DISCLAIMER: Are these things really necessary? Is there anyone who doesn't realize that 'fan' fiction is comprised completely of people who are not the owners or originators of said work?

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"Are you gay?"

Heero Yuy blinked a few times at the odd and unexpected question. Relena had only just walked in the door of his office and that was the first thing she said?

"What?"

"Are. You. Gay?" Relena asked again, this time punctuating the words. She leaned forward on his desk, no doubt trying to gauge his answer by his reaction.

"Umm… no?"

Relena snorted and leaned back with a defeated expression. "You're gay." She sighed sadly.

"What? I am not gay." Leave it to Heero to sound outraged and monotone at the same time.

"Yes you are."

"I am not."

"You spend all of your time with Duo, who looks like a girl." She pointed out.

"That doesn't make me gay." He argued. Normally he didn't care what people thought about him. But when that person was the Vice Foreign Minister and Relena Peacecraft… well…

"He's my partner."

"You spend more time with him than you do any other person." Relena pressed.

"Again, partner."

"You pay more attention to him than you do me. Heck, you pay more attention to him than you do a room full of beautiful women!" Relena threw her hands up in the air, somehow making her words more valid.

"How would you know? And I'm not gay."

Relena looked skeptical. "The Yule Tide Preventor's Ball, remember?"

"You've seen Duo's pranks. He needs looking after."

There was no arguing that.

"And I'm not gay." He repeated, as though saying it again made it more true.

Thankfully, he was saved by Quatre, who just walked in the door.

"Now Quatre is gay." Heero said, looking to point out all the differences between a strait guy and a bent one.

"What?" Quatre said, taken back by the completely off the wall assumption about him. Sadly though, not the first time he has been accused of the same. "I'm not gay!"

"You wear pink. You're gay." Heero told him.

"Wearing pink doesn't make someone day." Quatre remarked, and pointed out Relena. "Besides, my sisters pick out my clothes for me."

"You let your sisters pick out your clothes. Also gay."

"I'm not gay!" Quatre said a little louder, regretting it instantly as a few people outside the office gave him a funny look.

"You live with Trowa."

"We're like brothers."

"Twenty-five year old brothers who live together?" Heero pushed.

Relena looked doubtfully at the both of them. She considered asking Quatre to use his empathy on Heero but wasn't sure if he would tell the truth with the heat now on.

Duo walked in, and Relena focused on Mr. I Never Tell A Lie.

"Are your gay? More specifically, are you in a gay relationship with Heero?"

Duo gave her a funny look. "I sure as hell hope not. If I am then Hilde is going to be very disappointed."

The other three blinked. Seeing as the answer didn't really say he was gay or not.

Relena arched an eyebrow at hero. "I still say you're gay."

"I am not."

"Prove it!"

With a grunt, Heero stood up from his desk, walked up to her, threw a surprised Relena over his shoulder and walked out the door.

Quatre and Duo watched as Relena grinned and pumped a triumphant fist into the air.

They grinned.

WuFei stood in the doorway and arched an eyebrow at them. "What's wrong with being gay? I'm gay."

Duo and Quatre just stared at him for a moment before wincing as Millardo walked past him in the hall, pinching his rear as he did so.

"Mmm, hmm."