This story begins, like so many others, with an ominous cut scene from the viewpoint of the enemy that may not gain meaning until later sections. In this case, the source of the ominous-ness is one Lucius Malfoy, who comes before his master one day with a curious problem.
"My Lord," said Lucius. "I wish to seek your advice."
Voldemort nodded to indicate Lucius should continue.
"Well, my Lord, my son, Draco, is not looking forward to joining your ranks. He says that, well, Death Eaters have no fun."
"Of course we do!" cried Voldemort, incensed.
"I know, I know, my Lord. But the boy -"
"We must prove him wrong." Voldie interrupted. "We'll take him on a trip, to somewhere plenty of fun."
"An - an excellent idea, my Lord," said the flabbergasted Death Eater.
"I know; that's why it was mine. Now, Lucius, what is the happiest place on earth?"
"Do you mean, er, Disney World, my Lord?"
"Yes, yes, that's the place. Who else uses that slogan?"
"I don't know, my Lord."
"Yes, I rather thought you didn't. Well, make plans for a four-day trip, Lucius. We had best do this thing properly. Remember to get accommodations for both of us, and the boy. I have to go too so he gets the right bad example. And for the sake of all that is evil, have us stay on property. But in one of the cheap places."
"Yes, my Lord. I will."
"Get out now."
"Right." Lucius, somewhat shaken, realized he had forgotten the "my Lord" part as he retreated.
Now, as is the custom, we shall focus on our noble protagonists:
During his time at the Dursleys', before he had arrived at the Burrow, Harry Potter had come up with a plan. Like all good plans, it involved a bit of blackmail. He gathered up Ron, Hermione, and Ginny in Ron's bedroom, and then stood before them with a very authoritarian manner.
"I have decided," Harry began, "That I am taking you all on vacation."
"Harry, what are you talking about?" said Hermione, her forehead creased.
"What do you mean, taking us?" Ron asked.
Harry was unaffected. "I mean I'm taking you all on an all-expenses paid trip somewhere."
Ron paled. "Harry..."
"It's payback for staying at your house all these times," Harry went on relentlessly, ignoring all protests.
"Harry, you can't!" said Ron, more firmly now.
"You really can't, Harry," said the voice of reason - er - Hermione. "It's not safe."
"I can," said Harry defiantly. "I've gotten Dumbledore's permission already."
"Oh," Hermione murmured, and lapsed into thought.
"That doesn't matter anyway," said Ron. "Mum and Dad will never let you take us anywhere."
"They will if I have all of your support," said Harry.
"What makes you think we'll support you in this?" Ron retorted.
"I will!" said Ginny. Hermione still looked nervous, and Ron glared at his sister.
"You two will too," Harry added, glaring at Ron and Hermione.
"Why?"
"Because," said Harry levelly, "If you don't, I'll tell Ron's parents about the last day of school."
Ron and Hermione gasped. Ginny tried to hide her smile. Harry had woken up early that morning to find them both asleep on a couch in the Gryffindor common room, Ron's head lolling onto Hermione and Hermione's hand on Ron's chest.
"You wouldn't!" cried Ron in shock, but Hermione hissed "Don't push him, Ron!" and added to Harry, "Fine."
Harry grinned. Things had gone exactly to plan. "I thought you would agree," he said.
"Where are we going?" asked Hermione loudly, trying to drown out Ron's mutter of "sadistic git."
"Well," said Harry thoughtfully, "I was thinking, maybe, this place that Dudley's always wanted to go, but my aunt and uncle have never taken him, which is a big bonus." (AN: I know this is mildly accurate, having once met a Brit at Disney myself, while sitting out Kali River Rapids. Whether or not British people go to Disney World often, or why on earth they wouldn't go to Euro Disney, is beyond my knowledge.)
"Where?" said Ron blankly.
"Disney World" - breezily.
Without preamble, Ginny fell off of Ron's bed.
"What is it?" Ron asked, helping her back up.
"Disney World..." she murmured. "I've wanted to go since I was six."
"What on earth...?" said Ron.
"Well, I'll quote Fred and George. Ask no questions, I'll tell you no lies."
"Touché," said Ron.
"So..." said Harry. "Everyone agree on Disney World?"
"I guess it would be fun to go," Hermione said slowly.
"It's as good an idea as any," assented Ron, even though he still didn't know what Disney World was.
Nobody felt the need to ask Ginny for her approval.
"When are we springing the news on Ron's parents?" Hermione asked, grinning in spite of herself.
"Tomorrow morning," said Harry. "After I confirm the bookings. Just to make sure they don't ask to get out of it."
"Excellent," said Ginny. Hermione raised an eyebrow.
Harry sent an owl to the wizard travel agent he had been consorting with to confirm the bookings, and showed the others the brochures she had sent him. Everyone flicked through them, even the skeptical Ron, and discussed what they knew of the place. Ron and Harry started up a game of Exploding Snap and listened to Hermione and Ginny argue over which park they were going to go to in amusement. Finally Harry relented and confessed that they would be going to all of them - one each day over four days. Ginny stuck her tongue out at him, pretending to be mad at him for letting them debate for so long. After they had all been through the brochures so many times as to have memorized them (Ginny pretending it was the first time she'd seen them), Hermione and Ginny left for their bedroom and everyone went to bed, falling asleep amidst thoughts of what it would be like.
Harry awakened before Ron the next morning, and rolled out of bed quietly so as not to disturb him. Hedwig had returned from the travel agent as he slumbered, and she had a note from the travel agent that was basically inconsequential, merely confirming that the arrangements had been confirmed, or something of that nature. Now he took a fresh bit of parchment and wrote to Dumbledore, as the headmaster had encouraged him to do.
Dear Professor Dumbledore,
I've convinced Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. Breaking the news to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley later this morning. Everything is set to go. Just thought you'd want to know.
Harry sucked on his quill for a moment, a bad habit of his. It wasn't actually a sugar quill, so it left a funny taste in his mouth. Deciding he had nothing left to say, he concluded,
Thanks for the advice,
Harry
He rolled up the note, tied it with a loose thread from Ron's vibrant bedspread, and gave it to Hedwig, who hooted agreeably and flew away.
Thirty minutes later found Albus Dumbledore seated in his office. If he had known he was being watched, he would have immediately pretended to be reading or deep in thought, but as it was he had for some time now been doodling on a spare bit of parchment. He had just finished drawing a pair of elaborate sunglasses on the sun (appropriate, no?) when Hedwig landed on his desk. He took the note she carried and she flew over to a bookshelf on the wall opposite his desk to help herself to an Owl Treat. After Dumbledore had read Harry's note, he steepled his fingers and sat there for a long time. One would like to think that he was pondering how to defeat Voldemort, feed the hungry, get Snape to wash his hair, or something noble like that, but in fact he was merely formulating a great deal of plans that would result in a great deal of pissed off Severus Snape. But the unassuming headmaster didn't know that. Actually, he did. I should stop lying.
...Anyway.
After he had reached a conclusion, he told Hedwig that she could fly back to Harry, or rest in the Owlery, if she liked. She gave an appreciative hoot and nicked another owl treat on her way out.
He stood and walked over to his fireplace, where he knelt down. In turn, he Flooed his head into the fireplaces of the offices of Snape and McGonagall and told them to come to his office in two hours. Then he Flooed his head to Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, where breakfast was commencing spectacularly, and made a similar request of Nymphadora Tonks. All of this accomplished, he returned to his desk and proceeded to add more detail to the beams of his sun drawing.
Back at the Burrow, Harry walked back into Ron's room in a fresh t-shirt and jeans, having just showered. It was ten o'clock, an hour after Harry's awakening. Hedwig hadn't returned, having taken up Dumbledore on his offer of the Owlery, and so his only company was the still sleeping figure of Ron. It hurt Harry's eyes to look at him, as the bedspread and Ron's hair were still vying for the coveted Most Lurid Color in the Room Award. Harry had just resolved to wake him up when a tawny owl flew into the room with a package. As soon as Harry removed the cargo, the owl departed. He unwrapped the brown paper, blissfully unwary of things like letter bombs from Voldemort, and found three items inside: a note, an envelope, and an empty plastic cup with a lid and straw, such as one can find at a fast food restaurant. The note said:
Goodness, Harry, I almost forgot. This is your portkey. I've set it so that it won't activate at a certain time, but rather when all the members of your party touch it. It'll take you to a hotel in Orlando, and you'll have to take a bus to get into the park. I've put enough American Muggle money inside for bus fare, and after four days you'll be able to take it back to where you're staying. The other enclosure, the envelope, you should guard with your life. That's your reservation information to get into the hotel. Woe be unto you should you lose it. Good luck, and happy travels!
And there was the signature of his travel agent. Harry nervously stuck the note, portkey, and envelope in a drawer of Ron's dresser, apprehensive about carrying them around. Then he returned his attention to his previous task, and shook Ron's shoulder roughly.
"What do you mean, saw us asleep together in the common room?" Ron murmured sleepily, rolling over and away from Harry. Harry laughed out loud, causing Ron to roll back onto his back and blink his eyes open.
"What is it, mate?" he said slowly, eyeing Harry suspiciously as he sat up.
"Nothing," said Harry, still grinning, "Never mind."
"Well, let's go down to breakfast then," said Ron, looking unconvinced. He hastily got dressed and they went downstairs, where they found Hermione and Ginny halfway through breakfast.
"You know, Hermione," said Ron, sitting down next to her, "I don't think it's healthy, getting up so early."
"You just keep telling yourself that, Ron," replied Hermione, without any conviction behind her irritation, and it took about five seconds for the snit to be completely forgotten as Hermione asked Ginny to pass the butter. Harry was forcibly reminded of his first detention with Umbridge, when he had repeatedly cut his hand only to find that it instantly healed every time.
"So where're your mum and dad?" Harry asked Ginny, seating himself across from Ron.
"Dad had to meet someone in the Leaky Cauldron," said Ginny, "And Mum went along to pick up some odds and ends in Diagon Alley. We didn't have the heart to mention anything to them before you two got up," she added with a smirk.
"Thanks a bunch," said Ron sarcastically, loading some eggs onto his plate. "I don't much fancy informing Mum we're going on vacation, thanks."
"Your dad'll love it, though," said Harry, who was greatly looking forward to Mr. Weasley's reactions to all of the Muggle technology.
"Yeah," said Ron sourly, "You won't even have to blackmail him."
But Harry privately thought that Ron didn't really mean it.
Later, while they were still clearing away the plates from the kitchen table, the Weasleys Apparated into their living room.
"Oh, good," said Mrs. Weasley, as she entered the kitchen. "You ate breakfast."
Harry was always astounded by Mrs. Weasley's abounding appreciation of things like breakfast.
"Right," said Harry, putting the last plate next to the sink with the others and then sitting back down at the table with a pointed glance at Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, who all hastened to join him. Just then Mr. Weasley came in, smiling and cheerfully greeting the four of them.
"Um," said Harry loudly, as it was the only thing he could think of.
"What is it, Harry?" Mrs. Weasley said immediately.
"Nothing," said Harry, "Nothing serious. I would just like to, er, ask you something. Or tell you, really..."
Harry trailed off. Ginny gave him the "get a move on, it's not that difficult" look, and so he continued to beat around the bush spectacularly.
"Well," he said slowly, the eyes of everyone else upon him, "I discussed it with Dumbledore, and he thought it was a good idea...he said that he could put in place the proper security measures...and he thought that everyone needed the time to relax, too, while it's still summer..."
"I agree," Mr. Weasley said, "Everyone is uptight, and the school year hasn't even started yet."
"Yeah," said Harry, a little faster now, "Yeah, that's exactly what I thought...you know, everyone overstraining themselves a bit...so..."
The bush had been beaten till it could be beaten around no more. There was nothing for it.
"Vacation," he muttered.
Mrs. Weasley's face fell. "Oh Harry," she said sadly. "I wish we could go somewhere..."
"No," said Harry, seeing she had misunderstood. "We are. I'm taking you. Disney World."
"Certainly not," said Mrs. Weasley.
"I've already made reservations, and Dumbledore thinks it's a good idea," Harry said again.
Mrs. Weasley wasn't one to ignore Dumbledore's advice. She fell silent, as two conflicting forces inside her head tried to reconcile themselves. After a moment, Mr. Weasley was no longer able to contain his curiosity and asked, "What's Disney World?"
"It's in America," said Ginny promptly, before catching herself and letting Harry pick up where she left off. "It's a Muggle vacation place, one of the most popular, with shows and rides."
Mr. Weasley, however, had tuned out after the word "Muggle," his decision having been made.
"Molly?" he said pleadingly, turning to her.
She considered them all for a moment, clearly stalling for time.
"When would we leave?" she asked.
"Today, I was hoping," said Harry.
Mrs. Weasley didn't reply. "Please, mum?" said Ginny, after several more seconds.
"Oh..." said Mrs. Weasley, forehead wrinkled. "Oh, all right."
Everyone cheered, but Ginny and Arthur were the loudest.
"Okay," said Mrs. Weasley, taking charge. "We're leaving tonight at seven. Everyone pack, or do whatever you have to do. Arthur, contact the Ministry about your taking a vacation for -"
"Four days," Harry supplied.
"Excellent," Arthur beamed, and Disapparated. Mrs. Weasley smiled reluctantly at his enthusiasm.
"One more thing," said Harry. "Everyone needs to pack cool clothes, shorts and short sleeves, you know. It's really hot there."
"We're going to go pack," announced Ginny, and pulled Hermione out of the room.
Harry and Ron left to pack as well, lacking a better idea.
Up in Ginny's room, Ginny and Hermione decided to share a trunk since it was a short trip. Ginny packed in some clothes and then left to get her shampoo and conditioner from the bathroom. While she was gone, Hermione started putting in some of her clothing - clingy button-down shirts, turtlenecks, jeans - "WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?"
Ginny had returned and was staring horrorstruck at the latest additions to the trunk.
"Packing." - mildly.
"Hermione, you'll burn to death in those things! Don't you have any tank tops, shorts, capris, t-shirts, anything?"
"No," said Hermione blankly.
"Get your wallet, Hermione," said Ginny grimly. "We need to go shopping."
Hermione extricated her money from the trunk and with that, Ginny seized her arm and pulled her downstairs. Upon arriving in the kitchen, they found Mrs. Weasley washing up the last of the breakfast dishes.
"Mum," Ginny said, "Can we go shopping? Only Hermione doesn't have any cool clothes."
"I have some short-sleeved button downs!" protested Hermione.
"School uniform is never comfortable," replied Ginny solidly. "So can we, mum?"
Mrs. Weasley turned to face the two of them, still holding the dripping dishrag.
"You'll be able to know we're safe with the clock," wheedled Ginny.
"Oh, all right. Floo yourselves to the Leaky Cauldron and don't leave Diagon Alley. Oh, and no ice cream or anything, because we're having lunch soon after you get back."
"Okay!" said Ginny happily.
"Thanks, Mrs. Weasley!" said Hermione.
Molly smiled. "Well, best be on your way. The sooner you go, the sooner you get back."
"Right," they said. First Ginny, and then Hermione, threw some Floo powder into the fire place, cried, "The Leaky Cauldron!" and were gone.
The first one to show up in Dumbledore's office was Tonks, beaming as usual, today through a frame of brown ringlets. Minerva McGonagall came not much later, and finally, barely punctual, Snape arrived, looking as though he had been disturbed in the middle of something infinitely important and it was irritating him very much. (AN: I just want to promise right now I'm not shipping any teachers, as almost all of the options available are incredibly gross. I can't say, however, that I'm not going to be sadistic, especially in regard to Severus. ;-))
Dumbledore conjured up chairs for each of them as they arrived, but didn't speak immediately, letting them all brood, or, in Tonks's case, take the opportunity to change her eye color from blue to brown. Finally the portrait of Phineas Nigellus yelled impatiently, "Get on with it, Dumbledore!" and he began to speak.
"I have decided," he said, face solemn but eyes twinkling, "That I am taking you all on a vacation to Disney World in America."
Severus and Minerva looked thunderstruck. Tonks, who had no idea what Disney World was, cheered anyway, "Oh, that sounds like fun!"
"Why?" Severus ejaculated.
"Because everyone here is too overwrought before the start of school, and overly nervous about Voldemort." There was a pause when everyone else winced, and Tonks said blankly, "I'm not."
"I know," Dumbledore nodded. "You're coming to keep Minerva company."
Professor McGonagall looked like she was having a very, very hard time not snorting derisively at this; she had little respect for Tonks's antics.
"God bless you, Minerva," said Tonks, "for being so cranky."
Needless to say, this did not improve Minerva's mood.
"I want everyone to go pack and be back here after dinner. Tonks, you can come to Hogwarts for dinner too, if you like; the house-elves always cook for an army."
Tonks enthusiastically agreed. Minerva and Severus were wearing twin scowls.
"Headmaster," said Minerva, "We need this time to prepare lesson plans and materials."
"Professor McGonagall, you know as well as I do that that is entirely untrue; you've been ready for classes for two weeks already. As have you, Professor Snape," Dumbledore added, when Snape opened his mouth to protest.
"This - will - be - good for you," Dumbledore continued, drawing out each word. "You will relax and learn plenty about Muggles."
"Oooh, this is exciting!" said Tonks, infinitely pleased.
"Pack for four days. I'll see you this evening," the headmaster concluded.
"Bye!" said Tonks, before Flooing back to the Order headquarters.
Severus was shaking with suppressed frustration and Minerva's mouth was a line so thin as to be
"My Lord," said Lucius, "I have a query."
Voldemort, who had been squirting an entire can of whipped cream onto his tongue, hastily swallowed and said, "Well don't keep me in suspense, L-Train, what is it?"
With an enormous effort, Lucius ignored the nickname and asked, "How are we to get to Disney World?"
"I was thinking we would Apparate."
"But with the boy, my Lord, isn't that illegal?"
"Oh yes, and Lord Voldemort totally fears the long arm of the law."
"Oh. Oh yeah."
"Oh, before I forget, have you made the reservations?"
"No, my Lord. Smoking or non-smoking?"
"Non-smoking, stupid! Lord Voldemort can not wear robes weighed down with cigarette stench!"
"Of course, my Lord."
"Come back at nine with the boy, and we'll leave."
"Yes, my Lord."
Ginny and Hermione stepped out of the grate at the Leaky Cauldron and went into Diagon Alley. First they went to Gringotts, where Hermione had the money her parents had given her converted into wizarding currency. Then, ignoring Hermione protests, ("I swear all I'll do is get a quill!") Ginny dragged Hermione over to a little store Hermione'd never seen before, called The Sunbug. Next to those words on the sign above the door was a large glittery ladybug that occasionally scurried across the title and then back to its previous location. Hermione gaped at it until Ginny pulled her inside. Hermione was instantly overwhelmed by rock music and bright colors.
"You know, Ginny," said Hermione tentatively, "my mum and dad didn't give me too much money."
"Yeah," said Ginny. "Like I don't know how to bargain shop?"
Hermione shut up until Ginny began leafing through a rack of spaghetti-strap tank tops, when she choked out, "No."
"Okay," said Ginny. "This better?"
She was holding up a sunny yellow tank top, but the kind with wide straps. Hermione nodded and was ordered by Ginny, "Pick out four of them, there's a sale so we might as well do it properly."
Hermione did as she was told, and, having gained Ginny's approval, they moved on to the bottoms section. Ginny didn't even attempt to ask about skirts. Instead, Hermione got some khaki, denim, and black cropped capris.
"Well, variety isn't our strong point," said Ginny, after all of this. "But it works."
They had almost made it to check out when Ginny stopped short and asked Hermione, "You don't have any sandals, do you?"
"No," Hermione said hesitantly, "but -"
Ginny cut her off. "No way are you going in anything but sandals, are you crazy?"
Hermione decided it was no use to argue and followed Ginny over to the shoe section, where she was appeased by the purchase of a pair of plain white flip-flops. Finally Ginny let Hermione pay for the clothes, and they emerged from the shop blinking in the bright sunlight. Ginny checked her watch; it was eleven.
"I guess we should head back," said Ginny.
Hermione agreed; they were halfway back to the Leaky Cauldron when Hermione cried, "WAIT!"
"What is it?" said Ginny, looking at her in alarm.
"I've had an idea. Come on, it's down this way."
"Fine. But we're not buying any quills."
Hermione glared at her but received only a cheeky grin in response, and they turned around and walked, past the Sunbug, farther down Diagon Alley than Ginny thought she had ever been before. This time it was her turn to experience a new place, as Hermione stopped in front of a prim-looking building that a sign heralded as "The Muggle Archives."
"What is this place?" she said skeptically.
"It's a library, except it has only things published by Muggles."
"Hermyohnee!"
"Honestly, I'll only need about ten minutes."
Upon entering, they were greeted by an owl even smaller than Pigwidgeon. Hermione, who had clearly been here before, said to it, "Disney World."
The owl hooted and started to fly away from them, turning between two rows of bookshelves. "Come on, Ginny," said Hermione, and with that she set off following it.
After a thirty-second chase the owl landed on a shelf near the back of the building and waited for the girls to catch up. When they did, it hooted again and flew back to the entrance. Comprehension dawned on Ginny as Hermione squinted at the spines of the books, which were all Muggle publications about Disney World.
"Merlin!" she cried. "Hermione, you're amazing!"
"Shh!" Hermione replied. "It's a library!"
But she looked rather pleased with herself all the same. After examining her options, Hermione selected a book, and Ginny followed suit. After checking them out and stowing them in Hermione's shopping bag, they exited the Archive and walked quickly back to the Leaky Cauldron, nervous about being admonished by Mrs. Weasley, and promptly Flooed home.
Ron and Harry were playing chess (they had finished packing) when Hermione and Ginny burst into the room. As Ron's bedroom lacked a table, they had set up the board on the bed. Ron, whose back was to the door, quickly twisted around to see who the new arrivals were, causing several pieces to be knocked over in the turbulence and eliciting cries of disgust from some of them.
"Hello Ron!" said Hermione, beaming at him.
Ron wasn't sure whether to smile back or run and hide, but Hermione had already moved on anyway.
"We just dropped in to tell you two we got some books!"
Ron and Harry groaned in unison, but Ginny said, "No, look!"
She pulled out their selections and tossed one to each of them.
"Wow," said Ron, scrutinizing his. "Hermione, I never thought I'd say this to you, but, cool."
"Mm," Harry agreed, having already opened his.
"I love to see them reading," Hermione said to Ginny. "It's so...unusual. Come on, let's leave them to it and finish packing."
"Right," said Ginny, smirking, and they went back to Ginny's room. By the time Mrs. Weasley had called them for lunch, they were done. During the meal, Harry and Ron kept on spouting random facts like, "The height of the final drop of Splash Mountain is equivalent to a three-story building!" or "The Tree of Life at Animal Kingdom has the images of five hundred different animals carved into it!" Finally Hermione snapped and said, "Knock it off, you two are starting to sound like me, when I say things like 'Muggle devices don't work inside Hogwarts.' Honestly," and, horrified, they stopped.
The rest of the day passed in a haze of reading, discussing, and playing. Mr. Weasley came home for dinner, very near quivering with excitement. Everyone ate quickly and then went to retrieve their luggage. They reconvened in the living room, holding their luggage with one hand and reaching to touch the portkey with the other. They all made contact at exactly the same moment, and were transported to Orlando in a dizzying rush of color and sound.
Dinner at Hogwarts that evening was a solemn affair, with the exceptions of Dumbledore and Tonks. Snape and McGonagall were cranky because they had to go, and the other teachers were cranky because they weren't. However, as Dumbledore calmly explained to them, almost all of them were flat characters and couldn't be expected to feature in fan fiction.
After dinner the four travelers went up to Dumbledore's office, after retrieving their bags from wherever they had left them.
"So where are we Apparating to?" asked Tonks, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Dumbledore gave everyone the coordinates of their destination and after a soft pop! they Disapparated, arriving in a building with a carpeted floor next to a window, and standing behind a bit of wall that concealed them from the Muggles. Yes, Severus realized with horror, there were Muggles here, and out the wide window he had a view of a plane runway.
"Professor," he said furiously, "Why, in the name of everything sacred, couldn't we just Apparate to America?"
"Because flying is more enjoyable and educational."
"Educational, my hat," said Minerva sourly.
"Now then," Professor Dumbledore continued, ignoring her. "We need to hurry, the airplane is taking off soon. Here are everybody's boarding passes." He handed them out, and no one bothered to ask how he had gotten them.
Now Tonks, who had actually flown once to visit her father, realized that they had in fact Apparated to outside their gate, so they wouldn't have to go through security. She led the way over to the flight attendant standing next to the opening of that tunnel that leads onto the plane, who accepted their boarding passes with an airy smile. They boarded the plane, walked back into the coach section, and found their block of four seats next to the window. Dumbledore took the window seat and Snape sat next to him, and behind them Tonks took the window seat while McGonagall sat on the aisle. Severus glared at the other passengers as they made their way past him to the seats, until finally Dumbledore switched seats with him so fewer people would be exposed to his fearsome countenance. After one of those odd safety videos where a bunch of actors act unaffected as they pull masks over their faces - Tonks laughed raucously through the entire thing - the plane gathered speed and took off. The captain's voice filtered through the cabin.
"We will now begin our in-flight movie, 102 Dalmatians."
As the film began, Snape groaned to himself and wished he had thought to bring a painkiller potion. It was going to be a very, very long flight.
"I don't -want- to go. There won't be any nasty girls over there," Draco drawled in protest.
"Since when did you care about women?" Lucius irritably returned. "Merlin knows you could do better than that Parkinson swine, as far as looks go. Why on earth did you go to the Yule Ball with her?"
"Because you wouldn't talk me up to the parents of any Durmstrang girls, Father."
"Oh yes, I had forgotten about that. You looked like you were going to cry when I refused."
Draco very, very much wanted his father to shut up. In fact, he wasn't really interested in getting a girlfriend right now, but he had been running out of reasons to hate this vacation.
He and his father were on their way now to meet the Dark Lord and set off. They levitated a large leather duffel bag in front of them stuffed with all of their things, but mainly clothing. Malfoys are, after all, nothing if not vain.
After this latest protest they arrived at the mahogany door to Voldemort's quarters, and Lucius knocked and entered.
"L-Train! D-Train! Great to see you!" babbled the Dark Lord, as soon as he saw them. Lucius noted that he was swinging an empty martini glass and suppressed a shudder as he remembered the last time his master had tried to Apparate drunk.
"Shall we be off then, my Lord?" he asked.
"But of course!"
"Wait!" cried Draco, who had not been informed of the plan. "How are we getting there!"
"App'rating!" cried Voldemort giddily.
Lucius spun around to face his son, and, looking him in the eye, said, "For the love of Muggle torture, Draco, concentrate hard on where you're going and then think, 'Apparate!'"
Immediately after saying this both Draco's father and his father's master Disapparated.
"I'll have a bloody party if I don't get splinched," said Draco aloud to the empty room, and with that he disappeared.
I think I'll leave y'all in suspense as to whether or not he lives. Back to the adults!
Professor McGonagall had made a wonderful discovery. Having been driven to her limits by Tonks's antics (changing her eye color, loudly exclaiming upon things she saw in the magazine that had been in the pouch on the back of the chair in front of her), she had stood up and walked towards the back of the plane without any idea where she was going. And there she found it - the food cart that was usually being pushed around by the stewardesses. Pouring herself an orange juice, Minerva vowed to stay there for as long as she could.
Back in the seating area, Snape was faring no better. The film was positively hellish. It mercifully concluded but was followed by a lengthy excerpt from some show called The Twilight Zone. Dumbledore thought it was great, but Snape was relieved when he began to drift off to sleep.
Not much later, Tonks poked her head in between the two seats in front of her and cheerily inquired, "How's Severus taking it, Professor?"
"He's fallen asleep," Dumbledore replied, turning to face her.
"Well come take Minerva's seat then, she's gone and disappeared too and I'm so bored I could tear my hair out. I brought some cards, we can play Go Fish."
"An excellent proposition," said Dumbledore, doing as she suggested.
They were halfway through their second game when Minerva returned looking cranky.
"What's wrong, Minnie?" inquired Tonks, grinning because she had just made a match.
"My ears hurt," she said thickly, "And Albus took my seat."
"Oh, bother, sit next to Severus. We're in the middle of a game."
"Well, thanks, Nymphadora."
Tonks glared at McGonagall as she sat down.
After a lengthy pause, Minerva said, "My ears still hurt."
"Chew some gum," Tonks suggested.
"I don't carry sweets all over with me!"
"I do," Dumbledore intoned, proffering some gum and deeply hoping she'd shut up so he could try to come back and win the game.
She begrudgingly took a strip and unwrapped it looking bitterly regretful. After she had begun chewing Dumbledore returned his attention to his cards and said sullenly, "Go fish."
Tonks raised an eyebrow at him. "I can't; it's your turn."
By the end of the flight everybody was miserable; Dumbledore because he had lost at cards, Tonks because he refused to play again, and the other two for obvious reasons. Everybody fell asleep except for the headmaster, who was focusing his attention on frowning at the TV screen above him, which was blank. At last the captain announced they would be landing shortly, and Dumbledore checked that no one was watching before performing spells on Tonks and McGonagall to overcome their jet lag so they would sleep that evening; he wasn't sure he could stand the two of them together on sleep deprivation. He made to do it to Snape too but then appeared to think better of it and stowed his wand back in his bag. After a moment of steeling himself, he awakened the three of them, who all glared at him mutinously as the airplane began its descent. He studiously ignored them in turn as they touched down and filed out into the airport. Severus forcibly argued about it until Dumbledore agreed to Apparition to the hotel, and even Muggle-friendly Tonks couldn't work up a protest. Relieved that his charges were in agreement for a change, he led them all into an abandoned corner of the airport, and they disappeared.
After about ten seconds the sound of high-pitched laughter reached Draco's ears, and when he finally opened his eyes he was astonished to see that whatever he had done had worked, and he arrived at the sides of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his father. The giggler was Voldemort.
"Lucius," he said, gasping with laughter, "Your boy - he's – why – eyes closed – looks like a goon," he panted finally.
"Mmm," said Lucius, in automatic agreement. "Goon. Absolutely right."
He was looking around at their surroundings and giving his master as little attention as possible. Draco irritably did likewise, tilting back his head to look up in a way that caused his silvery-blond strands to fall back pell-mell. Of course, they had Apparated carelessly into the open (whether on purpose or not is debatable), and were standing in front of letters twice his height that read "ALL STAR MOVIES", and behind these letters was a wide band of sidewalk like a moat that separated them from the doors to the lobby.
"I guess we should go get our room key." The Dark Lord was still breathless with laughter.
"Here's the reservation information," said Lucius, pulling out a thin sheaf of papers from within his luggage.
"I'll go," said Draco immediately, striving to not sound patronizing. "You two wait out here."
"Fine," his father replied, relinquishing the papers, "But look eighteen, will you? Otherwise we're breaking the law." He paused and added, "Again."
"Yeah, whatever," said Draco, turning toward the doors. We walked into the lobby, which was brightly colored in a way that caused him pain. Directly across from him was the entrance to a gift shop, to the left was a little screening area centered around a screen showing clips from classic Disney television shows and movies, and to his right was the long front desk. He waltzed up to a cast member behind said desk wearing the classic lurid uniform and presented his reservation information wordlessly. She cheerfully gave him four plastic credit card-like (though Draco didn't know it) things that had pictures of a blond fairy in a green dress on the front superimposed over a pastel purple background. Wondering how much of this he could take, he listened as the employee explained that they were both room keys and tickets and then gave him some park maps. Scowling at her command to "Have a nice day" he trudged out. It was then that he noticed something – it had been almost dark when they left Britain, but here the sun was high in the sky.
"Apparition counteracts the time change then, does it?" he asked as he rejoined his chaperones.
"Yes, you'll fall asleep as normal tonight, but you'll lose the time on the return trip," Lucius explained. "Do you have our room key?"
"Oh yeah." Draco gave each of them one of the (in his opinion) hideous cards.
"Ooh pretty fairy!" Voldemort cried.
"C'mon, we're in the Buzz Lightyear building in the Toy Story complex, whatever that is. This direction."
He sauntered off towards the building the front desk had told him to look for, and arrived in front of the huge figure of a cartoon astronaut, standing in the middle of a courtyard of overlarge toys. Woody was standing across from Buzz, but Buzz was as much as Draco could handle right now. He led the other two up a flight of stairs made to look like a bucket of toy soldiers, and over to their room. Sliding his key in the unlocking mechanism, he opened the door and was rewarded with a view of a plain-looking room. Two double beds with bright bedspreads, a television, a light fixture that looked like a bag of popcorn, a sink, a bathroom, and a poster for the movie Toy Story. Checking that his father and Voldemort were still behind him, he walked in to investigate further. Lucius followed, dropping the trunk on the shelf next to the television. Voldemort, who had begun skipping, skipped into the room and exclaimed, "Ooohh, how pretty!"
"My Lord, how many martinis did you have before we met you to depart?"
Voldemort spun around to face his servant. "Eleventy-one," he said solemnly.
"Okay then," said Lucius. "How about we watch the Muggle box?" he added, gesturing at the television.
"Yay!" Voldemort sat on the second bed and withdrew his wand, waving it to turn on the television. At the same moment Draco turned it on with the remote (He had taken Muggle Studies to learn how to torment them better), so that the Dark Lord applauded and cheered, "It worked! It worked!"
"Actually –" Draco began, prepared to explain, but he was cut off by a venomous look from his father and Voldemort was left in happy naiveté.
The television had been turned on to the Disney Information Channel, which, as usual, featured some actress enumerating the top ten sights at Disney World. After an hour of watching this in which the top ten list repeated itself three times, Lucius attempted to change the channel, but this elicited such an outcry from Voldemort that he immediately switched it back, and didn't try again. Some torturous four hours later, Voldemort tore his attention from the show long enough to say, "I'm hungry."
"There's a food court in the main building," Draco said immediately, very eager to break up the monotony.
"You and the boy go get me something, Lucius," Voldemort easily commanded. "Something...greasy."
As it turned out, this request for greasiness was going to be very easy to fulfill. This became obvious as soon as the father-and-son pair entered the food court, which stopped short only at offering every food they sold with extra butter for a cost. Lucius bought his master a chicken quesadilla that swam in its own special puddle of grease, while Draco bought himself and his father two cheese steak sandwiches that dripped with the stuff.
Nothing had ever looked so delicious.
They hurried back to their room before the food got cold, and found Voldemort still glued to the television. He was now cheering for his favorite parts of it, but he stopped when he saw, or rather smelled (the aroma of the food was very strong), his companions' entrance, and seized the quesadilla when Lucius gave it to him, tearing into it ferociously.
"Mm – excellent –" he said between chews. "How ever did you find something so greasy?"
Neither of the Malfoys had the heart to tell him that a real dilemma would have been finding something not greasy. However, Draco was so pleased by his sandwich that he almost began to muse that maybe this trip wasn't doomed after all. After everything was consumed the three of them sat looking rather sadly at their plates, until Voldemort broke the silence by declaring, "You know, I think this program is just repeating itself. Let's change it."
So they turned the television channel to another station called CNN, where some old man (Larry King) was interviewing some other old man for unclear reasons. For some reason Voldemort thought this was hilariously funny, so the other two had to put up with it until, halfway through a peal of laughter, he passed out and fell back onto his bed.
"He's out for the night," said Draco, walking over to examine him.
"Thank Grindelwald," Lucius murmured, switching off the television. By this time it was around nine o'clock. Draco went to take a shower and when he returned, his father was reading a large book on the mental ramifications of torture in Muggles that elicited the occasional chuckle from him. Draco tugged the large comforter off the foot of his father's bed and laid it on the floor, stealing a pillow as well to sit at one end, and lay down. The light was still on because Lucius was reading, but lacking such a distraction, it was not long before Draco fell into a welcome sleep, feeling exhausted.
Ginny felt her feet collide with the floor; a moment later the rest of her did likewise as she was unable to remain standing. Her head knocked into something, and she and Harry both cried out at the same time, "Ow!"
She opened her eyes, sitting up, and realized her and Harry's heads must have collided. "Sorry," she said sheepishly, getting to her feet. Around her, her fellow travelers were doing the same.
"What a trip!" sighed Mrs. Weasley, brushing some hair out of her face.
"Good thing Portkeys compensate for time changes," Hermione chimed in.
"Very good thing," Arthur agreed.
"Time changes!?" said Harry, who had only just thought of it.
"Of course, mate," said Ron. "I mean, even I realized that."
"It's just after lunchtime here, Harry dear," Mrs. Weasley explained.
"Oh well," said Harry, shrugging it off. "More time for us to get our bearings and explore, I guess."
"Absolutely right," Mr. Weasley agreed.
"Where are we?" Ginny interrupted.
"The travel agent said we'd end up at a Muggle hotel in Orlando..." said Harry slowly.
"Well, we must be in some empty hallway, then!" Arthur reasoned. He was very excited.
"Right. Let's find the exit," said Molly, taking charge again.
This proved an easy task and in a few minutes they were standing outside in the bright shortly-after-noontime sunlight.
"What now?" Ginny asked, looking around as if expecting a Disney princess to jump out from behind a bush at her.
"We're going to take a bus," said Harry.
This was too much for Arthur. "Really!?" he cried.
"Shh, Arthur!" his wife admonished. "There's Muggles everywhere!"
He contained himself as Harry led the way over to the bench next to a sign that indicated that this was the bus stop, and they all sat down. Ginny peered curiously at their surroundings, which were bright, sunny, and saturated with palm trees. After a few minutes the bus arrived and they all piled on. As it was the middle of the day, it was rather abandoned. Even Ron, Ginny noted, looked excited as they drove down the road between two signs that proclaimed that they were now entering Walt Disney World. They arrived at the ticketing center, where they caught another bus to the All-Star Movies resort. Ginny was the last off the bus, and she gasped at the sight that was unfolded before her.
"This," she said, "is so cool."
No one was able to think of anything to add to that, so they moved into the lobby in silence.
"I'll get the keys," said Harry. "You can all sit over there." He indicated the screening area.
"No thanks," said Ginny. "I'll go with you."
He didn't protest so she followed him up to the registration desk. As the clerk, a middle-aged man with a goatee, gave Harry the set of room keys/tickets, he grinned at the two of them and said, "You'll have a great time. There's nothing like going to Disney World with your girlfriend."
Harry went scarlet; curiously, it was Ginny who took the effort to say, "Oh, we're not a couple. Thanks anyway, though, I'm sure we'll have fun." She accepted the maps he proffered and led a still speechless Harry back over to the rest of their party.
"Come on, all," she said, grinning. "We're in the Toy Story area, in the Woody building. We have to go outside to get there."
Reemerging into the sunlight seemed to bring Harry back to his senses, and he took charge long enough to get them lost somewhere over in the Fantasia area. Ginny rolled her eyes at him when he finally gave up helplessly, and redirected the group in the right direction.
"Wow," said Hermione, as they walked into the toy courtyard. "I feel so...little."
"Yeah," Ron agreed, turning full circle to take in his surroundings. "All of these toys are huge."
"Am I the only one who's seen Toy Story?" Harry asked in exasperation. He was rewarded with a round of blank looks. "Well, we'll have to see if we can change that."
They walked over to the enormous Woody statue ("Amazing! How did they do that without an Engorgement Charm?" Mr. Weasley wondered aloud) and up the toy soldiers' staircase, to a set of three rooms directly across from Draco's, Lucius's, and Voldemort's, though they didn't know that. The first room had a king size bed for Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, the next had two double beds for Ginny and Hermione, and the final one had another pair of double beds for Ron and Harry. All three rooms were decorated in a similar fashion to Draco's, though this bunch found much more pleasure in the theme.
"Oh my gosh!" said Ginny, when she unwrapped the soap to wash her hands. "It's got Mickey carved into it!"
Hermione laughed at how easily impressed Ginny was. Everyone put their luggage in their respective rooms and then the Weasley parents stopped by the other two rooms to say they were going to walk around and "We'll bring back dinner with us."
"Let's go see what the boys are doing," said Ginny restlessly, after they had left.
"Okay," said Hermione. They walked over to the room next to theirs and knocked. There was a thump like someone falling off of a bed, and after several seconds Ron opened the door and thrust his face through the crack.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Nothing, we just came over to see what you two were up to."
"Oh," said Ron, and his ears reddened just a little, just enough for Ginny to pick up on it.
"You two weren't being so immature as to have a pillow fight, were you?" she asked forcibly.
"No," said Ron, loudly and immediately.
"Mmhmm. Well let us in, we can watch television or something," said Hermione.
Ron looked reluctant as he opened the door all the way to permit their entrance, treating them to a view of the room which the boys had already completely destroyed; blankets and pillows were strewn everywhere.
"Some lack of a pillow fight you two had," Ginny smirked.
"Eh, shut up," said Harry mildly. He was sitting on one of the beds and his hair appeared even more tousled than usual.
"Oh forget watching TV over here," said Hermione, having taken in the destruction of the room. "Come back over to our room; we haven't completely destroyed it yet."
So they all went back to girls' room, piling onto the beds, and Harry found the remote and turned on the TV. He found a channel where you could order Disney movies to watch, and purposefully neglecting to tell the others this would cause an extra charge, put on Toy Story for them all so they could understand the building they were staying in. While the others watched the start of the movie, Harry, who had, of course, already seen it, had room service bring up some popcorn and sodas, and met the deliveryman at the door so no one else would see Harry paying him. He had bought a great two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola, and poured some into cups for himself and the other three while they passed the popcorn amongst themselves.
Hermione, especially, enjoyed the film immensely, and some might even say she was close to tears at the end, though Ginny was not far behind.
"That was such a nice film," Hermione sighed. "I'm so glad we're in the Woody building, I think I like him better than Buzz."
"Me too," Ginny fervently agreed.
"Can we watch another one?" Ron asked.
The only Disney movie Harry had ever seen was Toy Story, and although he knew there was a Toy Story 2 he was not sure Hermione had the emotional capacity for it right now, so instead he looked through the list of movies and took his chances with The Lion King, which turned out to be a very good idea, as everybody loved it. On the down side, Hermione had started crying during the scene when Mufasa was about to die and Ginny started up shortly afterwards. "Don't listen to him, Simba!" she cried out when Scar encouraged Simba to run away. This caused Ron to mutter to Harry that they were both crazy women. Harry grinned in reply.
After The Lion King was over there was no question that everybody wanted to see another film, and after Ron commented he'd like to watch "one that's not funny drawings" Harry turned on Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.
"Thanks, Ron," Hermione said sarcastically, afterwards. "I needed to get scared out of my skin."
"Sorry," said Ron, shrugging sheepishly.
No protests came from Ginny, however. She and Harry had both thrived on the intense action.
At about this point Mr. and Mrs. Weasley returned, bringing with them an assortment of greasy foods. They sat down with the kids to watch a fourth film, this time The Little Mermaid ("It'll be interesting to see what the Muggles think," Hermione persuaded), as all of the...er...nutrition was devoured.
About halfway through the film Harry became uncomfortably aware that the hero had black hair and the heroine red, and after that he found it very hard to look over at Ginny. Mrs. Weasley seemed to have noticed this too; she kept on looking back and forth from her daughter to Harry, biting her lip as if in thought.
After The Little Mermaid Mr. and Mrs. Weasley went back to their own room because Mr. Weasley was anxious to see how his own television worked, and watch Muggle programming. When it came time to pick the next movie, they picked Cinderella.
"That was wretched," Ron said afterwards.
It was getting quite late, but they decided they had time for one ninety-minute film. Just when Harry was about to turn it on, the television picture faltered and after that everything had a greenish hue.
"Let's switch rooms then," Hermione said. "And I'll call the front desk to see if they can fix it."
She did this while everyone else moved their various items – primarily the remaining Coca-Cola and their own bodies – to the boys' room, and when she joined them she said the staff would come by the next day while they were at the park and fix it.
For the last film of the evening, they selected Peter Pan, because Hermione said she had read the book a long time ago, before she found out she was a witch. Ginny fell asleep about half an hour before it was over, lying crosswise on one of the beds. The film concluded – "How sweet," Hermione said. "I wish Ginny could have seen the end." – and they were left with the dilemma of getting Ginny back to the girl's room. They tried to wake her but she was very deeply asleep from the long day.
"We'll have to carry her," said Ron, staring perplexedly at his sister.
"Well I won't be able to," Hermione said.
Just then Ron had an idea. "I will, then," he said, and made to pick Ginny up, but he put on a big show as if this was really very difficult for him. He walked a few steps, staggering and swaying dramatically.
"Let me do it, Ron," said Harry, eyeing Ron nervously.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, just let me take her before you drop her."
Harry slid his arms under Ginny's limp form and Ron let his own arms drop. Now that he was supporting all of the weight, he really didn't think she was that heavy. But he didn't pause to ponder it as he moved, with her in his arms, easily across the room to the door, which Ron opened for him, and Hermione preceded him over to the other room to unlock that door and open it for Harry. He walked in and gently laid Ginny on the first bed. Her hair was all mussed up and covering parts of her face, sticking to her lips and eyelashes. He wanted to fix it, but Hermione was watching, so instead he just said a gruff "Good night," and walked back to his own room. Ron had changed into his pajamas in Harry's absence, so Harry went into the bathroom and did the same. When he emerged, Ron had already fallen asleep, and he lay down uneasily.
It took a very long time for his tiredness to overcome him. He kept on thinking of The Little Mermaid. He wondered if Ginny had noticed the similarities as well. He remembered how Ginny used to never talk, and then the day he realized she was over it. He hadn't really thought about it then, but now the memory felt odd to him, as if he had missed a step going down stairs. His mind went back to the film, and he asked himself if he was just imagining the whole thing. He thought of Ginny's face, and of Ariel's. Ariel of course was a cartoon character, and therefore could not be expected to have a realistic face, but he thought to himself that surely her most prominent feature was her huge eyes. Ginny had large eyes too; though, come to think of it, Harry was not sure how he knew this. Finally his mind got tired of the unanswered questions and lapsed into sleep.
The three professors and Tonks had Apparated into an abandoned corner of Disney's All-Star Movies Resort. Not trusting anyone else with the reservations, Dumbledore left the others and all of their bad moods outside and went up to the Front Desk alone. Having retrieved the room keys and tickets, he led his group to their rooms. As it so happened, they were staying in the Pongo building of the 101 Dalmatians area, which caused Severus to groan in misery, "I never – ever – want to see another one of those wretched spotted dogs again."
But of course he did, as the entire building was themed with Dalmatians. Everyone immediately went to their respective rooms – one for Tonks and Minerva, one for Dumbledore and Snape – because they were too tired to explore, and fell asleep. Well, except for Severus, who had already slept a great deal. He saw Albus put in earplugs before falling asleep, so in a fit of boredom he turned on the television and became another unfortunate victim of the Disney Information Channel. When the show began to repeat itself he clicked around in desperation, finally settling on a baseball game, though he didn't know that that was what it was. He was merely hoping that one of the flying baseballs was going to injure one of the players so that something today would have gone his way. After watching the entire game, which was sadly bereft of injury, he finally switched it off and went to bed, wondering whether a life of service to the Dark Lord would have been so bad after all.
And that, kids, is chapter one! I'd like to thank my beta reader, Katie, for punctuality, help, ideas, and general awesomeness; my best friend, a different Katie, for even more ideas and general awesomeness; and my other best friend, She-Who-Is-Not-Named-Katie (Lauren) for general awesomeness and introducing me to Superman. Peace out, people, and for all you monorail fans - "Please stand clear of the doors!"