You think people who say real love shouldn't hurt live in cotton candy dream lands. You laugh at them and then find it annoying when the get offended, because after all you're just being honest.
You hate it when they tell you that you're too cynical. What do they know about anything anyway? You're the way you are because of your environment; well that and some pretty messed up DNA. You know that love happens, and sometimes it's good but other times it just sucks. You understand that all too well.
You know real love, because you've felt it. You thought you'd felt it once before but you woke up one day and realized the first time had been a fantasy. You had loved the character, not the actress and that makes you angry because Logan Echolls was played and that just doesn't happen.
The moment you realized you truly in love, you were dueling in a battle of sarcasm with a pretty little blonde. You realized in that moment that she would never back down, and you felt your heart pound a little harder. When you kissed her everything went pretty. Pretty in the way you used to tease your friends when they gushed about their girlfriends. In that moment it was hearts and flowers and fireworks twisted together to create something real, something that only Veronica Mars could make you feel.
You both live in a world that you're far too young to be in. Sometimes when you're bored and way to sober you think it's sad that were both forced to grow up so fast. You've learned over the years that money and fame take away any chance of normality. And you're father killing your ex girlfriend doesn't help your chances either.
There are times, you wish you could take Veronica back to the world of make believe. She'd still be the perfect daughter in the perfect family. You'd still be the only son of a mega star, and you'd both have Lilly and Duncan, who were both fabulous and brilliant. You know however that Veronica's family was never perfect, you're father was always psychotic, and Lilly wasn't as fabulous as you thought, nor was Duncan ever brilliant. It was still nice however to live that dream, no matter how unrealistic it was.
You get angry at yourself for even thinking about Veronica. You tell yourself that she's part of the past, just like Duncan is and you'll never get that back. You tell yourself a lot of things, but you know none of them are true. So you drink away the thought of her, hope that when you finally pass out it isn't her face you see.
It's those moments when you're too sober for your own good you pick up your phone and find her name on the contact's list. "Veronica Mars" you read out loud and smile for just a moment. You want to call her, need to hear her voice but you realize you're weak. She'd hear it in your voice, because she's Veronica and she just knows these things. You can't stand the thought of her calling you on your feelings so you watch as her name disappears and you wince at the emptiness you feel.
You find yourself calling Hannah instead because it's simple. You know that soon you're going to take her innocence away. You'll break her heart and twist her reality in the way yours has been twisted. She'll hate you, and find it hard to ever trust another man, but you dial her number anyway. She giggles and laughs at everything you say, and it makes you feel good inside. She cares, and she's still so naïve that she believes in you in ways you don't deserve. When you hang up the phone, you feel like shoving your fist through the wall so you'll hurt like she's going to hurt.
When you hear the tiny knock on your door you expect to see Hannah or Dick. Instead you find Veronica staring up at you her eyes full of questions. You want to grab her and kiss her but you know it's insane so instead you smirk and tell yourself to get into character.
You're not surprised when she pushes past you and into the main room. You're also not surprised when she starts babbling about how what you're doing is wrong and how bad you're going to hurt that poor innocent girl. You put on a smile as she lectures you, listen as she rambles on and on about young girls and how fragile they can be.
When you tell her that she's right as usual you see her eyes become wide and you find it amusing. You decide to go further so you explain that you are almost finished with your wicked little plot so she can stop worrying. You see relief flood her face and you can't help but question the reason behind it. You know you shouldn't say anymore, you tell yourself that, but this is you and well, you just can't help yourself. So when you tease her about being jealous you realize that you've gone too far.
She lets out a huff and crosses her arms. You hear a tiny you wish fall off her lips and you're surprised by how weak it is. She walks to the door and your mind screams at you to stop her but you don't. Instead you walk with her and hold the door for her. She drops her head and then looks back up and you swallow. You're hers, you've been hers for so long and in that one tiny glance you remember that no one else will ever own you. There's a part of you, the tiny part that still believes in wishes that hopes she'll pull you into some sort of novel like kiss. Instead she stares up at you and forces a nervous smile. She whispers be careful as she turns to leave and those are the sweetest words you've heard in months. No one else will ever understand, but those two simple words mean everything to you. Its Veronica's way of saying what you know she doesn't want to say. She cares, she still cares and knowing that little bit of knowledge makes you believe that maybe things will turn out alright, cotton candy dream land or not.