn't exactly remember how this all started. It just... happened, somehow. One morning he went to school alone, cold and hungry, and the next day Charles was there, offering him half of a muffin and telling him how he had lost a tooth the evening before.

It was only a few days before Charles gave him a whole cookie with chocolate chips on top, only shrugging to Erik's puzzled look.

"I asked Sarah if she could make two of them. It only seems fair, since there's two of us", he said.

Sarah. The Xaviers' maid, Erik now knows. A kind young woman whom he likes a lot. Anyway, it probably wasn't so smooth in reality, but that is how Erik remembers the beginning of their friendship. And he never wants it to end.

Charles is so precious to him. Never judging him when he comes with ripped clothing because he has nothing else. Never complaining that Erik's home is so much smaller than his, and that his mom has no maid to make delicious pastries. Not that Edie doesn't know how to cook, but she can't afford all that much food. And Charles is always so polite when he comes. Bringing cake for Erik's birthdays, or giving Erik a few pence to buy his mom flowers now and then.

But much more than that, Charles is wonderful. He's funny and witty, always smiling till his bright blue eyes shine with joy. He's the best friend Erik could hope for.

And it's years before their friendship is threatened for the first time.

— 1936 —

Charles steps outside, but today he goes down the three steps slowly, his head down, instead of jumping. His hands are empty for the first time, and they shake as he holds back his tears. He's twelve now, he just can't afford to cry in the middle of the street. Even less so in front of now thirteen-year-old-Erik. He should be so happy. It's the last day of school before summer break – the best day of the year. But happiness is the last thing he feels, and his friend already looks suspicious, so Charles talks before Erik can ask what's wrong.

"I'm sorry I don't have anything to give you today, Erik. Sarah has gone home to her family." His voice cracks a bit as he continues. "She asked me to say goodbye to you for her."

Charles knows Erik is quite fond of Sarah. But she'll still be in London anyway, and she promised she would visit him and Edie every now and then. It's not the worst news Charles has to announce this morning, but he's not ready for what comes next. He doesn't want to say it. Maybe if he never says it, it won't happen.

But Erik is arching his brows in surprise, and Charles knows he won't be able to keep it a secret.

"What happened? Is she all right?"

"She's fine, although she didn't leave willingly. She's been dismissed..." Charles manages to say before he has to stop. He hardly breathes. He's going to end up crying anyway.

Erik stops walking and turns to him, grabbing his shoulders to force their gazes to meet.

"Charles, what happened? Tell me everything. You're the worst liar I know, and I can see you're hiding something. Just say it!"

Charles swallows. He feels the tears trickling down his cheeks now, and he hates it. He doesn't want his friend to feel sad, too.

"Erik, I, I... They only told me yesterday night, I promise, otherwise I would have told you earlier. Oh, I wish it wasn't true, I can't... Erik, my stepfather has found a new job in New York. He's taking Mummy and I with him. I'm leaving to America tomorrow!" he half-shouts in a broken voice.

Erik freezes, wide-eyed and gaping.

"America", he deadpans, baffled.

"America", Charles nods. "The other side of the Atlantic Ocean."

The consequences hang in the air between them. There's nothing left to say. Charles feels like Doomsday is upon his life, and he can do nothing to change his fate. Erik's brow is furrowed, his usually playful gaze turning to storm.

"Why is he not going alone? It's not like he cares about you or your mum", he finally says.

Charles' family problems aren't a secret to Erik. Charles shakes his head.

"But he cares about Mummy's money", he shrugs. "I'm pretty sure the only reason he doesn't leave me here is he has found no legitimate excuse to do so."

They have automatically walked to school, and they have to part to go to their respective classrooms. The bell rings as they cross the gate.

"See you during recess", says Erik.

Charles only nods. He's not crying anymore, but anything could trigger it again.

oOo

Erik doesn't listen. He's not even trying. The teacher scolds him twice, and calls him to his desk before recess.

"Lehnsherr, I have never seen you so careless and inattentive. I won't refer to the headmaster, since you're usually a serious pupil, but know that I will not tolerate this behaviour any longer, is that clear?"

Erik nods, looking at his feet.

"I'm sorry, sir."

"May I ask what is wrong? Have you had a problem at home?"

Erik hesitates. He's not sure he's supposed to tell, but his teacher is usually sympathetic, so he sighs.

"My best friend is leaving to America tomorrow."

"Oh." The teacher purses his lips. "I assume you're talking about Xavier. Oh please don't act surprised, everyone knows you two are thick as thieves. Well I truly am sorry for you both, but there's not much to do. You may go out now."

Erik thanks him and leaves the classroom. Charles is waiting for his just outside the door, looking concerned.

"Is everything okay, Erik?"

"I've been distracted this morning. Mr. Gibson wanted to know why. I'm afraid I had to tell him about you."

Charles gives him a sad smile.

"It's not a secret, Erik. There's no need to be sorry."

Erik shrugs. His classmates are playing football, but he doesn't feel like joining them today. Charles usually keeps scores, but he isn't too eager either, and they don't seem to be missed anyway, so they just go sit on a bench in silence.

The day goes on so slowly time must have stopped, but suddenly the bell rings again. To Erik it sounds like a death knell. He walks Charles home just as usual, but it feels wrong. It's the last time he walks this path, the last time he sees his best friend. Charles lingers on the doorstep.

"We'll write. I'll send you a letter as soon as I can. We'll stay in touch, as slow as post can be to fly overseas. And someday, I'll come back. I promise, Erik, someday I'll come back."

Erik nods. He doesn't cry. He just feels empty inside. Charles is his everyday joy, how is he supposed to feel anything but numb without him? From the inside of the house, a masculine voice calls.

"Father's here already, I have to go. Goodbye, Erik."

He feels the urge to hug Charles, but stops himself, and shakes the offered hand instead.

"Goodbye."

oOo

Dear Erik,

I'm sorry it took so long, but I'm finally settled in New York. The journey was terrible, what with Mummy being drunk half the time and sick the rest of it, and Father ignoring it. But we're here now, and Father just spends most of his time at work, even during weekends. I barely see him. Mummy is just as usual. Maybe the change of scenery was not enough to actually make her try to stop drinking in the end. Like I knew it wouldn't.

Anyway. The house is... It's not actually a house. Father bought an actual castle. It is huge, with I don't know how many rooms, and we have three maids and a cook. I don't know why though, since I'm the only one really eating here... I wish you could see it. You could totally live here with Edie and never get noticed!

We still have a normal letterbox, though, and you can write to me at the address on the back of the envelope.

I hope school is going to be okay. Summer is lonely without you. I hope you're doing all right. Greet your mum for me, please.

Bye,

Charles

oOo

Dear Charles,

I thought your letter would never come. I had no idea it would be so long... At least it allowed me to spare money for the stamp. It is really expensive to send anything overseas, even a simple letter.

Your new house sounds great. I hope the maids are as nice as Sarah was! Speaking of her, she came by two weeks ago. She brought cinnamon rolls and Mama made tea and we had a lovely afternoon. Sarah has found a new situation in London: she works at the bakery down the street half the week, and the other half she looks after an old lady near where you lived.

I wish you were here. School is going to be terrible without you.

Erik

oOo

Schoolyear starts again, and Charles falls into a new routine. It's weird to eat breakfast at home, in the ridiculously big kitchen – he's supposed to do that in the dining room, but like hell it's going to happen – Instead of eating on the way to school. Thankfully Mrs Harris, the cook, is almost as good a baker as Sarah, and she agreed to make cinnamon rolls. She even had Charles help her last Sunday, as his parents weren't there and he was left with nothing to do. He promised himself he would bake some for Erik someday.

Charles thinks of Erik every single day. The exchange letters about once a month, since the mail takes at least two weeks to cross the ocean and get from America to England, and same back. Knowing this doesn't stop Charles from checking the mailbox every day when he comes home from school.

Everyone told him he would make new friends very quickly and forget about the poor lad he left back, but it's rubbish. How could he forget Erik? How could he meet anyone even near as perfect?

He doesn't meet quite anyone, in fact. Boys at school are all posh, spoiled brats who don't give a damn about Charles. At home, apart from Mrs Harris and Nancy, one of the maids, there's no-one to talk to. Charles' mother is either drunk or asleep, and when his stepfather is not somewhere discussing business with clients and co-workers, he's locked in his office counting money.

So Charles feels lonely. Till one day.

— 1937 —

Dear Erik

,

I have the most exciting news: I have a sister! Oh well, I've sort of adopted myself a sister. I'm not sure my parents are aware of her being here. It's fine by us, since I don't know what they would say. At least the cook and maids promised not to tell. Father never checks who eats what anyway, and Mummy isn't in a state to do so either, so I guess it'll be some time before they even notice someone else is living here.

Anyway! Her name is Raven, she's ten but she's almost taller than me already (I've not grown since I left, so you could say it is not that hard to be taller than me), and she has the most beautiful blond hair. I caught her stealing food in the fridge the first time I saw her, and I just... suggested she stayed. She is a bit shy at first but we soon became close friends. I wish you could meet her; I'm sure you two would like each other a lot. She's just as sassy as you! And she's very sympathetic. She's an orphan, so she knows how it feels to lose someone.

Plus, if you met her, it would mean that we're together and that would be wonderful. I still miss you very much. I can't believe it has been only one year, it feels like I haven't seen you in centuries.

I really hope to see you soon. Take care of yourself and give your Mum a kiss for me.

Charles

oOo

When he reads the letter, Erik feels a pang of raw jealousy. Who is that girl, and who does she think she is to deserve to see Charles every day? While he can never even see him smile anymore? But the pain soon dulls as he reads Charles' next words. He misses him, too. Somehow, it relieves him to know Charles does miss him. And it's so very much like Charles to adopt a perfect stranger. It was the same thing that drove him to Erik when they met. Raven seems to help him feel less lonely, and for that Erik must thank her, despite the envy burning his heart.

So he answers cheerfully, because he knows Charles is happy about Raven, and because he wants Charles to be happy about him as well. Erik tells him about his mother, who has found a small job as a seamstress, and about Sarah's one-year-old who can say "Mama" now. He has nothing much to say about himself. He just turned sixteen, and when school ends he'll be able to look for a job as a mechanic or something. He knows Charles will go to university when he graduates high school, and do great things, but he just doesn't have the same taste for studying.

He also desperately needs money to feed his mother and himself, but he doesn't say a word about that, because Charles knows anyway and he doesn't want to dwell in useless complaints. It's not like Charles can help on that matter anymore. Erik doesn't talk about the rumours spreading across Europe, either; he feels that if he spreads them further, it will only accelerate their accomplishment.

There is something else he would like to talk about, but he doesn't dare yet. Erik knows, somehow, that his feelings for Charles are more than those of friends, but he's not sure in what way. Someday, it'll need to be out, but for now Erik is not ready. So he lets the idea lurk and grow in his mind, like a promise.

— 1939 —

Charles knows there is something unsaid hanging between them. It becomes clearer as time passes. Their letters have lost the cheerful innocence of youth. They have turned more... adult, in every sense. More mature, talking about studies and work, and about the world seeming on the verge of collapsing. The rumours have reached America even without Erik's help. But beyond the seriousness, there's something else, a flirty tone that makes their heart beat faster, but it's never openly said, keeping them on their toes. Soon Charles can't take it anymore.

But then the world actually collapses, war is declared between England and Germany, and everything gets so much more complicated.

And since years pass and nothing seems to get better, Charles finally says what needs to be said.

— 1943 —

Dear Erik,

Happy birthday? I know there's not a lot to rejoice about these days, but I still think a birthday should be something to enjoy. And I'm thinking of you. I even made cinnamon rolls in your honour.

I have something to tell you. I'm not sure it can count as a gift, although depending on your point of view… I'll try not to ramble too much.

I have no idea how to say this, but it's been a few years now and I can't keep it to myself anymore. Besides I think it's been on your mind, too, so I guess clearing the subject would be a good idea.

Damn, how do you actually say this in a letter? You'll only read this in two weeks… Anyway. Erik. We met thirteen years ago, and you've been my best friend ever since, no matter the distance. But more than that, you've been my confidant, you've always been there for me, even all the way across the Earth. And I think you've become even more precious than that to me.

Even though we've shared only letters these last seven years, I still miss you like the first day – no, this is not true. I miss you way more than the first day. Some days your absence is almost physically painful.

I'm just rambling now, so I'll just say it. It's only words after all, even if they mean so much.

I'm in love with you, Erik.

I'm not sure there's a point telling you, considering the distance between us, but I needed you to know. I hope – I dare hope to see you soon. I've been saving money to travel to England. When the time will be right…

Even if you don't love me back, I still want to see you again. I hope you do, too.

Take care of yourself, and kiss your mother for me.

Charles

oOo

When he reads Charles' birthday wishes, Erik understands that his friend forgot something about turning twenty nowadays.

Erik is now old enough for Charles to receive a letter from England that does not bear his writing.

oOo

My dear Charles,

This is a terrible day, and I am deeply sorry to have to tell you this. There's no easy way, so here it is: Erik has been enlisted.

I'm not even sure he'll be able to write to me, let alone send letters to America… He has received your last message, though. I don't know what you told him, but he seemed so very overwhelmed when he read it! I hope it was positive news, at least. He was allowed one personal item when he had to leave, and he's taken your letter.

There's not much to do but hope, so we'll cope as always.

There's a photo in the envelope, too. I've had it taken a few weeks before Erik's birthday, just like every year, and the photographer gave me several prints. I thought you would like to have one. He's grown so much since you left! I'm sure you're a handsome young man now, too. Even though you'll always be kids to me…

Take care of yourself, Charles. Thank you for always having been here for my boy.

Love,

Edie Lehnsherr

oOo

Charles does not even realize the envelope has fallen on the floor. He just holds the folded piece of paper and stares at it, mind blank. It takes a whole five minutes for him to snap back to reality and read the words again. And again. And again, to make sure he's not mistaken.

Erik, enlisted in the British Army. Almost sounds ironic for the child of German immigrants he is, but Charles can't even manage half a snicker. It feels unreal. Erik, enlisted in the British Army? No. Erik works at Mr. Mulligan's garage. He's fixing engines and tires and whatnot, not firing guns and getting shot at. Charles reads Edie's letter again, feeling the pain in the carefully-written words. She must be devastated, as brave as she sounds through her message.

It's at least the fifteenth time he reads it when the part about the photograph finally hits him, and he all but falls to his knees to grab the envelope and take the picture out. And then he just crumbles to tears as he sees his friend's face for the first time in seven years.

Erik is standing under a tree in the park near his house. Charles recognizes the place; they used to go there every single week. He recognizes Erik, too, despite the changes.

Erik looks very tall, still thin with square shoulders. He has the frame of an adult; the juvenile roundness in his features has disappeared, replaced by a strength showing in his posture. He stands very straight and looks right in front of him. And he smiles. God, Charles misses this shark-like manner Erik has of exposing two rows of teeth. And how beautiful he has become…

The photograph slips out of Charles fingers as he covers his face in both hands.

At least my last letter has reached you. I could not think of a better goodbye. When you come back, and you will come back, I'll be there, and I'll kiss you, Charles thinks.

The following day, Charles buys a nice wooden frame for the picture, and places it on the mantel of the fireplace, in the sitting room.

No one asks who it is, nor why, because only Raven still lives with him, and she already knows.

Charles thanks Edie for the letter and the photograph. He tries to appear as brave and confident as her, and pretty much fails. But it couldn't get any worse than that, he tells himself.

And then it does.

— 1944 —

Christmas is almost there when the letter arrives. The ink is smudged, the words trembling, and there are round spots across the paper. Even before he reads the actual words, Charles knows these aren't good news. Edie wouldn't have cried over good news.

So he carefully sits on his bed before reading. And then he collapses, deaf and blind and broken, as the words sink into him.

Erik had been taken prisoner. Edie has received an official letter of condolences. As if he were already d… Charles can't even think the word. No. There's no way…

He realises he's screaming when Raven bursts into his room, panicking.

"Charles! What the hell is going on?!"

He stops, partially because he's trying to understand what his sister just said, but mostly because his throat refuses to go on. So he just stays there, lying on his back and tears rolling on his temples and into his hair, rough sobs shaking his whole body.

"Erik…" he manages, his voice hoarse.

Raven sits beside him and helps him to straighten up. Then she hugs him, silent, until her shoulder is soaking with tears and Charles is still against her.

"What happened?" she asks in a very soft, very low voice.

Charles keeps his face in his sister's hair and breathes her delicate smell, trying to find comfort in her thin arms.

"Erik… he's been taken by the Germans. He's a war prisoner."

"He's alive then", Raven answers. "They don't kill prisoners, they trade them."

Charles lets out a manic laugh, and cranks his neck to look into the girl's eyes.

"He's Jewish, Raven. What do you think they'll do when they find out?"

Charles tries to phone London. He still knows the number of the post office near Edie's house. But the line is off. So he writes, and writes and writes again, but nothing ever comes back.

— 1945 —

The war is over. The whole world is celebrating, but the atmosphere is heavy with grief. Charles barely looks human, even with all the work he has to accomplish. At least it takes Erik off of his mind during the day. Raven helps at night, when he cries himself to sleep. She strokes his hair and whispers sweet nothings to him. When he finally falls asleep, she goes back to her own room.

They talk about Erik, sometimes. When all the kids are asleep and they stay alone in the kitchen, drinking scotch. Raven mostly listens, in fact. Charles just rambles on about his friend.

He knows Raven is concerned about him. He has lost a lot of weight. He has let his hair untamed and his uneven beard unshaved for months. He knows she thinks he shouldn't work that much, either, but it is the only thing capable of distracting him.

The framed picture is on Charles' bedside table now.

— 1947 —

When he enters the small hotel room again, Erik smiles to his mother.

"Did you find the place?" she quickly asks, getting up to take his hands.

He holds them and kisses her forehead.

"Yes, Mama. You'll never guess what he's done, though."

"Did you see him already?!" she jumps, but he shakes his head.

"No! I didn't dare to enter. But he's opened an orphanage. There's a metal plate by the gate, saying Charles Xavier's home for lost and lonely youngsters."

Edie laughs.

"This is so very like him. What are you still doing here, son? You've obviously found him. What are you waiting for?"

Erik sighs. He doesn't know. When he stood in front of Westchester Mansion's gate, he felt the urge to open it and just run to find Charles, but something held him back and he just left.

"I don't know, Mama. What if…"

"What if what?" interrupts Edie. "Erik, listen to me. I thought you were dead when I got this letter. I told Charles you had been taken."

"You told me that already, Mama."

"I know. But then London had to be evacuated, and I lost Charles' address. He hasn't heard from me since then. We had the luck to be reunited. Don't you think he deserves to know you're alive? Don't you want to see him, too?"

Erik nods.

"I do. I just don't know what is going to happen."

"Nothing bad can happen, love. You go there, and when you're quite done celebrating, take him back here so I can greet him, too."

Edie gestures toward the door.

"I love you, Mama." Erik says before he leaves.

oOo

Erik rings the doorbell, his heart pounding. He's seen a few kids in the front yard, but they didn't pay attention to him, and he was too focused to give them a second look. He hears quick footsteps coming from the inside of the house – Charles was right, it truly is a castle – and then the door opens.

It's a blonde, young woman in a purple dress who opens the door. She smiles at him.

"Hello, what can I do for…" she starts, and then her eyes widen and she covers her mouth with her hand, "You're… You're… No way!" She turns her head toward the stairs behind her and shouts, "Charles!", and back to Erik, "Oh my God!" and again she turns, "Charles! Come down right the hell now! CHARLES!"

Erik just stares, incapable of saying a single word. A few kids have come to see what the yelling is all about. And then someone goes heavily down the stairs, and a male voice answers.

"Raven, for God's sake, have you gone mad?!"

The voice is tired and a bit annoyed, but the young woman doesn't seem to care.

"Stop whining and hurry up, damn it!"

Then the man appears, and Erik stops breathing.

"Can you please wait a sodding second? I'm here, I'm-"

Charles stops talking like he just choke on his own words. Erik still can't breathe, even less speak, and everything goes to a halt. Erik has time to look at Charles, his shoulder-length hair, his unkempt beard, the dark circles under his eyes, his too-thin frame, and God, he looks awful but Erik still feels his eyes water with Charles' raw beauty.

And then Charles runs, and then Erik still can't breathe because he's holding Charles so tightly he might break ribs. Charles' arms are around his neck, and Charles' face is buried just under his jaw, and he's talking, "Erik", just that, "Erik", again and again, "Erik", a broken whisper, "Erik", and he can't seem to stop even if he's sobbing and choking on every breath, "Erik, Erik, Erik", until his voice refuses to continue.

Neither of them hear Raven shoo the kids out of the hall to leave them alone. They finally part – oh, barely, just enough to look at each other – and Charles is a mess, his eyes red and puffy and his cheeks damp with tears. Erik's not much better, but Charles cups his face in both his hands and offers him the most beautiful smile he has ever seen.

So Erik just leans forward and kisses him. He tastes the salt on both their lips, revels in the soft contact, and Charles all but melts against his torso. When they part again, Erik's voice is finally back. He presses his forehead against Charles' and looks right into his impossibly blue eyes.

"I never answered to that letter of yours", he whispers. "But I carried it every single day since I read it for the first time, and I still have it. And now I finally can tell you. I love you, too, Charles."

— 1953 —

Erik enters the kitchen and hums.

"Smells delicious, Mama", he says before he kisses his mother's cheek.

"Charles' recipe", she answers. "I'm making cinnamon rolls for tomorrow's breakfast."

"Where is he?"

"In his office, I think. He had paperwork to do, for Jenny and Mike's adoption."

Erik nods and smiles. Since Charles has employed Edie as a cook for the orphanage, she seems so happy and proud of them both Erik couldn't hope for more.

He lets her to the pastries and wanders off in the house. Raven is in the sitting room with a dozen of kids, reading a book, and she just winks at him before going back to her storytelling.

Charles is not in his office. Erik finds him in their shared bedroom, lost in thought. He slips his arms around Charles' waist and hugs him from behind, kissing his ear before looking at what Charles seems to observe with adoration. Two frames sit side by side on the mantelpiece.

One is a photograph of a young man standing under a tree.

The other one is an old, torn and tattered letter.

oOo

That's it! I hope you liked it. Leave me a review if you want to tell me what you thought of it, I'd very much like it!

Have a nice day :)

Flo'w