Disclaimer: They're not mine, I'm just playing in someone else's sandbox. Promise to return them intact once I'm finished. Compliments will be repeated in front of the mirror, flames will be used to light my cigarettes. Please send them all in.
I have absolutely no knowledge whatsoever about prisons or the criminal justice system, apart from what I've seen on movies and TV shows, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.
Lyrics from the title come from Tricky's song 'Overcome'
Setting for this one: Modern day prison AU, established relationship, slight Duro/Auctus
But for now emotional ties stay severed
By Rita C.
The envelope had been carelessly thrown to the ground, falling underneath the bed, to be quickly forgotten. It was not the package that was important but what it contained.
Freedom. Life. A folded piece of paper marked 'Terms of early release'. It was all the same, really.
Hope did not come easy to him. He had learned early on that it was better to be pleasantly surprised than bitterly disappointed. And this place, his home for the past five years, hadn't taught him any differently.
It was no surprise that Agron was so surprised with this outcome. He had finally been granted parole and was scheduled to be released by the end of the week. Prison, not the world, had been his oyster long enough.
His first thought went to Duro. Duro, who had always believed nothing bad would ever happen to them, as long as they stood together. Duro, who had been killed years ago during the same job that had landed Agron here.
'I live again, brother.'
A quiet rustle by his cell door made Agron look up. A pair of warm brown eyes looked back, curiosity and trepidation battling there.
"So? How did it go?"
"I am to be released by the end of the week."
It shouldn't have, but it still warmed Agron's heart to see Nasir's eyes light up with happiness, before throwing himself in the larger man's arms. Agron tenderly ran his fingers through the smaller man's long black hair, before cradling his head, pulling it slightly backwards, and leaning in for a kiss.
It lasted mere seconds before Nasir broke it, looking into green eyes with full blown curiosity once again, mixed with confusion.
"This is great news. It's what you've been hoping for ever since I met you. Why aren't you more ecstatic about this?"
A snicker passed through Agron's lips before he could help it. "Ecstatic? We're using expensive words now?"
Amusement showed in Nasir's face before replying. "I am expensive." A predatory smile before continuing. "Think you can afford me?"
Agron tightened his grip around Nasir's waist and answered, just before leaning back in to continue the interrupted kiss. "Let's see if I can pay you somehow."
Prison life was not for Agron. One could argue it wasn't really for anyone, but Agron took it particularly hard. He had never been one to be holed up somewhere, with others controlling his every move. He had always been his own man. It was what had gotten him into so much trouble to begin with.
He had had a bad feeling about that particular job from the start – the job being too easy, the payment too high, the odds too good. The gods were never that merciful – not to him at least. In hindsight, it was almost too easy to say he should have trusted his instincts – they rarely failed him, and the few occasions he had ignored them it had all turned south very quickly – but hindsight was just that, and there was nothing he could do about it now.
He closed his eyes and let his hands ball into fists as he remembered that night.
The money was nowhere to be found, the guards that weren't supposed to be there, Duro… Duro throwing himself in front of his brother, taking the bullet that was meant for him. He barely remembered his arrest or his trial. Everything was Duro back then, and nothing could damage him more than the loss of his baby brother.
It took weeks until he could find himself again, until he could slowly become Agron again. And by then he was already in this place, with a ten year sentence on his back.
He remembered Auctus. Auctus, who had taken Duro's loss even worse than Agron. Auctus, who was locked up in a loony bin somewhere, after the courts decided he was unfit to stand trial due to mental instability, a decision based on the cool and collected way he had picked up his lover's fallen gun, kissed his bloodied lips and then proceeded to shoot everything that moved.
Agron knew that he had, somehow, gotten the best deal possible. Out of the three present in that god forsaken night, one was dead, one was crazy and one… one had found a new reason to live in the worst possible place.
It was during Agron's first year in prison that he met Nasir. Transferred from another prison, the kid barely looked old enough to be there and not juvenile detention. He looked young, vulnerable and scared. As it turned out, he was none of those things.
Barely a week later Nasir had been cornered by another inmate, wanting what he thought would be a piece of easy ass. He had ended up in the infirmary, with several wounds none of the others were too eager to find out how they had been made. Rumors on Nasir's fifteen year sentence and what he had done to earn it were spread about and he had pretty much been left alone after that.
It struck Agron as funny that, even after all this time, he still wasn't sure himself what exactly Nasir was in for.
His eyes instinctively scanned the courtyard, looking for his lover in the midst of what passed as a basketball field. In spite of his short stature, Nasir was a spitfire in the field, easily eluding men twice his size. It always made Agron's chest swell with pride, watching Nasir dodge and dive, easily stealing the ball before running towards the hoop. He was easily dismissed and overlooked, a mistake he never failed in taking advantage of to overcome his opponents.
Nasir looked in his direction, and apparently sensing Agron's mood – as he so often seemed prone to – passed the ball to one of the other inmates, before heading his way. He sat down on the bench next to Agron and bumped a shoulder against Agron's arm affectionately.
"What's on your mind?"
"Nothing really. Just… thinking. You know, about stuff."
"Does that stuff include you getting out?"
Agron turned slightly to the side, facing Nasir. "More about you staying in."
Nasir sighed. It was a heavy sound, full of longing and regret. "There's nothing either one of us can do about that."
Agron allowed his eyes to wander back to the court, looking for something he didn't quite know himself what it was. A way out. For so long that had meant a way out of here, from being imprisoned inside these walls. All of the sudden, all he wanted was a way out of this impossible situation.
"How am I supposed to leave you here? Knowing it will be years before you can join me, before we can be together again? How am I supposed to pick my life back up and forget all about us? All about you?"
"I don't want you to forget me."
The kiss that followed was as natural and essential as the air in their lungs. It was deep and wet and passionate, tongues battling for dominance, reacquainting themselves with spaces long committed to memory. It left them both breathless, in a way they had only allowed themselves to be with each other.
It took Nasir a couple of deep, steadying breaths before picking up the conversation. But when he did, Agron could read the seriousness in the way he squared his shoulders and gently placed his hand against his face, looking straight into those green eyes.
"Now, you need to listen to me here, ok?" A gentle nod on Agron's part was all the agreement he needed. "You are getting out of here. And you are going to pick your life back up. It's not going to be easy, and there are going to be times when you feel like giving up but you can't. Are you listening to me?" Another nod, this one more forcible.
"I don't want you to worry about me. We both know I'm more than capable of taking care of myself." This time, it was Agron's small smile that gave him the strength to keep going. "You need to be concerned about yourself, and yourself alone. It's going to be hard enough for you out there, without you thinking about me all the time."
"I'm gonna be doing that, no matter what you say."
Nasir sighed once again. "I know. And you know that I'm gonna be thinking about you as well. But you have to focus on you for now. Get a job, get a home, get your life back. And hopefully, once I'm out, I can be a part of that."
Agron nodded, before closing the gap between them, placing his forehead against Nasir's. "I'll come visit."
"No." Nasir gently pulled away from Agron, in order to look into his eyes. "I don't want you coming back here. I can't… just, please don't."
Agron slowly nodded once more, before pulling the smaller man back into his arms. He wasn't surprised about Nasir's request – he would have done the same, had their roles been reversed. He merely doubted his ability to comply.
Time was one's worst enemy in prison. The endless counting of minutes, slowly turning into hours, days, years, with very little to fill it. His last few days though, those seemed to fly by in a blur. And before he knew it, Agron was being escorted through the yard for the very last time.
He allowed his eyes to wander, looking over all those familiar faces. Rows of inmates stood to the sides, hands in their pockets, watching him walk by. Longing to be him, longing for the day when it would be them, and not someone else, doing that final walk towards freedom. Freedom, something they had all taken for granted at some point in their lives, before it was ruthlessly stripped away from them.
He looked around, hopelessly searching for a particular face, knowing for a fact he wouldn't find it. Him and Nasir had said their goodbyes last night – the only night they had had the luxury of spending in each other's arms, courtesy of the short haired, bulky prison guard named Donar, who had escorted Nasir to Agron's cell, quietly informing them he'd be back to collect him before his shift was over. It had been a long night, spent relearning all of the dips and curves of the other's body, committing every moan and sigh to memory, writing promises in each other's skin.
The sound of the opening gates brought him back to the present moment. This was it. Finally.
Donar approached him slowly, and after a slight moment of hesitation, extended his hand towards him.
"This is it Agron. Have a good life. I don't expect to ever see you again."
"You won't." His eyes travelled past his companion, back into the courtyard. Donar sighed before offering up a small smile.
"Don't worry. I'll keep an eye out for him. He'll be fine."
"Yeah. I know he will."
Agron shook Donar's hand one last time, before finally walking through the gates. He turned back around, to watch them close behind him. Closing a whole chapter in his life, one he didn't care to relive. Even if that wasn't entirely true.
He let his eyes wander one last time, quietly saying goodbye to his old life. And then he saw it. His heart stopped beating for a second, before starting to pound in his chest. On top of a slight hill, where a lonely tree stood, bravely defying the rows of concrete designed to keep them all away from the rest of humanity.
It was there he had first kissed Nasir, tentatively and afraid, completely unsure about the smaller man's reaction. It was there Nasir had first wounded his hands around his neck, forcibly pulling him down to deepen the kiss. It was there he had for the first time weaved his fingers in Nasir's hair, confirming for a fact that it was as soft as it looked, getting lost in his touch, in his taste, in the feel of him.
It was there that Nasir stood, looking back at him. The distance was too great for Agron to actually see it, but there was no mistaking the sadness in the dark eyes of his lover, a sure reflection of the sadness in his own green ones.
Nasir slowly raised his hand then. A small wave. A goodbye. No, not goodbye, Agron told himself. It's an I'll see you soon. It's an I'll be waiting for you. I'll be thinking of you until then.
Agron gave a small nod with his head, knowing Nasir couldn't see it. Yeah, that's what it was.
'I'll see you soon.'
He turned around then, and slowly walked away.