Warning/s: possible OOC
WINDOW TO THE SOUL – August 8, 2013
Rivaille had never really been one to compliment things. Or rather, he might be too jaded to even feel or notice something was beautiful beyond belief. He had seen so much pain, he had felt so much pain. He wondered if he had even experienced happiness through the course of his life. It felt like he had been dying every single day in the hands of fate. In the hands of his cruel fate to battle and survive each and every day.
It was sudden. He had looked and so as he. Their eyes were caught in a trance and for a brief second, Rivaille had come to a sudden realization.
Eren's eyes are beautiful.
It wasn't his opinion, it was his fact. Beyond the physical attributes meant to describe such perfection lies something more and far greater than any compliment Rivaille could ever give. Perfection and beautiful were both merely an understatement of what it contains and of what it possesses.
Eren's eyes are one of a kind.
His eyes show too much of what his heart and his mind cries out. It mirrors the pain, it reflects the regret. It passionately projects all his feelings that overflow within his vulnerable self. And just like the color of his eyes, it is a never-ending depth of emotions that swirl and float through his entire being. Drowned out by anger, drowned out by sorrow, that is Eren's eyes.
Eren's eyes stay true and never had it lied.
He had never been a child. Maybe once when he had it all. Or twice when he had not tainted his hands with the huge burden of a sin he had committed.
At a young age he lost it all. At a young age he committed his first crime. At a young age he constantly fought with life and death. If being a child meant innocence and naivety, then he had no longer been one. If being a child meant the age labeled upon him, then it is not a valid excuse.
He never had the innocence, not when they are caged by walls, not when they are surrounded by a threat that could erase all mankind, and especially not when everyone dear to him are slowly meeting their merciless deaths. He never had the naivety to think of such careless and senseless thoughts, not when everyone is determined to reach the freedom they impatiently desire no matter how hard or painful the road towards it might be.
And despite not having the innocence of a new-born child and the naivety of being care-free, Eren's eyes felt so raw. Maybe it was because of the things he had been through or maybe because he is just a boy capable of carrying such strong emotions. And never had Rivaille saw and experienced being looked at by such sincerity and unbiased eyes. Especially not in this life and death situation, much less, in the eyes of a soldier who had seen too much.
In Eren's eyes did Rivaille felt so human, so weak, so helpless. In Eren's eyes did he felt like dying each time he caught those turquoise-green pair of eyes. And in Eren's eyes did he felt so unworthy of being looked at evenly by such a magnificent creation. It felt so out of place. Like it doesn't fit anywhere near a battlefield. Not when everything seemed so inhuman and wrong.
But then, in Eren's eyes did Rivaille felt beauty, hope, and perfection. In Eren's eyes did he felt the impossible become astonishingly possible. And in Eren's eyes did he discover and experienced the things that are new to him.
Oh how ironic it had seemed.
Rivaille wondered why he felt so captivated and utterly amazed when he looked at Eren's eyes. It seemed as though he was tamed and entrapped by a single glance.
But, he knew the answer all along.
"You had what I never had." He had undoubtedly thought.
And just like what a child presented with a brand new appealing sight before him would do, Rivaille had reached out and wrapped that magnificent thing within what little space his hand could contain. It wasn't a part of his plan to fully embrace him but so it seems, the owner is just as much stunning as his eyes could ever be.
And Rivaille had decided to never, even if it may seem impossible, let him go. If Eren's eyes could truly make the impossible possible, then the threat of being separated is a trivial thing.
"And in the middle of the flood I felt my worth when you held onto me like I was your little life raft." Eren had uncharacteristically said. He couldn't contain the newly found light within his being encompassed by darkness for so long.
And his eyes contained a new glint to it – one that once occupied his despairing heart, one that he had accidentally forgotten but still embedded within his anxious mind.
And if dying was an option that existed in Rivaille's mind, he had chosen to drown in the sea within Eren's eyes. A sea meant only for him and him alone.
A/N: This one came rather unexpectedly. I was just lying on my bed, thinking if I should sleep or not. But then I had this nagging feeling of wanting to really write some Ereri/Riren stories. Then the prompt came up and I just knew, I won't be getting my sleep tonight. Haha!
This little dialogue by Eren, "And in the middle of the flood I felt my worth when you held onto me like I was your little life raft." is actually a line from the song Daybreak by Snow Patrol. The moment I read that line, I just don't know why it struck me so hard. I just really want to add it up. Then I saw that it actually fits in the story but not with the character so FORGIVE ME. Haha! I know it's a bit OOC so I added the words "uncharacteristically said" to make up for it. Haha!