The blinding white light surrounded them, Dean clinging onto Sam. Oh God, Sam. You let the son of a bitch out. You let Lucifer out.The ringing filled their ears, until it came to the high point, Dean knew he was going to die, that Sam was going to die, that Lucifer would kill them both as he was released. He would- The light and sound suddenly evaporated, dissapeared, and Dean tentatively opened his eyes. He was in a plane, but he was alone. Sam was gone. Had Lucifer taken him? Had who- whatever put him on this plane just left Sam to die for letting Lucifer out? What had saved him, and left Sam? Was Sam dead? Dean honestly couldn't feel anything in that moment. No sadness, no fear, no anger, no grief. Just facts ran around in his brain.
Sam let Lucifer out. Something pulled me out and put me on this plane. Something left Sam there to die. Lucifer could have Sam right now, could be doing anything to him. Or Sam could be dead. Killed by Lucifer when he got out of the Cage or killed by the thing that saved me or just killed by Lucifer after he got out because he was in the way.
And then the plane's other passengers gasped and screamed and the babies and the children and a few adults started crying and prayingand Dean realized he could see the convent out of his window just in time to watch the burst of white light that was Lucifer decimate the building and all hope of Sam being alive left him. He still couldn't feel anything but cold distant nothingness.
Sam was alive, but he wished he was dead. His brother was dead. At least that's what Lucifer said. He'd found a vessel fairly quickly. Or so Sam thought. The last thing he remembered was the convent. Dean clinging to his arm, and Sam grabbing his brother for any semblance of comfort as they watched the Devil being released onto the Earth. Because of him. Because of Sam.
And then he was in a warehouse and forgot for a second what he had done until Lucifer showed up and reminded him that hey Sammy thanks for busting me out and then you're my vessel Sam, my one true vessel and then Sam said no and the torture started. The normal stuff like punches and broken bones first because the vessel he was using temporarily was not equipped to hold the Devil, but then Lucifer got creative. It didn't matter if Sam died because Lucifer would just bring him back and this went on for so long but even when the devil went out to take care of the Apocalypse omens he would be in agony from usually being hung by his broken arms from the ceiling. But it didn't matter because Sam wasn't going to say yes. He'd already royally fucked up by starting the Apocalypse, he wasn't going to make it easy for Satan to kill everyone.
So he said no. He said screw you. He said eat me. He said fuck you. He said never. He said stop. He said please. He said kill me already, because fuck you, i'm not going to say yes.
And then Satan let him go. The Devil dropped him off at Dean's current hotel doorstep, knocked three times, and left.
Dean had been drinking that night. He had been about to make the choice to drink himself into a passed out drunk sleep, until three knocks sounded on the decent hotel room door. Immediately sobered, knowing that this wasn't a maid because he had told the owner of the hotel to leave him be until he left, Dean grabbed a gun, clicked off the safety, and cracked the door. When he saw his brother, lying there, unconscious or dead, he almost dropped the gun. The hunter John Winchester had trained forced him to drag his bloody, goddamn broken brother onto the floor inside the room and pour salt and holy water on him, and then swiftly make a small cut among the many bruises on his arm with a silver blade. Once the typical runthrough was done, Dean cried. His brother was alive all this time, all this fucking time while he was running around with Castiel- Castiel. Dean prayed quickly, and Cas was there quicker than ever. Cas looked as shocked as an angel could. "Dean, I- I didn't know he was alive or-" Dean snapped at the angel with as much anger as he could force himself to vocalize. " Dammit Cas, I don't care, just heal him up. Now, Cas!" The angel hesitated, but quickly pressed his hand to Sam's head. The light and slight ringing as Cas healed the brother startled him awake.
"Fuck off I said NO! Get the fuck away from me go away go away leave me alone dammit I said n- Cas? Dean." Sam was shaking and covered in blood and dirt and he was crouched against the bed he had been lying in front of as he realized that no Lucifer wasn't here and no he wasn't still there. He straightened himself out a little painfully, and Dean stepped one step closer to Sam, putting himself right in front of Sam, and slowly putting one hand on each of Sam's arms. "Sam? How're you feeling? What the hell happened man?" Sam flinched a little at the contact, but stayed put. "I- Um, he- Lucifer, um, he said you were dead, and I'm his vessel, and he uh, um, he wants me to say yes. He's an angel. he needs my consent, but I'm not gonna let him in, Dean. I'm not. I won't. He was trying to get me to say yes, and he... I kept dying, and he kept bringing me back." Dean stood there, a little in shock, but feeling a little like crying and taking Sam and just flying somewhere else, just buying some plane tickets and going until they didn't know where they were. But he snapped out of it and he pulled Sam into a hug and dammit why did Sam feel so small but Sam started crying and Dean didn't and Cas didn't think he should be there so he left.
Dean helped Sam in the shower, but he was mostly healed so Dean left him for a few minutes and checked on Sam until he was done. When he was dressed, Dean pulled together all the blankets he could get because Sam was still shaking and he was so pale. Then Dean got all the food he had and put it all on a couple plates and they sat on the bed and ate together until they both were full and Sam was asleep.
Then Cas gave them the only solution he could think of to stop the apocalypse. And Sam was shaking again and saying that he would do it and Dean felt like screaming because he was putting Sam back in the control of the one thing that had ever broken Sam.
Then Sam was gone.
And Dean was alone.