**There will be heavy mentions of anxiety and depression as well as gore and sexual content in future chapters**
Disclaimer: Frozen and all of its characters belong to Disney. Rumplestiltskin belongs to Once Upon a Time.
The Price of Magic
Chapter 1
Blue eyes, deep like sapphires, flew open. Covered in sweat, she struggled to sit upright when she felt the overwhelming urge to retch. With shaking hands, Elsa grasped the edge of the bed and bent her head downward, squeezing her eyes shut as her body trembled.
After a moment, the feeling passed and she let out a deep, unsteady breath. Her heart was still pounding.
Calm, she told herself. A light sheen of frost coated the surface of her covers. It's not real!
Her nostrils flared and she released short, heavy breaths as she tried to compose herself and regain control of her breathing. She ran a shaky hand through her messy, platinum blonde tresses and slowly unraveled the loose braid, allowing her lengthy hair to cascade over her shoulder.
The distraction allowed her to relax, and after what felt like hours, the queen was able to breathe again.
Damp with sweat, Elsa shifted in her bed and placed her bare feet on the cold floor.
She could attempt to lay back to rest, but she was afraid her nightmare would return. Elsa knew better than to try when all she would do is toss and turn until restless sleep claimed her. When it came to nightmares, it was never easy.
Ignoring the slight tremors her body gave as she walked, she slipped into the dim hallway. The moonlight peaked through the closed windows, casting long shadows of each doorway and ornament that she passed, and stretching them down the hall of the east wing.
Grasping the twin handles of the double doors, Elsa took in a deep breath when she felt the chill of her power tingle at her palms and swallowed the anxiety. The feeling faded, and she opened the doors, making her way onto the balcony in silence.
The faint chill of night air bit at her skin, but rather than shivering at its touch, Elsa welcomed it.
She perched her palms along the smooth surface of the railings of the balcony for a moment as her gaze scanned the kingdom below. Not a sound disturbed the peaceful sigh of an early autumn night.
Elsa was grateful that nothing seemed to wake Arendelle in the midst of the night.
Adjusting her pale cerulean night gown, the queen leaned forward and cradled her right cheek in her palm as the railing supported her elbow. Her left arm remained suspended in the air and her fingers uncurled, revealing the flat of her palm. With a single thought, she conjured a simple snowflake and watched as it fluttered downward, watching as a light breeze carried it off.
Her eyebrows knit downward in concentration as her lips thinned into a tight line. She could feel another rush of ice gather in her palms and she turned her hand downward. Then with an elegant swirl of her wrists, she fabricated a crystalized heart. Its transparent surface reflected the moonlight.
"It's beautiful, Elsa."
The queen spun on her heels, clearly surprised to find that she wasn't alone, but she relaxed the moment she noticed Anna slipping through the double doors with a tentative smile on her face.
Elsa glanced back down at her creation; it was small and simple, yet its edges were sharp and imperfect. It reflected a stunning myriad of dark blues and purples, fluctuating its colors as if to imitate the scarlet and golden-brown leaves of the trees surrounding the balcony whenever Elsa shifted the crystal-like architecture in her hands.
She wouldn't particularly call it beautiful, but its crystalized form managed to calm her nerves, no matter the current disdain for her powers she had.
"Thank you," she finally said, her throat felt dry.
Anna took to standing next to her, leaning against the balcony. Her hair was kept in two braids, a hairstyle Elsa figured that her younger sister felt to be the most comfortable.
"Can I have it? You know, the ice heart. It's really pretty, I mean you don't have to give it to me if you want it! You made it after all. . ."
Elsa frowned. Her fingers curled around the frozen heart when she was sourly reminded of her nightmare. How ironic. Without a word, she stretched her arm toward Anna and opened her hand, offering the jagged heart to her sister.
Anna smiled and took it. She lifted the heart above her head and allowed the moonlight to reflect off its surface. The way it reflected the many colors of the autumn night was astounding. Yet, Elsa couldn't find it in herself to even refer to such a creation as beautiful.
"Elsa?"
She lifted her head in response, giving Anna her full attention.
Anna cradled the frozen heart close to her chest.
"Are you okay?" Anna asked, lowering her voice. Elsa could see how a frown marred her countenance, and she didn't miss how her sister's fingers tightened around the heart either.
The queen took in an unsteady breath, feeling uneasy. She had no idea where this conversation was going, and knowing Anna, it might not end well.
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure? I heard—"
"Nothing." Elsa forced herself to look away as she pulled her curled hands close to her chest.
"Elsa please, don't shut me out. You know you can tell me anything, so please. . ." Anna pleaded, trailing off, and Elsa could hear her sister's voice quiver.
She bit her bottom lip.
Hurting Anna was the last thing she wanted to do. Yet as she saw the disparity that contorted her younger sister's face, Elsa knew that she had done just that. Feeling guilt claw at her heart, she sighed.
"Oh Anna. . ." the queen whispered and gave a mild shake of her head, her cold grip on the balcony was so tight that her knuckles paled. Her jaw clenched and she swallowed, organizing her thoughts, but when she spoke again it was far from how she planned. "It was . . . it was just a nightmare."
She was met with silence. Not even the wind dared to whisper.
Elsa went rigid.
Anna shifted beside her, and the queen could feel the warmth of her sister's hand caress her arm.
"What was it about?" Anna asked, her voice low and gentle.
Elsa lifted her hand and cradled her forehead with the tips of her fingers in an attempt to soothe the oncoming headache. Her lips began to quiver when she parted them to speak.
"When I froze your heart."
She felt Anna's grip tighten.
"Oh, Elsa . . . you—you didn't mean it. It was my fault, I pushed you. You're my sister, I know you would never hurt me."
"But I did!" she cried out, moving to pull away from her younger sister, but Anna refused to let Elsa distance herself.
"It was an accident! You were scared!"
"That doesn't give me an excuse, Anna. That doesn't mean that I'm not a—" Monster, she finished inwardly, drawing her arms around herself, trembling.
"Don't you dare, Elsa!" Anna hissed. She took her chance and moved forward, prying Elsa's hands from her stomach and pulled her into a tight embrace. The princess's arms wrapped around her sister's back as she buried her face into the queen's shoulders. There was no mistaking the warm wetness that stained through her nightgown. "God, you're my sister. You're not a—you'll never be a. . ." Anna trailed off with a small hiccup.
Elsa stared ahead, unmoving as her sister shook with tears. After a moment's hesitation, she sighed and wrapped her arms around Anna, returning the tight embrace when she felt that her throat grew tight and her eyes became blurry with unshed tears.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, burying her face into the crook of Anna's neck. "I didn't mean to upset you."
Anna gave another hiccup. Shaking her head, she pulled away and looked up at Elsa with an attempted, watery smile. She sniffed and fruitlessly wiped at the tears that continued to stream down her face.
Elsa frowned, clenching her hands. Why was she always the reason for Anna's tears? What kind of person was she, making her little sister cry? Between the two of them, Anna was always the one to break down, giving in to her raw emotions a lot easier than her older sister. She was like an open book. Elsa, on the other hand, always managed to put up a guise. Her years of isolation had allowed her to master the idea of concealing her emotions rather than wearing them on her sleeve; but that didn't mean she was hurting any less than Anna.
The princess sucked in a breath and wiped away the last of her tears, drying her face before giving an inaudible, shaky sigh.
"You're my sister," she whispered again, turning to meet Elsa's eyes as she held her quivering bottom lip between her teeth. "I love you, and nothing will change that."
Warmth welled up inside Elsa's chest, and she felt as though she would burst before it settled in her stomach and faded. Her jaw trembled and her brows knit downward as she reached over to take Anna's hands in her own; her cold fingers caressed her sister's warm palms.
Finally, for the first time since her nightmare, a genuine smile crossed her ivory features. There was nothing more comforting than knowing that her sister would always be there when she needed her.
"I love you too, Anna."
Anna returned the smile with a sincere upturn of her lips before she drew closer to envelop Elsa into another hug.
"Promise me you'll come find me the next time you have a nightmare?" she asked, closing her eyes.
Elsa drew in a breath then pulled away, placing her hands on Anna's shoulders as she looked her sister in the eye.
"I promise."
Elsa watched as the tension fell from Anna's shoulders and her light blue eyes lit up when a sly smile spread along her freckled cheeks.
"Good, because I'm good at chasing those nasty nightmares away!" she declared, pumping up her fist in a threatening, yet comical manner.
Elsa gave a slight chuckle followed by a roll of her eyes and a shake of her head.
"I'm sure they're shuddering in their boots."
Both sisters shared a light laugh.
A genuine smile adorned Elsa's visage and she withdrew her hands from Anna's shoulders, reaching down to take hold of the frozen heart in her younger sister's hands.
"Keep it," Elsa told her, curling her hands over Anna's fingers.
Anna's blue eyes stared down at the crystalized ice between their palms for a moment before breaking away from the chill of Elsa's skin.
"Thank you."
With an affectionate smile, Elsa leaned forward and brushed a piece of ginger hair out of Anna's face, tucking it behind her ear.
"We should try and go back to sleep."
The next morning, Anna burst into her study and demanded the queen to take a break from her duties and accompany her on a relaxing stroll in town with her. Usually, Elsa would have no qualms with such a demand—in fact, she would love to comply and forget about all of her unsigned papers, agreements and unwritten letters. Though, she had to be thankful that for once she had a break from scheduled meetings with foreign dignitaries.
"Anna," she groaned, placing down her quill as she turned in her chair to give her sister a sharp look when Anna became more insistent and took to trying to pull her arm out of its socket. "Maybe some other time, I really have a lot of work to get done and these papers won't sign themselves."
"Puhh-leaaaase, Elsa? We haven't hung out in forever!"
Elsa crossed her arms and raised a brow, knowing full well what "forever" meant to younger sister.
"I just took you and Olaf ice-skating yesterday."
"That doesn't count!"
"Wha—of course it does!"
Anna puffed out her cheeks and blew a raspberry.
"That wasn't quality sister time!"
Really, Anna? Really?!
Elsa fought the urge to rub her temples with irritation. Instead, she pressed her lips into a thin, prim line. She wouldn't let Anna get her way this time, there was just too much to get done.
"Then please enlighten me, what is quality sister time?" she inquired, failing to keep her annoyance from showing.
Anna grasped her arm once again and tried to pull Elsa out of the chair.
"It's when we stroll into town and play with the little children and go into shops and try on dresses and—"
Elsa blinked once, then twice. She hardly registered when Anna had managed to drag her out of her chair and began to shove her toward the doors of her study.
"Anna!"
"No, Elsa! You've been working your butt off all day! We're going for a walk!"
Elsa let out a dramatic sigh before she finally gave in, allowing her sister to drag her out of the castle.
It took her a few moments to notice that they passed way too many shops to just be spending time to try on new dresses, but she was silent. Anna weaved them through the streets and waved at a few people along the way, causing Elsa to raise a brow. But seeing the wide smile that spread across her sister's face made her expression to soften. The beginnings of her own smile attempted to match Anna's contagious one when they took another turn.
That's right, she spends more time in town than I do, she realized. The people must be well acquainted with her.
A heat of jealousy stirred in the pit of her stomach and she looked down at their joined hands. Between the two of them, Anna was more approachable and Elsa could only wish that she appeared just as open-hearted as her sister.
"Anna, where are we going?"
At the query, her sister's grip tightened on her arm, causing Elsa to raise a curious brow. Anna looked back at her with a tiny grin.
"My friend wants to meet you!"
"Friend? He doesn't happen to be a reindeer, does he?"
Anna rolled her eyes at her and shook her head.
"No, silly. He's a little boy, he talks highly of you! Well . . ." Anna seemed to pause, slowing in her steps. Elsa noticed her sister purse her lips in thought. "Actually, I think he might have a small crush on you, it's kind of cute. Anyway, his pig always gets loose, so one day when I was strolling through town his pig kind of got tangled in my skirts. He found us wrestling on the ground—well I wasn't really wrestling with his pig, it was more like I was trying to untangle him. He thinks I caught his pig for him. After that, whenever I go into town I visit him!"
Elsa's gaze softened as her sister babbled. Of course, leave it to Anna to make strange friends.
"Our favorite game is hide and seek, preferably without his pig because you know his pig is the best at it and we can never find him. I was—I was thinking we could build a snowman with him today, you know? He's kind of lonely because his parents are always busy in the shop and—"
Elsa gave a small laugh, at the sight of Anna's flustered face, causing the princess to shoot her a confused look. It was rare to see her younger sister so embarrassed.
"Anna," Elsa started, placing a hand over her sister's, "I'd love to meet him."
Anna beamed and she bounced on her feet, leaning forward to grab both of the queen's arms and drag her around another corner.
"Oh! Here we are! Anders, over here!"
They heard sniffling followed by a hiccup as a small child rounded the corner. His eyes wide and watery. Elsa frowned.
"Hey," Anna's voice grew soft and she released Elsa's arm to make her way over to him, leaning down to his level. "What's wrong, Anders?"
Anders gave another sniffle and gave a vigorous rub at his eyes.
"M-My pig, he's—he's gone!"
Elsa watched as Anna's face fell before a determined expression replaced her frown.
"We'll get him back, don't you worry Anders! I brought my sister this time!"
Elsa's eyes widened and she raised a hand, ready to protest, but she shut her mouth when her eyes met the child's distressed gaze. A tiny, hopeful smile graced his features.
"Q-Queen Elsa? Y-You'll help me get my pig back?"
She was taken aback for a moment, then sighed when she realized that she couldn't say no.
"Of course. No pig will get very far with me around."
A shy, toothy smile stopped the boy's tears as a tiny blush burned at his cheeks.
Anna quirked a smile at her, then turned back to Anders.
"Which way did your pig go?" The princess asked.
Just as Anders raised a finger to pin-point the direction of the pig, a loud snort followed by the oinking of what Elsa perceived to be a pig, bounced off the walls of the alleyway.
"Pig!" Anna yelled, pumping a fist in triumph as she raced after the animal.
"Anna, no wait!" The queen raised a hand, but her cry was unheard as the princess disappeared behind the corner with Anders hot on her trail.
She let out a loose curse under her breath and lifted the side of her dress as she gave chase.
"Anna! Anders!"
This is not how we catch a pig! Not that she knew exactly how to catch a pig, but she had a few ideas that wouldn't involve chasing it around town and causing havoc.
Elsa felt frost gather at the tips of her fingers at the thought of conjuring something useful. Something that would halt all three of them in their tracks.
A loud crash reverberated off the brick walls of the buildings around her, causing the queen to grit her teeth. She could only imagine the kind of trouble Anna was getting herself into and was now regretting even allowing her sister to drag her along. She should have stayed in her study after all.
With a flick of her wrist, she watched as fragments of ice gathered beneath her and spread through the cobblestone streets of the town, promptly catching up with Anders and Anna. Anna gave a surprised squeal and both of them began to stumble and slide on their feet. Anders bowled into Anna, forcing the young princess to lose her complete footing and fall flat on her back with a loud gasp.
Elsa slowed to a stop and placed a hand on her hips, trying to catch her breath. A tiny squeal caught their attention.
"My pig!"
The small beast slid, its movements became desperate in its attempt to find friction on the ice as it spun toward the fjord.
Anders cried out for the pig and leaped to his feet, taking off.
Elsa's heart skipped a beat when Anna sent her an alarmed look.
"Elsa he—he can't swim!"
"What?"
"Anders, he can't swim! If he falls in the fjord he'll—" Anna cut herself off and gave a terrified look, bringing a hand to her mouth before she began to charge forward.
"Anders!"
"Anna wait!"
Elsa sped after them, her heart pounding in her ears. For a terrifying moment, she realized that she was never going to catch up to them in time.
Desperate, the queen thrust out an arm, her fingers spreading apart as a blue flare of her ice magic escaped her hand.
Her heart stopped when she slipped on the ice beneath her and the direction of her magic missed its mark—shooting straight into the boy's arm instead.
A loud shriek echoed, drawing the attention of the crowd at the boy's pain-filled cry.
No. Not again!
Elsa pushed herself onto her feet to find Anna cradling the little boy's arm, soothing him.
Tears streamed down his face as his terror-stricken gaze met her own. Elsa gave a thick swallow.
She felt sick.
She stared down at her palms. Her cursed hands trembled.
All oxygen left her lungs.
"Elsa?"
Her head snapped upward to notice that Anna had moved to stand.
The crowd drew closer. She could see the animosity in their eyes.
Monster.
"N-No." Elsa drew back, cradling her hands close to her chest.
Anna raised her hands and carefully approached her, as if she were afraid Elsa would break.
"Elsa, wait a second. It's okay, he's fine!"
The queen squeezed her eyes shut and fled.
In quick haste, she slammed the door shut behind her and leaned her forehead against its polished surface.
Ice quickly spread upward from the tips of her fingers, crawling and weaving through the tiniest cracks and over the bumps of the door. Breaking off into multiple paths along the shadows of her pastel blue walls, the ice curved and protruded into sharp, angry spikes. A tiny wail of despair ripped past her lips when she backed away from the door, pulling her closed fists to her chest.
"N-No. I can control it."
"Or can you, dearie?"
Elsa whirled on her feet, stiffening at the sound of a peculiar, unfamiliar voice. Her heart hammered in her chest and her hands began to shake. Keep it together!
A playful laugh drowned out the sound of ice cracking and her eyes darted to a chair seated close to her bed where a goblin-like man sat.
His skinny, gold-like fingers tapped together as he tilted his head when a large grin spread across his odd features. Then, he lifted a finger and followed a new path the frost had taken as it crawled down the corners of the walls and froze the wooden floors, toward him.
"It's getting quite cold in here~!" he commented with a twitch of his lips.
Elsa remained shell-shocked, her arms limp at her sides before she drew them upward to hug her chest. She took a wary step backward.
"Who are you?" she demanded cautiously.
The man's sharp gold eyes traveled from the dispersing ice and settled upon her slumped form as he moved to stand. With slow, calculated steps, he shifted toward her carefully then lowered the upper half of his body into a deep, mocking bow. His left hand tucked behind his back as his right wrist rolled upward, revealing the flat of his rough, golden palm, when his named rolled off his tongue.
"Rumplestiltskin, at your service~!"
Growing anxious, Elsa gnawed her bottom lip raw.
"How did you get past my guards?"
Rumplestiltskin let out a high chuckle, straightening himself as he lifted an arm and waggled a finger at her. His tongue clicked when he allowed a side-grin to curl at his lips.
"You see dearie, magic is a wonderful thing!"
She gave a thick swallow, not trusting herself to speak.
He gave a high-pitched chuckle, seemingly amused at her wariness.
"I can just appear at a simple utter of my name!"
"But I didn't—"
Rumplestiltskin cut her off, waving a finger as he circled her, like a predator would its prey.
"Sometimes you don't have to, I merely came of my own accord~" he seemed to sing with a click of his tongue followed by a short snigger.
Elsa frowned, wringing her hands, her wide eyes followed his every movement.
"Why?" she whispered, and though she tried to keep the tremor from her voice, she could feel a slight quiver strangle her throat.
"I simply sensed your distress dearie. You may not have said my name, but I heard you calling," he explained. A playful smirk grew plastered on his face as he walked toward her.
Elsa held her ground, it was as if her feet were frozen. In the back of her mind she willed herself to move, but weakness was the last thing she wanted to show. Instead, her wide blue eyes locked with his.
She could feel a shiver race up her spine with unease as his amber gaze flickered with amusement. It was as though he were laughing at her pain.
"I can help you, dearie."
She felt her breath leave her lungs.
"You—you can?"
He gave a snicker, then halted behind her.
Elsa fought the urge to flinch when his thin, bony hands brushed against her bare shoulders. She could imagine a grin play across his sharp countenance.
"Why of course!"
Her curiosity got the best of her, and she found that she couldn't keep the question from falling from her lips.
"You can take away my powers? How?"
"I never said anything about taking away your powers, dearie."
Elsa took a hesitant step forward.
"But can you?"
Rumplestiltskin was silent. He turned his back to her, running his hands along the arms of a chair. Sunlight streamed between the open curtains of the windows, illuminating his single form as he moved to sit.
He was stalling, that much she could tell in the way that he moved, careful and languid. He laid back into the chair, taking his time to get comfortable on the cushioned seat. He then lifted an arm, glancing at her with a golden eye, and flicked a few pieces of his dark auburn, curly hair out of his face.
"Let me get this straight," he started, tilting his chin as he watched her from across the room. A twitching smile played across his features, continuing the unnerve her. He pointed a dainty finger at her, drawing an imaginary circle in the air as he spoke. "You want me to take away your magic?"
Elsa bit her lip and stared down at her open palms.
"Yes."
Rumplestiltskin leaned forward and rested an elbow on his knee in a crooked manner. He seemed to squint at her.
"Are you sure about that, dearie? Remember, what is done cannot be undone~"
Her shoulders tensed and she seemed to hold her breath. Her eyebrows creased when she clenched her fingers into her hands, causing her knuckles to pale. She could feel her nails dig into the softness of her palms, imprinting small, red crescent-shaped marks on her alabaster skin.
These powers—no, this curse—was a part of her. For thirteen years she's struggled with keeping them under control. Not just for the safety of her kingdom, but more importantly, for Anna's safety.
At night, when nightmares plagued her mind, her sister would reassure Elsa that she was alive and well. That her powers were a gift rather than a curse. But it was times like these where Elsa begged to differ.
These powers—this curse controlled her life. On certain days it depicted what she would wear, how she would act and move. Sometimes the queen even found herself longing for the softness of her gloves that would encage her fingers and imprison her powers. God forbid she accidentally froze another innocent being.
She wanted to be normal; to be truly free.
She wanted to rid herself of the bitter weight on her shoulders.
She wanted to rid herself of the night terrors that were merciless in their attack with images of Anna clutching at her heart, her cheeks marked with frozen tears streaking down her face; Anna pleading for her.
"E-Elsa, please . . . i-it's so cold."
With shaking hands, she pressed them against the sides of her face and squeezed her eyes shut as if it would block the image of Anna's fear-stricken face from her mind.
"Yes," she whispered. "Yes, please!"
Anything, anything to take away the pain.
Anything to just be free of this curse.
"So, ya want to make a deal then dearie?"
Elsa gave a languid lift of her head, her breath catching in her throat when she realized that his face was merely inches away from her own. Was she so caught up in her own turmoil that she hadn't noticed him move?
How could I allow myself to appear so weak in front of him of all people? She chided herself and pressed her chapped lips together.
The queen then pulled her elbows in and clasped her hands together, straightening her back as she steeled herself.
"A deal?" she inquired with the slight raise of a brow.
Rumplestiltskin nearly bounced on his feet. He fiddled with his fingers in an excited manner when he gave a high pitched laugh that sent chills down her spine. He waved a finger at her and leaned in close. So close that his nose nearly brushed against her own.
Elsa fought the urge to draw back in disgust and distance herself, but she was afraid she would appear startled if she did so.
"Why of course~ you think I'd do you a favor without anything in return?"
Elsa tilted her chin higher. Her eyes flashed for a moment when she reconsidered his offer.
The sound of ice, cracking like glass filled her ears once again, and she was all but reminded of the fear and guilt that weighed on her conscience. It was then that she made up her mind.
"What do you want?"
Rumplestiltskin withdrew from her by taking a step back. With a fluid wave of his hand, he conjured a small bottle. Its deep blue contents swirled against the transparent glass that contained the fluid. He gave her a smirk and held the clear bottle by its cork with two fingers.
Her fingers clenched at her sides. He was taunting her.
"Oh let's just say," he paused and leaned toward her. She didn't dare move when she felt his warm breath on her ear as he whispered, "I'm invested in your future."
He pulled away with an amused snigger.
"Do we have a deal~?"
Her stern gaze flickered from his knowing smirk down to the small potion within his hands.
Elsa reached forward, uncertain as she grasped the bottle between her fingers. With a clenched jaw, she gazed at him warily.
"You're certain that this potion will work?"
His smirk tilted into a side grin. He was really testing her patience.
Rumplestiltskin then uncurled his fingers from the glass bottle, allowing her to take it.
"Why of course~"
She regarded him for a moment, cradling the warm, delicate bottle between her palms. If he was lying, she couldn't tell, for that same grin was plastered to his face as his fingers seemed to flutter in the air.
Turning her back to him, the queen stared down at the potion in her hands. She felt a strange stir in her stomach as the ominous azure liquid seemed to glow, reacting to her touch.
"I hope you find yourself satisfied, Your Majesty. Remember, all magic comes with a price~"
When she gave an abrupt turn, Rumplestiltskin was gone.
She felt all tension leave her body, and the frost that spread along her room came to a halt.
Her shoulders ached and her head pounded with exhaustion. Elsa could taste the bitter dryness of her mouth.
What now?
Her eyes trailed to her make-shift bed, and for a moment she considered retiring for the rest of the day. Everything had been, after all, very trying.
She thought of Anders, the little boy she had attempted to help. The image of him clutching his cold, frost-bitten arm and his wide eyes, shimmering with unshed tears and something else as he stared up at her.
Fear. Terror.
Monster.
Elsa's eyes darted to the long mirror perched on the wall opposite of her. Her reflection stared back at her with narrowed, glowing white eyes. Her hair curved downward in wild waves then thinned out into a spiral, resembling an icicle, over her shoulder. Two thin braids on either side of her head weaved downward, wrapping around the back of her head, twisting together and merging with the thick curl of platinum blonde hair that rested upon her shoulder.
The woman squinted her eyes and bared her teeth, placing a hand upon the mirror as if to break through and into the bedroom. But as quickly as Elsa saw it, she was gone and her own, true reflection stared back at her like mouse caught in the jaws of a snake.
Elsa averted her gaze, trembling.
No.
She clutched at the bottle.
Her fingers fumbled to twist at the cork.
You're a coward.
Her breath grew uneven and her movements became rushed.
No one loves a coward.
A wail spilled from her lips and she gave a vigorous shake of her head.
That little boy is afraid of you.
You became the monster he feared you were.
"Stop," she whispered. Her hands shook, rattling the tightly-closed bottle in her grip. "Just leave me alone, I'm not a—"
"Elsa?"
The door knob rattled. Then a knock resounded, chasing away the demons that plagued the queen's mind.
Her stomach dropped and her eyes flickered to the knob as realization washed over her like a cold, unforgiving wave—she never locked the door.
Turning on her heels, Elsa stumbled to her nightstand. In a hasty movement, she opened a tiny drawer and shoved the potion as far into the back as possible.
The queen had just managed to turn around in time and fold her hands in front of her dress, poised and regal, as Anna shoved her way into Elsa's room.
Small fragments of ice chipped away from the door and shattered upon contact with the ground. Unperturbed, Anna carefully stepped over the ice. Elsa could hear faint crunching sounds, almost like snapping twigs as it echoed throughout the room as her sister made her way over.
"Elsa?" Her sister tried again, her arms reached out hesitantly before her hands settled upon the queen's arm. "Are you . . . are you okay?"
Elsa could feel her throat grow tight. She regarded her little sister, observing how her eyebrow knit downward, how she bit her lip, and how her eyes watered.
This caused Elsa to lower her gaze. She knew full well that she was the cause of her sister's pain.
Again.
She felt a wave of nausea raise bile in her throat and resisted the urge to hug her stomach.
"I'm fine," she replied softly, then risked a glance at Anna and attempted a ghost of a smile. "Really."
"I don't believe you." Anna took Elsa's hands. "Elsa, look at me."
She squeezed her eyes shut and her shoulders slumped. Hearing the quiver in her sister's tone, Elsa released a breath through her nose and stared into Anna's worried eyes. She placed a hand over her sister's, comforting her.
"I'm fine, Anna. Everything is fine. It was . . . it was . . ." Elsa trailed off and bit her lip, her gaze fell from Anna's eyes.
"An accident," Anna finished. Her bright blue-hazel eyes shone with determination and Elsa admired her sister's courageous attitude and optimism.
If only she could be that brave and carefree.
"You don't need to worry, Kristoff took Anders to Pabbie, and he's fine and well now. A few frozen fingers won't kill him."
Though the information calmed her nerves, Elsa knew that she had frightened the boy immensely. She wouldn't be surprised if her people cowered away from her whenever she made a public appearance.
It was bound to happen, she thought gravely.
As if sensing her distress, Anna took her by the arms and pulled her toward the door.
"Come on, I can have Gerda stir up some hot cocoa!"
Though she felt light on her feet with how Anna began to rush her through the open door, her heart was heavy.
The glass bottle was left behind, but not forgotten.
A/N:
I needed to take this story down for a bit because I realized that I wanted to make a few changes within the chapter before I posted up the next few. The next chapter shoulder be up within a week, it's all finished but I need to make major edits to make sure everything is to my liking (as well as correcting grammar mistakes) before posting it up!
I must warn you, I know this chapter was a little dark, but that's not even the tip of the iceberg and things will only get more suspenseful as the story goes on. If depictions of anxiety and/or depression are a trigger for you, then I will warn you now because there will be a few chapters where Elsa's anxiety and depression may completely relapse in the future. Anna will be a big part of the story, and if you can't handle either Elsa or Anna suffering (mentally or physically) then I will warn you- both of them will experience a lot of challenges, both mentally and physically. With that said, I hope you stick around for the ride, because it will be very very bumpy :)
Review on your way out! It makes me happy and at times reviews really do spark my inspiration as well as my motivation to get the next chapters up faster!