ACT NATURALLY
A Game X-overs Songfic
Starring Sora (Kingdom Hearts) and Sonic the Hedgehog
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom and its characters, Sonic the Hedgehog and its characters, or even the song "Act Naturally". I do not own the Muppets either.
(The scene is an old-fashioned theater, rather in the style of the Muppet Show's Muppet Theater. At the moment that the curtain goes up the stage is at first empty. After a moment or so Sora the KH2 version walks on stage, to the applause of the medium-sized audience. Sora, carrying a wooden guitar, sits on the edge of the stage, with his legs dangling over the edge, and begins to play his guitar and sing. The tune is country-western style.)
Sora: They're gonna
put me in the movies
They're gonna make a big star out of me
We'll
make a film about a man that's sad and lonely
And all I have to do
is act naturally
(Sora gets back up onto the stage, stands up, and begins to dance while playing his guitar.)
Well, I bet you I'm gonna be a big star
Might
win an Oscar you can never tell
The movie's gonna make me a big
star,
'Cause I can play the part so well
(Sora advances toward the audience a little bit, and smiles at them engagingly.)
Well, I hope you come and see me in the movie
Then
I'll know that you will plainly see
The biggest fool that ever hit
the big time
And all I have to do is act naturally
(Sora is about bring his number to a close when a spotlight illuminates the wings and into it leaps Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic, who is carrying an electric guitar, gives the audience one of his trademark and they cheer wildly. Sonic bounds onto and plays his guitar energetically while dancing with equal energy and an overall style that is more "hip" and a little less earnest than Sora's was.)
Sonic: We'll
make a film about a man that's sad and lonely
Begging down upon
his bended knee
I'll play the part but I won't need rehearsing
All
I have to do is act naturally
Well, I bet you I'm gonna be a big star
Might
win an Oscar you can never tell
The movie's gonna make me a big
star,
'Cause I can play the part so well
Well, I hope you
come and see me in the movie
Then I'll know that you will plainly
see
The biggest fool that ever hit the big time
And all I have
to do is act naturally
Sora: Hey, wait a minute! (The music abruptly stops.) What are you doing here?
Sonic: I'm here to spice up this little number of yours!
Sora: What makes you think it needs spicing up?
Sonic: The owners of this theater calling me up last night and asking me to show up here tonight.
Sora: And why would they even want you here in the first place?
Sonic: Because apparently they weren't stupid enough to put all of their expectations into the hands of someone as overly emotional as you!
Sora: Hey, at least I can show emotions, Mr.-Never-Shed-A-Tear-No-Matter-What-Happens!
Sonic: Listen, my bosses in the Sega company want me to play a cool person in all of my roles! And cool people don't cry!
Sora: They aren't very interesting as characters, either!
Sonic: WHAT WAS THAT YOU JUST SAID?!
Sora(After a pause): Look, instead of just standing here arguing with each other, why don't we just finish the song together?
Sonic(After thinking
this over for a moment): Okay, why not?
Sora: Great!
Sonic: Let's do it to it!
(The music starts up again as Sora and Sonic dance and play their guitars together.)
Sora & Sonic:
Well, we bet you we're gonna be such big stars
Might win
some Oscars you can never tell
The movie's gonna make us such big
stars,
'Cause we can play our parts so well
Sora: Well, we hope you come and see us in the movies
Sonic: Then I'll know that you will plainly see
Sora & Sonic: The biggest fools that ever hit the big time
Sora: And all I have to do is act naturally
Sonic: And all I have to do is act naturally
Sora & Sonic: And all I have to do is act naturally
(Sora and Sonic finish the number and strike a final pose together. The audience applauds and cheers wildly. Sora and Sonic bow and then begin exit into the wings, waving to the audience as they go.)
Sora: Goodnight everybody!
Sonic: You've been a wonderful audience! I meant it!
Sora: You know, we weren't that bad together. We should do this again sometime.
Sonic: Sounds good to me.
Sora: I'll have my people at Square Enix contact your people at Sega and we'll set up another date for a gig together.
Sonic: Deal.
(The duo finish exiting and our attention turns to a theater box where the Muppet Show's Statler and Waldorf are sitting.)
Statler: Well, what did you think of that number?
Waldorf: I've seen better duets coming out of an electoral debate!
Stalter: They don't sing in those debates!
Waldorf: Well, what's the difference?
Statler & Waldorf(Laughing): Whoa ho ho ho ho!
The End
(A/N: I hope that some of you readers enjoyed this! And my apologies to Buck Owens who originally recorded the song "Act Naturally" and Ringo Starr who sang lead vocals on a Beatles recording of this song that helped make it a hit).