Author's Note: I needed to write this as a way to break from the current depressing stuff I'm writing and also this is based on my life right now. It kind of has to do with living with your best friend/permanent roommate and... certain behaviors you have to get used to and grow to love while also dealing with the one thing you can't handle. So it's just various snippets that go with that. It's just meant to be a fun read. :)

Oh, and Butters and Kenny are about 21/22 in this.

Enjoy!

Butters' Guide on How to Wake Your Permanent Room-Mate:

Between the three years they dated and decided to move in together Butters had become accustomed to several of Kenny's habits, and vice versa. Kenny worked passed midnight and Butters fell asleep by nine. Butters hated the dark and slept with a night light and Kenny talked in his sleep. They both slept odd, and often woke up in various positions that were camera-worthy; usually Butters woke up to find Kenny with his head at the foot of the bed and his leg in a bent position ready to kick. Butters half the time woke up on the floor or spread-eagle across the bed. Butters had to drink two cups of coffee before he could function properly and Kenny usually walked around naked until three in the afternoon.

It had taken them awhile to get used to the various habits they had kept. Some things were hilarious, like Kenny's concerts he put on while showering, and others were a little tiresome, like Butters' near OCD-style cleaning. But they worked together to make it work or get used to the behaviors that they loved each other for.

Except there was one thing that aggravated Butters to no end. He always felt bad about it because Kenny worked so late but he couldn't help but get annoyed; on his days off Kenny slept most of the day. In fact, he'd usually wake up at five or six at night. His schedule was pretty off and it bothered Butters to no end, especially because they already had so little time together. That and sleeping until six seemed wrong; seven hours of sleep was what he usually got. And although Kenny managed about three and a half, when he had the day off he slept for at least fifteen.

SoButters had come up with an idea, with the help of Kyle who did the same with Stan, to wake Kenny when his late sleeping wore thin on his nerves. It was a little wrong but a little more hilarious and it worked every time. Kyle called it "Mission Impossible: Kill the Foghorn" but Butters came up with a simpler name for him and Kenny: "Ways to Wake Your Permanent Room-Mate". And yes, he did blog about it. In fact, it was quite popular. Sometimes he included pictures and videos, which made it even more funny; Kenny knew about it, unfortunately for him, and after the initial shock, surprise, or sometimes anger ebbed away, he laughed about it.

Usually.

What Butters didn't understand was that Kenny was smart. Very, very smart; more street smart than book smart but he more brains than people gave him credit for. In fact, Butters was the only one who knew Kenny was taking online classes between his hectic work schedule; mostly because Kenny knew everyone would push him to excel and that just wasn't his thing. But knowing he was smart, he didn't know why Kenny didn't catch on to his series of ways to wake him. Each day he tried, Kenny was still surprised, still scared, or chased him around the apartment and wrestled with him until it turned into a tickle war.

Thankfully they never really fought. Butters could only think of three times they ever had a serious fight, and even though one time it was his fault, Kenny always took the blame. And he always made it up to him in the stupidest and cheesiest ways. Sure, they sometimes got annoyed with each other, but rather than bitch and moan about it in a passive-aggressive manner they talked about it and worked through it. They each made changes for each other; like how Butters had to adjust to the thermostat on 67 degrees because Kenny liked it on 65 whereas he preferred 70. And Kenny gave up smoking cigarettes in trade for those electronic ones because the apartment they chose didn't allow smoking at all.

So given the fact they never fought, Butters was really lucky that Kenny never lashed out at him for his constant wake up schemes. In fact, Butters was more angry about Kenny sleeping than Kenny was about being pranked every other Saturday and every third Sunday.

Butters sighed and turned off the television which played a re-run of "The Big Bang Theory". He glanced at the clock that read "4:37" and sighed heavily before he set the remote on the loveseat and sat up from his laying position. He had already ran the morning errands, met with Bebe like they usually did every Saturday, and worked on some of his capstone project before taking an hour break.

Which was where he was now.

From the living room he could hear Kenny's phone vibrate on the nightstand. Butters tossed the blanket onto the couch and crept toward their bedroom. His hand rested on the doorknob, and he took a deep breath before he turned the handle.

Here goes nothing, he sighed, and shut the door behind him.